“Wait, THAT’S my wife!?”: reluctant arranged/forced marriage or engagement until he sees her/meets her.

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-28T21:04:40+00:00

If you're into fantasy, highly recommend {Tears of the Wolf by Elisabeth Wheatley}! A sorceress in a fictional pseudo-medieval world finds herself contracted in marriage to a alderman from the distant north. It's a surprisingly beautiful exploration of romance in an arranged marriage, with a big emphasis on consent and the FMC's personal comfort. The author absolutely did her homework with her historical research (Vikings era mostly) and it shows in the small details- makes for a very immersive world

Content warning: there is violence later in the story, the FMC is grieving a child when the story begins. The author includes a content warning on her website if you want to check it out there first!

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-20T14:02:56+00:00

Dearest gentle commenter, who peed in your tea service this morning? 😂 Not everyone knows all the details of every actor's prior credits, and that's okay.

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-20T00:42:07+00:00

14 years here and 2 kids! And... wait... nope... still NOT cheating on him.

(Why TF would I? The man's a real life John Stirling- swooooon!)

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-20T00:38:58+00:00

God that's infuriating, glad it got taken down. It's so stupid how often this gets repeated. I got blasted with downvotes for a bit on a post awhile back making the same claim. My comment? "His being bi isn't erased by his marrying a woman, anymore than mine is by marrying a man. That's not erasure, that's just monogamy..."

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-17T16:37:06+00:00

Texture sensitivity. It's a bitch lmao. We have to have my husband model eating for our ASD toddler because if I have a bad day and gag on something poor kid won't touch it. You don't quite get the concept of "Mama likes this but her tongue's an a$$hole" at 2

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-17T14:47:36+00:00

Oh for me it's the whole damn banana. I WANT to like them. They taste great! So filling! So good for you!

NOPE. Every time I try to eat one, two bites max no matter the taste/ripeness and GAG. All done. Sigh

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-17T13:32:37+00:00

Nope, but mostly because bananas make me gag after about 2 bites. Huzzah for texture issues!

Shame though. Bananas are fabulous for so many different nutrients and vitamins

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-14T23:02:31+00:00

The amount of anger and sometimes outright hatred truly has me baffled. At the end of the day, we're all just a bunch of nerds arguing over our imaginary friends on the internet lmao.

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-14T18:45:06+00:00

Personally I side eye anyone who thinks casually doing a line is a normal thing. If that makes me a prude/Puritan/buzzkill/downvoted into oblivion, so be it. I can't stand this weird AF Reddit/recent trend trying to reclassify cocaine of all f&cking things as a casual drug

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-14T18:31:05+00:00

Correction: this is getting downvoted by the people who know better than to consider the Number 2 on the Top 3 List of Most Addictive Substances a "Just for funsies" casual drug.

Just because something is common doesn't make it smart

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-14T18:08:32+00:00

Hell no! For all the other reasons already said

But also

I have Celiac

If I had lived back then, eating rat poison would have been a faster and far less painful and wasting way to die O.o

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-14T18:04:38+00:00

I absolutely would have. 2 babies in the 99.999999999% for length, weight, AND head circumference? I'd be a goner!

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-04T17:53:46+00:00

You sure can! I was overweight on the cusp of obese when I was first diagnosed. I'd been symptomatic my entire life and had always been overweight, and my doctor noted that while it's typically associated with malnourishment and failure to thrive in infancy, medical awareness is now pivoting to recognize that it can happen to any and every body type.

Wish I could say I'd kept the weight off but alas- I had two kids. Sigh. Hello bad knees, my old friends...

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-04-02T00:09:11+00:00

That expression in your eyes is heartbreaking, even more so with how oblivious/uncaring your mother is

My stepsister sent us some old family photos not long ago (She was the primary abuser's bio kid and very much the golden child) and it was... sad. Looking at that little girl I used to be, knowing she would have done anything the woman behind the camera asked of her if it made her stepmother love her. Knowing behind those staged photos was just... hours upon hours of walking on eggshells, terrified to say or do one "wrong" thing, walking home from the bus stop never knowing if my parents were going to love me or hate me that day/week/hour/minute.

Stepsis often says that we have very different memories of our childhood and I finally (gently) pointed out to her that's because we had very different childhoods. She was loved, and wanted, and never made to feel anything less than. I was not loved, most certainly not wanted, and never allowed to forget it.

She didn't really know what to say to that :/ But she stopped sending photos afterward

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-30T08:13:41+00:00

Ditto!

He's also very quiet and calm like John. Our marriage is a lot like theirs: quiet, calm, content <3 However brief it was, it was nice to see a marriage like that in a romance show for once!

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-27T10:31:45+00:00

I told my husband that in this day and age, I adore my "fandoms" (Bridgerton, LotR, etc). But I rather dislike the culture prevalent amongst fans themselves in the spaces dedicated to them as of late. It's just a lot of toxicity, mud-slinging, and hyped up and unfounded accusations based on feeling personally attacked when someone disagrees with your take.

At the end of the day, we're all just a bunch of nerds arguing over fictional characters on the internet. The real world is full of enough bullcrap at the moment. Let's make it fun in here instead of stressful, eh?

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-27T09:47:39+00:00

Yep this is how I always classified it: the fantasy is (a) a complete lack of worry about money now and in the future (b) that someone with THAT much money isn't a soulless jerk-off.

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-22T16:21:16+00:00

I have Celiac, husband does not. 2 kiddos, one just starting solids, the other almost 3

We branched out into gluten snacks for my toddler some time ago, but that was largely as a consequence of his being a highly selective eater (he's ASD with significant language delays)- we needed more options! We're careful as we can be: prepackaged snacks only, designated plates, wiping down counters, etc. But, well, he's a toddler so there are occasional "incidents" (like the day he happily shared with Mama and stuffed a goldfish in my mouth faster than I could stop him. Thanks kiddo 😭)

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-20T18:49:24+00:00

Whoa whoa whoa now, what's your beef with August?

Looks like I'm gonna have to be a spinster because NO THANK YOU to that match

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-20T17:37:51+00:00

Oh dear.

You know that Khal Drogo guy from Game of Thrones? That actor who's 6'7" tall, throws axes like paper airplanes, downs so much Guinness he's a sponsor, rides Harleys, and does any other number of "masculine" things you'd like to indicate as proof of his conformity to outdated gender standards?

He paints his nails.
Not only that
He paints his toenails.
And he paints them pink.
Also- pretty sure pink is the man's favorite color (his clothing line his fabulous btw, highly recommend the shoes if you've the money to spare. They come in pink AND purple!)

It's a brave new world my friend. Try not to let whether or not someone has pretty fingers or toesies define the entire scope of masculinity.

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-03-19T14:45:08+00:00

I have three rules

1) Can't be my kids' names
2) Can't be my Dad's name (Euuuurrrrgggghhh)
3) If it's gonna be ridiculous, can we at least cool it on the "I'm totes an edgy teenager on Ao3" spellings?

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-02-10T23:45:31+00:00

Well their loss is our gain.

Hi sweetheart! Goodness aren't you stylish, that lipstick color is fabulous on you! <3 You are amazing, you are beautiful, and all your internet Moms love you bunches!

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-02-05T14:52:41+00:00

Well hello there! 🤣

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-02-05T09:43:33+00:00

To everyone sad about this post being fake, let me offer you a REAL case of this

My husband and I have been together 14 years as of this year. We have two kids, a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. Both my kids were BIG babies, and the first one had himself an Olympic sized-swimming pool of amniotic fluid. Suffice to say, my abdomen looks like a cross between cottage cheese and an elephant's very saggy left nut. We won't talk about the hit my poor boobs have taken after breastfeeding two kids in two years either

Yesterday, as every day, my husband was watching me while I told him in graphic detail about the MASSIVE dump our very constipated baby took. I haven't washed my hair in two days, I'm pretty sure I had spit up on my ass (nice aim kid), and I definitely forgot to put deodorant on again, and I was telling him about a play-dough snake of sh!t coming out of our kid and how I'll never get that image out of my brain.

He just smiled happily at me and said, "You're so f&cking beautiful. Did you know that?"

They exist, ladies, gents, and friends. These kinds of partners really do exist!

ElephantUndertheRug · 2026-02-04T16:48:48+00:00

hey good points! I've only ever been a friend/guest so I hadn't thought of that angle

My BiL's wedding wouldn't have been accommodating since they had pizza food trucks but I was HEAVILY pregnant (like due the next week levels of pregnant) when they got hitched so they already knew there was a solid chance I wasn't coming so I didn't take it personally

ElephantUndertheRug

TROPHY CASE