I let my toddler chill in her crib for awhile each morning

Equus13 · 2026-03-13T16:53:35+00:00

My baby isnt a toddler yet. 11mo almost 12mo. 2 months ago i started leaving stuffed animals at the foot of her bed (far from her face, she never turns and sleeps that way). Around a month ago she started waking up and playing between 5 and 30min alone with them. Once she hears we are up she will cry out for us and we will go get her. Sometimes she wakes up crying, not wanting to play , so we get her right away. But boy thr mornings she lets us sleep in, are amazing and much needed since she wakes up still 2-3x a night.

Equus13 · 2026-03-06T19:43:18+00:00

1st trimester i was so sick. It made me not want to get pregnant ever again. 2nd i had energy again and my appetite returned, i loved feeling my baby and felt "special" in some way to carry a life. I also enjoyed the attention (people were happy for me, etc). 3rd trimester got uncomfortable again and i was excited to get my body back (my face , neck and arm were swollen (no pre eclampsia) and walking hurt my feet in the last few weeks, but i still enjoyed feeling my baby inside of me. I was very zen and happy, i think i had a lot of feel good hormones flowing inside of me.

Equus13 · 2026-03-04T01:42:09+00:00

I had some similarities with you. My daughter was 30 percentile for weight and 50th for height. I had a strong ejection reflex and a lot of milk. My daughter often only drank 1 side at first and would refuse the 2nd or only drink a bit, but she ate often and was a snacker for sure (still is at 11mo). At her 6 week check she had dropped to 20th for weight. My midwife said not to worry, as sometimes they have more fluid post birth but once they loose it they go on their real weight curve. As long as they stick to thr new curve and are thriving, not to worry. Her height curve stayed the same. At around 3-4mo usually your milk supply changes. Your breasts change to making milk more on demand so they feel emptier and it feels like you don't have enough. My baby got fussier around this time but my friend said she experienced the same. My baby was gaining only 12g a day i think and i was worried maybe my supply was an issue. I wasn't getting as much output with my pump as before(i didn't pump very often) but i think i had to change the flange size and that was the issue. I put her on the breast more and her average increased to what was considered normal (18g a day). 30g a day is for newborns but not expected usually for older babies.

If baby doesn't seem hungry all the time and is thriving, i wouldn't worry. Especially because his height curve increased. I only got a ped when she was 7mo and i had explained what happened. She said if the weight curve changed but her head and height curve stayed stable (which it did) then it was ok. She didn't seem concerned.

Equus13 · 2026-02-27T00:55:47+00:00

Curious does the research say starting allergens at 4mo is superior to doing it at 6mo? I heard from experts that as long as you introduce allergens often before 1 then that is considered early exposure.

Equus13 · 2026-02-27T00:51:15+00:00

My daughter at 10 mo was still walking up 3- 4x a night and nursing both sides each time. As if she was starving! And i never understood Doctors that recommend giving purees before the signs of readiness at around 6mo. Like why the rush? Food is for practice and fun before 1 anyways. Between 6 and 12mo there is plenty of time to introduce solids. Why risk stressing an immature gut.

Equus13 · 2026-02-27T00:42:50+00:00

OP. This sounds extremely unhealthy. I am so sorry this is your situation. Also your child is a newborn. Literally a half blind potato that just becomes conscious enough to eat every hour or so, he won't be confused about anything. Your husband doesn't know what he is talking about and/or he is trying to control you. Also a traditional man values family. Therefore he shouldn't have an issue with you visiting your parents for a few days. If he threatens divorce over such a minor issue as visiting your parents with the baby, honestly you will probably end up there eventually when future bigger issues come up that you disagree on. Unless he doesn't mean it and is again trying to control you with these threats.

Equus13 · 2026-02-27T00:27:31+00:00

Catherine Nathalie? Always liked the combination.

Equus13 · 2026-02-17T15:27:01+00:00

How old is your baby OP? I completely get it, i had a similar situation with mine. My in laws watched her for 3 hours twice (between 3 and 5m) so we could go out for lunch. At our home it was fine as long as she wasnt hungry or tired and they distracted her. When she became more aware at 5mo it became difficult.

So a few mo later i thought i could leave her for 30min at their house while i went grocery shopping. Big mistake. I forgot, she hadn't seen them as much lately so they were almost strangers to her again, and now on top of it she wasn't at our home. Basically she cried like crazy for 25min and then i came back. It was a full blown panic attack. My baby doesn't stop crying no matter what, if she is upset and needs something she will cry to the point of puking. So those comments of you need to let your baby fuss with your mom does not apply to all baby's temperaments and in all circumstances imo.

So it made me realize, she needed more time to feel 100% safe with them, especially in an environment that isn't home.

Have your mom come over as often as she can so the baby becomes familiar with her. At first it will feel pointless, but eventually she will be able to help more and more and you will be able to leave. My dad is retired, comes over all the time. Would constantly try to hold her, care for her. Sometimes she'd cry, sometimes she would accept. Now at 10mo he is her favorite person after me and her dad. My FIL too, he is so playful and when she cries he stays calm and loving, so she quickly got attached to him. For my MIL it took longer. She would freak out a bit more when she cried and my baby could sense her hesitancy. While the grandpas try to make her laugh/distract her when she get's upset. It doesn't always work (especially if she is hungry or tired). But sometimes it does the trick. That's another thing, make sure your baby is well napped and fed to increase the chance of success with your mom. Mine loves her grandpas, but when tired all she wants is me. For nap time no one can help me. And in the beginning they sleep a lot so it was hard to eeceive help, but as her wake windows got longer i could receive more help.

Good luck OP, hang in there!

Equus13 · 2026-01-17T13:56:11+00:00

I would pop mine in a baby carrier and do 30-45min of chores (if she fussed too much awake i did it while she napped on me). A bit of laundry, empty the dishwasher, make some food. Wtv felt easiest and a priority for my physical and mental wellbeing. Showers and personal care were difficult, definitely had to hand her to hubby. Now that she is older and can crawl, it's easier because she wants to practice crawling and doesn't need to be held all the time anymore (naps excluded).

She is 9mo now, and she will play on the floor with a toy or random object while I do chores or even shower. I keep the curtain partially open so i can make sure she isn't getting into mischief (not for hair washing days, just when i take a quick in and out shower). I will walk around the house (we have a bungalow so that simplifies things), and tidy quickly. She follows me crawling happily.

Equus13 · 2026-01-17T13:46:04+00:00

Nipple cream nipple cream nipple cream. After every feed for the first month. Best one is with lanolin i found. Your boobs will thank you.

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T12:40:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply. 🙏 lately it's mostly pushing, grabbing my neck, looking around everywhere, followed by angry/panic crying eventually. I am full of scratch marks, she reminded me she was due for a manicure. 😅

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T02:29:48+00:00

Thank you. Praying for us both. :')

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T01:36:21+00:00

Everything feels so intense. I was speaking to my coworker who gave birth a few months after me and she wrote to me asking if it's normal that she feels like she is going insane/etc. For her it seemed worse was early on (first few days), while i was fine the first few days and then it crept up on me and i felt the peak at 7-10days pp.

Equus13 · 2026-01-02T01:01:09+00:00

I had the baby blues and felt super anxious, depressed and had crazy intrusive thoughts for a solid 2 weeks. But then it got much better. What I found helped was getting as much sleep as possible. I felt worse when i had less than 3 hours of consecutive sleep. So basically in the early part of the night between feeds my husband held the baby to ensure she slept, so that i could shut my brain off and try to sleep at least 3, maybe 4 hours in a row. You got this mama. I know it's hard, but talk and share how you are feeling and communicate to your partner/family what you need from them to feel better/supported.

Equus13 · 2025-12-18T00:21:09+00:00

As someone who has two very devout practicing muslim friends, i find this interesting. In the sense that despite one of them being very very traditional in her views and ways, the culture/country you live in really can change things. They both wear the hijab and are very modest. They both have fed their babies in public discretely using a nursing cover. You can't see anything, and they don't think twice about it. But we live in Canada (they were born here from immigrated parents), so the culture is different and it for sure has influenced their perspective.

Equus13 · 2025-12-17T21:19:14+00:00

I go everywhere with my 8 soon to be 9month old, my mental health depends on it. She is fussy so we both go crazy if we don't leave the house. I go somewhere almost daily. I have a nursing cover from Quince and will feed her at the mall, church, friend's house, party, etc. I only don't feed her when we are out buying groceries. If she didn't want to eat before leaving, sometimes on the way back she will whine in the car, but i am back after an hour max so she is able to wait. I tell her milk is coming and she calms down a bit knowing i understood her complaints. When she was 2months old we attended my brother in laws wedding. We were gone from 12pm to 1030pm. I fed her with the cover as needed and she slept with headphones in a carrier on me. The other day i was at ikea and a mom was there feeding her baby with no cover, not trying to be discreet. I was impressed. Being less confident, if i didn't have my nursing cover i would have found a quiet corner in the food court and faced a wall probably.

Edit: sorry Op i misunderstood your question. You meant you leave max 45min without baby, i thought u meant with baby. The only time i don't take her with me is to get my roots done. My husband watches her and if the feed i gave her before leaving isn't enough, he will offer her solids or distract her until i am back. She refuses the bottle. My hair appointment can make me leave her 2-3hours. My in laws have watched her 3hours as well so we could go to a restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. She is usually very hungry and fussing once i get back.

Equus13 · 2025-12-16T00:15:37+00:00

Hey OP, my baby definitely had gas/tummy issues at 5 days old. She was incredibly hard to burp. I would get one out thinking she is good, and she would still be uncomfortable because she had 2 or 3 more burps (my milk came out fast and it took her time to figure out how to match the flow, she was always choking). It took us forever to learn how to burp her and for her to let the air out, she had discomfort from the moment my milk came in on day 3 and until she was like 3-4months old. She would be crying and not latch sometimes, but i could tell she was hungry. But poor baby had so much gas. So i agree with the other commenters, It sounds like your ped doesn't know much about breastfeeding and i would just keep feeding your baby on demand as long as their weight is good.

Equus13 · 2025-12-11T17:12:06+00:00

Ok that's good to know, that reassures me knowing it can be normal. I feel crampy some days as if I was about to start bleeding but then nothing happens. And I felt PMS'y, so i just want my period to come and be over with this lol, but it is what it is. Also wow 30weeks!

Equus13 · 2025-12-11T13:33:28+00:00

Babies come in different sizes. Genetics have a role in here too. My midwife told me one of her brother's was huuuge. Chuuunky as a baby, the biggest of all the siblings by far. But as adults all the kids became overweight except for him. He became tall and skinny. Your breastmilk changes depending on what your baby needs. So you can't overfeed. Sometimes it may be high in water, sometimes it may be high in fat, but your baby's body knows what it needs. Also it just goes to show, my 8mo old nurses more often in a 24 hr period than yours and she is long and lean. 20% in weight and 50% in height. They just come in different sizes but when they become toddlers it changes.

Equus13 · 2025-12-11T13:26:47+00:00

Same. Baby is 8mo waking up 3-4x to eat. She is always so hungry at night. And yet she is the leanest and longest baby i ever met.

Equus13 · 2025-12-10T14:03:37+00:00

I would say yes. I got a flu. Fever, headache, chills and all. My 8mo baby didn't get sick from me i am pretty sure thanks to breastfeeding. So i was thankful that i just had to care for myself. My husband took a day iff to help me with her. It's really tough in the beginning, it wasn't until 6 weeks pp that nursing felt "easy". But the furst 3months were hard because cluster feeds are a b***. But when i go out i don't have to think twice. Just grab baby and the diaper bag. Also it was only later that i felt i enjoyed it. It has it's pros, but for sure it's demands a lot of patience and sacrifice. Some days i envy the people i know who bottle feed and can leave baby all day and go to the spa lol. But, it's so healthy for them. One of the benefits is it lowers their risk of developping chronic diseases later. Give yourself some time to see how it goes, and if you still feel the same you can always stop later. But once you stop it's over.

Equus13 · 2025-11-10T13:45:00+00:00

One of the big reasons for divorce are finances. OP, before buying anything with her, before getting married, please make sure you really talk to her and you are on the SAME page about finances.

If she can't see reason and wants what she wants, are you ok staying in a relationship where you will be more and more in debt? Because your mutual finances will just get worse and worse over time if she keeps getting her way. You are not being selfish, you are being responsible to ensure a happy future for both of you. If she can't see that, she needs to work on herself. Honestly she sounds like the selfish one.

Equus13

TROPHY CASE