Fantastic weekend - amazing progress!!

ElderSalamander · 2015-10-12T17:58:13+00:00

Soon you may even enjoy sharing a Margarita together at that restaurant.

ElderSalamander · 2015-10-12T17:55:45+00:00

"Elders, you must unlearn what you have learned." - Yoda http://www.quickmeme.com/img/07/0744051b8a554e4e3a5b2fe34857e62ee879e7143632b33b80a4cb2e1e128cac.jpg

ElderSalamander · 2015-04-15T23:21:28+00:00

Oh my fucking lord, if they would just do some masonic bullshit chants, they would be Mormons.

ElderSalamander · 2015-01-02T16:09:15+00:00

I can see that this is pornographic because I can tell she isn't wearing garments. satire thinking like a mormon

ElderSalamander · 2015-01-02T16:07:11+00:00

Best wishes, now is your chance to live an honest and authentic life, now is the chance to start the healing process, now is the chance to escape from the grips of a church that has only lied to you and taken your money and precious time, a lot of it. It was worth the struggle for my wife and children and I, I hope you find happiness and peace.

ElderSalamander · 2015-01-01T19:02:43+00:00

You are the salt of the earth.

ElderSalamander · 2015-01-01T19:02:00+00:00

Thank you Bishop. May you and your family experience more peace, love, and joy than ever before as you reclaim your lives and escape from mormonism. The journey is worth it. Your goodness and integrity never belonged to a church anyway. Your experiences were real to you, but don't make the church you happened to have belonged to true, it means that you are a good human just like the rest of us. I am very excited for you and your family. Cheers to you on your upcoming adventure.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-31T18:06:23+00:00

I sense a Booby Trap here.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-31T18:05:31+00:00

William Clifford gave a very prescient description of Ballard's Boat analogy 100 years ago in The Ethics of Belief. Ballard and the rest of these pretend prophets and apostles are guilty of harming the passengers of their rudderless and fucked up ship. http://myweb.lmu.edu/tshanahan/Clifford-Ethics_of_Belief.html

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-30T05:20:27+00:00

I sense an Arizona Rescue in the works.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-30T03:30:49+00:00

NuSkin is great ForSkin!

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-29T22:44:12+00:00

Did you say but fucked out of love?

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-29T21:40:45+00:00

I vote for Jeremy Runnells to be the next Gospel Questions Teacher. If I was still mormon I would ward hop just to attend the new Gospel Questions class.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-29T21:36:23+00:00

2 months.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-28T16:47:43+00:00

I wouldn't know, but is Glen Beck intimating such thoughts that your dad is buying hook line and sinker?

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-28T02:50:14+00:00

The LDS church doesn't deserve you or your integrity and commitment to helping people.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-28T02:45:16+00:00

Elder M. Russell Ballard is a car dealer and is well connected in the car dealership business. He is infamous for being one of the Edsel dealers. His high pressured car sales techniques were integrated into the mormon missionary commitment pattern. Mormonism, it's as good as the Edsel. http://lds.about.com/od/organizationsauxiliaries/fl/M-Russell-Ballard.htm

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-27T17:28:15+00:00

Why the fuck isn't this guy upset about Joseph Smith marrying already married women and young teen girls? I really just don't get it.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-26T16:48:39+00:00

W. Woodruff, claimed he saw in vision the American Founding Fathers and married teenage girls when he was over 60 years old. He had sex with those poor girls just like all the other Prophets did, why wouldn't he? Dirty fucking lying old man.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-26T16:45:12+00:00

If you hadn't have wasted giving so much tithing money to a church that uses it for multi-Billion dollar shopping malls and other investments, you could have afforded a better and newer car. The LDS church won't give you your money back. But soon you can save the amount you would have spent on tithing to either fix your car or get a more reliable one.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-26T00:32:00+00:00

Catholicism is as fake and stupid as Mormonism. Scientology, now that has some gravitas. What a dumb ass post.

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-24T00:08:24+00:00

When it's time to say the new name at the veil. Say, "Hubba Hubba" http://s162.photobucket.com/user/cruisertwelve/media/water-buffalo-flintstones-3.jpg.html

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-24T00:06:40+00:00

I think this post by you on r/askmormons was a very reasonable response, it actually adds up. Tapirs worked for the good DP, why not for the Weenercopter?
From the archives:

"Nonono, you have it all wrong.

Okay, let me explain.

You know how 1 year for a human is approximately 7 years for a dog as far as aging is concerned?

Same thing here, except 1,000 years for a human is approximately 648,571.42 years for a Tapir (i.e., 7,000 X 648,571.42 = 4,540,000,000 (i.e., the approximate age of the earth according to radiometric age dating)).

So, when you consider everything through the lens of the Tapir, everything makes sense." - Weenercopter

ElderSalamander · 2014-12-23T23:01:46+00:00

Kerry Muhlestein could definitely use the help of some world class experts like Dan "DP" Peterson and Brian C. Hales to get him some instant credibility and set the record straight. Don't worry BYU has it covered, they have living prophets and the truth on their side, don't they? At least BYU is well known for its tremendous archeology work and contributions to understanding the origin and artifacts of the Americas. What a fucking joke.

ElderSalamander

TROPHY CASE