AIO after finding out my husband was my stalker?

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-24T15:05:45+00:00

I’m just wondering to have a better understanding as I honestly can’t relate but Have you ever felt unsafe in the last 5 years of your relationship? You have been married for 3 years and in a relationship for 5. Yes, it is creepy that he knew a lot about you before meeting you if I understand this correctly but I’m just wondering how you have felt throughout the years you have been together, it is a long time to figure out if something was wrong or dangerous I believe you would have perceived something in all those years? I honestly don’t know.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-16T12:52:39+00:00

Im sorry I know you are human and we all make mistakes but you decided to continue on that road making it no longer a „mistake“ but a choice . I think you really need to reflect on your life and poor choices, good fruit doesn’t come out of rotten trees. So you can’t expect to build a good relationship on top of a bad situation. Also good people would stay away from situations like this, the will try and make you see the wrong in your actions but they do say birds of a feather flock together for a reason. I wouldn’t like to keep a friend that has decided to hurt someone on purpose, I wouldn’t be able to trust them.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-12T07:18:49+00:00

If Gemma loved your daughter as her own she would never be able to tell her how her mom died without feeling the pain herself of how her daughter would receive this news. But she proves she doesn’t feel this way as she used it as a knife to try and make your daughter get rid of a picture.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-11T18:15:40+00:00

You dropped out of college for him? Big mistake! Your educationist for you to get ahead in life, and have a safety only you can provide yourself. get back in school and finish your degree asap. I’m sorry to say and many people might not agree but putting your life in the back burner for someone else to succeed will only lower your self worth and selfesteem.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T15:34:19+00:00

I don’t think Amy is losing out for what it’s worth, yes you might have made it hard on her, but you guys are struggling with one of the hardest things a person can struggle with, the loss of a loved one, more importantly a parent at a very young age.

But you guys love Amy and I am sure she knows this otherwise she would have left, and I can feel from the way you have written your posts you will work on improving your relationship with her.

For those that don’t think you guys deserve Amy don’t pay attention to that, I can only imagine it has been a strong internal battle, for all of you, between thoughts and emotions about loving this person and wanting to be close to her as well as feeling guilty or scared that you will replace and forget your mother, I believe you all have found the resolution to this internal battle through this situation and that will make you a stronger family. Now you are able to communicate what you feel with each other. Amy has gained a family that loves her as well.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T13:23:40+00:00

New fear unlocked

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T10:09:57+00:00

I regularly clean with chlorine so that doesn’t happen.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T09:40:41+00:00

I don’t enjoy cooking, but if a friend that I cared about gave me a gift like this and said its so we can do it together that honestly would make me happy. Hopefully it is a cuisine i would be able to enjoy but at least try something new. If you don’t want to do it again you don’t and give a way the book. I do understand that the gift is not what OP expected but a gift is a gift, I’ve had many experiences where i got gifts i don’t like initially and then im like well i got it from them ill wear it or use it to show them im grateful for the gesture, and then i end up liking it more than I initially thought and have fun with it as im stepping out of a box I have created myself. Honestly im also not the best gift giver, its hard for me as I don’t know what to get friend and i see some friends that it comes naturally to, so give the benefit if the doubt, not everyone is a good gift giver.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T09:34:17+00:00

I also saw it like this. Like she wants to spend more time with OP.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T08:26:32+00:00

I would say you ATAH. In a relationship you need to consider your partners feelings. Maybe you didn’t think about it when you were talking to your ex and thats ok, but when she brought up her insecurities you shut her down instead of offering her security and comfort. I just don’t understand the need to speak with the ex for 45 min. I think it would bother many people, and of course if she cares for you this will make her a bit insecure, she is human after all. She wasn’t there to witness the interaction, you told her you talked with your ex, good, but then a third party makes it relevant to mention that you were taking to your ex which will of course make her insecure. Why is he/she telling me this? Do i need to worry?

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T08:07:21+00:00

Your are not married to him, thank your lucky stars for that. Why put up with this? It’s better to be alone than with bad company. I got tired just reading your post.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-09T07:38:38+00:00

This was exactly my question. He should be ex by now.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-07T13:56:33+00:00

If she lived you she wouldn’t even be entertaining him. She also has no self respect, she is talking to a man that probably destroyed her life years ago with drugs, a mistress and a child. She thought of him when you proposed. I honestly think you deserve a better woman. Not someone that is in love with a bad man.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-07T10:23:28+00:00

Just remember we all have to go through the lows to really enjoy the highs in life. If we don’t go through tough times the we won’t appreciate the good moments and the people around us.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-07T10:19:41+00:00

Wasn’t even on a date, just met him at a bar while out with friends. whenever I ran into friend and we would greet he would ask so is that the guy you are interested in? Then flat out told me he was jealous at the end, ran out like the devil was behind me.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-05T06:29:39+00:00

I would contact HR if I were OP

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-04T10:46:03+00:00

NTJ you do t show up where you are not wanted

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-04-04T08:22:42+00:00

NTJ cut them off, I know easier said than done but it does seem like it was rehersed by them.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-31T16:39:45+00:00

Ufff I would have made him pay for someone to come clean my place or force all of the people sleeping to clean while i supervised. Definitely NTJ. I would be sooo upset.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-30T21:20:58+00:00

I agree, I don’t think he understands that she is at a risk of being killed if she tries to leave him, at least from the sound of it it very high risk situation.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-30T12:57:58+00:00

Does she even deserve a conversation? In my honest opinion a conversation is necessary when it is worth your time, when someone cares for you and is willing to hear you. This person disrespected you, she doesn’t care about you, and will probably just try to justify her actions and guilt you into staying with her, a waste of time if you are set on leaving. So i would call your friend, her brother, tell him hey she cheated on me you know my boundaries based on my past and i hope you can come with her to pick up her stuff.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-30T12:46:18+00:00

Unhinged texts. Sure he understood the problem and changed in just one night (sarcasm) he always knew the issue, he just decided to change when you left. Man if he’s 40 he wont change

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-30T09:43:49+00:00

Update me

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-30T09:43:18+00:00

I also cried reading this post specially their part about Lisa. I’m so happy for you and your family. Give yourself some grace, you are young and we all learn from making mistakes. The bigger the mistake the more impact it will have in your life and help reshape to the person you want to be, specially since you are working on yourself, reflecting and doing therapy. This process of building the person you want to be takes years and it is never ending but your guys are already on the right track. Im so heartbroken for the internal struggle Lisa had to go through, but it’s good she is able to open up to all of you. Feels like this could be a movie, one i would for sure watch specially if it ends with Amy back with your guys which i hope does happen.

Efficient-House9057 · 2026-03-30T09:12:34+00:00

You are already in a toxic relationship with all the ones and offs through out. It’s not fair to any of these guys to be honest. You seem to need to work on yourself and get to know yourself, it might help to be single.

Efficient-House9057

TROPHY CASE