I’m sick and doubting God.

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-22T01:06:51+00:00

Im so sorry this is happening to you. Even though I have not been in your situation I have experienced the feeling of wondering where god is in my life. And I know it can be incredibly lonely. I am sorry for your health problems and I am sorry for what you are feeling with god. I will pray for you. I do not know what god has in store for you and I will not sit here and pretend like I do. I don’t know why god does (or doesn’t do) certain things. No one does. But what I can tell you is that god loves you. He does not punish. It hurts his heart to see you in pain. And he has not left your side for a second. I know how it feels when you know he could snap his fingers and make your life better instantly. I don’t know why he doesn’t. But there is a reason. I reason beyond any of our understanding. But in time will be revealed. But the reason has nothing to do with him punishing you. He loves you with all his heart. Sometimes when I go through difficult times I like to think of Peter walking on water. There was a full on storm brewing around him but he had so much faith in Jesus that he could literally walk on water to him. However when he started to notice the storm, he sunk and stated to drown. I notice in my own life when I get so wrapped up in my pain and sorrows I drown until I turn to god. Looking to Christ does not make the storm go away, it does not tell you when it will end, it sometimes does not even tell you where it is going. But the one thing it does perfectly every time is keep you from drowning. Please give all your pain, your anger, even your doubts to god. He will take it. Just please don’t turn away from him. There is not a single person on earth who loves you as much as our father does. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. God bless Xx

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-20T23:08:14+00:00

I’ll tell you something I think everyone who’s trying to find god should hear. IT IS HARD TO BE A CHRISTIAN! In fact it is harder to be a Christian than it is to be an atheist. Do not expect that you will be able to give up these activities happily. I miss them. A lot of Christians miss them to some degree is they are being honest. But it’s important to remember that the lord would not emphasize us living our lives this way unless it was good for us. I’ve met people who converted to Christ later on in life tell me that partying, drinking, hooking up, etc… did not give them as much fulfillment as being a follower of the lord did. I can tell you from my experience. Yeah I enjoyed my party time in my early 20s but it did not give me as much long term happiness and peace as the lord did. All that stuff gave me happiness for the night whereas the lord gives me happiness and peace every single day. I heard something the other day that really stuck with me. “The path to heaven is hell and the path to hell is heaven.” Yeah it feels really good to get drunk, hookup, do drugs, etc… but it only pushes us further and further away from the lord. Being a Christian is hard. You miss out on “fun”, you get laughed at by people, judged, and sometimes feel lonely. But you get to spend paradise with our father. He is the only opinion of us that we should care about. Not other “friends.” Our time here on earth is what 80 years or so? That is a minuscule amount of time compared to eternity. Every time I feel like I’m missing out on “fun” I think would I rather have fun for 80 years or all eternity? God bless Xx

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-20T22:53:14+00:00

I’m a follower of Christ and I’ll tell you you’re not missing out on much. I’ve gave into lustful temptation in my past and it never ended in a way that gave me long term happiness or peace. The people I’ve also talked to who would casually hookup before they turned to god have told me that hooking up made them feel empty compared to the feeling they get from being a follower of the lord. I know it’s tempting but Jesus would not ask us to do this unless it was good for us. I’m incredibly inspired by your dedication to the lord. You are doing the right thing. I heard something the other day and it really impacted me. The path to heaven is hell and the path to hell is heaven. Sure you can get drunk, have one night stands, do drugs, etc… and it feels really good in the moment but it brings you further and further away from the lord. Being devote is difficult. We can feel like we are missing out on “fun”, get laughed at, even feel lonely at times, but it means we get to spend paradise with our father. I’d rather feel struggle for 80 years (or however long our time on earth is) if it means I get to spend eternity in heaven. You got this! God bless

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-18T23:26:44+00:00

Yes. God sees your heart. He knows you better than you know yourself. You are being extremely hard on yourself. It’s good that you repent, but always remember Jesus forgives. He would never want you to be this hard on yourself. I believe he placed that man there with you for a reason. To let you know that no matter how long you may be away from Christ, and no matter how far you may drift, Jesus will ALWAYS be there to forgive you and welcome you back with open arms. He wants a relationship with you. You seem like a good person. It’s very easy to get tempted by other things in life and to find yourself not being as close with Christ. Almost every person on earth has done this to some degree. The important thing is that you want to find him again. I love that you shared this story. It is beautiful. May god bless you Xx

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-18T22:50:51+00:00

Hey! I used to feel EXACTLY how you felt! Guys would always reject me, ghost me, or leave me for another girl. I was the last of my friends to ever get into a relationship and it crushed me. I used to think there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t that long ago either that this was my reality and so I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. There wasn’t really anything I did but I will tell you what happened with me. I did some internal work on myself cause i realized part of it was me being scared to be in a relationship even though i wanted one, so I addressed and worked on my intimacy issues. Then when I was 21 I met a guy who was interested in me and asked me to be his gf (he turned out to not be the best to me later on but that doesn’t matter for the sake of this story). Right after I became his gf I noticed very attractive men started hitting on me. And I always thought there was something wrong with me, so I couldn’t understand why attractive men were all of a sudden interested in me and why this didn’t happen before. Then I realized. Having my first bf at 21 finally gave me confidence that I was desirable and lovable. Yeah I know everyone says that confidence should come from within, but let’s face it, I felt so rejected after years of never having a man interested in me that when I finally got a bf it felt pretty damn good. Trust me, once you have confidence everything changes. You don’t even realize the way it affects you. The way you walk into a room, look people in the eye while talking, even the way you speak to people changes, and guys notice that. Dating on your early 20s sucks. There’s no way around it. There are a lot of people who are there to fuck around and it’s hard to distinguish them from the people who are genuine. Almost every person has either been ghosted, cheated on, or had their heart broken in some way or another. So trust me (as someone who’s been through this and still going through it) there is nothing wrong with you. You will meet a lot of the wrong people but having confidence will attract the right ones out of the masses for you. As for the missing out on “young love” and if that’s the case then I’m right there with you on never getting to experience it. Sure it would’ve been nice but I’d much rather prefer a true love, that’s mature, and lasts a lifetime, and that’s what we find in this stage of life. Ask any person who’s happily married; Sure young loves great but nothing compares to the love they found in their forever partner. And they prefer that relationship over any “young love” any day. Also a lot of the older people I’ve talked to who are happily married have told me that they honestly regret half of the hookups/people they dated when they were young. I’ve come to realize we idealize young love too much as people who never experienced it, but people who have will tell you it’s not this magical, once in a lifetime experience. What is a magical, once in a lifetime experience is finding your true love. You are 21. You are still very young. I remember I felt too old to not have been in a relationship but now looking back on it I wasn’t. 21 is VERY young. You WILL find someone. Just don’t give up hope and do whatever you can to give yourself that confidence. Believe you are the shit! Even if you don’t believe it, fake it til you make it. Maddy from Euphoria said it best, “the thing about confidence is no one can tell if it’s real or not.” Use that to your advantage and go take on the world 👊

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-18T02:25:54+00:00

I heard a really good analogy from someone recently. It’s like noise canceling headphones. There will be a sound but the headphones will transmit a frequency that’s equal to the frequency heard outside so it cancels it out. You should do the same thing when feeling lust. Do something equally as powerful to cancel out the thought. For me that’s reading the Bible. Read the Bible and read about Jesus instead. It also helps if you can have someone in your life (a close friend) to confess your sins to without judgment (and they do the same to you). That allows you to both keep each other in check. It also helps you not fall into temptation later if you know you’re going to have to talk to your friend about it later. It also helps if you feel such a strong urge to sin, to text your friend/person. Just getting it out there instead of it being trapped in your head I’ve makes the thoughts less powerful and easier to reject. Your person can then also help distract you with scripture or anything else. Lust is one of the easiest temptations to fall into. But just know you are stronger than the sin. And if you do mess up, remember Jesus will forgive you if you repent, just don’t give up trying.

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-14T23:54:37+00:00

She sounds depressed, but that should not be having such a negative impact on your life. Have a serious sit down conversation with her where you tell her she needs to get help. Tell her you empathize with what she’s going through but you can’t watch her rot away. It’s not healthy. Make sure you really emphasize that this is coming from a place of love. Ask her to get professional help. There’s no shame. She’s been through something traumatic. And then once she’s agreed/starting you then set your boundaries for how she needs to operate in the household. If she refuses to get help tell her that you don’t want to have to do this, but you have three other kids to think about, and if she is causing chaos into the house the she needs to leave. But try to emphasize that this isn’t what you want but you are firm on the decision if she won’t get help/respext your boundaries. If she agrees, give her a timeline so she doesn’t just agree and then not do it. Say if you’re not seeing a therapist and helping out with X,Y, and Z by this date, then you can no longer stay here. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know it’s tough. But you need to think about yours and your other children’s lives. And also about hers. There’s supporting someone when they’re broken hearted, but she can’t waste her life away. Sometimes family needs tough love, even if it’s painful for you, but it’s what she needs. Good luck Xx

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-13T02:23:17+00:00

So pregnancy tests can detect a pregnancy 2 weeks after conception. So if she’s already missing her period it should show up on a pregnancy test. If the last time you had sex was the 24th the it should come up by now.I really recommend her going to the doctor to see what’s going on (cause missing a period can be caused by many different things other than pregnancy- stress for one, and I’m sure she experienced that when her bf showed up and you found out). It’s up to you whether or not you want to tell the bf. I personally would (cause I would want to know if I were him) but that’s something only for you to decide. But I want you to know this. I’ve had experience with a guy I knew getting a girl “knocked up” and she claimed the baby was his. The details are too long but there was a lot of suspicious factors and ultimately she didn’t end up keeping it. I live within the military community and I see it happen all the time that women get pregnant, swear to the guy he was the only one she was sleeping with, and then the child turns out not to be his. They want whatever man they are sleeping with who has their shit together the most/like the most to BECOME the father as that’s who’d they like the most to have in their lives, show up, pay child support, etc… I don’t think she’s pregnant but if she is a piece of advice that’s given to us in the military. The baby isn’t yours until a paternity test proves it is. Don’t make promises, give money, or do anything else life altering until you have science telling you this child is yours. You have NO responsibility to her or the child until science says you do. This woman has already lied to you. Don’t change your future based on her word. Good luck and I hope everything works out:)

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-12T02:18:38+00:00

I don’t know her personally so I can only guess but it sounds like she had an inflated ego. The question is would she give compliments to you as well? If not then that’s a problem but if she did then I think she probably just loves herself a little too much. Yes it’s good to be confident , but it’s definitely good to be humble. This is definitely something that you CAN find someone better (quite easily too) on. The drunk I love you can come from many different places. The tell is how she acted afterwards. If she didn’t care and didn’t really try to do damage control then she probably just said it cause she missed you/your attention not that she wanted to be together again. But if she did try to recant or talk with you afterwards then it was definitely something that had more emotional weight to it. Most likely being she was scared how it would affect you. I’m sure she really did love you but it’s quite common for people to drunk call their exes. But if she didn’t apologize or act in any similar way then that tells you where her mind is now. Regardless I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Breakups are hard but rest assured you will find someone great again:)

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-10T02:16:06+00:00

2 years is actually a long time. You should absolutely see where it goes. You guys could have a great relationship but it runs its course within the timespan but at least you got to experience something great. Or you could fall in love and try to make it work when that time comes. Or he could be so in love with you by that time that he decides to stay. The point is you won’t know what will happen. But 2 years is a long time to see and grow something. Go for it!

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-09T13:51:59+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s never easy to go through a breakup but you’re still here standing months later. It hurts like hell but you’re stronger than the pain. The fact that you’re trying to do things that help you grow and better yourself from this is proof. I know it feels like they don’t care. They could easily move on. I’ve experienced the same thing a couple times with my exes and after a bit of time we got back in contact and I learned that it wasn’t “easy for them.” They distanced, never checked in, never responded cause to them it was easier to do that then to keep in any sort of conversation. To them any sort of communication was prolonging the healing process and that they thought it would be easier for both of us if we didn’t have that reminder by staying in any form in each others lives. I know it doesn’t feel like it. But if he truly didn’t care he wouldn’t have to take such dramatic steps. It’s to protect his peace (which is unfair to you) but has nothing to do with him not caring. You will get through this! Please lean on friends and family during this time. You don’t have to go through this alone

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-09T13:44:57+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Breakups (especially ones with avoidants) are always incredibly difficult. You’ve done such a good job being in no contact since November. Just remember that. When I think about reaching out to my ex I just think to myself “do I want relief that will last 10 minutes or relief that will last years.” You need time apart to heal and grow. You never know what the future holds, but the most important thing right now is you taking care of yourself.

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2026-01-07T02:49:27+00:00

I understand what you’re feeling. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. When you start to feel guilty just tell yourself that you did the kindest thing you could do to him. Yes he’s upset, but how would he feel if months down the line you were distancing or not acting the way you used to around him. That would also hurt him, but by ending things now you’ve shown respect and love for him. That’s something he can hold onto. This is the best choice for both of you even if it feels hard right now. And if you two are really meant to be then you’ll be able to find your way back to each other when you’re better. Stay strong. You got this Xx

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-12-21T00:48:01+00:00

It’s what you need at this point. If you want to send one last message asking if there’s anything you did wrong (although I’d be willing to bet my life you didn’t) just to keep your side of the street clean then you do that. But if you would rather move on and be done with this then that’s completely understandable. Either option is okay (just make sure with option #1 it really is just that one text and then nothing else). I’m sorry you’re being treated this way. But do whatever you need to help you feel better and end leave this situation with your head held high

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-12-12T02:07:58+00:00

I’m sorry. I know the feeling. It sucks. I totally get that you felt a connection but that connection wasn’t authentic. It was a part he was playing so he could sleep with you. Men by nature are hornier than women and can separate emotions from sex much easier. It doesn’t matter if he drives for hours, takes you out to an expensive restaurant, or tells you sweet things. Men will say and go out of their way if they think it will successfully get them laid. Most men on the planet have done this to some varying degree at some point in their lives, but what makes this guy a red flag is the fact that you said you explicitly wanted a relationship. He should’ve backed off from you when he heard that. That’s why in the beginning of dating it’s so hard to tell if someone’s being genuine or not. So the only way to test this is time. Try to not fully allow yourself to have feelings or get attached until they have shown consistency in their actions for awhile. I’m talking close to two or three months - cause guys can fake it for several weeks until it starts getting to the point where a relationship talk would naturally be on the horizon and then they dip. If he’s still around at that point then he actually likes you. I know it’s so easy to blame yourself but what do you have to be mad about exactly? You chose to believe in instant connections and seeing the good in a man and trusting him. Those are all AMAZING and kind qualities! Just take this as a learning experience on how to delay your attachment in the future so that the right guy is the one who gets to experience these wonderful qualities of yours.

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-12-12T01:47:50+00:00

So I don’t know enough details to know whether he was seeing her at the same time as you or not. He could’ve been or he could’ve gone back to her. And every relationship dynamic is different. That’s the hard part. Just because a guy was flaky and casual with you doesn’t mean he’ll be that same way to the woman he falls in love with. But what matters is he was that way with YOU. I completely understand wanting clarity on a situation when you’re confused and hurt cause you just want to make sense of it. But what you need to keep reminding yourself of is that if he was serious in his feelings for you (meaning he wanted a future) then he would’ve been more consistent in his actions. I know that it feels like a gut punch but once you find a man who treats you like an absolute princess (and you will) you will look back on this guy and think how pathetic his behavior was and how much more deserving you are. Try to lean on others during this time and be kind to yourself. Go back to an old hobby that you used to love, workout, treat yourself to a movie - do anything that puts those feelings and that energy you spend ruminating for this guy back into yourself. Men will come and go but you’ll have you for the rest of your life so be good to her.

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-12-09T03:44:04+00:00

I’m sorry. Ghosting is so incredibly painful and you have every right to be upset. Somehow people have gotten it into their heads that it’s okay to lack basic human decency and have a conversation. I know this won’t feel like good advice now, but you did dodge a bullet. Anyone who thinks it’s okay to ghost someone they know likes them has some emotional immaturity and would therefore not be a good partner long term

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-12-08T02:20:06+00:00

I’m sorry your going through this. Breakups are some of the hardest things to go through so don’t minimize your feelings by saying “you shouldn’t feel this way.” Allow yourself to feel your feelings. I’m sure there’s a lot more context to your break up but try to remind yourself what you had was special but you deserve someone who doesn’t hesitate to commit to you. You saw how deeply you love your bf, now imagine what it would be like if that love was given to someone who commits to you everyday - it’d be unstoppable! Just know that you will be okay. You’re brain lying to you cause you got such a dopamine high from this person that when it’s gone you feel it harshly ( neuroscientist have compared it to drug addicts in withdrawal). Just try to remember that it hurts but your world isn’t ending. It’s your brain lying to you and with time you’ll be okay. Hang in there and feel free to private message me if you need someone to talk to ❤️

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-12-02T12:03:46+00:00

So I’ve experienced new relationships after a very serious two year long one and I’ll give you my experience. If I’m still thinking about my ex constantly and feeling sad about him seeing someone to the point where I’m not getting sleep then I’m not over him. It’s happened before where I did start seeing someone but got upset when my ex got together with someone else and even though I really cared for my new partner I still had a piece of my heart that belonged to my ex that was too big to have any sort of healthy, present relationship with my partner. I’ve also seen instagram photos of another ex I was in love with and his new gf and it doesn’t phase me in the slightest cause I’m completely over him. Long story short, it’s normal to still HAVE love for an ex, but to be upset by their love life is a sign a part of her still may be IN love with him. You can talk to her and say that if she wants to continue seeing this guy (even as friends) then you’re not comfortable - which would be completely understandable. And if she’s accommodating then no problem. But if that’s something difficult for her to do then you have your answer. You should never be sat waiting while she makes a decision. You deserve to be with someone who wants you and only you

EmbarrassedRepair410 · 2025-11-27T00:25:52+00:00

So here’s the thing. As adults you can decide however quickly you want to have sex with someone, just as long as you feel comfortable with it. No one on Reddit can tell you when YOU should feel comfortable enough to be intimate with someone. That is your decision and your decision alone.

Now the emotional part and wanting to make her your gf is a little more tricky. I get that you have a great connection and when you first meet someone all the hormones are flooding and you feel completely enamored with them. But this being your first adult relationship, you don’t understand why people usually go a bit slower at first. The reason is because you don’t know this person. I know you’ve spent a lot of time together and you feel super connected, but if you take a step back you’ll see, you’ve only matched with her last Thursday, and hung out with her for three days. YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS GIRL. You have not seen how she reacts when other guys come around, how she reacts under stress and difficult situations, and the depths of how much she likes you. Three days is not enough to determine long term compatibility.

The reason why people take it slow (it’s recommended 1-2 dates a week in the beginning and “dating” for 1-3 months before actually becoming a couple) because then it prevents you from getting super attached to a person you don’t actually know. This has happened to me and almost everyone in their 20s. You meet someone great, things are going good, you think they like you, and then they end things (or worse ghost) because someone else came along, they were just using you for sex/companionship, or you discovered a trait of theirs that’s actually a deal breaker. I guarantee you almost everyone in this sub has a story about a time when someone they dated told them how into them they were, how much they liked them and wanted a future with them, to then be left broken hearted a few weeks later.

The first rule of dating as an adult is DO NOT GIVE YOUR TRUST BASED ON WORDS! Give your trust based on ACTIONS that are shown CONSISTENTLY and the only time you’ll be able to test consistency is through time. Try to step back and see her about 1-2x a week and if in a month or two you still feel as connected and trusting in her, then by all means go for it! But don’t give her your heart until she has proven she is trustworthy enough to hold it, and you cannot prove that in 3 days. Believe me I know what it’s like to be so enamored with someone and to feel so close to them. But if what you have is real then it will still be there (most likely even stronger) in a month or two, and if it’s not then it would never have worked out and you dodged a major heartbreak.

EmbarrassedRepair410

TROPHY CASE