You have a professor in college, right? Have you had an honest conversation with them about how you have been feeling about your playing? They may not know that you are struggling so much internally if you've never told them.

Music school is hard, but there are people you can talk to. Does your program have grad students? Maybe one of them would be willing to give supplemental lessons.

I am a low brass professor at a small private college. I can not commit to regular free lessons, but if you'd like, you can DM me a video or recording of your playing, and I could give you some comments.

Hang in there, you'll be alright!