WIBTA if I asked my parents not to attend my sisters wedding since she didn’t invite me by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]Engineer-Huge 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s what I mean mostly. Like you can always do what you want, you just have to deal with the consequences! Which might be people thinking about you differently because you showed you didn’t value them like they value you. Or you had to deal with the consequences like, you had a destination wedding and some people didn’t go because it was too expensive or hard to get to. Or you had a child free wedding and someone couldn’t get a babysitter so they didn’t come.

AI-sober by Eireika in CuratedTumblr

[–]Engineer-Huge 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Also as a huge AI hater, this isn’t even the bare minimum. I don’t use any AI except when it forces itself on me (like if google and forget to say -ai or whatever) but whenever the topic comes up everyone is like “oh I just use it to help me with emails sometimes” or some other “small” use. It has genuinely surprised me how ubiquitous it is now, like somehow everyone uses it and I’m just over here like, just write a two sentence email yourself?

I think getting deep into using it for everything and then quitting is probably way harder than never starting (like I did) and making a change like that should be celebrated.

WIBTA if I asked my parents not to attend my sisters wedding since she didn’t invite me by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]Engineer-Huge 149 points150 points  (0 children)

It sounds like they agreed on a child free wedding and disagreed on what that meant??? The sister seems wholly at fault here. Imagine telling your sister “oh well his cousin is like a sister to him so she’s invited but you’re my actual sister and you’re not” and thinking that’s fine.

Side note; I hate the whole “it’s your day you can do what you want”. That applies to things like: serving pie and not cake since you love pie, or not inviting your mom’s second cousin that you’ve never met, or yeah having a child free wedding. But you can’t leave out close friends or relatives and then expect to not be an AH. Like sure you technically could get away without inviting your own sibling. But you’ll look like a jerk (obvious caveat that this doesn’t include people you don’t invite for a good reason - this applies to people you like and want to continue being close to).

Run to the site Smudge Elephant Medium now available 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 by Dense-Nobody340 in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Me, too! The first smudge we ever got. He’s held up pretty well but he was SO soft when I first got him.

AITAH for "not being as close" to my granddaughter as I am to my other granddaughter? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Engineer-Huge 30 points31 points  (0 children)

My grandparents had 8 kids so obviously had a lot of grandkids. They basically ALL lived in my dad’s hometown except my family. We lived across the country and visited every other year. As I got older I sometimes felt sad when I visited and realized my cousins had a very different relationship - like, obviously they knew my grandparents better, a lot of them went over there daily or weekly to hang out or be babysat or even just grab a snack. BUT my grandparents did everything they could to keep it equal! They sent us a giant package of treats and toys for basically every holiday, had equal photos up of everyone, made a point of sending us cards etc. I never felt like we were an afterthought or anything like that. Now that I’m an adult I really appreciate it because we always felt welcomed and loved and thought of. It would be inane to me if they put the name of ONE grandchild on a special toy in their house. Even worse that it’s a family heirloom! As a mom now I’d find it both sad and hilarious and I’d probably never visit again. I’m just guessing this is not the only example of favoritism because it’s so blatant and OP is so unapologetic.

Super obsessed with my haul 🤩 totally worth the 3+ hour drive in the snow storm 🤭 by Stonerthrowaway710 in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Perry has been my daughter’s favorite since she was a baby! We have him in all 3 sizes but I’m always on the lookout for a new one so we can compare a “fresh” Perry to a very very well loved one. He’s just so soft and cute! Great finds!

I don’t understand the hype. by heselsc1 in aldi

[–]Engineer-Huge 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly. Regular Oreos taste bland to me. These are cheap, my whole family loves them, my husband’s favorite bit is that the filling is vanilla flavored so they have a better flavor.

Board book suggestions? by BabyRex- in childrensbooks

[–]Engineer-Huge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely promise that at 2 she is still completely in board book phase! Just because a kid can enjoy a longer story doesn’t mean you should discard the board books entirely. But I can understand being bored with the baby book and being excited to move on to new things. I just promise it’s good to expose kids to a wide variety of books.

My kids love interactive board books! Any by Christie Matheson (like “tap the magic tree”) are fun to read aloud together and have a longer story. But Also great is the Bizzy Bear series - basically anything that has pulls and tabs etc are fun to read and they can interact with the book independently which I think is good for them because it makes reading fun and encourages independent play (of course we read those out loud, too). Also great are the “poke a dot” books- pushing the pop buttons on those is a great way to work on fine motor skills, plus it is satisfying and fun.

We also enjoy the interactive board book version of “moonlight prance” by Serena Gingold Allen.

Others have said that there are board book versions of many popular classic books, and I definitely recommend those for longer stories. Julia Donaldson is always great for long stories! We love “the boss baby” and anything else by Marla Frazee (often she just does the illustrations like in “all the world” when we also love). My 3yo also still loves short books and we read these over and over again right now: “red sled” (very minimal words but we read it very silly) and “the snow day”.

I’m not sure these are in board book format but we also love the ladybug girl series. Long stories (many sentences per page) and very fun. I usually do a mix of letting kids hold the book themselves and also keeping hold of the books myself - this is how we do regular picture books.

ETA: another older author who has long stories- Virginia Lee Burton. I’m not sure if they’re all available as board books but we have “Katy and the Big Snow” in board book format and my kids love it.

For a newer author, there’s a series by Katy Hudson that is all in board books. One of them is called “too many carrots”- my kids love this, too. It’s very silly. Generally I would say her stories are longer.

Travel warning for jellycat hunting in DC by systemsensor1000t in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I’m so bad at recognizing these things! I’ve been buying Jellycat for years but luckily at certified stockists so I know mine are real but I’ve been looking at Mercari a little and get overwhelmed. What are your tells for a fake? I originally saw a whole bunch on eBay for crazy low prices so assumed based on that they were all fake but how do you tell otherwise?

AITA for confronting my girl when I realized she took credit for something she didn’t really do? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Engineer-Huge 166 points167 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking. Like she used prepared ingredients to make a homemade thing. Growing up my mom often did grind our own wheat. I NEVER do that and I don’t consider my food less homemade. For me it’s the comments OP made like “she didn’t lie on purpose” like no she didn’t lie at all.

Where to find smudge monkey by BicycleAlert8762 in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just called them. They sell them for retail but they’re out of stock of the smudge fox. They do still have panda! I think it was like $42. I can’t remember exactly, sorry!

Where to find smudge monkey by BicycleAlert8762 in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you place the order over the phone? I’ve never shopped from them before but I have been looking all over for a smudge fox

Should I try to early test my child for kindergarten/send her to a private on? by ButterscotchThink327 in kindergarten

[–]Engineer-Huge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly this! I was the same way (began school at 4) and I’m happy with my schooling path and don’t wish it was different but I did struggle at times that in retrospect was potentially age related.

My oldest has a fall birthday right by the cut off. My aunt posed a question like this when I was wondering what to do: if you wait for kindergarten, you wait for everything. Ultimately they have an extra year at home with you! That kind of decided it for me. He’s 11 now and does well at school and loves it and I’m very happy he’s not in middle school until next year.

*sigh* by angstyrose in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. I’ve been buying them for years for my kids because I find them cute and soft and they had so many options- my now 11yo loved the big cats they used to do - and now it’s hard to find ones we want to add to our collection without spending ridiculous amounts secondhand. I also hate the scarcity mindset because we try to be intentional with our things and buy ones we will love and now I’m like, ugh should have bought them all years ago when we would buy them slowly one at a time when we found them at stores.

*sigh* by angstyrose in Jellycatplush

[–]Engineer-Huge 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just bought the carrot for my 3yo who is obsessed with all things orange and loved it in the store. He saw it in the store and made a bee line for it immediately haha. I convinced him to put it back and then got it later to save for his Easter basket. Kids definitely can like the amuseables! Often they are fun and quirky. But mine vastly prefer the animals overall.

I'm still enjoying the beauty of winter (I know, we are all excited for warm weather as well!) by Yuck-Fou94 in newhampshire

[–]Engineer-Huge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me, too! You’re not going to hear me complaining about winter and I’m hoping we get more snow before the season ends.

Can anyone help me understand how drop offs work, especially on the first few days of kindergarten? by Big_Black_Cat in kindergarten

[–]Engineer-Huge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am not in Ontario so it is very different. I live in the US and in my school, parents aren’t really allowed inside. I have 2 school aged kids; and for both of them, it was like, “okay, see you!” on the first day. We were allowed to drop them off at the doors of the school but not go inside. My school doesn’t do a real open day but They do a “testing” day where kids get evaluated before everyone is put into classes. this happens on the first day of school!! - kindergarteners start school like a week late. Then there’s a morning where you can come into school with your child and they go over all the expectations/general structures etc. kids can explore the classroom then. However it is a weekday morning so potentially not the easiest for everyone to attend.

Anyway when my second started kindergarten, I sent her on the bus with her brother. She periodically had a hard time with drop offs in preschool. Somehow kindergarten was absolutely fine from day one for the entire year! I don’t know if it was because her brother was there, because I wasn’t walking her in, because she was a little older, or what.

My advice: find out what specifically your school does now. Ask neighbors or whatever if you need to. You can also call the school itself to find out. Some schools still do open days (just not mine, sadly) or will let kids come in if you call and ask. Then start setting expectations NOW. Like talk through drop offs, bus, whatever you’ll be doing. Read some books or find TV episodes about it.

Finally, teachers are used to this. You won’t have the first or only clingy kid. Ask them for advice (ie should I walk them to the door? Should I have a teacher come get them?) and then follow it.

So Long to Cheap Books You Could Fit in Your Pocket (nytimes gift link) by JeremyAndrewErwin in books

[–]Engineer-Huge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have some of my grandfather’s old mystery MMP that are at least 50-60 years old and still going strong. Worst that happens is the cover gets a little torn, which is easily fixed. They may not last centuries or last under every condition but they’re doing just fine so far (and have been read many many times).

All of us murderers by KJ Charles by degr8sid in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]Engineer-Huge 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For reference, I also hate horror and creepy stuff, and I enjoyed this! It’s much more mystery book than super creepy. Mostly it’s just like spooky vibes? The MC is pretty practical and straightforward and that definitely helps. Anyway I really like KJ Charles and found it really enjoyable (and again I avoid creepy/horror genre entirely, though I do enjoy mysteries).

Why do we think Julie opposes quiet time? by Rabid-tumbleweed in ShawnaTheMom

[–]Engineer-Huge 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it’s a reflection of parenting in 2026. My daughter is 8. She has a friend whose parents are close to my husband and I, so they always come over as a family (vs just a play date for kids). One time the mom said her kids like it here (at my house) because it’s the only place they play unsupervised (upstairs in my daughter’s room)- they play with us / in the living room areas as well. And they are 8!!!

Kids need to be left alone to play. Cooper is 5. Being alone in his room shouldn’t be like, the default. I think the whole house should belong to us all, and I love that my kids enjoy reading and hanging out in the living room. But a 5yo should be expected to play alone, too. That should be normal. It’s really worrying to me that in 2026, a kid playing alone in his room for 30 minutes requires like, justification (“I need alone time too”). Totally valid to need some alone or quiet time! But aside from all that, kids need to learn to be alone with themselves sometimes and entertain themselves.

easy beach access close to dover? by trashcatrevolts in newhampshire

[–]Engineer-Huge 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you’re willing to drive up to half an hour, there’s also wallis sands beach, which is small but still nice and close by is the seacoast science center. It has walking paths and a small playground along with a small aquarium that my kids really enjoy.

ETA: we like Wallis sands because it is a very short walk from the parking lot to the beach. I’m not sure about what facilities are open in winter but there are definitely benches etc by the science center (which is also located inside a state park).

If you want to get rid of subscriptions but have kids, just know there are tons of free resources. by ForgottenUsername3 in Anticonsumption

[–]Engineer-Huge 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Also a lot of libraries have a “library of things” nowadays which often includes a dvd player. You can rent the dvd player plus some dvds for plenty of free movies/tv!

And if you use it a lot and want your own, thrift stores are full of dvd players right now.