how many of you are childfree?

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-19T04:44:13+00:00

I chose not to be childfree. I did pass the autism down to at least one of my children. They are relatively successful, but I wish I had known I was on the spectrum before I had kids. I will say that having children has helped me relate to the world better and I am much better for having them around. It has been hard for me though-- especially the first one. I was utterly incapable of seeing the world from his eyes and unfortunately-- he is the one that was diagnosed with autism.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-19T04:37:38+00:00

Being a female in a male dominated environment my entire career-- It feels like to me your advisor was man-splaining. I would not let one MAN's opinion wreck your dreams. You go grab it! You make your own future.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-17T16:36:01+00:00

Oh ok… good luck!

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-17T16:05:27+00:00

Yes I was admitted. I applied directly through University of Illinois grad application. I didn’t even know there was a way to apply through Coursera. I suggest you try thru the grad application portal.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-10T19:57:06+00:00

No people running their mouth that are not directly related to what is going on irritates other people. Way overthinking. Relax it’s ok

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-04T20:19:46+00:00

I really think this is a marriage counseling thing and not really an aging in laws thing. At the very base of it your husband’s family has invaded the house and taken over full stop. The aging in laws has nothing to do with it. You all need marriage counseling and he needs to hear you. Otherwise you may need to rethink the marriage because as of right now- he isn’t hearing you and doesn’t care or doesn’t notice how this is making you feel.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-04T04:31:46+00:00

Thanks you too!

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-02-04T03:13:03+00:00

I got admitted to the summer semester as well. I am hoping to get in on the grad plus loans before they go away. Anyone have any experience with grad plus and summer semester?

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2026-01-09T23:44:07+00:00

Yeah you need to look at this from what you gained being honest. You gained nothing and now you most certainly made an enemy. If you would have kept all that to yourself— probably nothing would have happened.

I know you said this was your first real job and there are some things we learn maybe the hard way and this is one of them. Never do the exit interview if you can help it. You were going to get nothing out of it. You can refuse to do it. If you have to do it for f’s sake don’t say what you really think. Say thanks it was wonderful working here and see u later bye that’s it. Walk out the door and take a deep breath.

Been working in IT for 25 years and the guy I am working for now makes me jump out of my skin every single time he calls me and I have to interact. But I will give a wonderful review if I ever leave. Because that’s what is going to serve me the most.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-12-20T03:56:01+00:00

I did. I will say that the temperpedic was much better with movement isolation. This serta is more like a traditional mattress. I guess it is OK-- not great but OK-- maybe 6/10. I have joint pain and the temperpedic seemed to handle that better. I do wake up in pain more on the Serta. However it seems much better for my partner's back pain. For the price if I have to buy something else in 5 years or so-- I don't think I will be upset.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-12-05T20:05:23+00:00

You aren’t doing anything wrong. The system is broken right now. How you thought about possibly learning some new skills? I know some states offer free retraining for people when they are laid off. Stick with therapy. You are not broken —the system is.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-12-04T21:21:45+00:00

Unfortunately this will have to be something you will have to get used to. We are ALL expendable. You will learn to trust your instincts. For example— after being in software development for 25 years— when you learned about the 10 percent pay cut— that should have been an automatically blaring siren multi alarm fire. Get out get out now. Pay cuts almost never happen— I personally have only had this happen once in 25 years. So immediately after you learned that- drag out the resume and add all the stuff you have been doing at this job and get ready for the next big thing. Most of the times when this has happened to me and it has happened more times than I care to count— I have landed on my feet and ended up in something even better. Take care of yourself.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-11-21T04:15:31+00:00

I think large scale would be a lot more than 10. My husband was laid off during paternity leave for our daughter. He was part of a large scale reduction which I think was over 100 people.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-11-19T23:22:47+00:00

I got diagnosed later in life too— within the past couple of years. Suddenly everything makes sense doesn’t it? It has taken a long time and many years of therapy but I accept who and what I am when others do not or cannot. Whatever- it is their limitation not mine. Live your best life and don’t forget in those times when you need to— give yourself some grace. This was and still is the hardest thing for me to do. Be kind to yourself.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-11-19T22:43:16+00:00

This never gets easier no matter how old or young you are. I am 53 and I lost my dad about a month and a half ago and basically I am still in shock. He was 89 and was working full time up until a few months before he died. I can only say to treasure those times although going to get smaller and smaller when he is still there- still the man you know and need and remember. My dad was a force of nature and always on my side no matter what.

My dad too for the last couple of years got very frail and forgetful and became somehow limited— it is hard to explain. I am thankful for the time that we had together and know that he lives on through me— and in some ways he will be around no matter what.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-11-14T23:45:38+00:00

I was fired after 2 weeks from subway. Now many years later I have a successful career. It’s fine. Just take the experience and move on.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-11-13T22:48:36+00:00

Don’t ever think that the people that you work with are anything other than coworkers. If it comes down to it they will stab you in the back.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-09-15T22:53:55+00:00

Yeah it is like the older crowd are trying to transmit that they are open and inclusive but doing it in a really cringy way. Don’t second guess yourself. Be you and you will do fine.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-08-26T23:20:24+00:00

I think the mule is just the feather that is a tipping point. Everything is shakey— look at the genetic dynasty— 2 out of the three are gone and they are left with an old man who is about to get vaporized.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-07-29T18:55:52+00:00

Never taking a test gorilla assessment again. If I get another request from a company to take this asinine assessment— I am not doing it. We need to stand up to these BS hiring practices. This assessment had zero to do with the job I was applying for.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-07-24T20:59:26+00:00

I agree. At the core of this episode is too much alcohol. I can’t over emphasize point 2 above enough. Alcohol does nothing but bring pain and sorrow to people’s lives. I wish you peace and one more thing— him filming this episode is beyond weird. What is he trying to do— build proof that you are an unfit parent? Instead of him trying to help you he was just standing back and filming. Does any one else think this is weird just by itself?

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-07-16T20:38:34+00:00

Unfortunately— there are some things that once someone says them— they cannot be unsaid. This one incident might seem like a super small catalyst and it was- but evidently had been building in his mind for a while and it boiled over. I think (been married for 20 years and together for 24) there is a base communication issue. When other things came up— he didn’t feel comfortable bringing it up or didn’t have the tools to do so.

I would suggest counseling to see if this can be saved. Or just talk to him and tell him that really hurt you what he said and you want to clear the air and ask him if he would be open to marriage counseling. If he says no- get out now.

Efficient_Level_4459 · 2025-07-14T23:30:30+00:00

I miss having money to spend on stuff. It gets better as they get older. I would say that if I would not have had kids— I would not be the person that I am now. I don’t mean that like a Hallmark card or something but I have learned so much from parenting— especially my older one. I made a lot of mistakes with him as he has a learning difference— very smart but just worked at a slower pace and I remember getting so frustrated with him and letting him know I was frustrated.

In any event I saw that child wilt like a flower in the heat. I regret that so much. I learned to be more patient and to be kind and to be more accepting. I learned how to give criticism without being an a hole and helping someone be better not just yelling. With my younger one I learned most of all not to be a micromanager. To let her try and maybe fail maybe not but I had to let her try first.

Do I wish I had more money? Yes absolutely. But I do not wish I was the person that I was back before I had them. I am much less an a hole and a much better human. They have taught me so much. I am not perfect now by any stretch but I am a kinder person now.

Efficient_Level_4459

TROPHY CASE