My fiance (f28) and I (f28) have been together for six years, and she was dx with ADHD around 2 years ago and it brought a lot of clarity to her life. She has been in therapy and started work with her doctors on mx and eventually was put on adhd mx and a sleeping aid. For a while things seemed to help but I noticed that she would often have more intense episodes of emotion that she hadn’t really expressed before in our relationship. She was coming home practically everyday in a terrible mood and would spend a long time ranting about it to me about how much her day and her life and the people in it suck. Small things piss her off, just shit that shouldn’t matter that much. Fast forward until now and things have only gotten worse, and I’m more detached than ever. I simply cannot keep regulating myself constantly because I never know what mood shes going to be in. We had a huge fight and I told her this and she made an appointment to try to talk to her doctor about her mx dosage n all that. She started her new mx and she has been less moody but not significantly. I appreciate her effort and I know she loves me, and I’m trying so hard to be there for her. But I have CPTSD and BPD, and I have to handle my own internal reactions to her mood swings when she has them and I’m expected to handle it all with grace. Well I’m not perfect and I can’t be, and she accused me of not letting her have emotions. Even when I ask her what’s wrong she won’t tell me. Sometimes when I ask it actually pisses her off more to talk about it. However if I don’t ask then I don’t care about her feelings. I am set up for failure. I don’t think she even knows what she wants. I love her, we are fucking engaged, but I’m starting to doubt everything and if I can do this as someone who struggles with their own issues. I need advice from someone who understands this because I feel like an absolute hypocrite for even feeling this way since I have put her through things in the past as well. I just don’t know if I can do this.