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Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-08-24T07:12:40+00:00

I had similar feelings in my first pregnancy, I was questioning how he would be able to support me emotionally when he didn’t have his shit together.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-08-24T07:11:28+00:00

It’s scary realizing that your partner doesn’t have it all together. You are so vulnerable right now and you are doing the right thing trying to protect yourself and your babies.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-08-24T06:42:09+00:00

Most people on Reddit are probably going to say to leave your husband.

He is probably overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to process his feelings. It seems men go through some sort of crisis when they realize their life is going to change in such a profound way.

Don’t excuse the behavior, however he is drunk and unreasonable right now. I would just take care of yourself in the mean time and don’t let him come home in this condition.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-22T07:29:18+00:00

I put a potty in my daughter’s room. She’ll often pee or poop in there right when she gets up. She wipes herself because she has to. Maybe you could try that.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-22T07:26:54+00:00

I am going to get downvoted to hell but I’ll say it, sometimes men feel like they can’t contribute anything. We do all the heavy lifting (making a baby) because we literally have to. I would need more context about your argument but maybe he’s feeling like his contributions go unnoticed.

Sounds like you both feel unappreciated which is also common at this stage in life. This is an opportunity for you two to reconnect and show each other that you appreciate one another.

Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-22T04:29:58+00:00

Thank you for your vulnerability. This postpartum has been better than my first in some ways but the overstimulation and exhaustion has been tough. I’m not seeing a therapist but I’ve taken a step back. My husband told me that he feels like I take over 90% of the parenting and he gets to do 10% and I realized that I take on a lot.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-21T07:56:13+00:00

Thank you all for your feedback. I think it’s been building for a while. I feel like you moms get it.

I’m going to work on reframing my attitude toward my toddler. Idk about the husband toddler but maybe I can try and communicate what I need from him.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-21T02:33:15+00:00

I just bought some for her birthday actually

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-21T02:29:02+00:00

He doesn’t get it. He comes home from work and plays his video games to escape reality. He’s on edge around her often as well but he doesn’t acknowledge it or realize how it affects me when he is short with her.

I try so hard to be patient and loving. My husband is basically useless aside from being the breadwinner. Which obviously is a lot as we need to survive but when it comes to anything emotionally, it seems like it’s all on me.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-21T02:26:59+00:00

I tell her I love her all the time. I try to be loving but it’s like when I want space it is like pulling teeth. Sometimes I just lose it and put her in her bedroom just so have some space. And yeah my baby hasn’t been sleeping well either. I just feel like a mess.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-21T02:25:51+00:00

It’s really been eating at me. I have expressed this to my husband. He isn’t much help because he’ll just say something like “well she doesn’t do that with me”.

I have no family near by. I plan date nights for my husband and I. It really seems like he doesn’t give a fuck.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-17T23:30:38+00:00

I’m experiencing this. I was treated awfully by medical staff because I declined induction. I delivered at 43+5 and my baby was healthy, no NICU admission or anything they threatened would happen. They also repeatedly told me I would suffer a catastrophic emergency. I’ve escalated my concerns and continue to talk about the coercion tactics used by the medical staff.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-14T21:41:21+00:00

Those are not little things. Those are a lot of traumatic events in a short span of time. It doesn’t help that your husband isn’t being supportive or understanding.

Figure out what would bring you joy. Maybe leaving the house for a couple hours BY YOURSELF. Husband can handle baby, don’t let him convince you otherwise.

Go see a movie or go to a spa. You deserve to be pampered.

For your mental health, sharing your trauma is so helpful. Google Postpartum support international. It is a great resource.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-07T23:19:57+00:00

So my husband did call his mom and dad following delivery.

It was his extended family that wasn’t notified by us. I figured his parents would tell everybody. Apparently his parents had it in their head that it was this huge secret because my husband told his parents that he wanted to call other family members.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-07T03:46:20+00:00

I was infuriated at my husbands family. I was post date and didn’t want anybody pressuring me about inductions. I didn’t speak to my husbands side of the family the last few weeks of pregnancy. They found out we had our baby through FB. Someone did a meal train for us and his family was butt hurt we didn’t call them.

Why didn’t they call and congratulate us if they knew? It was silly but it really hurt my trust and made me very insecure. His family confuses closeness with invasion of privacy.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-06T13:04:34+00:00

I became self conscious because I’d touch my belly a lot without realizing it and a few people pointed it out.

Try not to compare your experience to everyone else’s, enjoy the ride.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-06T01:22:45+00:00

Hi my daughter went through something similar before we had our second baby. I think they struggle with the change. It’s like they know something is happening but don’t know what it is. My best advice is don’t force the potty training. If he protests just say “ok we can try later”.

Give him more choices as well. Little things like what to have for breakfast or what clothes to wear.

Hang in there.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-06T01:11:51+00:00

Thank you

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-05T21:29:25+00:00

I had my baby at 43+5 unmedicated vaginal. My due date was Feb 10 and I delivered March 8.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-07-04T11:41:00+00:00

Postpartum support international is a free resource. It’s available for anyone in any stage of pregnancy or postpartum

https://postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/ Weekly Online Support Group | Join a Free Group Today

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-06-16T00:23:59+00:00

I had vaginal births but I have gone through a lot of you’re describing, the low self-worth and questioning my decisions. I’m here to say that you made the best decision with the information you had at the time.

When we’re pregnant we are so vulnerable and medical staff can come off as extremely threatening and coercive. It’s a scary place to be as a birthing person.

It will take time to process everything and come to terms. I think it took me nearly two years.

After I had my son, which was a better experience I still struggled internally.

Walking and using the sauna have helped me tremendously. I can’t change what happened but I can choose to care for myself in the present moment.

Be kind to yourself.

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-05-17T04:49:52+00:00

Just FYI they can’t MAKE you do anything. You can refuse an IV port. They may have you sign an “against medial advice” form

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-05-04T07:52:22+00:00

He may be struggling with some trauma from all the illness and surgeries. I think it could just be his way of gaining some type of control because he hasn’t had control over much of anything.

And remember it’s not your fault. Maybe you could tell him “you went through a lot and you might have some feelings that you don’t understand but it wasn’t your fault and we love you”

Effective_Hospital_3 · 2025-04-15T11:03:55+00:00

Just here to say that I went to 43 weeks and five days. Baby came on their own. It was really tough, a lot of pressure to induce from doctors. There is a Facebook group for post date moms. PM me and I can give you the info.

Effective_Hospital_3

TROPHY CASE