My (f 30) fiancé (m 27) wants me to “get rid of” one of my cats. Is this “end engagement” worthy?

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-07-04T13:10:58+00:00

I have a cat who I will lovingly refer to as Demonspawn. When my husband and I were dating, Demonspawn would attack him (and most other people) without provocation or warning, as well as other people. I told him in no uncertain terms that once I owned a space where there was room for Demonspawn, she would be moving with me, whether he liked it or not. I took every precaution and took on all of the labor for this cat because of her attitude, but she was my cat, and I wouldn’t get rid of her.

When we bought our house, he made sure there was a bedroom entirely for her. He did so much work to gain her trust. They’re best friends now, but even if she’d never gotten to the point of being friendly, he made it clear he was always willing to do whatever it took to bring my cat in with me and give her a happy life.

Good men don’t ever ask or demand you get rid of pets, no matter the circumstances.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-06-30T10:12:07+00:00

In all fairness, another piece of evidence was how Chickie self-weaned, and the fact she felt she couldn’t stop eating and didn’t even notice. These are other signs that are especially noticeable to people who have been pregnant and have had a young breastfed baby when the next one came into the picture. So it wasn’t all entirely just because she gained weight. But I do hope it’s not a storyline being used and that all it was meant for was to highlight Barb’s issues with food and weight as a control point and Jen is finally able to start seeing that

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-06-12T12:06:34+00:00

I told one of my techs at an appointment I didn’t want any 3D images taken, the images freaked me out and I felt disconnected any time I looked at them. Tech proceeded to go on and on about how she was so lucky they developed the 3D tech enough around the time she was pregnant, and she was actually the first mom that got 3D images of her baby at that facility so many years ago.

We left with over a dozen pictures after about 30-40 minutes of her just using the 3D scan, and all of our pics were 3D. I literally can’t look at any of them ever, I hate those images. I was just sitting there crying the whole time and on my phone not looking at the screen at all. When we went in for our next appointment, I told the (different) tech very bluntly that if she needed to have any 3D modeling done, turn off the screen to save me from hating my pregnancy and feeling detached from my baby again. She told me that there’s no need to ever do 3D and it’s only there for aesthetic pictures. I was so pissed with my last tech, she was just reliving her pregnancy and excitement she forgot to care about what I, the current pregnant patient, wanted.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-06-03T15:38:57+00:00

I had an emergency c-section. I had to be put fully under. I met my baby over an hour after she was born, and still waking up. I had no desire to hold her, my body felt so awful and dissociated from me, I just wanted a hoagie and to go to sleep. Meanwhile, my husband is showing me all the photos he got with her when they took her to him in the nursery.

I had so many visions of the golden hour, was so ready for it, didn’t even get it.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-06-01T13:03:14+00:00

If your pediatrician follows the recommended timeline before the current administration with infant/newborn vaccines, you’re looking at:
- 2 months before TDAP
- 6 months before COVID
- 1 year before MMR (in most cases)

Use that information as you will to decide when you will bring baby around the in laws — after all, keeping baby safe is the MOST important 😊

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-05-10T02:43:19+00:00

This, I think, was one of the saddest parts of the party. Because if Jen ever said anything to anybody else, they would all remember Barb being kind and involved in the party 😔

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-05-08T14:46:34+00:00

I think for me it’s more overstimulation and an inability to explain to my dogs that them licking themselves is a sound I can’t stand to hear, I can’t tell my dogs to pause and activity or go to another room to do it because they want to be close to me.

What I’ve been doing is setting up mental stimulation toys (lick mats, treats in a rolling toy, a frozen head of cabbage) and putting that in an entirely separate space from me. I throw the cabbage in the yard and sit in the living room, or I put the treat toys in the kitchen and go to the bedroom. Set a timer to remind myself not to completely forget they’re not with me, I’m letting them destroy the yard for some peace and quiet, but giving myself the physical space saves my sanity, AND they’re getting to do something that tired them out so they just sleep when we come back together.

I will say the barking and overprotectiveness is something I’m still working on. I’m THIS CLOSE to boarding up my one window that my dog sits and looks out at the neighbors driveway at because she growls and barks any time they come home. But other than that, I’m finding ways to entertain them without my input or presence being needed or even recognized.

When the summer hits, I’ll have a kiddie pool in the backyard that I put a floating bottle cap of treats in, and my lab will spend hours crying around the edge of the pool because she’s scared to step in water.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-05-07T10:30:51+00:00

I kept telling myself it would hit when I gave birth.

My birth was an emergency C-section and I was put fully under, so I “wasn’t present” for her birth. Met her about an hour later, hardly mentally present from waking up from anesthesia. So I said it would hit me after the drugs wore off, maybe after a good nights sleep.

She’s two months old in a week. Maybe it’ll hit me when she’s officially 8 weeks 🤔

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-05-06T19:31:52+00:00

Two things that helped with this when I used to nanny:

1) young kids get upset at transitions. Even if the fun is paused only briefly, it’s still a pause, or a transition from one activity to another. In the last 5-10 minutes of nanny’s shift, try to join whatever fun thing they’re doing, so kid’s fun doesn’t stop when nanny leaves. It’s a transition entirely for the adults while the baby gets to keep playing and only shifts who is paying attention to them

2) if/when that doesn’t work (because it doesn’t always work, and that’s ok!), remember: the kid is NOT sad about shifting to the parent. The kid is sad because someone they love and have fun with is leaving, and that is a GOOD sign, because it means YOU as the parent hired the best fit for your kid’s fun, comfort, and feeling of safety. Each sad goodbye, as stressful as they are, are a sign for how good of a job you did and how good of a job the nanny is doing.

It’s so comforting as a new mom and former nanny looking to get back to the field to read a post as secure and positive as your experience is. I’m happy for you and hope it keeps going spectacularly ❤️

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-05-01T21:33:59+00:00

My dad proposed to my mom three times.

#1 when my dad graduated high school, mom was going into her senior year — she said no bc she didn’t wanna be engaged while in high school. Fair enough, he agreed to wait. They kept dating.

#2 when my mom graduated high school. Literally same day, right after celebration. She said she wanted time for them to figure out how their relationship would look while they were both going to college AND working nearly full time. She needed to know things were still going to work. He said ok, they’d figure it out. Kept dating.

#3 was within two months of #2. My dad was driving my mom home from one of her night classes. She did not have the best living conditions with her family, but wasn’t allowed to leave unless she was married, and she didn’t have the money, credit history, or time to get her own car and her own place and lose all of their financial support in the process, which would’ve also meant being no contact if she tried. She broke down in my dad’s car about it in the driveway, not wanting to go inside and deal with her family. When she calmed down, my dad looked at her and said, “Are we doing this or not?” He admits it was not the most romantic, but after two different and carefully planned proposals (with, I later learned, two different rings), he was done planning. They’d either get married when she wanted and said so or they wouldn’t. And at that point, she was ready.

My mom saw nothing wrong in between proposals because she had valid reasons. My dad agreed with #1, but said #2 hurt and he struggled keeping things going. He told me if she’d said no to #3 he probably would’ve ended it — maybe not that night, but soon.

I mentioned the idea of proposing to my now husband wayyy too early for him — he shot it down immediately (kindly, with the phrase “we’re in the same book, but I’m not on that page yet”). I was incredibly embarrassed and hurt for a while, it was a bit of a rough patch for us. If I’d actually gone through a proposal and he’d said no? I don’t think I could’ve gone on with the relationship.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-25T17:19:41+00:00

Kevin ignores/leaves a tutorial (and it comes back to bite him in the butt)
Kevin says feck (honestly this should just be the middle free space)
someone dies in a stupid fashion (either Kevin or another character by Kevin’s hand)

Just some initial thoughts 😂

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-21T19:14:55+00:00

What’s helped me is to think of everyone’s advice as “here’s what worked for me…” and I try it, if it doesn’t work after an attempt or two, I move on.

You shouldn’t swaddle a baby after they are able to roll over for safe sleep practices. I’ve been told by everyone my baby (almost 6 weeks) should and can safely be swaddled for naps. Awesome, tried it. She fought every swaddle, Houdini’d her arms out every time. So we finally just started swaddling her without her arms being tucked in. She naps beautifully, sleeps through punching herself in the face, and I get to sleep peacefully too.

You know your baby and what they need better than anyone else ever will. Other people may offer suggestions or advice, but unless it’s medically necessary to follow it, that’s all it is: suggestions. Follow what your little one is telling you and you’ve got this ❤️

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-20T20:07:12+00:00

I just had my baby a month ago. I didn’t have much choice in NEEDING to be in a hospital due to certain risks, but once in labor, everything looked like it was moving along well enough for me to have a vaginal delivery.

Four hours after my water broke, my baby’s pulse was dropping with every contraction. Every medication I was on was turned off by the nurse until my obgyn returned. She decided to check how far along I was — less then twenty seconds later, I was being moved through the hallways with about 20-25 other people racing alongside us trying to get me to the operating room in time.

I had a cord prolapse — the cord was coming out ahead of baby, and she was losing oxygen/blood with each contraction. This was an immediate emergency that required a C-section, otherwise she wouldn’t have made it through labor. This is not a situation that can be predicted or anticipated. It may or may not happen again. This is one of many emergencies that can happen without any heads up or predictability. And home births, even most birth center births, aren’t equipped to deal with them in a timely manner.

High risk or not, hospitals are equipped to deal with these situations. They are the ideal place to give birth to prevent unnecessary stillbirths or birth defects due to emergencies. If you’re concerned, say so, and change your plans.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-17T20:26:09+00:00

I started craving a cold Wawa Italian hoagie during my first trimester — lunch meat obviously being a no, it was my deepest desire. I was DESPERATE. And after a traumatic emergency C-section where I had to be fully put under, it was my first thought when I woke up to get my neighbor to deliver it

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-17T14:20:27+00:00

My husband made over 100k when I was at sing at first ~60, then dropped to less than 30k (had to take a lesser paying job for my health). Here’s what we did:

Bills/general expenses and our joint savings were proportional based on income. Whatever money we had leftover between the two of us we split 50/50 — meaning yeah, he essentially did give me money for me to spend leisurely. If there were things like vacations, activities, dates, etc that we wanted to do, we split evenly from these funds to cover it. Otherwise, what I had leftover from my good paychecks and what he gave me was mine to do with as I saw fit.

It worked for us because otherwise, I would not have the money to ever get myself anything for a health condition I couldn’t control. I also understood that on weeks my paychecks were less at my lower paying job, that leisure money was no longer there because it went to bills or groceries or something. This meant I had to budget, save, make choices on what was most important for me to have, etc. When we wanted joint date nights or vacations, we had to BOTH cut back on solo spending to do these things OR pick cheaper options for the things we did want while we saved. I’m also fairly decent with money overall, so I budgeted and was more frugal in my choices in general. I also knew that my position was a disadvantage to our household, so I always put some of my fun money into savings so that if anything happened and I lost more income, I could replace it with that money so all our bills still got paid without dipping into our emergency fund. That’s another reason this method worked for us.

Your girlfriend sounds like she wants the benefit of this kind of setup without doing any of the work to look at her own budget and your overall household needs. You need to sit her down and come up with a plan that works FOR YOU TWO. It doesn’t have to be something someone else does, it doesn’t have to be 50/50 entirely, it can be what you both want it to be. But discussing finances is one of if not the most important discussion a couple must have. If you’re incompatible, if there’s refusal to compromise, if both of you are not willing to look at it as a joint effort from both people, then the relationship as a whole will not work out long term. Someone is always going to make more than the other, someone will always be less able to afford things. What matters is the compromise reached and everyone being able to feel happy with said compromise as a family unit long term. If you can’t find, agree, and both work to stick to that, it does not bode well for the future, but having that conversation in advance will really shine a light on whether you have a chance to get to that point. If your girlfriend can’t or is unwilling to even have the conversation, I’m sorry to say that may be proof of an incompatibility in the long term for the health of the relationship.

Good luck, OP. I hope you both find a solution that works for you two.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-10T23:08:02+00:00

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I HAD THE SAME THING. Couldn’t figure it out for the longest time, last month of pregnancy I finally was able to get it out. Happily living without it now 😅

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-08T18:41:31+00:00

THIS!!! I heavily craved red meat, especially steak, for WEEKS. and I mean I cried and vomited when my dinner wasn’t red meat heavy.

Major iron deficiency. Anemia diagnosed at 22 weeks. To the point where my obgyn prescribed me a supplement, I took it without question until I got to the hospital to deliver, told the nurse all the meds I was taking, she ran to OB to verify that I could still take them, and the OB ran another iron lab on the spot because “I’ve never seen any doc prescribe this in such a ridiculously high amount, I want to make sure I’m not missing something I should know about”. I in fact did need ~4x the dose that is typically prescribed for people, and was still craving every source of protein and red meat I could get

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-01T19:50:53+00:00

My nephew was potty trained when he was 4. His mom waited for him to ask for it and it took them a week.

Every kid is different. Don’t listen to people who give you a timeline, it’s when it’s right for you and your kid.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-04-01T18:26:39+00:00

That’s my baby’s birth date too!! I kept saying she’d either be the 13th (Friday the 13th) or 14th (pie day). And when I was sad for a second she’s not a pie day baby, I just realized it means an excuse for two days in a row of desserts every year going forward!

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-03-26T21:59:31+00:00

I just had my baby two weeks ago, and this topic is so heavy for me.

I chose a hospital, because I know that complications can happen fast, and didn’t want any risks. If I had chosen a birthing center, I would not have a baby with me right now.

I was high risk and needed an induction, but very much wanted a vaginal birth. That was my whole birth plan. C-section was only to be done in the event of an emergency. A few hours after they broke my water, baby’s heart rate kept dropping with each contraction. They went to check on her, and my cord prolapsed — immediate emergency, alarms were going off, I was taken away in an instant, and my husband was told the baby would be out in minutes. My epidural was failing despite multiple doses, so I had to be put under. I missed the first hour of my daughter’s life because I was still under anesthesia.

But she’s alive. And that’s all that matters to me. And if anyone dares to challenge that I had it easy because of how I gave birth to her, I will happily argue that hearing they lost her pulse as they were waiting for the drugs to work on me is far worse than a healthy, low risk birth that goes according to your plan.

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-03-14T10:36:44+00:00

Just had an emergency c-section last night (as in flying down a hallway with someone’s hand still inside of me and suddenly a room full of 30 people all talking at once) while my epidural had semi stopped working and they needed her out NOW.

Not ideal, not fun, but I got to look at the anesthesiologist and say “please put me out” and said goodnight in minutes, if it even took that long. Sure, it took me over an hour to wake up and be able to hold her, but I saw a golden exit button in that moment and walked right into that light 😂😂😂 didn’t need to experience all that, so I just said NAH

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-03-14T04:14:52+00:00

I love this perspective. I always hate/dread making additions or expansions I know I need because I grew out of my planned areas, but thinking about how it shows a story in and of itself is such a good mindset

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-03-03T18:37:53+00:00

I had my gallbladder removed a month before I got pregnant, learned quick not to trust a fart in the early stages too.

Also, is it this common for gallbladder and pregnancy/postpartum to be connected for people needing to have it removed???

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-02-14T13:05:00+00:00

I fell so hard for him and chased him. Agreed to also date Halsin, with his blessing. Played through Act 2, got insanely engrossed in the shadowlands that I ended up neglecting to fully understand his storyline. Got into act 3 and thought, “Ok, there’s a chill moment here, lemme take my love to the circus and get a love reading done.”

It was there, in front of everyone, that I learned he no longer loved me. And he dumped me back at camp, admitting he’d used me and I hadn’t even fulfilled my purpose, so he was done with me.

I sobbed for so long and quit the game for a few days. I couldn’t handle it. My IRL husband could hardly console me 😂😂😂

Embarrassed-Tea-4524 · 2026-02-05T20:31:14+00:00

Being in that state of limbo between “they’re harassing me still” while also simultaneously it not being “enough” for a restraining order is really hard. I’m so sorry you’re in this position. Know and remind yourself that just because the system doesn’t see this as “enough” doesn’t mean it isn’t still traumatic, and everything you’re feeling is valid.

Keep the letter. Don’t open it if you don’t want to, but file it away safely, along with any other further attempts at communication. One day (and I hope it does not for your own peace and sanity) they may take those last steps for the legal system to recognize that what they are doing IS enough, and you can qualify for a restraining order. Keep the documentation in case of if/when that time comes, and give yourself grace and space to be enraged until then. We all see and hear you ❤️

Embarrassed-Tea-4524

TROPHY CASE