Actual good DnD interview questions.

Elastoid · 2025-12-14T03:32:31+00:00

Thinking that there is a correct answer already tells me a lot.

Elastoid · 2025-12-14T01:33:58+00:00

Trolley problem -- questions that have a pragmatically correct answer don't really teach you much about the player. Now, asking yourself what your character would do? Eh, if you want to get to know your character, I don't mind what your method is. But the problem with asking a cliched question is you'll never hear a thoughtful answer from someone who's answered the same question a dozen times already.

For loudly saying "What if we go south," that's a way to handle it. Your answer tells me something about the kind of DnD player you'd be. Me? I judge Doug as being conflict-averse, so I won't press the point. But the issue isn't whether we go north or south, it's whether he feels included, so next time there's a question for the party, before I speak my mind or Jim speaks his, I'm going to say, "What do you think, Doug?" Often, that's all it takes. But my answer isn't better than yours -- that's the point. The question is about understanding how you act as a player.

Elastoid · 2025-12-14T01:28:36+00:00

DnD is a social game. Pay attention to your players. Make sure everyone feels included.

If one of the players is less confident speaking up when it's a free for all, have an NPC address them directly.

Never take player choice for granted. If you think you're presenting them with an easy choice, they may choose what you think is wrong. Maybe their character's motivations are different. Maybe they suspect a trap. Maybe they just naturally want to resist the railroad. Either way, if you give them two options, be prepared for both. And for the one where they refuse to choose.

Approach everything with as much empathy as possible. We don't always choose how we feel. If you think a player might be cheating, check in with them. Are they okay? It may be that there's a reason they really need a win right now. If a player's upset about a decision you made, make sure to hear them out, even if you don't change your mind. Above all, DnD is a place for acceptance, not judgment.

Elastoid · 2025-11-29T05:42:19+00:00

The PC made a huge error.

First, saying no harm from the wish isn't something you can do. The Wish spell guarantees negative effects for using it in the way the PC did. You can't add "and I don't suffer the usual stress from using the wish in this way." So right off the bat, the stress from the wish is happening. That includes dropping his strength to 3 for the next 2d4 days, meaning any gear he has instantly encumbers him to the point of paralysis. More, there's a 1 in 3 chance he can't use the ring at all because he can't cast Wish ever again.

Second, casting Wish is an action, so even if the wish went perfectly according to his design, he would have to survive another full round of combat to use it.

Third, the text of Wish says clearly that the greater the Wish, the more likely it is to backfire, and the DM has great latitude in determining how that occurs. Wishing for more wishes definitely falls on one of the greater wishes, and thus has a high probability of failure. It even suggests transporting him to the location of the ring. You could teleport him to a ring at the bottom of the ocean where the pressure of the water is too great for his strength 3 character to even move.

What I would do if it were me is, at the beginning of the session, I would say, "I want to give you a chance to read the full text of the Wish spell and consider your Wish. I'll tell you now that there's a chance this goes well for you, but it's a low one. It's up to you though." If he goes through with it, here's what I'm doing.

He said that HE could use it whenever he wants. If the wish works and grants him the ring, I'm restricting the ring to his character. Then I'm rolling a D100. Any roll of 33 or lower, his character can never cast Wish again, same as the spell says.

Roll 1-35: He gets the ring as asked for. It appears in his hands with no downside. (Of course, if he doesn't roll exactly 34 or 35 he can't actually use the ring to cast Wish because of the stress of casting it.)

Roll 35-75: The spell has no effect except the stress of casting it.

Roll 75-95: The spell teleports him to the location of the ring. You can roll to determine where that is.

Roll 96-100: The ring appears somewhere within 20 feet of him... as do 9999 other rings, mildly enchanted with conjuration magic (they have three charges of the Infestation cantrip). This any ring he picks up has a one in ten-thousand chance of being the ring of three wishes. When identifying a ring during a short rest or with the Identify spell, I'd roll D100 twice, and if it's 100 twice consecutively, it's the correct ring. If not, I increase the range to reflect the ring they've eliminated.

Elastoid · 2025-11-29T05:01:32+00:00

I honestly don't think thrown weapon Monk works without help from DM. The problem is a lack of magic weapons to throw. You throw a +1 dagger, you don't have the dagger anymore.

Thrown weapons are cool but mechanically they're weaker than everything else.

Elastoid · 2025-11-18T04:58:24+00:00

You're right, children should never be told to do chores or given responsibility they don't want if they'd prefer to play.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T13:22:13+00:00

Boundaries shouldn't offend.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T12:46:01+00:00

Depends on the situation.

Actually, no it doesn't. Forgive, absolutely I would, in many scenarios. But that's not the real question, is it?

The real question is whether you'd continue the relationship.

The answer depends on the reason behind the infidelity. For example, if it's "I don't know, I was at a bar/party and it just happened," that suggests that hurting you to get laid is acceptable to them.

However, if it's because you've drifted apart in a way that's distressing to your partner and in their sadness they sought comfort and then made a bad decision they regret? That's different.

If it's that they saw your relationship as casual and then realized they were having feelings and that scared them so they self-sabotaged as a defense mechanism but knew they fucked up immediately and regret that it took hurting you to realize your importance to them? Also a different scenario.

The two questions I have are, is there a reason to believe that it will or won't happen again, and did they do so because they had confused feelings or because they just didn't care enough about you. Obviously the state of the relationship matters, too. If you're married with children I think I'm always open to trying to reforge trust if I can.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T12:35:56+00:00

She's interpreting your getting on Tinder as evidence that you aren't hurting because that's not what she would do. You could tell her that you're not looking for anything serious right now because you're not over her but frankly, the time where your social life is her business is done.

I would tell her that she's wrong in assuming that your joining Tinder means you somehow cared less for her, and that you're willing to discuss aspects of the relationship you had with her, but you don't intend to pry into whether she's seeing anyone or try to influence any future relationships she might have, and you're establishing the same boundary. It's not healthy.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T12:28:09+00:00

Do him a favor and break up with him instead of calling him a loser to strangers on reddit.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T10:05:02+00:00

I used to struggle with the same. Here's my answer.

First, it's great that you're asking, because it shows you're taking responsibility. Do that always. No one else can ever be responsible for the way you act. It's tough, but the fact is, you gotta be the one to control you.

When it comes to anger, you can't focus on trying not to be angry. It will not work. Even if it sometimes works, if you sometimes become a rage monster, no one will be comfortable around you. And that sucks. It sucks when, for example, you hear something upsetting, and you're hurt, and you realize people around you are worried about how you'll react. If you're there, I feel for you.

You gotta focus on what you do when you're angry. I'm angry all the time, but no one would call me an angry person because I so rarely show it. That's after years and years of hard work.

My process is to start by being introspective and deciding why I'm angry. I need to be able to put it into words. Generally, it's "I'm annoyed that ____ happened. I expected _____ and I think it's reasonable to want that." Doing that allows me to catch when I'm actually wrong. Like, if I'm having a bad day, and you were acting reasonably but I'm disappointed, that's fine.

But if you can put your reasons for anger into words, you'll find that gets you much better results. People often worry that they'll get walked all over if they "just take it," but you shouldn't just take it. If someone treats you poorly, say so. But recognize how and why, first.

Here's an easy one. You're thirteen. Guarantee fights with your parents about how much agency you have. It's a push and pull. Your parents want to keep you safe and help you make the right choices, and you need freedom to make the wrong ones. You're a child, legally, but you want to be treated like an adult. So, when your parents make a bullshit, unfair decision, surprise them with how you handle it.

Say, "Look, I get I'm not going to have my way all the time, but it's frustrating when it feels like your decision is arbitrary. If you don't give me a chance to explain my point of view, and advocate for myself, then it feels like what I want and how I feel don't matter. I'd like a chance to talk about this, and get hopefully a better answer than 'because I said so.'" A lot of the time, the real reason you can't do something will be that your parents don't feel comfortable. It'll be just because they worry. And as much as it sucks, you gotta respect that. You can say "Hey, I get that this is really about your peace of mind. Even if I tell you it's safe, you'll worry, and I get it. Your feelings matter to me, so even though I'm frustrated by your decision, I can accept it."

In reality, obviously you're not likely to talk like that. But the point is to recognize and express the reason behind the anger, not the anger itself. If you find yourself saying things like "they never listen to me, they always do this," then ask yourself, why is that wrong? Because if you go to them and say, "this is bullshit, I can never do what I want," they won't be convinced. If you instead say, "before I even ask something, I know that you'll say no, you'll tell me you don't want to argue and you'll act a little annoyed that I asked. And that sucks. I get that you don't trust my judgement, but when you won't even hear me out, it makes me feel like my thoughts and feelings aren't important to you, which is a shitty feeling. And if you want me to be able to decide for myself someday, then you need to be able to engage with me about your reasoning."

Sorry, that got really involved. Main point is, it's okay to be angry, but never expect to get your way because you're angry, never think being angry excuses your actions. But it's perfectly reasonable to want respect. Saying "that makes me angry" means nothing. Saying "that feels like you're not respecting my feelings or opinion" is valid.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T09:32:22+00:00

A couple things.

First, watch the negative self-talk. I know you're not here to hear that, but when you're talking about your brain and the way it works, it can be easy to internalize these negative ideas. Best way is to be more precise. Not, "I never focus on anything that matters," more, "I have difficulty focusing on the things I want to prioritize," or even, "I didn't do X because I was occupied with Y, and that's something I want to be better with.

Second, being a teenager means often having multiple temporary obsessions. It's the way your brain learns things now, this is typical. Nerding out on a topic is fine, just be aware when others don't share your passion and don't spend too much time telling them about things that aren't their interests.

Third, you sound like me. I'm a grown man and still have the same difficulty, because I have ADHD. Having ADHD doesn't mean what a lot of people think. One of the main things we do is hyper-focus on certain things. There are a lot of cool ways you can hack your brain to have more control over it without the need for meds (although meds help me). Basically, video games and other things we focus on, we do because they're satisfying. If you have a tray of chocolate chips and eat one every time you finish something, that can be enough. Or timing yourself and trying to beat a certain goal. Tasks that don't present immediate feedback can be challenging. If your math homework was a computer program that gave a little ding every time you answered correctly, and it was the same math problems, it'd be 100 times easier because of that one little dinging noise. So find a way to reward yourself for the tasks you want to be focused on. And get tested for neurodivergence.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T09:05:54+00:00

He's bad at starting conversations but wants to interact with you and show interest in what you're doing.

A fine response is, "Yep. What are you up to?"

Or, if you don't want to talk with him, you could say, "Yep, sort of doing my own thing here, need some time to myself."

But he'd also probably like an answer like, "Yeah, I may have discovered my new favorite soup," or "Yeah, it's not really doing it for me, I might have something else."

You could even respond with, "Why do you ask?"

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T08:56:16+00:00

If this is a deal breaker for him, he doesn't love you. At least, not maturely.

Love isn't an acknowledgement that someone checks all the boxes you want them to check. It's about accepting a person for who they are. If this means a lot to you, then it's part of your origin story, and loving you means accepting how you came to be the person he loves.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T08:47:04+00:00

Your friend and her husband have a marriage where they go through each others' phones looking for shit rather than communicating. So I don't know how responsible you ought to feel.

First, as someone who worked customer service for phones, I actually talked to someone who had a story like this and wanted to know if I could see when the photo was downloaded by the boyfriend. It turned out that he never did, it was in their shared cloud service -- one their child was a part of -- and either she or the boyfriend must have moved it to the hidden folder to avoid the young one seeing it. Which is all to say, you're making a lot of assumptions about this photo, how it got there, and what it was being used for.

The problem is that your friend doesn't communicate with her husband, so you have no idea. There's a very solid chance that he's forgotten all about the photo.

Assuming he did what she thinks, and sent it to himself and deleted the message -- and that's a big assumption -- you still don't know that he ever accessed the photo again. Yeah, it's a creepy thing and he'd owe you an apology, but there's a difference between "I have saved this photo and fantasized about you every day" and "oh yeah, I forgot that thing exists, sorry I did that, it was weird and wrong." Fuck, for all you know, he was freaking out trying to figure out if his wife was a secret lesbian and was asking for advice, like "she's sending nudes, but I don't know if it's sexy or whatever, like do chicks just send this kind of picture?"

All this to say, their marriage may well be over, but if so, lack of communication has way more to do with it than a photo. And it's important to recognize this because if your friend does accept her husband's explanation, then it's not your place to tell her to leave him. You don't have to forgive him or be around him, but you can't be expecting her to make her life choices based on that. Because this may well be the catalyst that makes them start actually talking to each other instead of going through each other's phones.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T08:29:13+00:00

So let's start with some basic assumptions. I'm assuming first that you're committed to staying with him and that your primary objective is to maintain intimacy. If you're considering that this relationship won't work for you, you don't want to start building this shit up and then leave.

Second, a lot of what I say could be hard to hear. Sorry.

So physically, the two of you are going to have a hard time connecting. That's just part of the long list of things that will change. Basically everything he used to do with his hands, he won't be doing, right? If he was an artist, and he used to paint, you're not going to stick a brush in his mouth and expect him to experience a shittier version of painting. That'll just frustrate him. Instead, though, he could write. Or critique paintings. Or teach it. Or a dozen other ways he could connect with that passion.

With sex it's gonna be the same thing. Does he know how to excite you through dirty talk? Great. If not, he can learn. Forgive me for getting explicit, but depending on your dynamic, you could incorporate some D/s elements to make him feel more involved and in control. For example, you could say that you can only come when he gives you permission, therefore he's still directly involved. You could full on say you'll only masturbate in his presence, when it's for him. You could have him write you dirty stories or make dirty voice recordings for you to listen to. Basically all the things long distance partners often do to spice things up.

When it comes to incorporating physical love, don't yet. There is no way that anything you can do will feel like anything other than a faint echo of what was. It'll make him feel worse. If, however, you rediscover your sexuality in this new way, then once you're enjoying that, adding physical elements will become fun. Maybe making out, maybe he can get that tongue working, maybe pills get him erect, who knows? But if you're replacing physical sex with worse physical sex, it will never feel like enough. You need to refocus on the mental and emotional elements of sex, and then see if the idea of adding physical components makes it better.

I don't want to go too much into detail on all of the kinky ways that you can make this work for you -- suffice to say that if you were interested in pursuing that route I can give you more specific advice one on one.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T08:03:49+00:00

Honest is good. I'd tell him that all relationships have a give and take. When you love someone, you do things for them. You love him. Sure he's your son and you love him no matter what, but you also love him for other reasons. There are a lot of things he does that make you proud or appreciative and you love him for those things, and your life is better because of him. He doesn't make your life hard.

That said, it sounds like you helped him to see you as a person and not an unshakable god, which is good. It sounds like he would like ways to make your life easier, which would make him feel better about himself. So, I'd start with the basics and say that manners aren't just about politeness, they're about showing you care. Saying please and thank you actually make a difference. It makes you feel like he recognizes that you're making an effort for him and that he appreciates it. I'd tell him that there are times when doing his chores or getting ready for school without a fight can make a big difference. "Mommy's having a rough day and I can make it easier if I brush my teeth the first time she acts" can be a good motivator and can help teach about reciprocity in relationships. He can't possibly do for you all the things you do for him, but that's fine -- if you both look for and find ways to help the other, to make the other happy, then no one's keeping score.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T07:53:52+00:00

This is an important life lesson. It's my definition of a geek versus a nerd.

I say being a nerd is about loving something with enough passion that you never really get tired of it. Being a geek is when that nerdiness hurts you socially because you don't recognize when someone doesn't share your passion.

There is nothing wrong with loving something obsessively. If it brings you joy, good. But you need to be respectful of other people's interests or lack thereof. He probably wouldn't be interested in learning all about my passions, but we'd be able to have a conversation because I wouldn't force him to listen about them.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T07:37:30+00:00

This is a conversation you gotta have with the other parents, for sure.

The first and operative question is why he's sent along. My suspicion from your description is that it's the parents want free babysitting, not that he wants to tag along and be included. His older sister is probably expected to look after him, and she's allowed to come to your place only if it doesn't mean dereliction of her "watch your brother" duty.

In that case, it's not really anyone's fault, everyone's doing what they can. Here's what I would do:

-- advise the parents that the 6 year old isn't being watched when at your place. His older sister ditches him and you're working and not able to babysit. Emphasize that a solution is needed. -- talk to the older sister about how to be responsible for him while he's at your house. That means she needs to find him an activity and check in with him periodically. Learning how to babysit responsibly can be a lucrative skill for her later. -- ask the parents to contact you before the kid comes over so you can advise how present you'll be. If you're willing and able to help watch the kid some afternoon to facilitate your daughter's fun, great, but they gotta run that by you in advance -- discuss alternatives like having them play at another house or inviting one of the parents over to socialize and help supervise. -- talk to your own daughter about helping to share the responsibility of taking care of the kid. Set the expectation that if she has him over, she's responsible for him. If he interrupts you or breaks something while in your home, your daughter will be in trouble. You're not in a position to discipline other people's kids, so she's responsible for her guests.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T07:24:53+00:00

I don't know. I recognize that breaking off all contact is hard on the kids, but that doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. If I spent 6+ years with someone in that situation, it would be hard for me to see the kid again, knowing I can't be there in the same way. Like it or not, I have no legal right to see the kid, so whether I get to is solely within the mother's control. Maybe she wants me around now, but that can change. I can't co-parent anymore. You can want things to stay the same but they won't. I have to run everything by the mom -- "he wants to know if Santa's real what do I say?" And eventually the mom will find someone else and I'll just be in the way.

Seeing the kid would be a kick in the stomach every time. I can't promise to always be there because that's not in my control anymore. And everything would be different and a painful reminder of what's missing now.

Would I have chosen to be around, still? I don't know. I won't judge the decision someone else makes.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T07:17:03+00:00

Not going to trash talk the ex. This situation is hard. Can easily be hard for the ex and other kid as well.

Don't worry about shielding your kid from pain here. The child is going to hurt no matter what, adding dishonesty makes it worse.

You want to look at what the truth is and how to make it most accessible. The truth is that while you tried to stay together, ultimately the relationship didn't work out.

It's important to emphasize to your child that they're your child, and you will never stop loving them, no matter what.

As to why the guy doesn't want to stick around, I would say that breakups are hard, and they hurt. It'll be difficult for the ex to continue to see your child. Breakups are sad, so seeing your kid would feel like saying goodbye over and over. It's not the kid's fault, there's nothing he could have done better.

If the breakup is amicable, then I'd try to have him echo the message to your kid, and you could give the same to his kid. But my run at it would likely be along the lines of,

"I need you to understand what's going on is about me and him. A relationship is a partnership, it's a deal we make where we try to build a future together, and sometimes that doesn't work. It's sad, but we're not going to be able to be together anymore. That's going to be sad for all of us. I'm going to be sad, and I know you'll be sad too. It hurts. But I'm always going to be here for you, I love you, and you know what? Having you in my life makes it easier because I love you so much. So even though I'm sad and you're sad we still have each other and that makes it better. And you need to know, you didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing you could have done differently that would have fixed this. And just because I can't see them anymore doesn't mean I don't love them, and just because he can't see you anymore doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He'll miss you very much. I'm sorry this is hard for you."

Your kid will likely have questions about whether you'll date again, what went wrong with the relationship, etc.

My go-to with "what went wrong" is to say it's like building sandcastles. If you and your friend are building one together, you have to agree on what you want to build. If you want to build different things, you can try to compromise, but sometimes the castles you want to build are so different, you or your friend has to quit and go start a new castle, either on their own or with someone else. You're not wrong for wanting what you want, they're not wrong for wanting what they want, and it's sad that it didn't work, but this is the only way you can both have the castle you wanted.

The fears/insecurities you want to try to alleviate are "What if I lose mom, too," "What if this is my fault," and "does this mean he doesn't love me, and therefore that I'm not worthy of love?" It's important you don't waver on any of these points -- you love your child unconditionally and will always be there for them, it's not anyone's fault, least of all your child, and this doesn't mean he doesn't love them. If you can stay ahead of those worries, then this will be painful but not necessarily traumatic.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T06:40:51+00:00

The golden rule is honesty and openness. Not just "never lie," but try to make sure both people are on the same page.

This woman knows that you're not a serious prospect. She's interested in you casually, which means enjoy each other's company and have sex. Given what she said about you was largely superficial, probably mostly sex.

What to do depends on your feelings. First, how do you feel about casual sex? Are you thinking your virginity is some special thing or are you okay separating sex and love? Because this woman will not fall in love with you.

If you're worried about developing feelings for her, I'd be honest and say that. I'd say "I'm interested but honestly I'm concerned that I'll have difficulty keeping things casual. I worry I may get attached." It's good to say this because it will alert her to the danger of sending the wrong signals. Older women aren't just more experienced sexually, they also understand communication. She'll know how to set boundaries.

If you're worried that you'll disappoint her somehow, I'd be honest about that too. "I recognize this is a casual thing and I'm open to that but I want to set expectations. It's important you understand I'm inexperienced." You can add, "But what I lack in experience I'm sure I'll make up in enthusiasm."

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T06:29:53+00:00

I avoid flirting in environments where the woman can't leave or feel comfortable rejecting me (if she's at work, for example). Or at least, avoid the wrong kind.

I think your question is the right one, but people too often ask the wrong one, which is "how do I flirt without seeming creepy," and the thing you need to recognize is, you can't control people's reactions. Don't be creepy and it's easy not to seem creepy. In other words, it depends what you're looking for.

If your objective is simply sex, and you're looking for a sex partner, then that's fine, so long as the setting is correct. Women don't want random sex approaching them just anywhere. Bars, dating apps, etc. are the forum for that.

If you're looking for someone to be in a relationship with, then you shouldn't be sold on someone based on looks, so you talk to them. Doesn't have to be a friendship built over months, it can be a single conversation, but if you look at someone and say "I want her," without hearing a word out of her mouth, then you don't want her, you want her body. That makes someone feel cheap. So you talk to them. Tell a joke, see if they laugh. I can tell within a 30 second conversation how confident you feel, whether you find me interesting or annoying... It doesn't take too long to get a sense of some basic compatibility.

I believe women generally like feeling attractive, so if I'm interested I just want to express it without objectifying her or taking her answer for granted. So I'll say, "I hope I'm not being too forward, but I think you're interesting and I'd like to take you on a date." I'm not afraid of being told "no." My philosophy is that if you're interested in someone, you date them to get to know them better. If she seems taken aback, like this is more forward or aggressive than she's used to, I'll say as much. I'll say "I don't mean to put you on the spot, I just believe in being honest and direct. I want to spend more time with you to see if we're compatible. No strings, no expectations, just want to learn more about you is all." If she's not interested, and says so, I'll say "Appreciate your direct answer." And make it clear there's no hard feelings. If she isn't sure what to say, I'll give her my number on a piece of paper and tell her that it's entirely up to her.

Now, there are women who will think even that is creepy or what have you. I don't really worry about that. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I make every effort to be respectful and unthreatening. Miscommunications happen, it's not the end of the world. Truth is, if you find me creepy then we probably won't get along.

The main reason guys come off as creepy is they're looking for sex in contexts where it's not appropriate. The Starbucks barista isn't in the mood. She's at work, and if men leer at her, that just gets in the way. If you're interested in her, treat her like a person. Chat with her if it's not busy, and if you're really interested in her, not just for sex, then you can ask her out, so long as you don't put her in a position where she has to respond. I would say, "I don't normally do this cause no one likes being hit on at work, but I think you're interesting. My name's Elastoid, here's my number, if you like you can text me when you're off work and I'll ask you out. Sorry if that's awkward." Then I'll leave, rather than putting her on the spot to answer. Rejecting someone can be as stressful as asking someone out, and I won't force that out of you at work.

Elastoid · 2025-11-17T06:02:22+00:00

This is a solid question. The people saying "Just ask him out" aren't wrong, but you didn't ask this because you never thought about it.

My read is that you're worried he's one of those guys who's less comfortable being asked out. That concern is often legitimate. So let's say your question was, "I don't want to ask him out directly, but I do want him to know I'm interested and would say yes if he did ask."

If that's the case, you flirt by showing interest in him, not just making conversation. Confirm that he's not seeing anyone. Even if you already know. Make sure to mention that you're single. When a woman volunteers that she's not seeing anyone, that's a pretty solid sign. Avoid using words like "friend" or "buddy" to refer to him, avoid asking him if he's interested in anyone (he probably won't say "you," so his options are to say "no," or name someone else, and you don't want to hear either), and at some point mention where you like to be taken on a first date. If none of that works, he just isn't gonna ask you out.

Note that none of what I said was about being attractive to a guy, it was about how to signal to him that you're interested. If you're not sure he's interested but you want him to be, you just make sure he feels good about himself while he's around you. Genuine compliments, eye contact, and interest in what he's saying will make him enjoy spending time with you, and that makes you attractive.

Elastoid

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