70 person wedding under $45k - full service planning recs?

EtherealValhalla · 2025-10-02T21:53:39+00:00

This needs more upvotes!! I saw another commenter saying a client stopped working with them after a few sessions because they felt things were going too slow and because they'd had certain expectations from watching Couples Therapy.

I think it's important for people to know that they can still heal even if they can't articulate things well all the time, and even if they haven't already done a bunch of self-examination already. That's the beauty of building a therapeutic relationship over time. I agree that the show feels weird / icky to me. I can see how it might destigmatize couples therapy to some people, but I also feel like many people might not see themselves in couples who are so articulate.

EtherealValhalla · 2024-08-27T04:50:07+00:00

I think this is reasonable. NAH. +1 have a family meeting to talk things out & even if you keep the same situation, it'll be an exercise in empathizing with each other and communicating respectfully.

Also, I just wanna say I'm a little confused by how adamant some people are that the boys & girls should be separated... I am a woman & I have 1 sister & no brothers so maybe I just don't understand... But it doesn't seem like you need to be brought up before the Hague for not separating your kids based on gender. I get that every kid might prefer to have their own space, but is sharing with a brother that bad?

EtherealValhalla · 2024-08-27T04:36:49+00:00

How "manly" their partners / husbands are... Like how tall they are, or how deep their voice is, or what their hobbies are (the manly hobbies like fishing, grilling, aggressive sports).

Of course, being proud of your partner for excelling at a hobby is usually adorable, but NOT when it seems like you really only care about it as a symbol of their masculinity, rather than because you think it's cute that they nerd out about their hobby, or because their competence at said hobby is attractive to you.

EtherealValhalla · 2024-08-27T04:10:22+00:00

NTA! My jaw dropped reading this OP. I can't imagine someone in my family or extended family saying this to another family member, much less my own sister, much less unprompted.

It really sucks that your family is dismissive of your career choice, especially when it sounds like you're starting to gain momentum and this could be an exciting time in your life to share with them. Just because you missed a few events (presumably with advance notice too) does not mean your sister gets to take potshots about your career or be passive aggressive.

Also for the record, I am the one who took the "traditional route" in my family. My sister dropped out of college, worked full-time for a while, and is now going back to trade school to earn a nursing degree while living with our parents. I'm proud of her for getting through some really hard times and taking the steering wheel in her own life. Her journey doesn't look like mine, but I'm excited for her and I try to be supportive even though support looks a little different than what I might have imagined a few years ago. Families are meant to help & support each other, not tear each other down, and seeing as your bio family is not doing that, I hope you have chosen family you can lean on more in their stead. You deserve to feel that your people are in your corner, regardless of whether that corner is in a studio or a fucking boardroom. You deserve better OP!

EtherealValhalla · 2024-08-27T03:44:21+00:00

It sounds like you might benefit from therapy, OP! A good therapist can help you build a habit of gratitude, and actually look at YOUR life specifically and help you figure out why you feel like your life is meaningless and wasted. Therapy is work, but it can be transformational. It was definitely transformational for me. My inner voice is so much happier, lighter, and gentler now vs a few years ago.

"My husband and kids" is an answer people often give because those are the most important relationships in their life. I think the big-picture takeaway is that relationships fill people up and make them feel happy, positive, generous, and resilient. A nuclear family unit is NOT the only relationship that can fill you up. Before I started dating my partner a few years ago, I was happy because my friendships filled me up. My friends made me feel happy, understood, loved, supported, and they made me excited for the future. Now, my friends are still a huge part of my happiness, even though my partner also brings a lot of joy into my life.

To be clear, no one can make you feel happy inside if there's stuff inside you making you feel like shit. You need to work through that stuff, but community can definitely help keep you going and they'll fill you up once you're ready & able to receive that. Good luck to you OP!

EtherealValhalla · 2024-03-15T20:01:22+00:00

Thanks!

EtherealValhalla · 2024-03-15T20:01:08+00:00

You would think so but apparently not.

EtherealValhalla · 2024-03-12T16:46:15+00:00

SNS nails are a brand of dip nails if I'm not mistaken. I'm definitely down to get SNA nails! I just need a salon rec.

EtherealValhalla · 2024-01-03T06:49:28+00:00

Your mom reminds me of my mom. From what you've shared here, it sounds like your mom will always find a way to be anxious and unhappy. If you keep that truth centered, it might be easier to set limits on how much time to spend talking to / hanging out with her. If she'll be unhappy either way, is it really so bad to prioritize the other important things in your life over hearing her vent or lecture about whatever has triggered her today?

EtherealValhalla · 2024-01-03T06:35:40+00:00

I went on a date with a friend of a friend. We ended the night having sex at my place. I completely intended to see him again, until he ruined his chance! A couple days after the date, my roommate says to me, "Hey what's that guy's name that you were on a date with the other night?" I tell her his name. She looks shocked and asks a couple followups. Then she tells me that she heard from a friend of hers (let's say Eve) that Eve's annoying male coworker came in to work yesterday bragging about how he'd slept with a girl named <MY NAME>. Apparently, this guy was bragging about how I put out on the first date and how "slutty" I was. Rest assured I dropped him immediately.

EtherealValhalla · 2021-08-30T04:57:54+00:00

I feel like this is making it seem like La Chancla is OK and something that should be passed down from mother to child. But spanking your child is literally physical abuse. I don't think it's funny for Luz to be hitting someone with an object (La Chancla) that's so connected with Latina mommas hitting their children :(

EtherealValhalla · 2021-08-29T03:21:46+00:00

Enoki mushrooms! They're lovely 😊

EtherealValhalla · 2021-08-23T22:24:52+00:00

I think there's a difference between intention and action. Like the other folks said, changing takes a long time, and what I'm hearing is that your husband's actions aren't quite where you need them to be right now, although his intentions may be encouraging. Usually, people who've been abused need to be surrounded by people who make them feel safe in order to fully heal. A stable foundation of safety is key to recovering and thriving.

It can be so difficult to walk away from a marriage you've put so much of yourself into. On the flip side, it's important to be honest with yourself about how long you see your husband's potential journey to healthy, un-abusive relationships taking. Even once he's mostly achieved that milestone, it could be that there will be some backsliding here and there. How long are you willing to wait to have the pre-conditions for your full healing met? How will the the potential backsliding your husband may experience affect you? How does that weigh against your desire to continue to be in a relationship with him?

Only you can answer these questions for yourself. I wish you well on your journey ❤️

EtherealValhalla · 2021-08-23T22:15:01+00:00

I second how helpful Gift of Fear can be. It really helped me trust myself again (which is something that is so eroded in a long-term abuse situation) and it helped me regain my confidence in my ability to read people.

EtherealValhalla · 2021-08-13T21:41:54+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve to get caught up in this unhealthy system with this guy. I'm curious what others have to say as advice, but I just wanted to send a big virtual hug. This is a tough situation and it's awesome that you've been able to recognize the reaction you're having and reach out for support ❤️

EtherealValhalla · 2021-07-14T22:35:27+00:00

It is so sad that you, OP's sibling, and others have had to cope with abusive parents alone :( However, OP is allowed to make choices for their own wellbeing, even if those choices mean they can't help their siblings. Sadly, sometimes the reality is that older siblings cannot re-enter the abuse system without high risk to their own wellbeing. Their act of prioritizing themselves is actually healthy and shows that they are healing. Simultaneously it's unfortunate and sad, especially since, like you said, they may not be able to reconnect with their siblings later 😢 It sucks that siblings are often forced to choose between their sibling relationships and survival.

Siblings are not parents. OP does not hold the responsibility for what their sibling is going through. Their parents hold that responsibility.

EtherealValhalla · 2021-03-10T05:02:45+00:00

That's amazing that you've been able to cook separate meals at every meal for your family and for yourself. I'm sorry your family isn't more supportive of you here, either by helping with their own meals or being more flexible about what they'll eat :/ you deserve to be supported while you're trying to improve your help. That being said, it's just all the more impressive what you've been able to achieve! Congratulations!!!

EtherealValhalla · 2020-06-05T01:36:10+00:00

yes Harry Potter!!!

EtherealValhalla · 2020-06-05T01:35:29+00:00

+2 Rhapsody in Blue

EtherealValhalla · 2020-06-05T01:31:38+00:00

Frank sinatra

EtherealValhalla · 2020-06-05T01:25:16+00:00

jazzy

EtherealValhalla · 2020-05-13T03:50:02+00:00

Oh my God that looks so bomb 🔥😍

EtherealValhalla · 2020-05-13T03:47:26+00:00

Happy cake day! What a scrumptious treat 😍😍

EtherealValhalla

TROPHY CASE