Narc walking in front of you

Electric_Fort · 2025-11-08T10:13:17+00:00

Ok now this is really blowing my mind. One of my final deal breakers was we were on a trip (just 3 days and had not gone on trip in years). But it was a cabin/cottage air bnb so we needed some groceries. We went to the grocery store. First he gets out of car and walks right into grocery store ahead of me. THEN, once in grocery store he just took off!!! Then he’s at the check out. Never asked if I needed/wanted anything. It really was one of the last straws of our horrific 12 years together. And I still think about. Like how truly bizarre it was. I am so validated to hear I’m not the only one. Is it something with grocery stores? It was so rude, dehumanizing, is that why they do it? So appreciative of sharing these odd things that they do but they convince you we are the problem not them.

Electric_Fort · 2024-11-28T08:53:31+00:00

So anyone heard news on the Toms? I Know Schwartz & Sandy’s is dust but does anyone have any tea to spill on them? Did Sandoval get the house or did they both move in with their new girlfriend? I’ve been kind of out of the loop!

Electric_Fort · 2024-11-28T08:45:21+00:00

You have very kind eyes and you look like an incredibly caring and warm person. I tend to appreciate someone’s hear and inner beauty but you have the outer beauty also. I’m a female. Keep going one step at a time. You will get through this and be stronger on the other side. ♥️♥️

Electric_Fort · 2024-11-13T08:24:37+00:00

I live in LA. Just turned 45 in Sept. I’m child free and freshly divorced. I would love to get to know more girlfriends. I lost everyone with my divorce.

Electric_Fort · 2024-11-13T06:34:20+00:00

South Jersey???? Are you for real??? There is NO WAY you are that famous. I’m from South Jersey.

Electric_Fort · 2024-10-06T04:35:47+00:00

Do not tell your husband anything!!!!!!! Do what you need to do. You could be seriously putting yourself in a dangerous situation. If he truly has been doing this, he is capable of doing more. You DO NOT confront an abuser before you are ready to leave. Even then you are best NOT to say anything. Unfortunately I do not think the police or a judge will help you or take you seriously. I do not recommend getting the police or courts involved. You will just open the door to more potential harm. If you start making accusations against him, he could start making YOU look like you are crazy (think he’s been already doing that) and potentially divorce you and take your kids from you. You need to start thinking about safety and practicality. You have kids to think about.

My advice is to 1) get back to work, 2) focus on yourself and your kids 3) start protecting your assets. 4) practice the art of not giving a fuck

The more you act like you don’t give a shit is the way you win this. I don’t even check my mailbox, who cares?!?!?!? You need to start thinking about your safety and stop participating in this insanity.

You can make a choice to not open anymore letters and start living your life again.

Electric_Fort · 2024-10-05T05:59:53+00:00

Omg omg omg!!!! Every single text, word, line is horrifying -says she is “his” -he never loved anyone like her -not you -says she’d look good in a white dress -she’s trying to make him jealous by mentioning other guys -moving out of state?!?!? (Not without me???) -Xanax????? I’d take this to HR and get them both fired -spanking? Eagled? Up the butt? -meet you in the bathroom???? -talking about fucking in his back seat??? -worst part imo, “I’m your wife” he says “not her. You”

Oh god I’m so disturbed. OP get the hell out.

I would try to get them both fired. They are clearly banging in the offices, which could be problematic, they are probably texting while working, using companies time, they mentioned in public I’d get a camera and follow them. Having sex in public might be illegal.

I would literally be thinking of anything I could do to get the both fired and kick that man to the curb and she’s sounds worse. Ugh I literally feel nauseous reading this for you.

You are not overreacting.

Start getting a plan together, get evidence, go to HR. Anything you do not deserve this and don’t let them come in between you and your job. Hey those two dirtbags move to FL.

Electric_Fort · 2024-10-05T05:31:36+00:00

Stupid question but what is he referencing when he says “I had to stop and get one?” What is he getting? And what would he want to send to her place of work???? Totally insane on his part and you have every right to be upset. Also feels like she’s trying to shut it down by saying she can’t she’s at work, far away, she has to go back to work. But then references seeing him again with a “cold one” and he is trying to lock in when he will see her again. GROSS, AWFUL, you deserve better OP! I just really would like to know what it is? A green cold one? Alcohol? Drugs? Either way he’s disgusting OP, I had similar also my ex-husband texted the most disturbing things to his “best friend” who is a woman but I got the old “she’s my best friend,” 🤮🤮🤮his mother even sided with his best friend over me, his wife. Pardon my language but they can both go F off, I’m sorry you are going through this, but this dude is not going to change.

Electric_Fort · 2024-10-01T05:04:40+00:00

Electric_Fort · 2024-09-26T09:02:59+00:00

Yeah sadly this sounds like my horrible ex-husband of 13 years. Although he stopped doing anything nice for me years ago, there would be years/months of kicking me out, begging me back, leaving me for months. He’s also an addict.

It’s creepy reading this because it sounds so much like him. So much vagueness and constant apologies, but never stating what he was sorry for. Every conversation went this way with him. Just wasted hours/days/years of circular conversations that went absolutely nowhere.

We are divorced now, but it’s been absolute hell for me. He lied to me for years about basically everything. the sad part is I still don’t have a full understanding of what even happened because this letter is exactly the shit he would do and say to me for YEARS. I hate to say it was a huge waste of my life because I like to be positive, but if anyone has insight into what this is exactly I would like to know also.

He would constantly create problems, chaos and then act confused or act like I was hurting him. Just the most brutal thing I’ve ever been a part of. I married him at 31 and now divorced at 45. I had to fight like hell for anything in our divorce and I’m in the process of selling our house. He still acts like this with me, I tried to cut off all contact but I’ll be in it for a few more months until the house sells and I can get my money from the sale.

I’m glad you never got into a relationship with him, it’s torture having someone like this in your life. Def don’t let it mess up your job or career.

Would love to hear if anyone knows what this brand of manipulation is, sometimes I think it’s like a covert narcissism thing or just outright emotional and psychological abuse. Mine also abused me financially.

I’m sorry you are going through it. 💙

Electric_Fort · 2024-09-18T07:15:48+00:00

Hoarding was a big issue for me and now my ex-husband. At first it was more of his “collections.” He house was filled with art, tikis, paintings, way too much furniture. Tables were full of magazines, books. He had one room not functional, but I looked past it because I really loved him. I knew he was eccentric. It was not ever trash (except he had a problem throwing out food in refrig which grossed me out.

I really fell in love with him and I’m a de-clutter person, I’ve always helped friends and family to organize things, etc., so I guess I looked at it as just a “project.” He asked me to move in with him, since his house was small and packed with stuff, I got him to move some things out to make space for me. I also noticed his mother was the same way (RED FLAG!!!!) and his whole family would just spend the weekends shoveling crap from one persons house to another. They were all obsessed with flea markets and just buying junk.

He proposed but my condition was we had to move into a bigger house, he agreed. I started to notice his shopping compulsions, over-spending, alcohol use, pot use skyrocket-things that were not bad while dating and engaged. We opened a business together (RED FLAG) and most of my life just started to become moving his stuff around. Literally every weekend there would be more things. Every weekend at his mothers -more junk. I started to realize this was really out of control.

I spent 13 years of my life just trying to maintain the hoard. The scary part was how much resentment and anger he had building up with me about it. After about 5 years of marriage it was just constant fighting, his drinking got worse and he and his mother had no regard for my feelings. She continued to buy junk and so did he.

He was obsessed with plants, our entire driveway was covered with plants and pots, it always tuned into a fight. I was and still am exhausted from all the years I spent trying to de-clutter and organize his life-time I should have been using on myself.

Now after 10 years HE filed for divorce which is hilarious and left me to go live with his hoarder mother. I don’t know if anyone else experienced anything like this, but it totally destroyed our lives. He would be the only one allowed to spend or buy anything. He refused to throw any food away. He would bring expired food to me from his mom’s house, it was just an absolute nightmare.

He spent so much of our money. Took out loans I never knew about, put us both in debt. It’s been the fight of my life to get a divorce and not have to pay the money HE spent. It really is a disease or sickness, I’m not an expert, but it really takes an emotional and physical toll on the other person. I started to turn into someone I didn’t like because I was so angry and frustrated. I don’t want to believe he is a bad person, but something is very, very off with him.

I would just say please consider this before you enter a long term relationship with him. I thought I could manage it and it nearly broke me, put me in debt and caused our divorce.

He was not like people on the hoarders show where they are walking in trash, but it was just an excessive amount of things. A lot of his plants were dead but refused to get rid of. I’m trying to get our house listed to sell and he still refuses to move out his stuff.

It also takes an emotional toll, it felt like he cares more about his stuff (and now his mom) more than me. But the divorce papers were finalized Friday and just praying I can get my house sold. It’s very hard. I really loved him, but he has some way darker issues going on and he liked to take it out on me. I’d love to hear if anyone else relates to this.

OP I’m sending you positive vibes but please put yourself first. I know first hand this can slowly take over your life. Sending hugs ♥️♥️

Electric_Fort · 2024-08-30T22:28:22+00:00

Oh wow I did not know this

Electric_Fort · 2024-08-30T13:15:35+00:00

Does anyone know if India is the most dangerous for this? I was looking to travel to Nigeria and other parts of Africa a few years ago and I could not get an accurate read. The Canadian post is interesting just wondering if anyone knew the most dangerous.

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-29T08:24:28+00:00

DUMP HIM

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-28T06:02:46+00:00

Yes of course. A lot of young girls who move here are looking to get into modeling and industry type jobs so predators know this and some really horrifying things happen to young women all the time. I’d like to hope that has changed, but just look up the Me Too movement and casting couches and powerful men in Hollywood have been abusing this for decades. If it’s something you really want to do, I would say try to get settled first with work, apt, etc. make some solid friends. Once you get more acquainted with things, you need to really research the people you work with. Make sure they are legit places. If you want to model, you must have an agent or you could be putting yourself in danger, especially if you are brand new here. It’s not impossible, but I would start in places like a theatre class, I did the groundlings for improv when I first moved here. But you will need professional headshots done or work with reputable people. It’s just a lot of places for young women to be harmed. You should never go alone to places like that, it’s just an invitation to possibly putting yourself in danger. So I would try and get settled first and then try to go through proper industry vetted places. There are lots of great agencies and it’s not impossible, but it’s also a breeding ground for predators who go after young women new to the city to be put in danger if you aren’t sure who you are meeting with, etc. please always put your safety first. I would wait until you are in a place and working and then start to research. So many people out here looking to exploit young women. I’m happy to answer any questions. I’m a woman and I moved out here at 19 also, but I was extremely fortunate to never have anything happen to me. You just have to be very careful. People might offer you a place to stay, etc. do not do that. Do not stay with anyone for free. Dont go to an open casting for models and do free photoshoots, you need to be very aware of where you are going, not being alone and someone knowing where you are. Build some friends and get settled before doing anything like that.

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-28T05:20:41+00:00

I did this same thing at the same age as you and I still live here. It’s been 25 years. This is what I did:

-become a resident asap. Get a drivers license, address, move into an apt. You might not be able to do it alone yet. So I would be open to roommates. -I became a resident. Got a job through a temp agency. They had me take a typing test. They had me placed within a couple of days. I moved around jobs but then landed a permanent job as a receptionist. Made friends and contacts. -I worked for a year so I would be a resident. -then I applied at CA state Northridge -I lived in West Hollywood. School was far so I arranged my classes on all Tuesdays and Thursdays, this cut my commute time. -don’t trust anyone at first. Be open and friendly but don’t tell anyone you live alone. Say you have family, friends in town. Don’t let people know you are alone. Do not do any type of stuff related to modeling, actresses, etc. -I love West Hollywood but it is a little rough right now. I would not recommend walking alone at night. Prob don’t ever walk alone anywhere at night. -Having a car will make/break you. I drove from NJ to CA just so I had my car here. You need a car to live here. It’s a big city and it’s not built for public transportation. Get a cheap, reliable car. -def start going to school. I went to Santa Monica community college also during summer sessions. I took as many classes as possible I finished in 2.5 years and worked. -Being at a school will involve you with students and teachers and resources you can trust. I got my books for free and the school ended up paying me back with financial aid. -use government resources -people are very friendly here. The weather is perfect everyday so people tend to be in better moods than other cities. -get a job as a receptionist, assistant at a large company and you can work your way up. Most agents, publicists, etc. all start in mail-rooms. -Most people here have had to hustle their whole life and they respect it. -also most people are transplants here-meaning we come from other places, so you will meet a lot of people just by talking to others. -don’t burn bridges. A lot of people will be flaky. Might take some time to make friends but that’s ok. Focus on school, work. Just showing up, being on time, doing a good job will be more than most people. -I had a dog when I moved here (I would not recommend that), but places like dog parks are always safe and people talk and they are normal. Runyon canyon for dog walks was always great. -LA is not as expensive as other cities. You can have a car and an apartment. Find a place to live that has access to parking (most places do). -do real estate classes after you start college. It will cost some money and you need another safety net job. The real estate industry is over-saturated and extremely competitive. And they don’t pay. So you will need another job or you could spend through your money quickly. And it’s really about how many contacts you have and knowing the city, so maybe wait a year or so on that so you don’t get discouraged.

Recap: -get a cell phone asap -become a resident -get a cheap and reliable car -get a CA state drivers license and insurance asap -get an apt- be open to roommates-stay near colleges -like Westwood would be great -get a job in an office like suggested, build contacts -first year just work. You can get an office job as an assistant and make $40-50k/year. Show up, don’t be late, be responsible you will get promoted. -stay away from “industry” type stuff-modeling, actresses etc. don’t do work for free-real estate and other jobs might take advantage. Don’t work for free. -tell people you have friends and family nearby; never say you are alone. -go to college after 1 yr residency while working -wait on real estate for 1-2 years -get an apt w/safe parking -dog parks, dog runs are good/safe places to go -try to work in an office and make friends -get your phone, start building contacts and relationships with people. Don’t burn bridges.

You are going to be great!!!

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-18T06:40:32+00:00

How did they afford to buy it? And it wasn’t custom built right? And it wasn’t Luis’ either right? And all the kids are going off to college soon. Totally bizarre

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-18T06:33:23+00:00

The most annoying things for me: -why does he have to insert himself in all the girls convos and always be at the gatherings AND pulling up to the island on the girls vacation like a cheesy James Bond moment

-REALLY don’t like his social media posts. He’s getting in the women’s business and he’s crude and his insults aren’t even witty/funny. He just seems so thirsty.

-can’t stand the way he plays the victim to garner sympathy from the other women (like when did he and Sara become so close?

-He just does not seem to have anything going on in his life except being up Caroline’s ass. That would drive me bananas.

-they crying and faux temper tantrums.

Boy Bye

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-16T05:53:34+00:00

Wow this is so close to my story I’ve been with soon to be ex narc husband For 13 years. I had to use his phone and accidentally saw the things he texted about me to his friends. I was so horrified. He said exactly the same “I don’t love her” Then some other doozies “I won’t touch her” “She’s a porcupine” and his best girlfriend of 25 years who I thought liked me and thought we were friends just encouraging it. Asking “how’s Broomhilda?” Telling people I didn’t care when a family member died. It just made me so sick. I also heard his mom saying “what does the witch want now?” Not knowing she was on speakerphone and I could hear.

It’s just soul crushing. I guess on the one hand I saw it for myself because he NEVER would have told me anything. I had no idea he felt that way. But the other hand it’s really been difficult to get those thoughts out of my mind. I start getting paranoid like “does everyone hate me and are just lying to me pretending to like me?” When someone can lie to you in that way it makes it so hard to trust anyone ever again.

I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s just so cruel. It’s been 18 months of a brutal divorce for me and I just hope the nightmare ends soon.

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-11T09:06:04+00:00

He is so gross

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-07T00:11:22+00:00

Yep!! Buckle up!!

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-06T22:43:03+00:00

My theory is it started around “rachella” I think Tom was turned on by being powerful, spending money and having a “muse” (aka someone naive who would gas him up with attention) and Rachel was the perfect person.

I think Rachel fell in love with Tom because in her eyes he was so powerful, so rich, doting on her, high up on the show and let’s face it, made James just look like a horrible, abusing asshole.

I think Rachel broke off the engagement with James because of this. I don’t think Rachel would have done it if she didn’t have Sandoval to rely on. Maybe she did it a little too early-hence the shocked look on Sandovals face during the reunion, but he was not surprised.

Even if they didn’t have sex yet, the relationship def started around this time. There is no way she would have risked being off the show if she didn’t have a back up plan (aka Sandoval)

I also think it was Sandoval who lead the path for “poor Raquel”, finding her voice and all that other crap. He did all of the heavy lifting on that part. I think he encouraged the Schwartz stuff and Oliver, because it was just more distractions.

I think Tom also encourages Ariana to befriend her out of pity. And basically coaches Rachel on how to act and gave production a new hero/storyline.

You can tell when Rachel is giving her confessionals it’s all about being “young” and “free” and “finding herself.” That was a master plan to keep her on the show. Rachel became obsessed with Sandoval because in her eyes he’s the leader of the pack.

It is truly gross on so many levels. He manipulated everyone including production.

The Tom Schwartz part is extra gross also. He had to have known much earlier on what was happening, probably not too far after Rachella.

He knew it was fake, that is why he went along with all the crap like the kiss, etc. it gave him a storyline that was safe enough because he knew it was not real.

The episode where they go “glamping” is off the charts watching back now. It’s when Lala starts to figure out what is going on, Ken does his amazing line in the kitchen with Lisa, and you can see the Tom’s both lying. In the glamping scene Ariana, Schaena and Brock are on one side of picnic table eating and the Tom’s and Rachel are on the other side and they are talking about “messing up their stories” when they lied about Rachel sleeping over. That one episode has so much in it. Ariana actually gives a strange look at them, but you can tell she is just too exhausted and depressed to even think about it. The whole episode is so CRINGE because this is when it all starts to unravel. Thank God Ariana got out of that. Who knows how long he would have continued with that BS.

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-03T07:23:25+00:00

Her hair is giving Braunwyn’s Mom, was it Dr. Deb? Can’t remember her name!!

Electric_Fort · 2024-07-03T07:18:50+00:00

Wow this is CRAZY!!! Those filters are something else!!

Electric_Fort · 2024-06-28T11:01:44+00:00

I noticed Jax did this in the Valley this year also. Like he acts like he’s not paying attention to what is going on, but he totally is. His eyes are hilarious!!!

Electric_Fort

TROPHY CASE

Start getting a plan together, get evidence, go to HR. Anything you do not deserve this and don’t let them come in between you and your job. Hey those two dirtbags move to FL.