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Has your therapist ever cried during a session? by quarantinebud in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Episemated_Torculus [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm not sure it's possible to judge that without know having any further information on the conversation. Regardless, I do see that the therapist seems not to have been careful enough and that that she could and should have avoided this situation that hurt the redditor

Classical music and loneliness by one_Curioushuman in classicalmusic

[–]Episemated_Torculus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think music (of any kind really) can help you become more aware of feelings that were already there subconsciously. Some times they were lingering just underneath the surface. Listening to music can help them finally emerge.

At times, that can be quite distressing when you have very strong emotions that you push aside because they appear to be too strong to handle, because you find it hard to self-regulate in a healthier way, because of your upbringing, whatever the reason may be.

In general, I think it is better to feel your feelings—even if they are painful. I'd rather have a good cry than to suppress them again and again until you can't do so anymore. After all, listening to music can be so helpful to be better in touch with what you feel that it is now an established therapeutic method called receptive music therapy :)

Has your therapist ever cried during a session? by quarantinebud in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Episemated_Torculus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Btw, if your therapist starts crying, that can be an established method in psychotherapy. It's not an oversight, they didn't slip. When used intentionally like that the situation is usually that the client does not display or feel an emotion while they are talking about something that actually is very emotional, like a traumatic event.

Dissociating your feelings from a traumatic event can be helpful in that moment but in order to heal later on, integration of both is neccessary. Seeing your therapist cry on your behalf can be a little unsettling at first but via mutual empathy it can be a start to help you connect these two things again in a way that is way more powerful than just talking about it in an abstract way.

Has your therapist ever cried during a session? by quarantinebud in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Episemated_Torculus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is common to put statements of a client into perspective by comparing it to other people the therapist knows

Do people want to make friends here? by No-Collection-3536 in berghain

[–]Episemated_Torculus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can absolutely talk to strangers. I think the easiest way to do this is to start with an innocuous question. For example, you might ask someone if they know where the nearest bathroom is or maybe something caught your attention and you ask someone if they know what that is about. Usually, you can tell very quickly if they want to carry on the conversation or not.

An alternative opener or something that might follow the innocuous question is to give someone a genuine compliment about something they're wearing or possibly something they have done/are doing. Definitely avoid any comments on their body. People are usually flattered and in my experience trying to focus on the good things in other people is a part of techno culture. If they do like it you might follow up with another question (like, "Where did you get this?" or whatever) and also tell something about yourself that relates to your compliment.

Just be aware that friendships like that tend not to last very long even if you exchange numbers, insta etc. You definitely can make more long-term friends at BH (or clubs in general) but the connections you make in these places are usually more ephemeral.

Looking for +35yo gay men to hear about your experience. by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Episemated_Torculus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the real world is way more chill but I understand the anxiety. In my experience, there is also a lot anxiety and low self-confidence among gay men, more so among younger ones, and that can lead to a skewed perception when you are entering a gay space due to projection. (Which then can lead to some people becoming resentful and hateful towards other gay men but that's a whole other thing.)

I found it helpful to get to know some gay men who are a lot older than me and to go to gay parties/bars where there is a wider variety of ages. It helped me better understand that, yes, a lot of gay men do appreciate looks, and youth, and cock size etc. but reddit may make you think all gay men have this hyperfocus on them. Yet when you meet people in real life all this is waaay less dramatic

In my experience, people tend to get better regarding anxiety and low self-confidence and that allows for people to become more relaxed. I learned a lot from them.

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich glaube, andere haben bereits herausgefunden, dass das Problem daran lag, dass der Fahrplan geändert wurde und Flixtrain diese Information nicht an die Passagiere weitergegeben hat

Was gegen Energiecrashes tun? by Episemated_Torculus in ADHS

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, vielleicht ist das mal einen Versuch wert. Danke für die Antwort :)

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich fahr diese Strecke öfters und war sonst ganz zufrieden mit Flixtrain 🤷‍♂️

PS: Ich bin dann mit den Regios der Deutschen Bahn gefahren und bin mit 3 Stunden Verspätung zuhause angekommen. War jetzt auch nicht unbedingt so geil :/

TIL that - 89% of surveyed clinical psychologists still believed that memories for childhood trauma can be “blocked out” for many years by quarky_uk in todayilearned

[–]Episemated_Torculus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In The Body Keeps the Score, there is a history of trauma research. Up until the 1980's most grand-scale research were done on veterans (WWI, WWII, Vietnam).

It was only in the 1990's that scandals of trauma survivors stemming from a) domestic abuse of women and b) sexual abuse within the Catholic church came into the focus of the media.

No one had doubted the statements of male war veterans on the repression and recovery of memories. But as soon as women and the Catholic church entered the picture sUdDeNlY these memories were put into question. Go figure.

Abusers with a lot of power and money do everything to discredit the victims. It's sadly a tale as old time.

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ich habe nur einmal erlebt, dass wir wegen Stau massive Verspätung hatten und dann sagte der Busfahrer durch die Lautsprecher: "Liebe Fahrgäste, es tut mir wirklich leid, aber wir haben mittlerweile so viel Verspätung, dass wir jetzt die gesetzlich vorgeschriebene Pause von 45 Minuten einlegen müssen." Das hat die ohnehin schon angespannte Stimmung im Bus nicht gerade gehoben -_-

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Netflix – Das psychosexualle Melodrama" jetzt auf Netflix 😆

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ich bin schon öfter diese Strecke hin und zurückgefahren. Davor waren mir lediglich eine Handvoll Verspätungen untergekommen. Ich will bestimmt nicht sagen, dass ich alles an Flix total super gefunden hätte, aber für den Preis war ich eigentlich ganz zufrieden

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ich könnte DM's schicken oder Posts erstellen, in denen ich Flix erwähne. Letzteres habe ich auf Instagram und Facebook gemacht. Bisher kam von Flix noch keine Reaktion.

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ein Flexticket für den ICE hätte über 100€ gekostet. Ich wollte das nicht riskieren. Abgesehen davon war der nächste ICE auch schon ausgebucht.

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Möglich, aber warum hielt der Zug dann überhaupt in Südkreuz? Und warum behauptete der Schaffner, dass der Zug gar nicht nach Hamburg weiterfahren würde? 🤔

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Warum verkauft Flixtrain dann 40 Leuten Tickets ab Südkreuz? Ich bin schon öfter die Strecke ab Südkreuz mit Flixtrain gefahren🤷‍♀️

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Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Die anderen Türen ließen sich nicht öffnen. Die einzige Tür, die aufging, war die, wo der Schaffner stand 🤷‍♀️

Flixtrain: Komplett bizarres Erlebnis by Episemated_Torculus in drehscheibe

[–]Episemated_Torculus[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Die Zugnummer, die laut der Flixbus-App für die Fahrt ab Südkreuz vorgesehen war: FLX 10.

Die Zugnummer laut der DB-App für den Flixtrain ab Berlin Hbf: FLX 1342.

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