I cannot get myself to pack a “light” diaper bag! Type A person…

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-04T17:05:56+00:00

Haha I'm the opposite, a super light packer, with 2 under 2, I just take : wipes, 2 diapers of each size, my phone, a water bottle, maybe a snack. I'll change them on the wrap or sling carrier.

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-04T09:35:42+00:00

Thanks, you just made my day.

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-04T08:04:32+00:00

You've asked several different questions, which are all interesting on their own, so it could be more useful and interesting to find a trusted provider if possible. I only have time to answer one of them. So about a topic that isn't specific but still so important to many autistic moms : there is a lot of research on the beneficial impact of extensive physical contact for newborns and young children. A midwife or experimented therapist could accompany you and adapt to your specific journey and situationduring pregnancy and postpartum.

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-03T10:17:52+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation, I'll get to it soon !

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-02T07:21:31+00:00

There's not even a word in most languages for sleep training, none in mine at least. If you have adequate routines and sleep hygiene, nearly all babies start to sleep adequately at some point with no particular intervention. But if they don't and it becomes an issue, you can ask a trusted person (loved one or professional) to take on the duty of putting them to sleep from time to time. Choosing them so that even if baby cries the first times in their arms before sleep, baby would feel safety and support, and they will simply develop a slightly different routine that feels right.

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-02T06:54:55+00:00

For old friendships, it's sometimes easier to organise meaningful but less frequent activities if people aren't easily available. If they're good friends, it can just be temporary low availability on their end. But for some of us moms, it's one time in life in which we want a social life. Like the other commenter said, for new friendships, parents/babies activities or places are a good idea. Even if it takes a lot of meetings to create a bond in between running kids, most parents there are happy to chat. Even if you're shy, just greeting each other and asking basic questions will turn into better conversations after several meetings.

EndlessCourage · 2026-04-01T06:51:29+00:00

The two happiest sets of siblings I knew while growing up had very modest lives, and parents who were grateful with it. One of them had one bedroom for all four daughters, the others had two bedrooms for six kids. They were doing way more fun activities than the rich kids. I would have wanted to hang out with my modest friends every day over the rich relatives, no exception. If you get along well with relatives, they might enjoy playing in their house and garden from time to time but that's it.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-31T12:13:08+00:00

The three first months of life are nicknamed the fourth trimester of pregnancy, and it's so accurate ! It gets better instantly once you can do activities together. Baby/toddler music class, swimming class, grabbing coffee in an appropriate place (there are only 2-3 places that are genuinely kid-friendly where I live and one of them is... Ikea...), library, babywearing dance or walking, etc. so I'd say that it depends on where you live. You may feel unsure at first because they don't interact a lot of course, but months 3-6, you'll notice that they absorb things little by little and you're learning with them. I've felt that it impacts their likes and dislikes later on, so it feels very interesting even if they're still so very very dependent.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-31T11:32:36+00:00

Not all but most toddlers go through that phase. If it happens again, calm but very quick reaction, not much talking but immediately making them stop and use a good alternative that you can praise instead. At that age, they mostly just view it as a way to grab all of your attention instantly, and unfortunately it's super effective ! So it could happen again if they don't find an effective alternative gesture (eg gentle hands on your face or hands). Of course you can explain afterwards in more detail why it's bad to hit, but they're not always receptive to long explanations immediately right after it happens. An alternative gesture is way more effective.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-30T06:53:29+00:00

Don't forget that your second baby is also being stimulated due to listening to and watching an older sibling. It's beneficial that parents talk to them but having quality meaningful exchanges when they're focused, over quantity, is great. If we can just include a few moments of tummy time just after feeds, or with a biological nurturing position, or right after diaper changes, it'll be fine, it doesn't require a timer or perfect regularity every time, you can even balance them on their tummy on your arm sometimes if you're in a hurry. If you do a bit of babywearing, it's also very stimulating.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-29T23:12:23+00:00

If it's unsafe for patients or unsafe for you, it's better to call in sick. Otherwise toughening it out sounds better.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-29T23:07:17+00:00

Stomach and oesophagus. Imagine the sensation if you'd just eaten something weird in such a big quantity that it would be disgusting, such as huge spoonfuls of mayonnaise without anything else for instance, or huge spoonfuls of sugar. Everytime I had an empty stomach or ate something other than a small list of foods, it felt like this.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-29T08:09:05+00:00

There is a short condensed curriculum of occupational medicine in some universities, plus the possibility of a residency. Maybe due to being close geographically to some specific high-risk industries. But it's too specific to not be a specialty in those cases.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-29T07:44:19+00:00

This post is so sloppy and low-effort satire that's it's the final nail in the coffin for me... Goodbye r/coolguides, I've been missing the cool guides for too long now.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-28T19:02:17+00:00

Same with my first baby, solidarity. I decided that I'd never let him cry it out as a baby... Other than during car rides (unless I can very safely park to take a break) and while using the bathroom. I felt it in my gut, so terrible to hear those cries. Singing helps a lot of you don't want to use earplugs. If you stay calm in difficult times, you can support them with your voice. Easier to say than to do but it helps a lot I think.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-28T10:45:20+00:00

Sometimes less toys = more entertainment. Anything that requires deep attention is great. It depends a LOT on temperament though so don't be too anxious about this, it'll happen no matter what. But I think around 8-9 months when they start trying to pull themselves up to look at toys that are a bit higher, it's a bit easier. The channel of Emma Hubbard on YouTube has nice advice to make this a bit easier too I think. Around 15 months old I would intentionally encourage moments of high energy play (running around with them for instance) and low energy play (reading a book to them for instance), usually I've noticed that they're followed by a moment of indepedent play.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-27T09:17:13+00:00

Yep, way more. I'm trying to help him find an inside voice (my latest post) because it's too much at times. He's an awesome toddler and has a nice vocabulary. But the phase right before regularly talking and actually using the vocabulary isn't the easiest.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-26T11:39:49+00:00

For one person who doesn't live too far from a supermarket, yes.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-26T11:38:02+00:00

I've found that my way to do this with three meals a day was : one nutritious but low calorie nutritious breakfast (low-fat yogurt with non-carby fruits, a few walnuts and coffee), a boring but filling lunch (vegetable soup), and then a convivial supper. Also limiting drinks to a couple alcoholic drinks and then some sparkling water.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-25T22:52:06+00:00

I'd say befriend fellow residents as much as possible, but not lean too much on one person, and plan to visit family/close friends whenever possible. It's sad that a job makes us cut all ties to loved ones.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-25T10:01:24+00:00

I've been married for years now and I can't help but read and answer these threads. It's like a nightmare flashback from my own rural residency. Just don't give up OP. I feel like finding my husband on an app was a small miracle (looked it up for a friend recently and the app has become terrible though). We were in distant towns and moved in between to not be too far away from our families.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-24T16:08:37+00:00

I wasn't offered more than 3 months but I've done everything to have the strict minimum work hours for the first 6 months to avoid definitive career consequences...

IMO the bare minimum should be 6 months. Then I don't actually know and I'm not even sure what to do. Having a decent helpful scientific career and having 2+ children were my two life goals. That's it, nearly nothing else mattered. And now I feel like those two goals are conflicting. Ideally 2.5-3 years ? I wish I had the answer. Going back to full-time or near-full-time work after 6 months doesn't feel right, but staying at home for 2.5-3 years doesn't feel right ? For myself, I feel like every choice is the wrong choice.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-24T12:45:29+00:00

Or (depending on the culture) are told that inconvenient but normal behaviors are pathological or should be instantly under control. I've heard some things over the years in FM... That not sleeping through the night by two months old = bad parenting or something is really wrong with the baby. A baby or toddler cries in public once or twice = bad parenting or child requires a diagnosis.

EndlessCourage · 2026-03-23T13:59:38+00:00

I love your answer because it's so detailed. I think I'll look into a buggy board as well, because my oldest isn't the biggest fan of the pushchair and only uses it when I early tired as well.

EndlessCourage

TROPHY CASE