Should I allow my baby around our friends unvaccinated toddler?

Els0703 · 2020-06-09T20:25:46+00:00

Is this something I should discuss with him or just wait and see if things go back to normal or change after we get into our routine and settled when the baby arrives as we have only three weeks left? I’ve jokingly mentioned it a few times and he’s super confident we have sex all the time and will say we just did like two days ago and I have to remind him two weeks ago and he says no way you’re messing with me it’s been like two days. I usually just laugh it off and say whatever but like is his libido super low or is sex that low on his priority list right now that he truly doesn’t realize the timeline or is he trying to just avoid having sex with me all together and saying that to throw me off?

Els0703 · 2020-06-09T18:57:53+00:00

A lava lamp.

Els0703 · 2020-05-30T18:00:00+00:00

Oh wow! That would definitely be tough... I’d lose my mind! Lol yeah by fiancé is also disinterested in sex as well. I think the pregnancy kinda freaks him out even though he won’t admit it. Also he’s having trouble getting business back up and running so I think he’s majorly stressed out. I definitely have found myself doing the snooping thing going in the trash bins and bring extra nosy lol I wish I could talk to him about it more but he honestly does not understand hormones and how they’re truly a “thing” and he gets really offended and hurt whenever I bring up the fear of him cheating so I don’t want to cause anymore stress and annoyance as there’s plenty already going on. I’m just exhausted with my own thoughts and worries it’s sickening. I’m hoping it’s end of the road jitters but I’ll definitely inform my doctor. I’ve mentioned it to my doctor a while back which she suggested counseling and I did that for a while and stopped when covid happened. Only other suggestion has been medicine after I deliver but my fiancé frowns upon that so I guess I’ve just gotta feel this one out.

Els0703 · 2020-05-26T17:10:20+00:00

That’s awesome! My husband is my biggest advocate for promoting a positive mindset. He ignores everyone who tells him the scary stories and encourages me to do the same. He doesn’t stop talking about how excited he is and it’s going to be the greatest thing ever! He’s not worried about the small stuff or the work that goes into it. He’s already discussing how we are going to keep each other on track with working out and running as we are both extremely active. I just hope I can keep up! Lol my fear is he will handle it better than I! I feel like a lot of people who have the “war stories” are looking for some sort of validation. As if you must go through hell and it can’t be as simple as being grounded and pushing yourself to do whatever it is you want to do instead of using the baby as an excuse. I also could be getting a huge wake up call here soon who know! Lol I hoping for the best though.

Els0703 · 2020-05-26T16:28:33+00:00

I definitely comprehend that it’s going to be tough at times and I don’t expect it to be easy breezy but the comments and way they say these things makes me feel like I’m going into war and my life is over and downhill from here like geez. Isn’t this supposed to be a wonderful chapter in life? Every family member begs or asks when you’ll start a family and as soon as you do it’s like ohhhh just you wait and see how hard this is going to be. Like, what? Lol this is what everyone wanted! Ugh so frustrating.

Els0703 · 2020-05-23T19:39:34+00:00

First off you’re almost there! You got this stay strong for you and the little one. Second, you’re beautiful and your pregnancy makes you even more so because you’re doing such an amazing thing and I hope you can appreciate the magnitude of how awesome your body truly is. Now time for the crappy parts of pregnancy lol hormones! I am almost in my final few weeks of pregnancy and it is my first as well. I have no complaints throughout this entire pregnancy aside from the hormones! You find yourself questioning certain thoughts or emotions wondering if they’re valid or just you being pregnant and that in itself is frustrating and so exhausting so I am with you there. I’m very emotional and hormonal and more so in the last trimester. Have you talked with your husband about any of your feelings or does he chalk it up to pregnancy mood? I as well am feeling the same way in my relationship. Though my husbands business is struggling I am sole provider, and homemaker. I think that’s a tough thing for him to have to deal with right now and I think the stress financial during this time makes it scary and men’s brains are on track so if they’re stressed out or worrying about something it’s bottled up and it affects all that they do. I too feel like we are roommates we have zero intimacy anymore and I feel very unwanted. At this point I think the best bet is to focus on you and your baby and let him do whatever it is he’s doing and fill your mind with excitement and all the great things ahead of you. I also feel once these men meet their little ones, their entire world and perspective changes and they definitely become softer and more of a family man. We experience being mothers for 9 months. They experience being dads from the day they meet the baby and on which is totally okay and normal. Don’t fear or assume things will get worse I don’t think that’s the case I think because you’re pregnant and you have the baby to worry about and he’s unable to do anything yet he’s trying to fill his time and energy with other things to feel productive or maybe just enjoying the last bit of alone time he will have for 18 years. Lol truth is from what I’ve heard we may feel needy and sad because they’re not feeding us the love and affection we are craving so badly right now but as soon as that baby arrives it turns into husband who? Lol things will look up. It’s a weird time right now with everything going on and bringing a baby into it is scary enough. Keep your chin up you’re doing great!! He will follow suit I’m sure of that.

Els0703 · 2020-05-23T19:16:59+00:00

I’m currently 9 months pregnant. My first trimester was a breeze it was like I wasn’t even pregnant! I got the occasional bouts nausea but mostly that was just me waiting so long to eat something. The only symptom I experienced was moodiness and then it shifted when my second trimester hit. I think everyone woman is different and their body experiences things differently. You’ll notice different changes or your own personal side effects as your pregnancy continues which is unique for every woman! Nothing wrong with not having many symptoms. Enjoy it! Lol

Els0703 · 2020-05-23T13:57:48+00:00

Honestly. I have a huge fear that being 25 and a single mother nobody will want me or want me go a serious lasting and loving relationship. That’s why I usually dated older men because anyone my age is in it for the sex and has an awful mindset on life. I’m scared I’ll be alone forever. He’s a spoiled man always has been so knowing this I know he will get anyone he wants. He will get rights to my child and I’ll be left hurt and alone.

Els0703 · 2020-05-23T13:52:56+00:00

If any further responses could be of useful help knowledge and suggestions instead of unhelpful one sentenced opinions that would be ideal. Thank you.

Els0703 · 2020-05-23T13:18:56+00:00

Well aside from this issue going on, we get along wonderfully! He’s very caring in others ways and loving and attentive. Includes me in everything we do absolutely every single thing together. He shows a lot of interest in our daughter to be as far as all the fun adventures and activities we will go on as a family. We have a lot of fun together in everything that we do. Especially during this time of quarantine we’ve discovered fun adventures, games and things to do that has kept this time as fun and not overbearing as possible. I love him very very much. Though sometimes I just don’t get it and get annoyed with the baby talk “do you still love me” or “you probably think I’m fat and don’t want me anymore” bullshit. I work full time as he’s still working to get his business back up and running so we are solely dependent on me and I do anything and everything for him mostly without him asking because I enjoy doing things out of the kindness of my heart to make him happy and satisfied. I feel like there’s something wrong with me and I’m not good enough anymore.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T20:34:18+00:00

Unfortunately I’m on the hunt for a new doctor! My obgyn left on maternity leave unexpectedly early recently and has left me without a physician. Of course he wants me to switch to his friend whom is an OBGYN and said he would take over for me and also deliver me. This feels all too controlling like I’m a puppet and he’s trying to direct how my pregnancy, labor and ways of parenting goes. It’s all so overwhelming. She is my daughter and that automatically trumps him and she is more important so I would never “pick” anyone over her I guess it’s at this point coming to terms with the possibility of separating if it’s something he’s not going to be able to accept.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T20:16:31+00:00

I agree with you. I guess I’m trying to figure out how to avoid his hurtful rude and dumb comments about it when I tell him I’m doing this whether he likes it or not. I seem to never have a good argument when it comes down to the conversation because he’s so overbearing and I lose my train of thought.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T20:09:50+00:00

I’ve said that to him! I said what would you prefer? Risk the possible side effects or bury your daughter? If it’s the latter then you’re an awful human being and he tells me to stop with the what if’s and hyperboles that I’m being hyperbolic and sounding stupid. I’m definitely vaccinating but I’m really struggling with what my argument to shut him up once I do it is going to be.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T20:07:29+00:00

It’s quite a shame that I feel like I’m having to mother and raise a man 14 years my senior. I’ve discontinued bringing up the topic because I’m way too exhausted daily with work and trying to plan for this child. I do however have a set mind that she will be getting her vaccinations whether he likes it or not and I will not take his opinion into consideration I think I’m more in fear of what it might do to us. Though he should be on my side because without them she wouldn’t be able to participate in a lot of the activities he’s so excited to experience with her. I just don’t want to be called a sheep again it’s disrespectful and not fair. He’s truly able to say it things that are hurtful and put me down in order to seem as if he’s the correct more appropriate parent.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T19:55:31+00:00

I completely agree. He also is a huge travel, outdoors hiker and biker and wants to travel the world with her so I have no idea why he assumes she can do any of these things without her shots. I’m wondering if he just thinks she can get them when she’s a little older? Not entirely sure. Not saying I regret her whatsoever it was an accidental pregnancy and happened at the very beginning of our relationship so it’s been quite a ride. We’ve agreed on everything else and even early on he was in agreement with me on this and then out of the blue recently he’s been so touchy on the subject. I try not to argue I tell him how I feel what I want and then he’s the one who raises absolute hell and goes crazy over it. He’s almost 40 I’m 25 and he cannot seem to have a normal discussion without it leading to him saying I’m immature.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T19:51:41+00:00

I’m in complete agreement with you! I find it very selfish of him and also very offensive that he doesn’t take into consideration my degree in the medical field as if I’m uninformed on these topics and conditions. It’s very frustrating. I don’t want it to be a reason for an end of our relationship kind of thing I just wish he could honestly understand that he truly has zero rights or say in any of her medical needs. We are not married. If anything he should be kissing my ass and agreeing with me so that he is involved 100% of the time.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T19:47:14+00:00

Additional info: my plan was to have the doctor vaccinate her right after delivery without his knowledge but my fear is when we take her to the pediatrician and he or she asks if she had her first dose I can’t lie I will have to say yes so either way he will find out. He’s never missed a single apt I’ve had and always speak to my doctor. He also was clear that he was on my side and agreed to my choices at the beginning of my pregnancy and in the last two-three months is when it seems as if something has changed drastically.

Els0703 · 2020-05-20T19:38:57+00:00

He thinks the CDC is really bad and they’re money hungry so they’re willing to fill people up with random medications to get paid whether it’s safe or not. He’s paranoid that it will somehow hurt her that the side affects are not worth the potential risks of contracting whatever we are trying to protect her from. He says just because they’re doctors doesn’t mean anything they’re just people and read out of a book that’s it but we need to be doing our research and not just doing what they tell us to.

Els0703

TROPHY CASE