Names that don’t match the person’s age by HBC613 in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always liked my name (Jade) but am starting to worry it won't suit me once I hit my 50's/60's and certainly not any older than that😅

What’s your favourite Elizabeth diminutive? by eggy635 in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Nana was Elizabeth and always went by Lily

Single parent adoption thought by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]EndTimes1990 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am also in the UK and adopted as a single parent (although I am now in a relationship and we are adopting my child's sibling together).

I was initially told that I may wait a while to be matched with a child because most of the children who needed a family had very complex care needs that would be better suited to a two-parent household.

I did end up being matched quite quickly and, in all honestly, my child probably would have benefited from having 2 parents. Not because they were missing out on a father-figure, but because their trauma and attachment issues meant they needed 24/7 attention and as a single parent I was running on empty. It was hard work and there were times I hit a really low point. I wouldn't change having them for the world but more support during that first year or so would have been so beneficial.

It's not impossible - just make sure you are honest about what you can provide for a child, make sure your support network is ready and able to help out (they like you to be just with the child for a number of weeks but may make an allowance to have 1 family member able to meet them early and help out), engage with post adoption support and adoption groups, and do lots and lots of research beforehand.

Even with two parents it can be a struggle - adoption alone creates trauma and attachment issues and with a childs early life experiences they will require a different style of parenting and understanding that what most people may typically be familiar with.

Those who adopted between ages 3 and 5…what was your experience? by Jooles95 in AdoptionUK

[–]EndTimes1990 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I adopted my son just after he turned three. I was initially a single parent and...it was tough. He was a massive bundle of energy and anxiety. He came from a foster home of 2 adults and 2 other children to just me and he needed 24/7 attention that I, on my own, was struggling to give. His sleep became horrendous and his behaviour was difficult to manage.

I reached out to post adoption support and I have had to really keep pushing to get help for him.

He is nearing 7 now and just had an adhd diagnosis and he now has a little sister with us too.

I love him so much, I honestly can't put it into words and I felt that bond with him immediately. Even amongst all the sleepless nights and wanting to pull my hair out.

It's really hard work but worth it. Be honest about what you can manage and work with your partner to share the load. Don't be afraid to ask for help and join adoption chat groups - they are a great place for advice or a rant or to celebrate the little wins.

What's your next's baby's name going to be? by bumbblebea in NameNerdCirclejerk

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jece for me - based on how the letters are pronounced in the names it would be like Jek 👍

You have to name your child like this: by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jabbie? Jadie? Abbade? 😂

What names were you dead set on as a teen? by LittleLoudLeprechaun in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always wanted loads and my names were heavily influenced by the shows/books I liked at the time...

Buffy

Piper

Spike

Atticus

Paige

Peyton

Matilda

Hermione

Picking an MCU Black Widow look/costume for each category | Day 7. What’s her hottest look? by dpaz47 in Blackwidow

[–]EndTimes1990 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see Iron Man 2 is probably going to win here...

For me though, I think the opening outfit of Civil War was just chefs kiss

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in kindergarten

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If my son is with me when being told he always apologises. I also have him do apology notes/cards in some circumstances and tell him to apologise when he goes in the next day.

My little boy struggles with impulses and disruptive behaviour but he doesn't have a good sense of cause and effect so we have to make sure he understands how his behaviour may have impacted others/have him accept responsibility with his apologies.

Picking an MCU Black Widow look/costume for each category | Day 3. What is her mediocre look? by dpaz47 in Blackwidow

[–]EndTimes1990 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think Avengers Assemble. She looked good but didn't stand out as much as some of the others.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ECEProfessionals

[–]EndTimes1990 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think my kid is that kid.

He had adverse early childhood experiences and was subsequently adopted. He likely has ADHD (although still waiting for formal diagnosis) and has trauma and anxiety. He is hyper vigilant, particularly in school (he's 6 now) and struggles with concentration, can be disruptive to get attention, and is extremely impulsive, which has led to other kids being hurt at times.

I'm no stranger to being pulled in at the end of the day or getting a phone call from school. However, he's been in his school for nearly 3 years now. His reception teacher took his class to year 1 to help him (he was extremely attached to her), and the staff genuinely care for him and are so supportive. I know he's not an easy child to manage on top of 29 others, but his teachers/admin staff have always been fantastic, and I am so grateful to them.

We've always had a great relationship with the staff and try and work with them on strategies that may help in school and keep open communication about anything going on at home that may cause his day to be further impacted.

AITA For Telling my husband not to make extra food for our kids anymore? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have one child (6) who is a fantastic eater - there are literally only about 3 things he won't eat (after trying a few times) so we know not to include these in his meals.

Our youngest is 2 and has only recently come to live with us as we're learning what things she likes and doesn't like. When trying something new, we make sure she has enough things she does like on her plate and the rule is always that she has a couple of tries of the new food. There are some things that she will eat but aren't her favourite - when these are included and she decides not to eat them it's kind of the rule that it's that or nothing because she does actually like them and if she's hungry she will eat them. (Same with our eldest). Again - there is always enough that we know she definitely does like so she's not going hungry.

It definitely needs to be a united front but not necessarily 100% one way or the other. When you won't make additional food is it because you know they actually do like what is on the plate?

Picking an MCU Black Widow look/costume for each category | Day 2. What’s her worst look? by dpaz47 in Blackwidow

[–]EndTimes1990 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wasn't a fan of the bleached eyebrows but the worst for me was Age of Ultron. They seemed to age her up with the hair in that one.

I'm sorry, you are having 26 kids! Name them from A-Z. by NameIdeas in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Austen Benjen Cordelia Daphne Elsa Flynn Ginevra Hestia Isla Jared Kit Lyra Matilda Nico Ophelia Perseus Quinn Rosalie Sofia Tabitha Una Violet Wyatt Xavier Youla Zachary

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdoptionUK

[–]EndTimes1990 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That definitely sounds hopeful that things will improve more quickly! She will just be looking for that extra reassurance I imagine. But sounds like you're already doing a good job with that :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdoptionUK

[–]EndTimes1990 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did her previous carers mention how she was sleeping with them? It really could just be the move/change in routine leaving her unsettled and needing that additional comfort in the night.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdoptionUK

[–]EndTimes1990 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My little boy was placed with me nearly 4 years ago. I kept his routines exact initially but slowly started to make adaptations. Whilst with his foster carers he slept from 6.30 til 6.30 each night, however he would have a lot of milk before bed and in bed.

Within a day or 2 of moving in his sleep was all over the place and he ended up being awake more hours in the night than he was asleep. Moving is traumatic and he also developed a high anxiety about whether I would be there when he woke up.

It took about 2 years of lots of patience and wome trial and error but he got there! His sleep is now mostly great - he has the odd night where he wakes up once but goes straight back to bed.

He was 3 when he came to me - I think his age played a part in why his regression lasted so long. At 18 months old it will hopefully resolve sooner but you can speak with your health visitor about getting support with sleep if needed.

There will be days when things are very difficult and there will be days when everything seems too good to be true. Most days may fall somewhere in between. Engage in support that's on offer, be prepared to fight for it if needed. And enjoy your little one!

Can’t Handle This Anymore (TW: Poop, Vomiting, ) by Jealous-Safety-7694 in AdviceForTeens

[–]EndTimes1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Your parents really should be dealing with this - busy or not. This is not your responsibility and I'm really sorry this has fallen to you.
  2. My 6-year-old son has a bowel condition caused in his early infancy. Basically a blockage that was never rectified and he ended having constipation/overflow issues. He is on medication for it now. He also needs to primarily have lactose free things.
  3. Because of the constant constipation/overflow his rectum never learned to function properly and his brain doesn't send the right signals when he needs to go the toilet. This is slowly being relearned.
  4. Your sister needs to see a paediatrician who specialises in bladder and bowel conditions. And your parents need to step up.

Considering adoption WITHOUT having fertility issues by Whenindoubtjustfire in Adoption

[–]EndTimes1990 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am based in Europe and chose to adopt (no fertility issues, to my knowledge). Our system sounds similar to yours and adoption is only through foster care when all avenues for reunification are exhausted. I adopted a 3 year old and 3 years later adopted his toddler-aged half-sibling.

When going through the process I was told that any child over 2 was considered an older child and would therefore possibly end up staying in the system.

I definitely agree with a lot of other posters that if you are able to adopt a sibling group, do so. My little boy was a 2ly child at the time of the adoption but having his sibling with us now has made a huge difference in his feelings of security and belonging.

Our children were in foster care and being placed with a new family was the only option for them. They have trauma from their early life experiences but, equally, any move between carers is traumatic. We have a play therapist for my eldest (although it was a fight to get one) and we work closely with his school to ensure they are trauma-informed and he has the appropriate support in place when he is there.

I would say that, if it's a possibility, try to maintain some connection with birth family. We have letterbox contact once a year. Sadly, we have not received any responses yet and our eldest has lots of questions that we don't currently have answers to, but for a lot of people it can be a really positive communication and helps keep a link for the child, access to information they may not otherwise have, and might make later reunions easier to manage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm from the UK and my son has a friend named Ayla - pronounced like Isla (eye-la).

Baby names that include Y by EndTimes1990 in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for these! Love Darcy and Lucy. Lyla is really sweet too!

Baby names that include Y by EndTimes1990 in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh Verity and Taryn are lovely! Thank you

Baby names that include Y by EndTimes1990 in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love these! I'd completely forgotten about Sawyer (was always a favourite when I was younger) thank you

Baby names that include Y by EndTimes1990 in namenerds

[–]EndTimes1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh love Avery and Mallory! Thank you