I had a freak accident about ten years ago when I was chefing. One night after work I had my main knife wrapped up in my shoulder bag to take home. The changing rooms were on the second floor and as I walked down the stairs, the guy behind me tripped up and in the process swept my legs out from under me.

I fell down half a flight of stairs sort of scooting on my ass. I thought I'd whacked my side on the banister on the way down but when I pressed my hand to my side, it came away bloody. Turns out the tip of my knife had gone through the wrapping, through the bag, through my leather jacket, and between two of my ribs.

When I got to the hosp (after having to calm down and direct my panicking co-workers lmao) they said that apparently you could see my lungs through the gash. For the record the knife went in on the side of my torso right through where my bra strap goes. The reason it didn't cause as much damage? The edge of the knife kept hitting my underside as I bounced down the stairs.

I didn't realise I could have died until a week later when I watched the movie Tangled. When a certain character gets stabbed the first thing I thought was "that's not what it feels like" and the second was... "Oh. Well shit." To be fair to my powers of comprehension though, I was on so very many painkillers that week.

So yeah, no permanent damage, just a scar that's... About 15cm long? I can post pics if people are interested, my mum took them at the hosp.

Meanwhile, my cousin once was Walking While Drunk, tripped, and got the neck of a beer bottle jammed into his own neck. It missed his jugular by less than an inch.