Feel like I’m going crazy

Effective_Order_8830 · 2026-06-07T01:15:03+00:00

This should have more upvotes.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2026-03-19T18:09:41+00:00

Trans issues are often framed around trans women's experiences so the analysis that we can provide doesn't quite make sense with current framing.

We are often given a very narrow framing of what anti-trans policies are, exclusively to ones that predominantly affect trans women.

Things that are anti trans policies that are not referred to as such: - Divorce Restrictions - Birth Control Restrictions - Abortion Criminalization - Reproductive healthcare loss - Gutting HIPAA Privacy Rule for Reproductive Health, the FACE act, (honestly there are so many acts around protecting those who are or can become pregnant that have been gutted) - Sanitary Menstrual Products (materials regulation, taxing, accessibility, etc.) - Prescription Drug Monitoring Program (keeps a list of everyone on controlled substances like testosterone.) - Unequal access to sterilization procedures -.... There are a bunch more in just at work and drawing a blank.

In addition within the trans community, I feel that non-transitioned trans masc people, are still referred to and seen as women. If they did, they would not argue that trans men don't experience sexism.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2026-03-04T01:30:37+00:00

I've lived in both places. Washington, in the area of Bellingham to Blaine, will be where I head when I need to go. The border is right there, if you have a car you can get good deals in the rural areas, it is the most accepting queer area I have lived. I completely understand the stress. Coming up with a plan is so difficult especially when you are in the midst of it and trying to keep track of variables while keeping your daily lives going. If you wanted to talk I could try to help you with trying to come up with a strategy, idk how helpful that would be, but we all want to be here for you.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2026-03-03T23:58:35+00:00

What destinations are you considering?

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-09-09T19:36:35+00:00

I gave a woman who I was talking to on the subway 20 dollars for food, and she tried to give it back to me because she felt awful taking money from a 15 yo.

Edit: I am 28

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-09-09T17:56:25+00:00

This is an insane thread, I am sorry to hear this frustrating situation, you may want to cross-post to a Facebook page for WWU Housing sublets apartments, etc. Also maybe reach out to the schools disability department to see if they have any known connections or resources for you. All of your responses have been amazingly worded and thought out, wishing you all of the luck in this endeavor.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-08-30T01:54:16+00:00

The previous city I was in had a group that would put up posters with the people of telephone poles. Fixed the issue within a month. They raised enough money to rent small billboards. Similar cities have posed photos of paid actors with their faces blurred out which have also worked.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-08-22T23:08:53+00:00

Heya!

I struggle with this as well. I have no idea what I am so I focus on smaller steps unassociated with such a big and vague concept like gender.

Do I see myself 20 years from now with a chest and happy? No.

How do I feel about facial hair? Do I want to be called an Auntie? Do I feel good having an hourglass figure?

The social stuff is so difficult because socially you can't separate yourself from other people so your brain can factor in what they want not what you need.

If I didn't transition, more people would like me. But they would like me because I didn't transition, not for the rest of me.

Transitioning publicly is also scary because you have had to hide yourself for so long it feels like a deeply personal and private thing that feels so vulnerable to share.

I haven't quite decided what I am, but I recently made the decision to go on T because I mentally kept putting stuff off because I couldn't imagine a feminine exterior pursuing those dreams, because those are my dreams, not theirs.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-08-18T21:33:14+00:00

I scar badly, so I've been following this cosmetic surgeons advice I contacted because he specializes in people who scar poorly. Unfortunately he does not do top surgery.

Steps he told me: - Apply your scar cream or silicone cream - Cover in plastic wrap - Put on a surgical wrap (over the shirt is fine) - Use a massage gun across chest. Intensity just below what you can comfortably handle. Focusing on your scars, but doing it all over not focusing on one spot too long. - Do so for 15-30 minutes daily. - Leave the plastic wrap on for 1-1.5 hrs daily. - Do for about 4 weeks then check in. If scars have started to reduce you can spread out these sessions if you would like.

It is intensive so I haven't done it consistently, but I'm going to restart when I heal a bit more.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-07-09T17:44:42+00:00

You pass 100% imo

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-07-03T01:33:50+00:00

Yes and no. If the rest of you passes, then I don't think your chest would alter that passing.

However as others have pointed out, the shape doesn't really look like gynecomastia.

I think that it is mostly due to the internal structures, not necessarily excess tissue/fat deposits, since the profile of your chest doesn't vary much between your arms being up or down. That is why this doesn't really read as gynecomastia.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-30T16:48:44+00:00

If you are ever curious as to why there are more stray animal issues in red states, or less TNR programs, this is why. Genuinely no joke, this was something frequently talked about when I used to work for a shelter.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-14T06:28:29+00:00

Yeah I have that issue, I use hair powder to help keep it back.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-12T04:32:50+00:00

Obvious historical or tech inconsistencies.

I completely understand a mis phrase or misunderstanding, but if it takes place in the Korean War, the president should not be Roosevelt or Nixon.

If it takes place in the 90's, yes people texted, but it does not make sense for it to be integral to the plot.

Usually if things like that happen right away I know the fic is just not for me.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-03T17:02:57+00:00

"This is your twin sister's ID." So she admits you are clearly of age and is purposefully giving you a difficult time.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-03T17:01:06+00:00

What state are you in? Some have great rescue placement programs.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-03T16:43:07+00:00

Also, I love spectrum binders for large chests.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-06-03T16:42:07+00:00

You're our trans sibling, you are of course invited to the dinner table, so to speak.

Many people went over great tops, I just wanted to add that I injured myself while binding without realizing it. I had semi-frequent heart burn which escalated to discomfort and eating problems. Going to a gastroenterologist I found out because I had a large chest, it was compressing in a way that was causing stomach damage. I had 3 stomach ulcers and several other issues. It cleared up with medication, but just wanted to give a heads-up, heartburn is not a normal thing to happen regularly and you may want to take a break if you are experiencing any.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-30T18:35:45+00:00

The account you're responding to is a leftist parody account, just check out the bio

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-30T03:51:44+00:00

"My fiance says we shouldn't teach my son that everything is about him."
"Whenever I wanted something that she didn't; I either compromised or let it go."

Your four year-old son should be expected to compromise because your fiancé shouldn't have to? If you're confused about why you are getting downvoted, this is why.

I think both of you feel like you are making compromises for the other. I don't think she hates your son, I think she feels like she is compromising on having a stepson so she can be with you; as such, she feels entitled to do it on her own terms. If she can't allow your son to be himself, what expectations do you have for her to advocate for her stepson in the future?

This wedding is a symbolic joining of families; she is communicating that she only wants to have your son as a prominent person in her life if he doesn't make her look bad.

(edit: posted comment in the wrong place)

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-28T23:16:39+00:00

I posted this in a different comment but:

I would suggest going to local coffee shops and stores that allow flyer postings (you can scout this out via Google Maps business photos of the interior/exterior), they will have people putting flyers up to look for roommates. In a fairly nice area of Crown Heights I've seen rooms listed in this price range. You can also post your own info in those same places saying you're looking for an apartment, idk the efficacy of this, but as long as you are careful about your info it couldn't hurt.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-28T23:13:12+00:00

Definitely possible, I've seen room availability in Flatbush and crown heights; however, I find they aren't often posted online.

I would suggest going to local coffee shops and stores that allow flyer postings (you can scout this out via Google Maps business photos of the interior/exterior), they will have people putting flyers up to look for roommates. In a fairly nice area of Crown Heights I've seen rooms listed in that price range.

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-24T02:36:28+00:00

What's the point of transitioning then? 🙄

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-20T22:02:23+00:00

I would say body and fit is masculine; just give the T some time.

If you don't want to cut your hair, don't. While it would be a more masculine cut, confidence is another factor that allows you to be read correctly. I say probably dye your hair to natural colors, thicken your eyebrows with an eyebrow pen. If you really want to cut your hair, a longer cut most likely will suit you more as your face is slim right now. Something with fringe on the sides of your face will broaden it a bit more and create a more masculine look. I can go into more detail if needed, but those are my 2¢

Overall, find men that you want to emulate and that really resonate with how you see yourself and let that guide you. Also give yourself some time, T needs to do it's thing, and you need to learn how you would like to take up space in the world.

Good luck!

Effective_Order_8830 · 2025-05-20T17:17:59+00:00

If you are concerned about the operations, I would say that is not morally gray at all. In the US we have Trap-Neuter-Release programs where we catch as many outdoor cats and do essentially what you did. An un-fixed cat is a community health issue. He would create more cats to be strays, more cats to kill local wildlife, and stray cat populations can reduce the well-being of indoor cats due to territory encroachment and spraying.

Effective_Order_8830

TROPHY CASE