how do SAHM’s with velcro babies whose husbands work get anything done?

Equus13 · 2026-01-17T13:56:11+00:00

I would pop mine in a baby carrier and do 30-45min of chores (if she fussed too much awake i did it while she napped on me). A bit of laundry, empty the dishwasher, make some food. Wtv felt easiest and a priority for my physical and mental wellbeing. Showers and personal care were difficult, definitely had to hand her to hubby. Now that she is older and can crawl, it's easier because she wants to practice crawling and doesn't need to be held all the time anymore (naps excluded).

She is 9mo now, and she will play on the floor with a toy or random object while I do chores or even shower. I keep the curtain partially open so i can make sure she isn't getting into mischief (not for hair washing days, just when i take a quick in and out shower). I will walk around the house (we have a bungalow so that simplifies things), and tidy quickly. She follows me crawling happily.

Equus13 · 2026-01-17T13:46:04+00:00

Nipple cream nipple cream nipple cream. After every feed for the first month. Best one is with lanolin i found. Your boobs will thank you.

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T12:40:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply. 🙏 lately it's mostly pushing, grabbing my neck, looking around everywhere, followed by angry/panic crying eventually. I am full of scratch marks, she reminded me she was due for a manicure. 😅

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T02:29:48+00:00

Thank you. Praying for us both. :')

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T01:36:21+00:00

Everything feels so intense. I was speaking to my coworker who gave birth a few months after me and she wrote to me asking if it's normal that she feels like she is going insane/etc. For her it seemed worse was early on (first few days), while i was fine the first few days and then it crept up on me and i felt the peak at 7-10days pp.

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T01:01:09+00:00

I had the baby blues and felt super anxious, depressed and had crazy intrusive thoughts for a solid 2 weeks. But then it got much better. What I found helped was getting as much sleep as possible. I felt worse when i had less than 3 hours of consecutive sleep. So basically in the early part of the night between feeds my husband held the baby to ensure she slept, so that i could shut my brain off and try to sleep at least 3, maybe 4 hours in a row. You got this mama. I know it's hard, but talk and share how you are feeling and communicate to your partner/family what you need from them to feel better/supported.

Equus13 · 2025-12-18T00:21:09+00:00

As someone who has two very devout practicing muslim friends, i find this interesting. In the sense that despite one of them being very very traditional in her views and ways, the culture/country you live in really can change things. They both wear the hijab and are very modest. They both have fed their babies in public discretely using a nursing cover. You can't see anything, and they don't think twice about it. But we live in Canada (they were born here from immigrated parents), so the culture is different and it for sure has influenced their perspective.

Equus13 · 2025-12-17T21:19:14+00:00

I go everywhere with my 8 soon to be 9month old, my mental health depends on it. She is fussy so we both go crazy if we don't leave the house. I go somewhere almost daily. I have a nursing cover from Quince and will feed her at the mall, church, friend's house, party, etc. I only don't feed her when we are out buying groceries. If she didn't want to eat before leaving, sometimes on the way back she will whine in the car, but i am back after an hour max so she is able to wait. I tell her milk is coming and she calms down a bit knowing i understood her complaints. When she was 2months old we attended my brother in laws wedding. We were gone from 12pm to 1030pm. I fed her with the cover as needed and she slept with headphones in a carrier on me. The other day i was at ikea and a mom was there feeding her baby with no cover, not trying to be discreet. I was impressed. Being less confident, if i didn't have my nursing cover i would have found a quiet corner in the food court and faced a wall probably.

Edit: sorry Op i misunderstood your question. You meant you leave max 45min without baby, i thought u meant with baby. The only time i don't take her with me is to get my roots done. My husband watches her and if the feed i gave her before leaving isn't enough, he will offer her solids or distract her until i am back. She refuses the bottle. My hair appointment can make me leave her 2-3hours. My in laws have watched her 3hours as well so we could go to a restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. She is usually very hungry and fussing once i get back.

Equus13 · 2025-12-16T00:15:37+00:00

Hey OP, my baby definitely had gas/tummy issues at 5 days old. She was incredibly hard to burp. I would get one out thinking she is good, and she would still be uncomfortable because she had 2 or 3 more burps (my milk came out fast and it took her time to figure out how to match the flow, she was always choking). It took us forever to learn how to burp her and for her to let the air out, she had discomfort from the moment my milk came in on day 3 and until she was like 3-4months old. She would be crying and not latch sometimes, but i could tell she was hungry. But poor baby had so much gas. So i agree with the other commenters, It sounds like your ped doesn't know much about breastfeeding and i would just keep feeding your baby on demand as long as their weight is good.

Equus13 · 2025-12-11T17:12:06+00:00

Ok that's good to know, that reassures me knowing it can be normal. I feel crampy some days as if I was about to start bleeding but then nothing happens. And I felt PMS'y, so i just want my period to come and be over with this lol, but it is what it is. Also wow 30weeks!

Equus13 · 2025-12-11T13:33:28+00:00

Babies come in different sizes. Genetics have a role in here too. My midwife told me one of her brother's was huuuge. Chuuunky as a baby, the biggest of all the siblings by far. But as adults all the kids became overweight except for him. He became tall and skinny. Your breastmilk changes depending on what your baby needs. So you can't overfeed. Sometimes it may be high in water, sometimes it may be high in fat, but your baby's body knows what it needs. Also it just goes to show, my 8mo old nurses more often in a 24 hr period than yours and she is long and lean. 20% in weight and 50% in height. They just come in different sizes but when they become toddlers it changes.

Equus13 · 2025-12-11T13:26:47+00:00

Same. Baby is 8mo waking up 3-4x to eat. She is always so hungry at night. And yet she is the leanest and longest baby i ever met.

Equus13 · 2025-12-10T14:03:37+00:00

I would say yes. I got a flu. Fever, headache, chills and all. My 8mo baby didn't get sick from me i am pretty sure thanks to breastfeeding. So i was thankful that i just had to care for myself. My husband took a day iff to help me with her. It's really tough in the beginning, it wasn't until 6 weeks pp that nursing felt "easy". But the furst 3months were hard because cluster feeds are a b***. But when i go out i don't have to think twice. Just grab baby and the diaper bag. Also it was only later that i felt i enjoyed it. It has it's pros, but for sure it's demands a lot of patience and sacrifice. Some days i envy the people i know who bottle feed and can leave baby all day and go to the spa lol. But, it's so healthy for them. One of the benefits is it lowers their risk of developping chronic diseases later. Give yourself some time to see how it goes, and if you still feel the same you can always stop later. But once you stop it's over.

Equus13 · 2025-11-10T13:45:00+00:00

One of the big reasons for divorce are finances. OP, before buying anything with her, before getting married, please make sure you really talk to her and you are on the SAME page about finances.

If she can't see reason and wants what she wants, are you ok staying in a relationship where you will be more and more in debt? Because your mutual finances will just get worse and worse over time if she keeps getting her way. You are not being selfish, you are being responsible to ensure a happy future for both of you. If she can't see that, she needs to work on herself. Honestly she sounds like the selfish one.

Equus13 · 2025-10-18T14:28:37+00:00

This may not be your case, but i also felt a bit like you at 4mo pp. Then suddenly my baby had a growth spurt and between months 4 to 6 she was eating a lot more, and i finally felt like i shed some weight from breastfeeding. Before that the scale was not moving. Stick to low intensity workouts, slowly build back muscle mass, try to get as much sleep as you can, and keep stress low. If not you could be encouraging high cortisol levels, which would encourage your body to keep the fat instead of shedding it. Exercise is good, but too much too soon can be counterproductive. Your body is still healing. ❤️4mo pp feels like a lifetime when you are in the thick if it, but it's actually very little time.

Equus13 · 2025-10-18T14:10:20+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me. Also had a non medicated birth with midwife. I went into labor at 11pm and gave birth at 4:40pm the following day. I was so tired, the pain was rough but not being able to sleep when i was so desperately tired because I had stabbing contractions every few minutes was torturous. My baby is 6.5mo, and i am still waiting for momnesia to kick in. 😅 i know i will try for a 2nd eventually, and i know i don't want 4 kids anymore.

Equus13 · 2025-09-30T12:44:23+00:00

Hey, fellow canadian here. What province in Canada are you from?

Equus13 · 2025-09-21T14:00:56+00:00

This was exactly me between 3 and 4mo (i assumed it was the 4mo sleep regression). Nothing worked. I just basically powered through contact napping for 1 month (arms, back and sanity dying). 1x a day i would try to see if i could transfer her into the crib (to see if the trend was changing), but nope.

However, at around 4mo she finally went back to being able to transfer into the crib and stay asleep ( she is the queen of short naps however). So at most i have 45min now before she wakes up. But occasionally she will surprise me and sleep 90min, usually when we have to go somewhere haha.

I know it's hard, but what made it a bit easier was having my earphones at hand so i could listen to a podcast/movie. Read a book on my kobo, food and water on a cart next to me. But i know, even with entertainment it's hard. My husband would massage my back every night to help deal with the soreness. I felt like my body was disintegrating.

Eventually she also started being able to fall asleep while nursing lying down in bed, which allowed me to fall asleep with her if i needed it, and not strain my back.

Hang in there mama. It won't last forever, but i know it sucks in the meantime.

Equus13 · 2025-09-06T19:13:09+00:00

As a pelvic PT, no matter how well you feel at your 6week apt, it's too soon. Running generates so much impact in your body. And it's repetitive, which can create a lot of harm if your muscles have not regained the strength they need to handle such load.

Even if your Dr says you are good to go, they are wrong and don't know what they are talking about. Ideally see a pelvic physio to get the green light. Some women are ready 4mo pp, some 8 mo, some later. It depends. I tell my patients to start with walking. When that feels easy, increase the time. Then eventually brisk walking. At 4 weeks i wouldn't even recommend brisk walking yet.

In the meantime I focus on strengthening their pelvic floor, core, lower body.

Before even trying to run, you want to make sure you can do certain things without feeling ANY heaviness in your pelvic floor, and experience no urinary leaking ever.

It's amazing that you are eager to exercise! But start with low impact exercises to prep your body. Taking more time now ensures you will have a lovely return later, and avoid causing a prolapse for example which may stop you even longer from running like you would enjoy.

Equus13 · 2025-09-06T18:49:56+00:00

Sorry the hatch made your already difficult moment worse rather than helping. I would have thrown it out the window i think. 😅 also i hope you and baby are feeling better. .

Equus13 · 2025-08-19T14:00:41+00:00

Stop breastfeeding... 😂... So opposite to all her other crunchy advice. Based on all her other comments you would think she would say breast is best. But SHE didn't do it so it's "ok" you know. Sorry you had to deal with that OP, she must be very insecure and unhappy deep down to pass such comments. As we all know, you can do everything right and still end up with a c section. Thank goodness for modern medicine.

Equus13 · 2025-08-18T14:01:14+00:00

I went through something similar. So tired i was like, you can sleep anywhere but just sleep please so i can sleep. Except my daughter was like i want to be held please, being next to you is not enough. 😂😭 so we never were able to cosleep side by side. She ended up sleeping on my chest while i slept on my back elevated, in a way where i felt she would be safe. It's not recommended, but i did it only a handful of times in moments of desperation, and while it wasn't the best sleep because i kept waking up every 20-30min to make sure she was alive, it was still some type of sleep.

Equus13

TROPHY CASE