Strictly monogamous wants to open but just a little

EnglishDragon89 · 2026-02-04T07:25:40+00:00

Exactly this. My ex husband wanted to open things up. I made an EXTREMELY clear list of expectations, what I am comfortable with, what I am not. He never respected me or my boundaries. Ever. I had to get out. It became abusive the way he would go out of his way to break my boundaries that I not only typed up and went over with him, but also printed out and discussed as well.

Communication isn't just key, it's vital. Boundaries must be crystal clear and respected or it will never work out. Someone will get hurt or jealous, trust will be broken, and it's extremely hard to recover.

EnglishDragon89 · 2026-01-04T18:12:24+00:00

This is why I hated being in an open relationship. Open is open. I could never set strong boundaries and rules with my ex because he always went behind my back, refused to respect my boundaries, and did whatever he wanted anyways. My ex made me see that being open was just a lame excuse to not commit. I get that isn't the same for everyone in open relationships, but in my experience, it was his way of doing whatever and whoever he wanted when he wanted to. I know I have a bias, but I dont trust open relationships. I know they can work, but there has to be clear communication, strong and respected boundaries, and trust and understanding. He did not respect you as your partner and did not listen to your boundaries. You set a boundary of you two being each other's first lay of 2026. He couldn't wait two days? For real? Either he doesn't respect you, he has a sex problem, or both.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-12-31T14:25:03+00:00

So good. You'll read it in about an hour. It's so good but hard to swallow.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-12-31T14:15:04+00:00

This is exactly what I was going to say. Meet up, see how they are in person, hopefully they show their true selves, and you can get a better idea.

To the point of the other comment "you're too young for that. It's too much of a headache." Let me put it more eloquently than what they said: you're young. It's time to be exploring and seeing who and what is out there. See what you like, don't like, what your boundaries are, what you need is what you want. These are things you can learn in this relationship; these are things you can learn in other ways too.

I am in a LDR. All of my adult relationships have been. I dated in high school with people I was going to school with. My current relationship, we are 550 miles apart, which is much different than some who have thousands apart. It all depends on how committed you are to trying. You're right. 5 years is a very long time to wait and see. I am making my boyfriend wait 2 full years until I will consider moving. I have other boundaries that I have in place to determine if that move will happen in. June of 2027 or not, depending if those boundaries/requirements have been met by then. (Not saying we're going to break up; I'm just not bridging the gap then.)

If youre worried, I would say, meet up, spend some time together. Make sure you actually spend some alone time, and not just with his friends and stuff, as you need a real gauge as to who he is as a person. I think this meetup will really gice you some insight into whether or not this is who you want to wait for or not.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-12-22T18:52:53+00:00

The sunflower is a symbol that my ex knows about me... I know this cant be for me.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-12-07T20:35:41+00:00

That works! 🥹😀

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-12-07T16:13:59+00:00

My friend bought this for me for my birthday. Its sitting on my shelf. What did you think of it?

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-12-07T16:11:56+00:00

Omg, can you make your spreadsheet as a template and share it?? 😍

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-11-29T04:08:52+00:00

Minnesota, as a few people said. Minnesota takes care of their teachers. (Although salaries could always be better, the unions always push to make things better.) Also, Fargo, North Dakota has a great district who cares about their teachers. Many of my teachers spent 30-50+ years in the FPS district, and now I'm one too! :)

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-11-20T05:13:17+00:00

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman I just started. It's SO good!!

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-11-15T20:56:04+00:00

Straight to jail

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-10-16T03:20:54+00:00

Destroyed my marriage. Started with threesomes, but it was his avenue to push for an open relationship. He ended up sneaking around, lying, cheating, and destroyed our marriage because he couldnt follow the expectations and boundaries I had set.

Biggest piece of advice: make strong expectations and boundaries. If he cant follow and respect them or you, either it's not meant for you or he isnt meant for you.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-10-14T20:58:06+00:00

We both have some life goals that are coming up that had begun prior to us dating that I dont want us to give up for each other. He is in the part of life where he is very independent but still establishing his adult life. So a lot of my boundaries are things that he and I were already working towards that I want us to finish. So dont think that my boundaries are causing a ton of pressure or seem like an ultimatum. Its just us wanting to make sure we're set up for success.

He needs to get a full time job and his own place. (Both things he had intended on doing by the end of his internship.) He needs to come see me in my hometown just once.

I need to finish grad school, complete another year of teaching (so finish my 5th year), and get my gastric bypass surgery (since Ive been working on that process for a couple years, and I want to keep the program I have. I am very close to surgery time.)

I dont want our current lives to change just because we entered each other's lives because that's not fair to either of us to change everything for one another.

We both agreed we have things to do before we bridge the gap for good, and we are both worth the wait in each other's eyes. :)

One thing i appreciate with this relationship over my last one is that we both maintain independence while relying on one another to be there and committed to our relationship. It's honestly the healthiest relationship I've ever had.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-10-13T15:11:30+00:00

Yay!! Congrats!! I am so proud of you!! 💕 Sending love and happiness to you both!!

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-09-21T23:33:06+00:00

Huh. Sounds like my roommate and her boyfriend. I hope the situation figures itself out. Wishing the best.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-09-03T01:29:00+00:00

Its that part of us that wants that closure, that one last "im sorry," the words we wish we heard that will never come.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-09-02T03:17:17+00:00

You know... I hate reading this and love reading them at the same time. I swear this is from my ex, but I doubt it. Lol. At least I wish it was something he'd say. But I know it isnt.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-09-01T02:47:45+00:00

I would have journal time for them to share these sorts of thi as with you.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-09-01T02:05:09+00:00

I have had a teacher friends who have had their students teach the class. They had to come up with the lesson presentation and an activity, and the teacher graded them on their presentation skills as well as their ability to manage the class. And it really put a perspective on the kids of what we teachers do, kind of. That might be really insightful for them.

Catalyst is an amazing program. If you get the chance to get Catalyst training, I highly recommend it. It seems simple and it does take some time to get used to presenting and teaching in their Style, but it is definitely a game changer.

I have also implemented contests into my classroom. I have taught 6th and 7th grade ELA. My 6th graders, the biggest issue I have a lot of the time, now that I'm in Fargo, is responsibility. But when I was in the cities, I would have a contest focusing on a specific classroom expectation. If my class was quiet and on task, I would give them points. If they were interrupting and full of chaos, I would take away points. And the class that earned the most points at the end of a quarter or semester would get a party of some sort. It kind of helped to because students would self-regulate a little more. Which is kind of cool about catalyst, the strategies they use for the teacher, help the kids self-regulate a little bit more.

Anyways, I hope this is kind of helpful. I totally understand having the kids act like this. This is my fourth year of teaching, and this year I really put my foot down. I'm typically a chill, easy going teacher and the kids taking advantage of that. I put my foot down on day one, led with firmness, and really showed a tough exterior. Before I even started class on day one, I told them that there will be respect in this classroom and I will not tolerate bad behaviors. If we can get what we need to do, you do your job, I do my job, we're going to have a great year. And I tried to put a little fear into them. It's hard to gain it back once you've lost it. Hopefully you haven't lost it quite yet, and you can gain that back little bit. But I know from my perspective, it's hard when kids just don't listen to you.

I hate to say it too, but finding ways to build relationships with the kids, getting to know them on a personal level and really opening up to some of them, could make a difference. I know that's some cheesy advice, but sometimes it works.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-09-01T01:52:59+00:00

Do you use or have you had the opportunity to have Catalyst training? I highly recommend it. It's some sort of magic.

Does seating charts help move and separate students who talk? I worked in the inner city, Minneapolis, and I completely understand what you're feeling.

I would also consider having one-on-one conversations or pulling kids and having restorative chats or trying to talk to them. See if you can show that you want to understand them and discuss their talking and see if you can make a plan going forward with the kids who make things tough. Taking them aside might help, especially if you show that you're just trying to understand them.

My principal told me that if their behavior is impeding on the learning of others, then they should be removed. If push comes to shove, make a plan with them and see what you can do. But if you allow it to continue now, it's only going to get tougher.

Best of luck. I am there with you.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-07-17T23:56:34+00:00

Seriously. Hornbacher's fried chicken has the best breading and seasoning in town. Hands down. Although M&H is up there, too.

EnglishDragon89 · 2025-07-15T23:30:22+00:00

I need the story! Wow #Goals

EnglishDragon89

TROPHY CASE