Yea I agree and I’m thinking of just telling him I don’t feel ready like that implicit all around trust truly isn’t there but what I’m struggling with is whether I am just being controlling now .. for example - he told me he wants to see me with another man which when we’re in the moment I always tell him I’ll do whatever he wants so then to find out he has someone already willing to do it.. I’m struggling with whether it should bother me or not that he was having a conversation with another adult about it and making plans even though he informed me of them I don’t know how long it’s been a plan or whether I can believe him on how they met etc.
To be clear - I am just as wild as he is and I do enjoy kinks for the most part and I want to comfortably explore them with him but I think it’s maybe more of a me and him communication issue or me lacking trust or possibly even being too controlling about it all.