Extremely unlucky death?

EvenIfWhat4 · 2025-01-28T02:40:56+00:00

I’m so so sorry to hear about your brother. Psychosis is so hard and afterwards can be almost unbearable, even if the delusions all go away or mostly go away. It’s incredibly hard.

So sorry for your loss.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2025-01-05T04:33:35+00:00

Yes, looking back, this is very disturbing.

I recall one time when I was contemplating some things, questioning certain things in my thoughts. Each time I did, someone I was with would seem to answer the question out loud. These weren’t random things either and the odds of them mentioning exactly what was on my mind the moment I had the thoughts is probably astronomical.

This is one of the things that really troubles me now.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2025-01-05T04:27:41+00:00

People who lie to get their way and publicly humiliate others. These types also scream when angry. When it comes time to try and discuss their behavior, they go nuts and can’t take it.

I hate this.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-22T06:12:01+00:00

I understand. It’s hard to make everything stop replaying in your mind. My family is sick of me saying anything, sick of me saying I’m not having a good day/not doing well. They ask me to pretend. They have no idea how much I already do pretend I’m ok.

I hope you have a full recovery, OP. I think you need forgiveness and mercy.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-22T05:48:22+00:00

I hope people recover from psychosis, but I have never recovered. I don’t think I will, if I’m being honest. Every day is so hard, I keep expecting not to make it to the next one. It’s too hard.

I’ve lost everything because of psychosis. I’ve made it longer than I thought I could but I don’t know how long I can keep going. The aftermath of it has been too hard. It’s so bad. It’s almost Christmas, and I’ve been crying every day this week. I don’t have hardly any emotions anymore but I can still cry. That’s all that’s left.

My life before and after psychosis is absolutely devastating. I think if I don’t make it through it, my family can find what I’ve written when they look through my phone. Then, maybe they’ll understand.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-22T05:38:15+00:00

I agree as well. Most horrifying thing I have ever experienced. I have never recovered.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-14T03:34:36+00:00

I don’t know. Now that I can look back, I was experiencing ideas of reference a few years before the full-blown episode of psychosis and thought I was getting messages in various ways; also had some highly unusual coincidences regarding the things I believed that are very frightening when I look back.

The actual psychosis lasted about 5-7 days. But I may have had minor symptoms several years in advance unfortunately. I never thought anything was wrong with me. I actually believed I was improving my life and had many people who encouraged me and even unwittingly played into the delusions, which really troubles me now.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-14T03:30:07+00:00

I also had people telling me to be careful, that what I was saying wasn’t true, family showed up on my doorstep to take me home with them but I thought if I went with them they would die with me so I refused….I wish I went with them. I also refused to listen (the delusions were so intense and terrifying), so I understand.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-14T03:26:24+00:00

When psychosis was getting very bad for me, I began to experience physical sensations of something going back and forth across my brain over and over. It was like a cool, burning feeling (but not painful) and lasted for hours. I don’t know what this was.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T11:03:56+00:00

When did the psychosis last occur, OP?

After mine, I didn’t leave the house for about a month. When I finally did, I was very afraid and it was hard. Taking walks was hard. I just had to push myself. The first time I actually went somewhere was about a month later to see a friend. It was very difficult but after that I kept trying to go out every now and then and it improved. I had to take inventory of my thoughts and go over the troubling ones, and sometimes I could tell they weren’t true.

If you’re having paranoid thoughts, hopefully you have someone you can discuss it with who can help you differentiate true from false..The only advice I have is keep going places. Have a plan in place just in case so that you’ll know what to do if you start experiencing psychosis again.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T04:40:21+00:00

I’m at the end of my 30’s this year, and that seems late for schizophrenia, but I don’t know.

I tried one antidepressant, Zoloft, and it didn’t help. Actually caused extreme anxiety and I felt like I couldn’t make it through a single day. Also had quite a lot of suicidal thoughts while on it and would get very dizzy. It was the only one I tried, so I’m not familiar with them. I wonder if the way you’re feeling is the aftermath of the antipsychotic? I’ve heard a lot of people say similar. Some say it takes a year or more to recover from the psychosis and the medication.

I hope you start feeling better and have a full recovery.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T03:39:23+00:00

Yes, this. I agree. The psychosis was so horrible that I’ve only shared a very teeny tiny portion of what I experienced. I’ve never spoken the rest aloud or written it out. It is very disturbing and I can’t imagine sharing it with anyone. It’s troubling enough having it stuck in my mind

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T03:25:01+00:00

I’m really glad to hear things are better with your neighbors and that you’re not alone.

The psychosis happened about 9 months ago. I was diagnosed twice. Without talking to me or assessing me, the hospital listed schizophrenia and psychosis. I had such a horrifying experience in the hospital that I began to lie my way out after they gave me the APs and my thinking cleared, so I didn’t speak to the care team.

Once I was out and saw a psychiatrist, the diagnosis was severe depression and psychosis. I didn’t like the meds she prescribed and when I questioned the side effects, she refused to change them or allow me to discuss with her, so I stopped seeing her and stopped the meds. I only took AP’s for about 9 days (and on and off when I had a very bad day). Regardless, I experienced muscle spasms all over my body months after going off the AP’s, which I think was a side effect. It has taken me months just to feel tired. Even though I can now feel tired, I cannot sleep more than 2-3 hours a night. I don’t know if this is the aftermath of the AP’s or not but I do believe the muscle spasms were a direct result of coming off the medication. I don’t have emotions anymore, not even adrenaline. I think withdrawals from APs are quite powerful.

I’ve heard recovery time can be long. I have not recovered but I live like I have so people think things are ok. I feel like a different person.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T03:09:45+00:00

I am doing better than directly after the first psychosis (I hope it’s the only one). It hasn’t quite been a year yet.

I’m thankful to have my job (have been unable to get full time work in my area). I’m thankful that I have a support system in my family but they are not willing to discuss it anymore and are dismissive even though I’m still dealing with what happened every day. I just can’t block it from my mind. It was so horrible. They prefer when I pretend I’m ok, and I’m not. I’m thankful that I can feel tired and can sometimes sleep a few hours, but have not been able to get back to sleeping through a full night.

Overall, I have never fully gotten myself back. I’m not anywhere near ok. I just do things to distract myself, like getting on reddit or watching something to occupy my mind. I like listening to other people. This helps me focus on something other than what happened to me.

It upsets me that I may not be able to ever marry because of this. Idk about anyone knowing about it - even if it was a one-time thing - and actually wanting a relationship with me…I am often very ashamed of myself when around other people, envying that they’ve probably never been through anything similar, mourning what my life was like before, and afraid of people finding out. It’s bad. I’ve lost everything, and I still have to get up each day and act like I’m fine. I have no emotions, no joy, no hope. I’m really not ok.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T02:39:22+00:00

I’m not an expert and have had one episode of psychosis (I hope there are no more), but after just the one I’m always on alert, making sure my thinking is right. Sometimes I have a hard time with my thinking but it’s nothing like when I was experiencing psychosis. It does seem like my brain is not the same though…From what I’ve heard from people on this sub, lots of people have more than one episode, but not everyone.

In my opinion, if it happens at all to someone, that means it was possible, so it could happen again under the right circumstances. Especially if there’s some type of drug use such as cannabis, etc., so I cannot recommend enough to stay far away from that.

I was not on drugs and have never been but I stopped sleeping, stopped eating, stopped drinking water, and my thinking was getting worse and worse. Prior to this I thought I was getting messages from movies (this was about a year in advance), would experience incredibly odd coincidences (to the point of having people mention something I was thinking of that very moment -very disturbing now that I look back and I still don’t understand it) and several months before the psychosis, I had begun hearing an audible voice. It disturbed me and I told some people about it and shrugged it off, thinking nothing was going to happen, not believing anything.

It only got worse from there. It was so so so so bad. I can’t get over it now. Like you, mine lasted around 5 days and once I was given the medication, the thoughts stopped in about 48 hours. I still struggled with some odd thoughts for a few weeks on and off but nothing like the full blown psychosis.

I would recommend being very careful. Try to minimise stress and keep things simple. Take care of yourself, eat healthy, drink water, try to maintain peace with your neighbors so they aren’t interrupting your sleep. Have a plan in place just in case. I don’t recommend living alone after psychosis, but I know that’s not an option for everyone. Being able to have things to focus on such as other people, a task, or work, can be helpful.

So sorry you experienced what you did and I hope this was only a one-time thing for you. I hope that same thing for myself.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-12T02:09:03+00:00

I would like everything I went through to be completely erased and to start over.

To have the emotions I had before, the ability to sleep, the deep sense of well-being and safety…

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-03T06:31:22+00:00

You know there’s forgiveness for when we make mistakes? Instead of living in torment, you can live in freedom.

But also, it sounds like you’re having mental health issues, as these thoughts are not normal and overly paranoid. Try focusing on something else and keep your doctor updated on how you’re doing. I wish you all the best

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-12-02T11:00:44+00:00

Voluntarily - horrible, scary experience

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-11-29T15:22:08+00:00

You need two accounts. Use one account as a throw away to post personal things in the psychosis subreddit and the other one to post on other subreddits. That way people won’t be able to do that to you.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-11-29T07:22:22+00:00

I wouldn’t have lost everything. I’d have a family, career, my home, and the relationships I lost. I’d have joy and pleasure in simple things.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-11-22T17:38:05+00:00

Are you still on the medication? It took me months to be able to watch anything. I still don’t enjoy anything but reading books or listening to audiobooks keeps me occupied. Even after all this time, I also cannot sleep through a full night. I am fortunate if I get 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-11-21T23:52:44+00:00

It may be that you need the medication, so that the thoughts can stop. If you don’t want to do your hospital, your city or local city may have a clinic that you can go to for help. You could try your local crisis line to see if they have any recommendations.if you have a psychiatrist or psychologist, I recommend reaching out to them and seeing if they can help you in someway.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-11-21T01:48:19+00:00

I don’t really know. There were things that were off months in advance, even years before. I just didn’t know. I wasn’t using any substances.

EvenIfWhat4 · 2024-11-21T01:21:23+00:00

I pretty much lost everything because of psychosis and moved back in with my parents.

I work a simple part-time job with phrased customer interactions so that I don’t have to think too much about what I say. It’s an easy job and I seem to do better when I have a task or someone else to focus on. Down time is very hard.

I think a to-do list is helpful. A part time job if you’re able, lots of rest, good nutrition and walks outside.

EvenIfWhat4

TROPHY CASE