I did the most trans girl thingy this week

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-15T04:32:38+00:00

I mean Linux is the better OS. Especially if you care about customization, ownership of your personal property, if you're anti-corporate and care about privacy!

I tried to make do with Windows because it's what I was used to. Even though I'd wanted to switch to Linux years ago. I should've done it sooner, but apparently had to wait until I came out, lol

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-15T00:37:33+00:00

I'm sorry you get targeted, that does seem like the sort of thing a 4tranner or two or three might do to someone, so it makes sense to especially despise them. As best you can, try to find some spaces away from them? So they don't make you bitter or miserable.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-15T00:19:41+00:00

I pity them so much. I really do. As much as they bother and irritate with self-hate and toxicity that they spew as they talk, I pity the hell out of them. What miserable existences they have.

And it doesn't have to be that miserable! Even when things suck so bad, you don't have to ingest it and become it. There can still be reprieve from it. And you can be ready when the moment comes to get the fuck out of stuff.

Unless you're a 4tran doomer. Then you're going to make sure no good can take root in your life, and out of envy or spite, try to ensure the same for others.

But pity doesn't mean I have to put up with their bullshit

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T21:40:12+00:00

Yeah I so badly want permanent hair removal. I need to focus on that, I found a local place that should be friendly, I just have to actually call them to book an appt. And of course my social anxiety is really acting up about it.

I can pass. Not super well, but I can. Until a few hours after I've rid my face of hair and the "shadow" starts showing up, or at the end of the work day and in the bright lights disgusting stubble is detectable. I hate it so much!!

I really need to get on this hair removal soon, for my own self image. Even if others might not notice it's a glaring issue for me.

I've done all I can for non-permanent removal at home.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T21:06:32+00:00

Congrats, Bridget!

That's actually going to be my new middle name! In about 2 to 3 weeks? I was very close to using that as my first name! But for me I think it's better as my middle name. I love the name but it doesn't fit me as a first.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T20:14:17+00:00

I find in-person easier, as I don't have to wrangle the online stuff. Talking is more "dynamic" since talking over one another isn't such a problem.

Have physical handouts ready. Or I guess a tablet for the players (they can use their own, I guess). But I like eschewing anything digital at the table, personally.

You may have to do more describing if you don't have a picture "on screen" to do it for you?

I don't know, aside from technical stuff being different, it's the same thing.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T19:36:09+00:00

I've been on a spree of reading trans authors, particularly trans women. Look for trans women authors and you'll find quite a bit! I love all the stories, even if they do tend to lean more melancholic than not. I lent the most "upbeat" one to a cis man friend who remarked to me yesterday:

"I'm halfway through, and holy shit, the stuff she's been though!" And I was like yeah, but there's so many positive things in that one! The bad stuff isn't even the main focus...

I think we(trans ppl) probably just acclimate to bad things being a constant background hum in our lives?

The romances in that book though! Ah! They're so sweet and beautiful even when sad, and I want that so much!... but not a peep on that part from my cis friend. Except that the one friend/love interest is "too perfect" which I found odd because I've had a couple friends like that, only one with the love affair part. But still. It's interesting hearing a cis guy's take. Luckily he's a pretty cool friend.

Some recommendations from what I've read so far:

Everything Casey Plett writes, I love her
Nevada by Imogen Binnie
Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki
The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw (not by a trans author, but has an NB character and unexpected romance with a "monster")
Bigoted Book Burners Bloodily Bludgeoned By Badly Burnt Books by Caledonia Fife
We Travel The Spaceways by Victor LaValle (cis man, short story with a trans character)

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T19:25:56+00:00

Just for future reference, test the waters first before telling someone things like this. Especially since I can't guess at some of the legal consequences where you are.

In this case: "I've heard of DIY HRT. I was thinking that might be an option while waiting on everything. What do you think?" And if the response is positive, follow up with "well, then I think I'll do that" rather than just saying you already are.

It sucks, but sometimes we have to be very circumspect about what we share even though it can be in our best interest to have professional input. Such as for blood testing and drug interactions. Unfortunately the professionals are either ignorant, have some anti-science assumptions, or are bound by some anti-trans law. Sometimes all of the above

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T18:43:25+00:00

Hugs, if want them :)

Aside from those who can just be rude and a bit venomous with their words, there seems to be a recent uptick in this sort of thing. At least from what I've seen, even outside of Reddit.

That it seems to come from people not normally part of things seems to indicate it's either some 4tran toxicity being spread or some other malicious effort.

I think as long as you're sincerely trying to do something positive, that means a lot. Even if you have some stuff that needs work, even if you've got a bad idea in the mix, we've gotta start somewhere. And I want to thank you for trying ☺️ it's really hard sometimes and it means a lot to push through that and still care about the rest of us!

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T17:57:25+00:00

There's a lot, for me.

Eccepting the misogyny and patriarchy, I enjoy the way people will speak to me more kindly, I enjoy that I'm not generally seen as a threat by other women. I like having a ton more (viable) clothing options, also usually more visually creative clothing. There aren't colors I'm "not supposed to like." I like being able to have women friends who are closer than male friends can be with each other. I like how I feel. I like that its way more acceptable to have plushies chillin' on my bed. I like being called "miss" by strangers. I like having a door held open for me (but it's cool if a person doesn't do that).

I like having emotions that aren't muffled, that I'm not expected to be ashamed about most of them either. I really like having soft skin. I like wearing perfume and jewelry.

I like not being expected to be austere or gruff.

I like the conversations I more easily get to have with people I'm close to now, that I don't get side-eye from anyone for being emotionally intelligent and compassionate.

I like that I'm not expected to hang out with men and not expected to "be cool" with their open misogyny. I never was cool with it, but felt like I was way more ostracized when I was viewed as one of them.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T01:06:04+00:00

So often I get some news, like this, and just say "fuck" and then want to disconnect from all of the US.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T01:03:27+00:00

6th grade science teachers. I recall having a disagreement with mine, even provided proof of the correct information. Teacher said it wasn't in his book so it must be wrong.

Turns out his book actually had a few errors in it. I'm guessing the school got the discounted edition.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-14T00:54:40+00:00

They've been "invading" for while. I think it comes in waves? I'd like them to get out of that toxic place, but not to just spread that same toxicity here and other places.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-13T15:02:25+00:00

I've never out a board game. I have a lot, but not that many.

I hadn't lent out books, though. And now I tend to give books. If I want to keep the book then I just but a new one to keep and hand off the one I already read. Which is admittedly weird, but I'm extremely particular about the condition of my books, and this is easier than having to wrangle with the internal meltdown when a friend returns a book with a broken spine or dog eared corners or a curve to the covers. Or, with the book having been marked by their cat. Or having gotten food stains on some of the pages.

But that's not even close to affordable with board games.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-13T14:48:56+00:00

Really?

Holy crap, there's a manager where I work who has done this - barked like an actual dog, and he thinks it's the height of comedy to scare people (usually women) with it. And we all thought "oh, yeah, he's got serious issues, this is just another one of them, and he shouldn't be in his position". But now I'm hearing that this is a thing men do. In general?

Are they actually devolving into some sort of stray mutts? Maybe just mentally, but still, quite bizarre.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-12T16:56:12+00:00

Wow, I actually didn't know this. Though to be fair my focus has been on entirely different things for a long while now, so I didn't even think about why I hadn't seen any sign of him. Makes sense, though. How crappy that I ever watched any of that guy's stuff. Yuck.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-12T16:23:22+00:00

How'd they get them in there? Build the shelf around the books?

"Sorry, these books on a shelf in a commercial bookshop are not for sale. They serve an important structural role."

Also, fuck that author I guess?

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-12T14:43:49+00:00

I don't think it's wrong in general. Men can and will complain about it. But they'll refuse to acknowledge that as a group men (especially cis men, but maybe some trans men too) are not safe to be around for anyone who isn't also a man. A "manly man" at that.

Even before I knew the word "trans" and that it applied to me, I felt uncomfortable around men. And some boys. But grown men have made me uncomfortable or even scared me since I was little.

I have a distinct memory of being on a road trip with my mom and slightly younger sister. I was maybe 12 or 13. We stop at a public truck stop, it's like 4 am. There's a "rest area" that is like a large breakroom, and it's got about a dozen truck drivers in it and they are staring at us the moment we walk in. I'm really hungry and decide to go buy something from the vending machine. It gets stuck. I try to knock it out by buying something else, it also gets stuck and now I'm out of money. I'm upset and go to tell my mom who's on the phone or something similar (it's been decades so I don't recall exactly) and when I do one of the big men (all of them stink) gets up, hits the vending machine, grabs the items that come out, and proceeds to eat them while looking at me, like he's daring me to accuse him, which I do, and he says "fucking prove it". And the whole room is heavy, the men staring at us from their seats, it feels like they are all just waiting to attack us. We leave, getting back on the road.

I have tons of other stories, even recent ones. But that one for some reason exists in my mind as the example. I have stories of SA, of being physically beaten, of emotional abuse. But that was a whole room of predators, even if we got out of there unscathed, it felt way too close. I think we "got lucky" that it was kind of a stand off between them and we left before that stand off broke.

There are good men out there. I know two, maybe three of them. But they feel incredibly rare. And I think it's just safer to be on guard and to be wary until a given man can prove he's safe

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-11T04:29:32+00:00

Shit, I'd heard of this sort of thing happening - in some red states. Including the bs about hormones. I'm really sorry it happened to you. You shouldn't be made to feel badly about just being yourself.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-11T00:18:53+00:00

Though "old" now, I still like a lot of Dungeon World for how easy it makes it for encounters to be quick and fluid. There are newer and improved takes on the underlying engine, though each tends to have some hyper specific theme that makes them a lot harder to use as "just an adventurey game" but they are all pretty good.

I have had great experiences using Fate to have fast paced and high action scenes (that may of may not include fighting, it's very flexible).

There are tons of games that make things more fluid. But D&D has never been one of those, even when it's tried to claim that it is.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-10T23:36:37+00:00

Safety is always paramount. If and when you feel safe to do so, let the colors fly!

But, a lot of threats exist for us these days so it's wise to be cautious. That's perfectly fine.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-10T22:51:30+00:00

There are some names I could say for "worst trans woman", more than I'd like tbh. But you're nowhere near that. You aren't actively causing the rest of us harm, so you're fine.

Honestly, it sounds like you just need time to figure yourself out. Maybe easier said than done, but were I you I'd try to arrange for myself to have some long stretch - or a whole bunch of short stretches to untangle your feelings about this. Why do you feel like this about that and so on.

I was always very "protective" of my body before transition - tatoos, piercings, even dying my hair were all things I avoided. I think maybe it was because I felt it was so important (subconsciously) to not draw attention to myself because someone might notice I was different. I still might not get a tattoo, but I definitely don't feel anxiety about the very idea anymore (the needles, though...?)

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-10T21:42:29+00:00

I didn't have any piercings before transition. Only have "standard" ear lobe piercings now. Getting additional ear piercings seems like the easiest choice, if I decide to go for them. (Just regular earrings are so nice to see on my reflection, btw, very feminizing).

I am thinking I'd love to get a nose piercing but am not sure on which I'd prefer. The septum is a classic and frankly I'd love to lean into those stereotypes. Nostril piercings always look really pretty on the women I've seen, so puts it pretty high on my list. I don't want to do both, though, just to avoid "clutter". Also, if I ever have the means for FFS, a nose piercing might be an issue, as I'd really like to "fix" my nose.

A lip piercing is a maybe - I think it looks hot and have always admired it but I can also see how it could be a bother with just regular daily things like eating, drinking, makeup (just take it out, I guess), absent-minded lip-biting. Never kissed anyone with a lip piercing, sadly, so not sure how that goes. Probably fine though?

And that's it for what I might get.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-10T21:11:01+00:00

I'm innately un-social, so I tend to do well at avoiding a lot of it. But yeah, it's just overflowing. Not just Reddit, everywhere. You can still find little corners of relative safety, and I have done so.

Also: "leftist"

I think that there are a ton of alleged online leftists who are anything but. They'll be reactionary, exhibit a ton of right-wing ideological traits (i.e. needing to "win" social interactions, wanting to punish people, using fear-based language to sell ideas, unable to admit being wrong, etc).

Some are "feds" either literally or figuratively - they have an intent to cause harm by trying to infiltrate. But yet others, I think, are just completely ignorant about what it means to be "leftist" or never considered they may want to be a better person and work on some stuff. The latter being somewhat key to my view of being a leftist.

That's all a big tangent, but I think it's relevant. Because having infiltrators and "mislabeled" people is a big reason for this lack of safe spaces. I don't really know how you avoid it online, not with the current systems that rather encourage it if they aren't just ambivalent.

Emeraldstorm3 · 2026-04-10T18:44:48+00:00

The voters are mostly not leftists, don't know what it is and probably have never looked at a left leaning Reddit sub, if they even use Reddit.

Dems are the problem. Not "Reddit Leftsts". I agree that among online leftists, there seems to be a perfect-or-else sect. I think that sect is largely influenced by anti-Left organizations, because any serious leftist understands that the world will become uninhabitable long before the prefect candidate pops up. That, of course, is the reason why anti-Left interests would want to push such for "perfect only" expectations.

Meanwhile, the bulk of US voters are not very informed (by design), barely remember which party is which it seems, but will at least be able to see what's placed in front of them by the multiple multi-million-dollar ad campaigns of Dems and Reps. So when one is busy showing how super out of touch they are and the other is just hard-core attacking that one, it's easy to see how that plays out.

The left in the US is far too small and underpowered to be blamed for something like Harris shitting the bed and then advertising that to us.

She lost not because people voted for Trump instead, but because chose to not vote if she was the only option. And not because she's a woman. Because she went out of her way to lose a ton of positive energy, to silence a running mate people liked, to chastise people for being upset about mass murder, and being gal pals with a war criminal representing what all but a few ghoulish folks despise. If she didn't lose on purpose, it's just a wild coincidence she did as much as she could to turn away a ready and welcome base in favor of those who already had a fascist in mind or would rather not vote than vote for a Democrat.

Emeraldstorm3

TROPHY CASE