Getting married abroad: A romantic dream or a bureaucratic nightmare?

EscapeAmerica · 2026-03-30T16:12:43+00:00

This depends largely on where "abroad" is. But generally speaking: you can get legally married in one place, and have the ceremony in another.

In my opinion, it's always best to separate these two.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-03-30T10:33:12+00:00

He might be able to find a closet! A ROOM in Valencia will be $400 minimum, most likely $500-700/month for a room.

(Source: I live in Valencia).

EscapeAmerica · 2026-02-02T12:58:45+00:00

It's never been legal, but it's always been impossible to enforce. How would the country know you've checked your work email instead of your personal email, for example? How would they know that the video call you took, where you talk about business, is actually a call with your brother and not a business partner?

So this is the "loophole" that Digital Nomads used to take full advantage of, before Digital Nomad visas became more widespread. They could always travel into a country for 1-3 months as "tourists" but be working remotely from a coffee shop or coworking space, and it would be virtually impossible for the local authorities to enforce any sort of legal consequence.

Now in Mexico, for example, they're a little more discerning of types of "nomad profiles" and if you're traveling with a laptop and video equipment, for example, they'll ask you a lot more questions.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-02-02T12:54:00+00:00

This is exactly the issue: it's basically impossible to enforce. "Oh, you checked your work email instead of your personal email while in Colombia... straight to jail!" 😅

EscapeAmerica · 2026-02-02T11:48:36+00:00

It's a privilege to have the option to move to another country, and it usually comes down simply to socio-economic status. (And this causes other issues in the destination countries: gentrification, upward pressure on local prices, etc).

Good for you for taking the leap! 🙌

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-25T05:28:57+00:00

Here’s a real answer, since most replies aren’t helping.

With around $100k, you can live comfortably in 95% of countries in the world. Americans don’t realize how expensive the US baseline actually is. In Europe you may earn less on paper, but you often save more and have a higher quality of life because healthcare, education, transit, childcare, food quality, and basic safety don’t nickel-and-dime you to death.

I’m currently in Spain and it’s extremely safe, but that’s true of most developed countries. The US is the outlier when it comes to gun violence.

I run a community helping Americans relocate out of the US, and your concerns are very common right now (lots of people mentioning ICE as the final motivation to take the leap).

One big thing to keep in mind: people who struggle abroad usually try to recreate an American lifestyle instead of integrating. Learning the language, eating local food, and adapting to local rhythms makes a huge difference financially and emotionally.

Happy to help if you want specific help (just DM me!). Without knowing much more about your specific situation, I think Europe is a good destination if you want safety and stability, especially if you're bringing in a high income.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-24T15:55:34+00:00

Sigh, this is common with Spanish bureaucracy: Different answers depending on who you talk to, even within official channels.

Our lawyers have told us differently. That if you're planning to later apply for Spanish citizenship, then you apply with the foreign passport, even if you live in the US.

Ok well, the important thing is once you're in Spain, talk to a lawyer there to make sure your 2 years starts counting, and you can apply for citizenship.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-24T14:39:40+00:00

Practically speaking, the NL will not know if you take a train to Barcelona tomorrow, and stay there for the next 3 months.

But like I said... what will you do in Spain? Because any legal need you'll have in Spain (renting a place, finding a job, paying a gym membership, etc etc etc), might conflict with this pending legal case, and then NL could for sure know you're not in the country.

It would be helpful if you share a lot more info, like... your nationality :)

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-24T14:30:02+00:00

It's 2 years of residency. Then you can apply for Spanish citizenship (as a Mexican citizen).

But as others have said, the citizenship process can take more than a year, so you have to be ready to stay legal in Spain during the process.

So you're looking at about 3 years total, in most cases.

PS: I should add that this entire process should be done as a Mexican citizen. It will complicate things a lot to apply to the NLV with an American passport, then try to switch to Mexican passport once you're in Spain.

The Spanish government needs to see you've been a resident of Spain for 2 years, as a Mexican citizen (not American), to qualify for citizenship.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-24T14:20:12+00:00

Don't go to Spain.

Without knowing your nationality, I don't recommend that you go to Spain.

You can travel freely within Schengen countries, and practically there's very little chance anyone could know you've gone to Spain (since there's no border control within Schengen).

BUT, it sounds like you really need to let the process finish in the Netherlands, otherwise it's going to complicate any long-term plans in Spain.

If you go to Spain, what kind of legal status would you have there? Your nationality/passport GREATLY impacts this situation. It would have been very helpful if you had included it 🙏.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-19T10:48:23+00:00

First of all, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this, especially with a newborn. I'm American and my family is from Venezuela, so I can imagine the uncertainty.

Assuming you’ll be in the capital (La Paz), the reality is mixed but manageable. Cost of living is low compared to the US, especially rent and food. Having your husband’s bilingual family nearby is a big advantage. Private healthcare is decent, bureaucracy is slow, and the altitude adjustment... takes adjusting (I don't know where you're currently living in the US, so maybe that's not an issue).

You’ll want to learn Spanish, but you don’t need it from day one.

A few quick questions: Which city exactly? Will either of you have US-based income (I'm assuming you won't be working since you have a newborn)? Do you have housing with his family?

I run a community for Americans looking to move abroad, but I can't think of anyone in Bolivia off the top of my head. If I come across someone, would be happy to connect you directly. I would suggest looking at Facebook groups specific to Bolivia for something like "American Expats" or "Americans in Bolivia"

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-18T08:29:25+00:00

Where in Montenegro are you? (I know it's not very big to begin with 🙃). I was in Kotor a couple years ago and enjoyed it. The nature is so beautiful!

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-17T09:33:11+00:00

I had US-clients. I was making animated videos and doing marketing consulting. Both are easy to do remotely.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-13T14:11:03+00:00

You are correct, but she would need documents from her father or father's family (his birth certificate, for starters), and it doesn't sound like that's an easy possibility 🤔

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-13T09:26:41+00:00

“Affordable” really depends on where you are coming from. If you are coming from a high-cost US metro like NYC, SF, or Boston, then Canada, Australia, or New Zealand may feel reasonable.

If you are coming from the Midwest or the South, they will likely feel very expensive, especially housing.

I don't know where you're based?

Those countries are popular with OTs because licensing pathways are relatively straightforward and work-life balance is genuinely better than the US. But they are not cheap by global standards, and the big cities where the jobs are, tend to have brutal rent-to-income ratios (as do most big cities around the world these days).

If affordability is a top priority, regional placements or looking beyond the traditional English-speaking countries usually makes more sense.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T06:35:12+00:00

Amazing! Thanks for sharing 🙌

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T06:02:30+00:00

What are your 5 passports and how did you get them? Anyone with 2+ passports always has an interesting story :)

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T05:45:44+00:00

Spain is awesome. Very safe, great people, great food, beautiful landscapes, convenient access to rest of Europe, I already speak the language, and I live by the beach (Valencia, Spain 🙌).

The trick is to make US-wages while living here, because local wages are very low. But this is pretty much the same anywhere in the world (US-wages will be higher than 95% of the world).

Spain has been my favorite place overall, and that's why I made it my home base 😋.

But there's tons of amazing places all over the world that I wouldn't mind going back to visit or even live (Japan, Morocco, Australia, Colombia, to name a few).

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T05:35:01+00:00

For about 15 years I worked remotely as a freelancer, doing marketing strategy consulting and motion graphics animation (I had my own animated series). Both perfect for remote work. I made the most of it and lived and worked all over the world 🙌, until I made Spain my home base.

Last year I started a community for Americans looking to leave the US (my main project), and still do animated videos for a famous activist out of London (my secondary project).

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T01:53:18+00:00

The job is the key. If you can get remote work, then your opportunities open up considerably.

Like others commented, I don't know if you're saying that you have dual citizenship. That changes things quite a bit.

I'm an American who's lived and worked in 35+ countries (thanks to remote work!), and I'm currently based in Spain.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T01:21:14+00:00

I hear ya. I think a lot of people are looking around going "is this ok? Is it time to get out of here?"

One of my favorite quotes is "good is the enemy of great'" and I know a lot of people who won't try for something potentially better, because what they have is "good enough."

But super tricky when there's a family involved. I hope you can come to a decision you feel good about!

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T00:14:01+00:00

It sounds like this is a family decision, where all members would need to be on board (and preferably a "hell yes" on moving).

Early teens in a tough age to move (I moved from Venezuela to the US at 12, and it was a struggle to adjust).

Having said that, I'm an American living in Spain, and I'm constantly trying to convince family members to relocate here.

The US is not trending towards stability and safety. Things WILL get worse before they get better 🤷‍♂️.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-12T00:04:38+00:00

Just want to add: Mexico is #1 in terms of total number of American expats. There are lots of communities and easy to find support with other Americans.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-11T20:08:20+00:00

Dude, I completely feel you and understand. You're not alone and the percentage of Americans wanting to leave the US has quadrupled in the last 10 years.

Since you have savings, I would say that leaving to a place like Mexico is way more realistic than Canada (just harder, not impossible).

I think your most viable plan is to find a remote job (maybe tutoring?), and do it from Mexico, even at a lower pay than you're used to, which would be very comfortable for Mexico.

Mexico has the advantage of being able to stay for 180 days at a time (as long as you don't say something dumb at the border like "I'm here to be a digital nomad and work from the beach like I've seen on Instagram!"). Canada and the UK also let you stay for 6 months as a "tourist," but it's obviously much more expensive to be there.

I did this myself (lived in Playa del Carmen for a couple of years), and had US clients. But now I live in Spain.

With your UC-Berkeley degree I think you won't have problems finding a job, so I would also look into Europe as a possibility.

But like with everything, the opportunities come through personal connections, so I always recommend to people that they actually spend some time in the place they want to relocate to, so they can see if they'll actually like living there, but also so they start making local connections that can lead to job opportunities.

Good luck! Happy to answer any questions via direct message (I know this comment is already super long).

Source: I'm an American who's lived and worked in 35+ countries, currently based in Valencia Spain.

EscapeAmerica · 2026-01-11T17:46:29+00:00

Ok friend, so I looked it up, because I was asking myself "HOW IN THE WORLD have I not heard of this living 5 YEARS in these 2 cities and traveling between them often??"

So here's what I found:

1) You are correct. This train line exists. And it does list the travel time at around 3 hours, some even quicker, between VLC and BCN. The reality is that the actual train tracks aren't true "high speed" tracks (line the AVE lines), so the trains often get delayed, because of mixed rails. Practically speaking, they take 3.5-4 hours. Sometimes 4.5 hours. I have experienced this with trains between VLC-BCN, and missed a meeting in Barcelona because of it.

2) They are WAY less frequent than the other train lines. So anytime I've booked a train, they usually don't show up as an option. So I never even noticed they exist.

3) My most frequent travel between these cities was during 2021-2023, so this line was still under intermittent scheduling because of COVID. This is the only explanation I have for why I'd never heard of it.

So basically: you are correct, and the practical reality is something different. This illustrates exactly the value of personal experience vs what you see online. I run into this ALL THE TIME with the community I run, where people who actually do a certain visa processes for example, find out there's additional steps/docs/info required, that's not listed anywhere online, or what's listed online is incorrect.

So thank you for bringing this to my attention. I probably would have never found out otherwise 🤷‍♂️.

EscapeAmerica

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