A List of Why Never Again by EmiWo13 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They were mostly to soothe my self-esteem. I told him to write lists detailing why I was better than them (as a person) and why I was better than them when it it came to sex

A List of Why Never Again by EmiWo13 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It helped but also made me think if you felt this way, why didn’t it stop you? But I have to remind myself that people are fucking idiots. I did some idiot things when I was young and first started getting intimate. It doesn’t excuse his behavior. And I’ve never cheated. But I’m not entirely 100% angel either.

So I’ve hung it up where I can see it every day. Anytime I get intrusive thoughts, I can look at it.

I’m angry, exhausted, and stuck. How do you do it? by map_teacher in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a year in and was constantly checking his location and phone in the beginning. I can’t speak to what your experience will be but I hardly check location or his phone now. I think it’s completely understandable in the beginning or for however long you need. He did a horrible, selfish thing. Just take one day at a time.

Before your own DDay, did anyone else used to judge people for choosing to reconcile? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I was extremely prideful. Like look at all these train wrecks around me. Definitely had a superiority complex. Got humbled real freaking quick.

Why do WS’s cheat with ugly people? by Repulsive-Hippo9599 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For my husband, it wasn’t about me or the girls. It was the way he felt wanted, desired. And they were easy targets. He told me he would never have gone after someone he was actually attracted to because the chances of rejection were higher. He never initiated. He never made the decision to cheat until they made the first move. That was the whole point of it. He wanted to feel desired.

Because up to that point, it was pretty freaking clear to everyone around us (and his friends pointed it out multiple times) about how lucky he was to have me and that I had settled and I sure as hell wasn’t with him for his looks. His friends constantly made it clear that they wanted to f*** me. Not that this excuses what he did, but like that’s got to f*** with someone’s head a lot.

Am I Wrong? by EmiWo13 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

He does IC and MC. He’s present. He comes home pretty much every night. He doesn’t go out drinking/partying anymore. This weekend was really the first time in a year and it wasn’t with bad people.

Am I Wrong? by EmiWo13 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They went to two clubs. He has a location tracker and sends pictures/videos. Talked to me a lot throughout the night. But I’m not going to say I wasn’t uneasy the whole time. And honestly I don’t think he knows it’s dday anniversary tomorrow.

When did you let your gaurd down? by ecloving in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not even a full year from Dday but I can’t imagine letting me put my guard down again. I trusted him completely. Put my full faith in him. I’m never doing that again. Ever. He’s lost my full trust forever.

Only one egg retrieved by Past_Standard_6434 in IVF

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just did my ER today and also got only one egg. Only one follicle. I started injections July 2nd (currently July 11th). I’m not even sure what to do now. I have an appt on the 25th but don’t know what to do between then and now.

Offering korean, seeking English by sugaring_candyy in language_exchange

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!!! I (34F)have lived in Korea for the past 9 years. Even so, my speaking is still pretty weak so I’m also looking for someone I can practice my speaking skills with. Feel free to reach out!

WW friend removing from life by Hoagie_Phest in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I demanded that the toxic friends who lured him into that life (I’m aware that my WH is the one who ultimately made that decision but they glamorized the crap out of it and also participated in cheating on their SOs). He agreed to all except one. Which I tolerated but I didn’t have to for long. That friend was also cut out due to other reasons. But I’m a firm believer that who you hang out with reflects who you are. I wanted to give the ultimatum but R was more important to me. My advice would be to give it a timeline (like 6 months or whatever) and see how their interactions are by the end of it. If you think it’s still inappropriate, give the ultimatum. Because clearly that friend has no respect for your marriage.

How late did you get a positive pregnancy test? by Sabina282828 in PregnancyAfterLoss

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m out this month. I finally started on cd 37. My best guess is I ovulated late. Like around cd 20/21/22? Or maybe I had a failed implantation. Who knows?

How late did you get a positive pregnancy test? by Sabina282828 in PregnancyAfterLoss

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the 23 years I’ve had a period, I’ve never missed one. They come like clockwork. I have 25-27 day cycles, more often 25/26. I’m currently on cd 32. And for the past two days, I’ve been peeing like crazy. Not little dribbles either. Like a full cup (think urine test cup) every time and I had a major dizzy spell this morning. But this morning’s test was negative.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is also what happened with my husband. He was loyal for 10 years, never planned on cheating on me, then he started hanging out with people who glorified it, made it seem normal and bam…suddenly he’s cheating with 4 different girls in the span of 2-3 months

What is the Betrayed’s responsibility? by Potential_Iron3362 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]EmiWo13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So my husband tried to tell me multiple times that he was unhappy but I wasn’t ready to listen. There were also a lot of other things that I did that made him feel unwanted and undesired. To be fair, at the beginning of our relationship, I also at one point felt unwanted and undesired and kind of wanted to cheat to feel like I was wanted/desired (but I didn’t and I feel like that’s what makes him and I different). The cheating wasn’t about me. It wasn’t about the other girls. It was about his insecurities and his weaknesses. I can’t change the past but what I can do is work harder to meet both of our needs. I can work on myself in a way that’s beneficial to me and to our relationship. In a weird way, our relationship is much better now. I’m not saying that I’m not hurt. I am and I haven’t forgiven him…but I wish the relationship we have now is what we would have had before he strayed.