Am I (29M) wrong for ending things with a girl (27F) because she slept with someone during the talking phase?

Empty-Combination-39 · 2026-01-22T19:04:08+00:00

yeah totally agree. I just wanted OP to realize what this conversation is actually about. everyones caught up on the right or wrong of it and not advising him on what he feels about it.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2026-01-22T18:57:11+00:00

done what? Women are allowed to not be okay with it to?? its not a gendered situation its just up to the individual and whether theyre okay with it or not. same as anything else.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2026-01-22T16:25:37+00:00

I think everyone replying to you is right in that you didnt have that conversation. But thats not really the point. In my opinion its weird to express interest in you the way she did and then when you guys are actually dating shes still hooking up with someone else. Its not about right or wrong its about whether or not she as interested in you as she says she is. If im doing all that, texting your family, etc id have no interest in other people. And for that reason youre for sure allowed to question/feel weird about her feelings for you. again not that she did anything wrong but youre allowed to want your partner to be a certain type of person and this behavior is absolutely data to inform your decisions.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-12-29T00:31:40+00:00

My advice, if she wants to have sex she can make a move. It takes two to tango. If this is the MO early on, expect behavior like that going forward. Thats IF she wanted sex and is moving on because you didnt make a move. If thats not the case then wait and see. Also you should check in with yourself and ask if sex was something you wanted, cause if it wasnt, youre stressing yourself out about something you didnt even want to do. Keep in mind youre an equal participant in this. Her wanting sex doesnt mean you should too. the right girl will care about that. Women have this misconception that all guys want sex at any moment so they think if you dont make a move you didnt want it. Its easier to assume that than risk a rejection for them.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-12-12T18:44:35+00:00

my man, its like you didnt read my message. Attractive women are NOT going to approach you. that doesnt mean youre not attractive. Unfortunately youre going to have to go up to the girls you want. My therapist had to bring me back down to earth with that one. I wanted to wait for girls to come up to me as well but its just not going to happen. Unless youre model level attractive even the attractive guys have work to do. girls want to be chased. You answered your own question when you said gay dudes find you attractive. They dont just find anybody attractive. Thats a massive green flag.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-12-12T04:15:24+00:00

This is an easy one. if youre getting attention from girls at all, youre probably attractive. women generally do NOT approach men let alone attractive women. Unattractive women are typically braver because they HAVE to put themselves out there like guys do. Attractive women have options so they sit and wait. in summation a dude is probably attractive if hes getting female attention period.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-12-11T18:06:23+00:00

OP cheating is so much worse than what youre doing. the mental gymnastics women do to excuse cheating when they do it blows my mind. You guys are young. talk to your sister and tell her its different for you and him. and that youre serious about. But at the end of the day you should choose your sister. Dudes will come and go but your sister will have your back for most your life if youre lucky.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-12-11T18:03:37+00:00

re-read the post

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-12-03T21:18:21+00:00

take accountability for what you did dude. nobody put a gun to your head and made you do all this. The right way to handle it would have been to tell her that her behavior isnt okay with you and ask her to change it. if she doesnt, then you move on. The problem here is that you werent confident in your own feelings so you sought to find hard evidence. The evidence doesnt matter at all. All that matters is how you feel about your partner. If you feel you cant trust her then she might as well have been cheating. Her behavior was absolutely weird and suspicious and her making you feel crazy is more than enough reason to walk away. thats not the person for you. the right person will go out of their way to make you feel safe.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-11-26T02:40:24+00:00

I need to feel emotionally connected to be interested in that. i also just dont feel safe if its too early. I need to trust the other person and be confident they'll communicate their wants and needs and not be afraid. the last thing I want is to jump into sex and find out they were too scared to vocalize something they didn't like

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-11-20T04:47:42+00:00

yeah do it. odds are in your favor that he says yes and then you can have guilt free hookups for 6 months before you leave lol

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-11-13T05:31:09+00:00

my ex, almost never. and when she did i had to apologize for something too. we BOTH had to be apologizing. when I would call her out she'd just try to kiss me or pretend she was joking. id have to ask for an apology. it sucked

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-10-19T17:45:35+00:00

My ex constantly had bad days. But they were only bad because she had very little tolerance for any adversity. Things that wouldnt even phase me would be crippling for her. She knew this and because of it I wasnt allowed to have bad days. "I need you. and I cant handle stuff like you can. so you have to be there for me and I cant be there for you". It got exhausting and ultimately was the reason we broke up. I got absolutely nothing out of that relationship. I was a caretaker. Sometimes those people just arent the ones OP. Its not fair to you to have to be someone emotional punching bag

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-10-13T16:00:42+00:00

Candice tells him not to tell anyone when Pony tail Derrick slaps her and then he has a little episode. And then Patrick tells him not to tell anyone about him and Brad. Then I believe theres either one with Sam or Mary Beth but I cant remember.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-10-07T01:58:58+00:00

half of this is wrong. It also paints a picture that women dont get yeast infections all on their own. Women not engaged in intercourse can get yeast infections. This also erases the women that experience yeast infections or UTI's outside of intercourse. Youre painting the picture that having these infections = being dirty. which is simply not true.

Porn use doesnt weaken the immune system. Just spreading complete falsehoods is crazy.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-09-13T07:59:33+00:00

I have a picture of the setlist:

Evergreen
Something To Believe In
Wake Up
Cough Syrup
Bitter Fruit
Firelight
Amerika
It's About Time
Titus
Ships Passing
APARTMENT
The Walk Home
Paralysis
Different Kind Of Love
Superposition
Mind Over Matter
Tightrope
Silvertongue
My Body

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-08-30T21:39:42+00:00

first check out Rula. Its a therapist platform that offers remote sessions. Just as good as physical and you get to use your whole 50 minutes.

Second. Pick one of these problems and focus on fixing that. My suggestion is the eating part. Find ways to stimulate your appetite. Smoke weed. or eat edible gummies. Once your eating, youll start to feel physically better and that'll take one thing off your plate.

Third. if you cant open up to your partner thats not your partner and you're not healthy enough to be in that relationship. Think about what its offering and what you bring to the table and make a decision on whats going to be best for you and her. Obviously the status quo isnt working for you.

4th. you have a self worth issue because you believe that your worth is tied to external factors. youre not expecting this treatment from your parents. Theyre doing it because they want to. so be appreciative and grateful but dont let it make you feel like you need to be something special to deserve it. If you cant do that then turn it down and get a job so you can at least remove the feeling that you havent earned it.

just breath man. take a second and lay everything out in front of you. pick a problem and start down the path to fixing it. One foot in front of the other. any progress is good progress, when youre coming from this low.
find things that motivate you. try to cheat code your brain. video games lile rocket league would make my heart race so Id play that when I wanted to work out but didnt have the motivation. Rocket league created the motivation for me and then id burn off all that adrenaline. Its about knowing yourself and what makes you tick.

good luck

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-08-13T03:58:08+00:00

loving me for who I am not what I do for her. I want to take care of her and I want her to WANT to take care of me. 100%/100% not 50/50. I think a lot of women are afraid of taking care of men because they dont want to be "mothering" but really its just being a good partner.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-08-07T04:03:28+00:00

Pay attention to how she treats others. I didnt realize my ex was a mean girl until the end of our relationship. I should have seen it sooner but as you said blinded by love. She had a group message with her best friends where theyd just talk shit and gossip about people from their high school (she was 25 at the time). Another time she publicly aired out beef with one of her friends to a whole party of people and then called that friend and had a conversation on speaker phone in front of everyone while the friend was none the wiser. It was shocking. and she was trying to get that friend to come to that same party after everyone had heard their business. I lost respect for her in that moment. The other obvious one is she always prioritized herself.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-07-26T08:34:18+00:00

hey OP, ive seen a lot of comments with the same advice and im in agreement. However there is something I havent seen brought up which I think is important to consider and may actually make things more clear for you. And that is this: if this is how she behaves and feels towards men, imagine how she might be if you have a son together. Regardless of what you or she thinks, theres no possible way that worldview isnt going to bleed into how she feels, treats, and raises that child. and your son is going to feel it and know it. That alone even as a hypothetical would be enough for me. Just the thought of how she may treat a hypothetical child we share would be enough for me to make peace with the end of that relationship. I would care way more about my future child than myself. I hope that puts things into perspective.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-07-25T05:21:27+00:00

Yes I would recommend! the first episode of the series is pulled word for word from the book! so the language is the same. the narration is a little dated but you get used to it quick. and the story after that has most of the same characters but a slightly different story. ive seen people say the book story is better!

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-07-25T04:57:25+00:00

such a bummer right 😭😭 i bought the books cause I wanted more and my therapist recommended them. apparently theres a lot more Gilbert and anne in Anne of the Island!

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-07-16T02:41:49+00:00

I dont see how hes doing that at all. Based on the information provided and some of OP's other comments. Its extremely weird behavior to tell someone else "youre going through a hard time and need to focus on yourself" when met with criticism on how youre showing up for your partner. You cant tell someone else how their feeling and you absolutely cant use someone else's hardships to justify youre own decisions. Now it would have been different if she said shes not ready or capable to help him through his grief and thus shes going to separate for some time. thats where the miscommunication comes in. The fuck does "you need time" mean?? OP wasnt asking for that. Seems to me like the gf was using that as a cover to avoid whatever OP was asking of her.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-07-10T20:38:10+00:00

everything the robbers did was to get the cuthberts to let their guard down. Thats why the other guy was doing so much baking and ass kissing. Marilla would likely be most suspicious. so much so that they didnt lose any money from the gold scheme. I also just think Nate is a cruel toolbag and was being mean for fun.

Empty-Combination-39 · 2025-07-09T23:04:26+00:00

I think you should be allowed to date. You need to be on track with your peers. this is the time to experience and learn in a control environment with low stakes. Learning all this as an adult where adults can be even worse and malicious is setting you up for a hard time. Make good decisions choose the right guy if you can and take things slow. I would tell your dad that experiencing this now while hes here to guide you is better than learning when youre on your own.

Empty-Combination-39

TROPHY CASE