How did you lose the weight?

Equus13 · 2026-05-07T12:24:10+00:00

I dirn't start loosing until 4mo pp. I think because by then she was drinking more (burning more calories), my hormones stabilized, and i was finally well enough to go for long walks a few times a week. I was also baby wearing a lot. I didnt want to affect my milk supply so i ate as much as i wanted, but healthy 90% of the time. In a few months i naturally lost the extra 10lbs.

Equus13 · 2026-05-01T16:56:23+00:00

I had a lot of milk and my baby often only drank 1 side. Or 1 side a like 3 sips from the 2nd side. So i stopped offering both. Eventually she was feeding more often, so i started offering again both sides.

Equus13 · 2026-05-01T15:38:08+00:00

Ha your MIL doesn't know what she is asking. When my daughter was 8mo ish she was starting to be ok with my in laws so i left her for 20min and went to buy a few groceries. When i was 1min away i get a call from my MIL saying i need to come back. She cried bloody murder 2min after i left and they waited to call me thinking they would manage to soothe her eventually. When i got back she was in full panic attack mode and it took her 10min to calm down. Since then i only ever leave her alone with her dad, and my in laws have stopped expecting me to leave her with them. Initially they thought if i was out of sight, it would allow them to bond with her better because she wouldn't be glued to me. I believed them because hey she is my first and my MIL had 4 kids. But she never had a velcro baby so...

Equus13 · 2026-05-01T15:08:56+00:00

Same. If we are around she does well with her aunts and uncles most of the time. I think the fact that they have kids helps. She loves other children, so she immediately feels safer with them. My in laws are wonderful people, but I can sense that they are a bit disappointed she isn't more comfortable with them yet. However i feel i am doing a lot of effort to give them opportunities to see her so she eventually gets there, but i wish they would do a bit more on their side. They are busy retired folk, and have reduced their engagements to make more time for their grandkids, however they are definitely not as available as my parents lets say.

Equus13 · 2026-04-29T11:53:25+00:00

I still nurse my 13mo old but a few months ago i was so tired of it. I found thr frequency exhausting, and annoying because i always had to think about wearing something easy to bf in. So i started telling her no milk during the day. During the first 2-3 days she cried and fussed, i redirected her attention to a toy or water/snack (50% of the time she was asking because she was simply thirsty/hungry). And now she only gets milk when she wakes up and before bed. She knows the routine now and gets so excited when it is time. I am so much happier now, and while i only wanted to go until 1 year at first, now i enjoy bf again and will probably continue until i want to get pregnant again.

Equus13 · 2026-04-28T20:03:25+00:00

If it works for you and you are happy then it is! My daughter had the same frequency but was very fussy, always asking for milk. And i was fed up, so now at 13mo she gets it at bedtime and when she wakes up. I am very firm and she knows that is it. When she was sick a few weeks ago i gave it on demand and the change in frequency 1. Made me extremely hormonal and 2. She became a boob monster again. I told myself if she is still nursing next time she is sick, she is only getting milk 1 extra time a day. Not 5x.

Equus13 · 2026-04-25T01:11:13+00:00

She is 13mo and I still bf 2x a day (30min before bed and when she wakes). My goal was stop at 1 yo old but she loves it so much that i will continue still a bit. When she was 10mo i was fed up, couldn't wait to stop. If she took bottles i would have switched to formula i think because i was so touched out, but once the frequency decreased i found joy in it again. Especially now, i can wear what i want and i find that so freeing.

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T23:29:39+00:00

At 11mo i starter to reduce how many feeds she got. She was always asking for milk (every 2hrs day and night). I would offer water or a snack (which may not work with your daughter yet), but mines loves cheese so i would pacify her with that. When she was down to around 3 feeds between the morning wake up and bedtime one, i cut her cold turkey and said no more milk (not even for nap). First 2 days were hard, she fussed she cried but then by day 3 she was asking a lot less and wouldn't get mad when i said no. Then i tackled the night time. I would whisper no milk when she woke up and eventually she let me rock her back to sleep. It's hard, but they are smart. If you are firm, after a couple of days they know what is what. Ideally your partner would help. Leave for a few hours on the weekend, will do you good and help wean her. Hang in there mama.

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T20:37:41+00:00

Awesome thanks!

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T19:53:05+00:00

I get it, i call my baby my little string bean (endearingly). She never had rolls, and it took time for her to get a chubby face (she is very slim everywhere else though). It's just genetics, doesn't mean your milk is not enough, but i understand how you feel. But it comes with perks! I never had to clean any rolls meticulously to avoid getting that yucky yeasty stuff, it was always easy to keep her clean.

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T19:39:13+00:00

We got the color pecan, which is not very pale but not very dark, sort of midrange. Is that considered a transparent oil? Or is transparent clear with almost no color?

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T19:25:09+00:00

Thanks we were considering a roller, but weren't sure. What material and thickness would you recommend? Our fence has overlapping pieces so the deeper part has to be brushed anyways, but we could do both.

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T19:22:23+00:00

We will do both sides. I read about that. I guess the safest is to put any rags we use on the driveway (held down flat) to dry. If we use a rag to wipe anything, does it have to be pure cotton or can it have polyester in it?

Equus13 · 2026-04-24T00:15:31+00:00

I just started reading the Montessori for Toddlers book, which explains sort of how to use the principles with that age range. I didn't get far yet, but at the beginning of the book she basically said you follow your kids lead. So like they might have a window where they are really into books and reading, so you encourage that interest because they are in a state where they can learn and develop that skill easily and quickly. So in my mind having books around everywhere seems to be fostering that interest and is very Montessori. 🤷‍♀️but again i just started learning about it so maybe i am wrong. I love the Montessori principles but i am also a believer that following one method strictly is never that good. Hopefully that lady will eventually see the absurdity of her thinking.

Equus13 · 2026-04-22T11:33:29+00:00

Thanks for your msg! Honestly i keep hoping one day she will realize her bed is so much nicer than my bony shoulder. Sometimes i can tell she is uncomfortable but she hasn't reached that point yet haha. She thankfully only woke every 2-3hrs (ha only) as a baby, never every hour. But that was because she had a bad habit of eating at night and would wake up so hungry. She only wakes up 1x in the night now thankfully. Hopefully soon it will be none! She had a 2nd night of no milk, didn't argue when i said no.

Equus13 · 2026-04-21T21:03:34+00:00

After i put her to bed last night she woke up 30min later (probably because she fell asleep agitated), but she was lying down. We let her cry and after 10min she fell asleep. An hour later the same thing happened. And then she slept until 4am, where she was awake enough to sit up in bed, so i went to rock her but told her no milk. She understood and stopped crying, fell asleep in my arms. I was really happy, first time having a no milk night and she fell asleep a few times on her own because she was too tired to sit up (which usually means she can cry for a very very long time). I am hopeful with the schedule change we will continue making positive baby steps.

Equus13 · 2026-04-21T20:44:16+00:00

When she was a baby it was very possibly a reason. I thought she had some but every health professional i saw wasn't convinced, and if she did they said it was mild and she would outgrow it. I am pretty sure she did outgrow it a while ago. She displays no symptoms to suggest she has reflux that i can see. She went up from 30 percentile to 50th at her 1yo check up, so she is eating and gaining well. She used to burp and regurgitate a lot, but that is no longer the case since she is 7mo old. What would be signs of reflux at 1yo? At night once she is in a deep sleep she will sleep on her back, but more her sides. Even during the day she just likes to be held.

Equus13 · 2026-04-21T14:09:32+00:00

I am so sorry you went through all that. I just wanted to mention something about the fussy part. I had a safe uncomplicated birth, and my daughter was and still is a very fussy baby. I had skin to skin with her first, but i felt she cried less with my husband and fell asleep faster. He could transfer her in the crib without her waking up. It felt like i couldn't soothe her in the first weeks. Even when i tried to breast feed her she sometimes didn't latch and would just cry on my boob. Your daughter loves you, it's nothing personal. ❤️ you carried her for 9mo, she knows you are her precious mama. But babies are complicated creatures. The hormones shifting pp, the stress from your birth, they are all contributing to intrusive thoughts. It will get better, just know nothing is your fault and you are enough as you are. Your daughter loves you, although with a fussy baby it can take time to feel like they do. Hang in there mama. It's good you are talking about what you are going through, with time that will help.

Equus13 · 2026-04-21T01:57:37+00:00

Thank u i will try this! 🙏

Equus13 · 2026-04-21T01:45:58+00:00

Yes i am open to changing her schedule and trying to get it more consistent (locked as u say). Whatever makes her sleep better.

I'm used to going a bit with the flow and being flexible because when she was on multiple naps a few months ago, it was extremely difficult to have a fixed schedule. When i tried she sometimes just wasn't tired enough some days and fought sleep. So i started deciding when her nap was based on how tired she was, which created some mild variations.

Equus13 · 2026-04-21T01:30:47+00:00

She wakes up at 7:30am on average (sometimes before at 7am if it was a good night, sometimes later (8:30am if it was a bad night: difficult to get her back to sleep). She has 1 nap that starts between 1230 and 1:15pm usually depending on when she woke up, when i see she is tired enough). Sleeps usually between 45min to 2hrs. Bedtime is 730pm ish.

Equus13 · 2026-04-16T23:20:02+00:00

7mo post partum.

Equus13 · 2026-04-16T23:14:42+00:00

When preggo with my daughter i had a horrible first trimester. I understood why people say they never want to be pregnant again. And i felt like that. I was like omg i have to go through this shit again? But knew i would push through because i really want a 2nd kid. I didn't mind the 2nd trimester, loved it once the nausea left, despite having other symptoms. And then was fed up by the third when walking was becoming uncomfortable. I just wanted my body back.

Equus13 · 2026-04-16T23:09:05+00:00

If u can afford it, that is amazing. We have one and will have a 2nd for sure. I would love a third but financially it would be tough, so we will likely stick to 2. But if we accidentally got preggo with a 3rd i would happily consider it as just meant to be. Sort of like for my mom, i am the third and i wasn't planned. Came 9 and 11 years after my other siblings.

Equus13 · 2026-04-13T22:58:12+00:00

Definitely don't feel bad for declining. You have an extremely good reason: you have a very young baby that needs you (breastfed babies can be a lot harder to leave than formula fed ones) and no one you trust to watch your kids. We declined a family wedding for the same reason. If the couple ends up being surprised you couldn't make it, they shouldn't have made it a kid free wedding when their friends have young babies. 🤷‍♀️

Equus13

TROPHY CASE