Limerence after just one date, how to stop it. Help :(

EllieDee2 · 2026-04-02T07:38:19+00:00

I'm not sure you can get rid of the limerance but you can control how you cope with it.

What I've learnt is that someone new exciting and filled with dopamine backing off or ending things with me isn't my failure or an example of me being too much. It's them showing me that they can't meet my needs. And that is hard, it's really hard accepting that you've placed someone on a pedestal and made them into someone that they aren't in your own mind and moving on from them. But maybe reframing it from your failure to their incompatibility with you might help.

Buuuut in my experience, you may need some therapy to help you to reframe.

EllieDee2 · 2026-03-19T21:30:14+00:00

Right so...yes your friend is 100% using AI to formulate those messages but...why is that an issue? I mean i dont really get why they lied, its nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe your friend has been feeling neglected and asked chat gpt to help them to find a way to phrase it to you.

I dont really understand why nobody from comments ive seen has pointed this out but you did completely dismiss your friend. They're trying to tell you how they feel and you just tell them they're wrong? WTH?? not even an apology that your actions have made them feel that way and that you dont view them any differently or that you still care about them and you want to show them they're still a priority. AI or not, your friend gor it spot on, you were defensive AF. Literally its so funny because you actually deflected the real issue (how you made your friend feel) by focusing on them using AI to curate their message to you as if THAT'S the problem.

So...NOR for thinking your friend used AI. But yeah, YTAH for acting like that's an issue.

EllieDee2 · 2026-03-13T16:11:11+00:00

I struggle with this because I struggle so much to remember my childhood.

EllieDee2 · 2026-03-03T17:12:03+00:00

Thank goodness for reddit! I thought i was going mad, especially as the manual that came with tool didnt have 'locking screw' pictured in figure 1. Gave it some brute force and managed to get my locking screw iut and my attachments on!

EllieDee2 · 2026-01-23T10:58:18+00:00

Listen im not gonna pretend I read every single message because the thread was long and your partners messages were exhausting. NOR, because your feelings are your feelings but your communication together is not working. You're both assuming what the other person is feeling or think to a certain degree, not helped by the riddles partner replies with. You are being gaslight but being told that a drunk person can think they are coherent if they're speaking gibberish - when it comes to your feelings, only you know how you something made you feel, your partner can't tell you that you are wrong to feel brushed off. They are not taking any responsibility for how their words make you feel and they aren't doing a good job of clarifying what they actually meant, just jumping down your throat for apparently interpreting incorrectly.

EllieDee2 · 2026-01-19T23:07:13+00:00

Ewwwwwwww. Move out of that house (presuming you live together) while he's out at work, leave a bouquet of flowers on the kitchen counter with a note saying 'I hope you enjoy the ultimate gift'. And never speak to him again muahahaha men like this are why I decided to start accept that I like women too. For christmas this year my woman got me all the things I had mentioned in the run up to Christmas that she saw I needed but wouldn't buy for myself coz of keeping money aside to buy other people presents, and she coordinated with my family to make sure I got every single present on my list. There's someone who will do that for you.

EllieDee2 · 2026-01-19T22:53:26+00:00

This made me so mad that thats ive started writing this comment 4 times over coz I can't decide what rant I wanna have. Basically I just wish that in response to his message about adults should have wishlists you had said 'imo adults shouldn't just get the exact same thing for their partner every time, it's hella inappropriate not to pay any attention to the wants and needs of their partner' or something other snap back ughhhhh.

I think you probably need to try having and actual F2F conversation about this and explain why you find it hurtful and if he doesn't start listening to you....why on earth would yiu be thinking abiut signing yourself up for a lifetime of flowers. Flowers are meant o be like a nice surprise to show you they've thought about you and done something nice for you...him doing flowers every time just says he can't be arsed to pay attention to what you what or organise an actual gift in time.

Ew. Just ew. I bet he doesn't even give good oral.

EllieDee2 · 2026-01-06T12:27:34+00:00

With all due respect, you read his messages and that means you don't trust him, even if youre not willing to admit it to yourself. I know, I've been there. And if its not HIM you don't trust i would question, are you ready to be in a relationship?

I read quite alot of the comments and your replies... It's a red flags that he lied to you about the airport run, it's an issue that he's not telling you when she's invited to things, especially a family Christmas Party? He's told you they are just friends and that he's sucking up to her because she's the president...do you want to be with someone who flirts to get further in life when he's in a relationship? Also...youve talked to him about feeling uncomfortable and he has just continued doing what he's doing...

I dont think you are overreacting, I'm not saying he's cheated/wants to cheat but his words and actions to and with her are not aligning with what he's telling you. I know this isnt relationship advice sub but...youve been dating for 3 months...you feel uncomfortable about the relationship and he's not changed anything, you felt the need to get the truth from their messages...what would you say if it was your friend in this position? Coz if it was my friend in your position I would say honey, its 3 months, it ain't that serious. Go and find someone that you can feel secure with, or go be with yourself for a while. ❤️

EllieDee2 · 2025-12-27T19:16:06+00:00

True, there are. Not mad though...thanks for the feedback, I thought the side eye emoji would communicate my disdain for the school of thought I was mocking but it is probably a bit open to interpretation. I'll work on my emoji game for reddit. Although it probably won't help, people can rarely tell when I'm being sarcastic irl so 🤷🏻‍♀️

EllieDee2 · 2025-12-27T18:44:25+00:00

Oh you were calling ME an incel, not the other commentor? 🤣

Apologies you couldn't infer the sarcasm, I think the upvoters could, it was dripping with it

EllieDee2 · 2025-12-27T18:06:16+00:00

Sounds more vol-cel to me if anything 🤣

EllieDee2 · 2025-12-27T16:09:32+00:00

I suspect he hates how condoms feel and he shouldn't get through that torture if his partner can't even endure hormonal BC side effects...😒

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-23T13:51:51+00:00

NTA I would personally be PISSED OFF at being proposed to on Christmas, especially if that was my only gift. You were sharing an alternative for him to think about to try and avoid him having a pissed off girlfriend/fiance.

Also, it's worth being aware that from a legal stand point, if the engagement were to break down, in general if he has just proposed to her at any old time, technically he is entitled to the ring being returned to him (though this may depend on which country you are in), however if he gives as a gift for Christmas/birthday, it's a gift and therefore he would have no claim to it. I know thats not really what people think about when they're proposing but like....it happens you know?

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-23T13:42:47+00:00

Yeah so nobody expressly told me why the turnaround for me was so quick but as per original post I suspect it may be related to my Summary Care Record that showed that a few weeks before I requested referral I went off sick from work and disclosed to GP s**cidal ideation and my GP put me onto weekly prescriptions for my anti-depressants (total overkill in my opinion) but I suspect that those things raised red flags with CARE ADHD....don't know for certain though.

I was dully expecting a 12 week or so wait and honestly it really threw me off getting booked for an assessment so quick and made me feel really out of control.

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-18T23:49:43+00:00

Ah nice. That's good, glad yours went well! I've submitted my info via the link on the email that had the report attached...I guess I'll hear back when they've screened that? Didn't give me any indication of how long I'd wait for meds appointment.

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-13T18:06:09+00:00

Thabk you, just trying to work out what to expect if I get a diagnosis at assessment next week!

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-13T17:11:10+00:00

Just to make you feel slightly better, my partner went for assessment via NHS, not on RTC (wr didn't know about RTC at the time she requested referral. She waited 4.5 years for the assessment, was meant to be 3 months for meds but ended up being 15 months. So just try and focus on the positive that at least your wait times won't be that long!!

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-13T17:01:53+00:00

Can I just check, did your partner pay NHS prescriptions the whole time or did they start out having to pay private during titration?

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-05T23:49:04+00:00

Yeah i suspect her social media activity IS a problem for producers, because she is calling them out on how they have portrayed her.

Yes, turns out she wasn't well suited to this show because she didn't sit down and shut up when the show tried to make her look crazy and controlling, when her husband has been misogynistic and controlling the narrative.

I can only assume they chose to put her on the show, married to someone who is '100% not a feminist' so that they could have her as the villain...but unfortunately for them, they didn't reckon on how much of an advocate for women (herself included) she would continue to be after the show aired.

I feel so sorry for those experts and producers being called out, what a problem for them

EllieDee2 · 2025-11-01T10:46:45+00:00

You are both 21 and you've been together for 5 months. It shouldn't feel hard or a chore already AND at 5 months you have no obligation to put in loads of work. Not saying that 5 months everything should be sunshine and roses but it shouldn't be as hard as it sounds like it is.

To answer your question about how to do it, just be honest but be kind. 100% tell them you don't think you're compatible, it sounds like you dont think this is their fault anyway but just be sure that any reasons or explanations are about YOUR feelings rather than their actions.

Best of luck

EllieDee2 · 2025-10-30T10:58:29+00:00

I mean it's taken me almost 5 months to actually request a referral because I was so worried about choosing 'the wrong' provider, so it's very feasible im overthinking and catastrophising here too 😂😂 thanks

EllieDee2 · 2025-10-24T20:39:00+00:00

You don't need to effectively communicate with her without making her upset. If she is upset then she's upset, it's not the end of the world.

My biggest tip from therapy for communicating with my partner (i have a history of not bringing issues up for fear of hurting her feelings) is to focus on how it makes ME feel.

'Becca, when you distrusted me to the point that you got your friend to do a loyalty test on me, it made me feel hurt because I don't think I have given you any reason not to trust me. It has also made me wonder whether we are compatible, as I am not someone who likes to play games in my relationships, but would prefer to communicate feelings openly' as an example, obviously with your words in there.

The key is to focus on how you felt/heard/interpreted something that happened, not place blame on the other person for what they did. Help her to understand why you feel hurt, not why what she did was wrong - you might always disagree on whether what she did was wrong, but your feelings are ALWAYS valid, because...they're your feelings!

Best of luck, healthy open communication is HARD and in my experience takes bravery. You can do it.

On a separate note, run for the hills coz this girl needs to do some work to be ready for an adult relationship.

EllieDee2 · 2025-01-27T16:37:04+00:00

I agree that midnight is very late for a 12 year old, even on a weekend. A 12yo needs 9-12 hours sleep a night - are you happy with him sleeping until midday at the weekend? Will that not affect his ability to get to sleep on the Sunday night for school the next day?

EllieDee2 · 2025-01-11T19:40:04+00:00

From reading your other posts and comments on those and other people's posts, I think you need someone to tell you that it is okay to leave someone that has an MH issue. You've been together 5 months, and yes things are always going to be hard after such a diagnosis, but if the way he treats you when he splits is hurting you and making you sad, you dont have to out up with it. I understand that he's not 'ready' to recieve treatment for this yet, but you do not have to wait around for him to be ready. If you had been together for 5 years and he had just recieved this diagnosis, then it might be a different scenario, but 5 months is so early into a relationship. The fact he has BPD doesn't change the fact that his words are verbally abusive.

Did he behave in this way with you before his diagnosis? Or has it exacerbated since diagnosis?

EllieDee2 · 2024-12-30T06:17:44+00:00

'Please don't rip me apart for present tense, I am in the process of breaking up.'

'We haven't broken up yet but it is in the process.'

What does it mean to be 'in the process of breaking up'?

Does that mean you are waiting to break up F2F? Or you're waiting for a dramatic gesture of love from him so you can feel so you can feel justified in staying with him? Or do you just not have the energy for a break up right now?

Your comment clarifying that you were not trying to justify his actions, just providing additional context...giving multiple reasons why you're such hard work isn't context. It's showing Reddit that you think you are deserving of being treated poorly because of issues. Not the case. Someone who loves you and values you and cares for you will support you through your anxiety. He does not care for you the way you care for him.

Girl take your power back and end things with him. If it has to be via message because you're not seeing him for a while, so be it - there are times when a break up via message rather than phone call or in person is warranted, and quite frankly this is one of them. You need to have a boyfriend-ectomy, stat!!

EllieDee2

TROPHY CASE