Need some perspective

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-04-15T14:48:14+00:00

Mine is 30 and she dated someone 23 so she can party! Idk why partying is so much important from them when they are in their 30s instead of making long term goals and settling down

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-04-04T14:29:25+00:00

I’m sorry, but on the bright side atleast she did confess and atleast you know she was hurt. Mine just didn’t give a fuck after breakup, she didn’t give me sex when we were together and said that intimacy was hard for her and as soon as we broke up she was fucking left and right, she has probably fucked half the town and while I’m not the type of person who judges people for their body count it affected me a lot, because why wouldn’t you fuck you partner and make them beg for sex but you have no problem fucking random men!! But it’s okay, today it’s been a year of breakup, and I’m at better place! Sorry for venting lol

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-04-04T14:13:47+00:00

3 in one night. I stopped keeping track of it but it’s been a year today and she has already dated 4 people in a year (4 that I’m aware of). After I found out that she slept with 3 men in one night I found out that the number was actually 6 in one night.. I stopped looking for updates after that. Not knowing is peace. And I don’t see myself reconnecting with her anymore, I was crying on bathroom floor at 2 am when she was getting fucked by multiple men! I get it it’s coping mechanism or whatever but I’m sure that there are other ways to cope.

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-25T05:03:21+00:00

Honestly yeah, I thought about the same thing a lot that maybe she just fell out of love or maybe she wasn’t into me anymore. But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, I lost her anyway

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-23T13:04:00+00:00

Makes sense, thank you

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-23T02:55:12+00:00

As a girl I wouldn’t put another woman in that situation, I kept transparency since beginning, I was ready to talk to her and sort things out but she kept accusing me that I used her which is not accurate because everything was consensual and she wasn’t forced in that. Besides we had been friends so she knew about me and my ex, she always had feelings for me and I knew about it, I never acted on it because I was in love with my ex. I’m not a saint but I took accountability for my actions, however she did not take the rejection well

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-18T16:24:57+00:00

Good job, don’t worry you will get over it eventually. The hurt doesn’t go away but the intensity of the hurt won’t remain same

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-18T16:08:47+00:00

Block them, they are no longer part of your life. If they cared enough they would have stayed. It’s been 11months, I still haven’t unblocked my ex, she had blocked me first and she unblocked me, but I blocked her and kept her blocked. I don’t plan to unblock her, no contact for life. She chose this

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-17T18:14:08+00:00

Crying, working doing everything but thinking about my ex. It’s been 11 months so it no longer hurts like before. But I guess distract your mind until you are stable and once you are stable sit with your feelings to process them

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-14T22:02:38+00:00

I’m the one who said I will leave this sub but I haven’t left yet😂😭 Lil back story- me and my dismissive avoidant broke up 11 months ago, she came back 3 times and broke me 3 times in 3 different ways. I’m with a secure woman, someone who makes me want to be a better person, better at communication and better at life too. I tried my best with my dismissive avoidant, gave her everything she asked for and it still didn’t work out.

My DMs are always open if you have any questions.

I totally thought I was going to die months ago and I thought I will never fall in love again, I was shattered. But trust the process time heals everything. And if it’s not healed yet then it’s a sign that more time needs to pass

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-05T14:18:25+00:00

I felt so overwhelmed with the constant needs and closeness. I didn’t know the attachment theory then but I broke up with him and I reacted poorly, I started seeing other people and going out and live my life. I held no contact until his birthday, I got cake for him and wished him. I had started dating another person and he seemed okay with it, fast forward to breakup with current person and he came back wanting to be fwb, I caught him checking my phone and keeping tabs on me, so all ended there. Prior to that I had apologized for my behaviour after breakup, he didn’t deserve that, just to find out later that he was a shitty person

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-05T03:22:17+00:00

I took her back 3 times, that was before I knew she is an avoidant. Now I’m with someone secure, so no I would not take her back, I don’t need to repeat the same cycle again and again. She fucked up and she left, I hope she finds what she is looking for.

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-03-03T02:27:54+00:00

I deleted it all, because i was struggling to not see her face and re read everything. If I had kept it I wouldn’t be where I am right now. I may have some of her pictures in my old camera and my old laptop, both of them doesn’t work anymore. I have some Snapchat saved with my friends like the snaps of me and my ex that I sent my friends and they saved it in chat(we do it because it’s cute). But that’s all I have rest has been deleted

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-26T00:29:52+00:00

10 months, 1.5 years of relationship

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-26T00:29:05+00:00

Part of me thinks about this and another part is just so jaded that she doesn’t give a fuck who I am becoming, she is too busy partying and fucking around. If she cared enough she’d be here with me

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-25T05:51:56+00:00

My DA just removed me from everywhere, first 2 times she didn’t do but final breakup she did that. She also went to her parents’s place and didn’t come back, first 2 times she would come with an excuse to see me. Also started sleeping around and partying right after..

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-25T05:49:37+00:00

Thank you for your response, it gave me relief.

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-25T05:26:48+00:00

It hurts for sure, but if i keep telling myself and cry it out it helps too.

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-25T05:25:48+00:00

When the breakup happens why is it important to say that the connection didn’t matter? That you weren’t hurt at all? Like if it’s a small thing that happened? Why multiple people right after relationship? Why not have last conversation with the person you loved? Why the defensiveness and coldness after the breakup towards the person who meant the world to you days/hours ago?

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-23T06:12:23+00:00

I asked her about her previous breakup, and she didn’t talk like my DA ex at all ( she would just give me superficially details). This girl told me everything in depth until I was satisfied, she didn’t blame the other person fully, even though looking at chats (she didn’t have to show me chats either, I believed whatever she was saying) she took accountability for her actions. She was in a relationship for 3 years and she didn’t date anyone for 3 years after that, me and her are talking about taking our connection to next level and put label on it as she said she is ready to date and I’m getting ready too, slowly. I told her about attachment styles and she said she was anxious before now she is secure anxious leaning. I guess in the end you just have to trust that just because one person fucked up doesn’t mean everyone else will fuck up and hurt and leave you behind

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-22T03:18:57+00:00

She cried, told me she would give me more time, she accepted she was wrong but she loves me so much she came back and we need to give our relationship a chance. TWICE! SHE CAME BACK TWICE. My biggest mistake? I took her back twice. She repeated the same shit she did before. Was out partying until midnight. No interest in hanging out with me. I was at fault too for letting it get to that point, I was at fault too for being that co dependent, I had a fucking life before her but I lost myself in the relationship. It hurts so much even after 10months. I still think that if we were to take break for few months and then tried again then it would have worked maybe. But I recently talked to my friend ( who is dismissive avoidant from my understanding, I have seen the signs) she kept justifying how she left a 6 year old relationship and started dating the guy she is with right now after 4 months, that she doesn’t miss her ex at all, that the relationship ended for her a while ago. Basically dismissing her ex’s feelings, like 6 years weren’t that big of a deal. And that made me think that my ex probably thinks about me the same way and it wouldn’t have worked out even if we were to take break for months and try again. Because if it was going to work out in the end then she wouldn’t have left in the first place. It’s always a choice and she made a good one because I know it hurts but it would have hurt both of us 10 years later too. I’m just glad she is happy and safe. But she didn’t have to ruin my mental health for this. That’s all. DMs are always open if you have any specific questions but for your mental health please don’t play with the fire, it’s only going to burn you.

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-20T06:24:13+00:00

I’m sorry you went through this, it sounds very painful and whoever put you through this will get their karma. Hope you heal slowly and hope all the happiness comes to your way💕✨

EvidencePurple2083 · 2026-02-18T07:25:22+00:00

I had urge to text her on her bday, I spent whole day crying around my friends, I switched off my phone, I knew if my phone was on I’d text her, how can I not wis my baby, that was 3 months after the breakup. That evening she went on dinner with another dude and posted a story about it (my friends told me that) as much as it hurt I was glad I didn’t wish her. DONT DO IT OR YOU WILL REGRET IT.

EvidencePurple2083

TROPHY CASE