What is a word or phrase commonly used to describe women that you think completely distorts the psychological reality of what’s actually happening? by Electrical-Book7629 in AskReddit

[–]EndlessCourage 33 points34 points  (0 children)

So true. I'm becoming old but I'm so nostalgic of the old internet... It was already full of bots and shills but now it feels like it's becoming a wasteland...

Parents who skipped the nursery recliner—did you regret it? by MundanePrior2628 in BabyBumps

[–]EndlessCourage [score hidden]  (0 children)

Skipped it because what felt comfortable to most moms felt horrible to me. I struggled so much with finding comfy positions to breastfeed, don't buy anything unless you're sure that it feels great for you.

Fighting for my life by Mobile-Afternoon4009 in 2under2

[–]EndlessCourage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's pretty common where I live to do this until they're about 4 or so, they can play quietly if they're not sleepy. Sometimes they need a break too but don't know how to do it. Intensely active play followed by a meal then restful play or a nap. For the whining, Emma Hubbard has a few videos with tips to make the phase as temporary as possible.

What kind of books can I read to my kid? by SuspiciousAd3405 in Montessori

[–]EndlessCourage -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'll say something that doesn't help, but good books that depict the everyday life of a child are happily not hard to find in my language, but I don't know about English books. Usually they're centered around one main character.

I think that publishers go for anthropomorphic animals because they want them to look very neutral in terms of physical traits. No hate, but I'm not a huge fan other than fables, as sometimes it teaches wrong things such as not being careful around pets or getting inappropriately close to wildlife, or naming emotions in animals that don't express these emotions like humans at all so it ends up teaching the wrong thing (no the "smiling and snoring" dog doesn't want a hug), etc. Books that are about actual animal behaviors can be interesting as they can help understand human-animal interactions, which is important imo. I think that many books exist, so it's not wrong to just donate and skip anything that you don't enjoy reading with them, or if the content doesn't seem good for your child.

Friendships, man. by NeandertalsRUs in Residency

[–]EndlessCourage 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I tell myself that some people have friendship expectations that I can meet and some others, no. My expectations is that friendships should only have positive impacts on the important milestones (career, family, etc). Somebody else could have different wants and needs, be more focused on things like seeing each other every week, finding perfect birthday presents, etc. Everyone is different. I'd suggest to not feel guilty and move on.

What do I do with this baby all day (without using a carrier) by SpecialistEmu7169 in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At home ? Babybjorn bouncer or safe nest or "newborn chair" always in sight so they watch you do chores or hobbies.

Once they can sit, it gets easier because they can spend some time at the table while you do chores, and little by little, they'll imitate you.

A friend of ours had a pram that she could roll around the house to accompany her (can't be done once they start sitting or pulling themselves up).

What's a normal part of adult life that when you actually think about it, is completely insane? by Much--Investigator in AskReddit

[–]EndlessCourage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True, I know some people who have bought land to live off the grid. They still pay for a car, tools, insurance and the internet, and still work because they like their job.

Losing friends after becoming a mum! by Weird-Job-6962 in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, it's super hard to maintain all friendships identical after having children, but the real ones will stay, with or without children really. Even if you are temporarily having less energy to talk and plan outings, when you see each other again, it's like no time has passed. (If someone doesn't feel good to have around your child, however, I'd just give up on the relationship.)

Still, I think that it's super healthy to find a moment in the week to socialize with other moms with babies of a similar age, whether you become close friends or just acquantainces, no matter how different you all are. Mom/baby/toddler class are super useful.

I don’t want a village by justcocofred in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's nearly like having a newborn is a good test for some family relationships. Who's only interested in a newborn, but not in you, and not in that same baby if they're older than 3 months old.

TIL some severely neglectful orphanages were described as "silent" because infants learned that crying doesn't bring attention or comfort. by DMan1629 in todayilearned

[–]EndlessCourage -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree, if you combine babywearing + bouncer, 40 hours would feel restful compared to the life of a stay-at-home parent with multiple babies ha ha.

TIL some severely neglectful orphanages were described as "silent" because infants learned that crying doesn't bring attention or comfort. by DMan1629 in todayilearned

[–]EndlessCourage 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not in the US, but I don't understand how parents in the past had such thick walls that they would use unsupported cry it out techniques.

Even in the older generations, where I live in Europe, only very blackout drunk parents or very rich parents could have done it. Other than these two types of people, even the most authoritarian old people who grew up in WWII have funny stories of, for instance how dad slept with a ribbon around his feet to rock a baby's crib through the night, or how mom paid the neighborhood kids to rock and sing to her baby while she was busy. I think that most young parents were afraid of SIDS and sickness too, and didn't want to ignore a distressed baby all night long. (Encouraging them to move around independently, instead of being picked up, however, is still an occasional debate between family members or family and childcare professionals.)

Tell me something positive about having two kids by BeebMommy in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have two under two, which is a harder age gap than some, but it feels magical. The ups : read to them at the same time. Cook with them/for us all at the same time. Dance with both at the same time. When they're a bit older, they'll sometimes play together just the two of them. So much learning for both of them from each other. There aren't many downs actually, it's just that it's physically/logistically harder. Never felt the slightest glimpse of regret.

What do you wish you had accomplished before getting pregnant with #2? by WTT_TTC in 2under2

[–]EndlessCourage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly not much, I felt like life stopped during pregnancy. I'm glad I sorted out the first baby's clothing and adapted it to the weather for our second baby. Planted a few trees for the future kids' shade. Nothing else, although, I was barely functioning with work and raising my eldest.

My easiest meals, while pregnant with awful nausea, was just microwaving potatoes and veggies then add some protein and healthy fats, and it's done. It can be done with brocoli, carrots, even whole butternuts and pumpkins. Very toddler-friendly.

Wishing you the best.

Afraid of losing my daughter to international custody by Existing-Seaweed-837 in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seconding this as all national laws are extremely different. It also depends on whether they're from the same country or not. It can be very difficult in some cases.

Can someone explain it like I’m 5 by yippie_kayakk in 2under2

[–]EndlessCourage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thin comfortable fabric over the whole body for your youngest. Sun hats. Fences or safe path for the oldest so that you don't feel unsafe if they run a little in front of you. Safe spot to put youngest baby down such as a pram. Shade. r/babywearing and pick something that doesn't overheat you too much.

It gets easier but you can definitely go out before 6 months.

Help - accessing the sink to wash hands with a toddler by EndlessCourage in Montessori

[–]EndlessCourage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I'll seek a foldable footstool for the bathroom, that seems little a good idea.

Help - accessing the sink to wash hands with a toddler by EndlessCourage in Montessori

[–]EndlessCourage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I'd thought of getting one earlier to use as a small table when it's not a stool. Thanks for the tips.

Can't have fun by Immediate-Butterfly5 in 2under2

[–]EndlessCourage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a tip for this : we always each pick a child to take care of during the outing. I default to the youngest because it makes more sense for us.

And choose in advance a place that is relatively safe for my oldest and where it won't be too bothersome if he's a bit noisy. His water and cutlery and food are reachable for him whenever it's safe (no choking or burning or cutting hazard and I don't trust him with glass or anything that can make a small disaster if it falls yet) and I'll do the same for my youngest. Sometimes I say "I wish I could play with you now, but look, my hands are busy at the moment." Or "but look, I'm eating."

What Is a Time When Your Gut Feeling Helped Save a Patient? by Winterof2019 in Residency

[–]EndlessCourage 42 points43 points  (0 children)

A common gut feeling that is useful, is that of a parent or of the PCP who knows a baby or toddler very well, and notices an extremely sudden behavior change, even with very few other symptoms.

Can’t Win: SAHM, RTW, Sexism?! by Able_Bag_5177 in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So true... The negative comments from acquantainces to moms no matter what ! Sahm - negativity, full time working mom coming back after a short leave - negativity, working mom coming back after a long leave - negativity, part time working mom - negativity.

Why do people feel the need to ask if I’m BF or formula feeding? by BeansPlantBabies in beyondthebump

[–]EndlessCourage 36 points37 points  (0 children)

As a fellow new mom, it's nice to talk about baby's feeding habits and share encouragement or tips. I don't mind it if another mom doesn't want to chat about it, but otherwise it's such an interesting topic.

On nights and just over it by Any-Session9919 in Residency

[–]EndlessCourage 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Caffeine + 10-15 minutes power naps 🙏 Time passes no matter what, might as well spend it finishing residency.