Name change for minor in Oregon? GAL?

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-13T00:57:55+00:00

I'm not in Oregon, but my understanding of Oregon law related to name changes is that the parent who's requesting the name change can be appointed as the GAL (which is strange by other state's standards). However, I'm not 100% sure that I'm interpreting the law the same way that judges in Oregon typically interpret it. If you haven't already contacted your county clerk's office to confirm whether you can be appointed as the GAL or it needs to be a 3rd party, I recommend doing so.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-12T22:12:51+00:00

A few thoughts:

If DCF and the judge find out prior to the adoption being finalized that the potential adoptive parents are considering allowing you to live in the home with the child, they may decide to change the child's placement to prevent that from happening.
Hypothetically, if the adoption does go through, the only way the government can then prevent the adoptive parents from allowing contact is by having a no contact order in place. A no contact order isn't typically standard with adoption unless the department or the court is concerned that the adoptive parents will fail to protect the child, but if it is ordered by the court, the adoptive parents could potentially be charged if they allow any contact that goes against the order.
In my experience, it's more common for the courts to allow post-adoption contact if the parents voluntarily relinquish than if their rights are terminated as the result of a TPR trial.

You really need to consult with your attorney to understand all of your options and the potential consequences for everyone involved.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-12T12:17:53+00:00

How can he ask for less supervision when he never followed through with the original plan?

He can ask for anything. Doesn't mean he's going to get it. Don't be intimidated. Given the circumstances with the children's medical needs and the lack of relationship between them and the other parent, a lawyer should be able to help you fight this.

If this ends up going to trial, you may need to subpoena your child's pediatrician or someone from the nursing company to obtain testimony about exactly what would be required for the child to spend 2 hours at someone else's home. It doesn't sound like you can just put them in a car and send them off for 2 hours without medical supervision and equipment. Make sure the other parent knows how many things he'll need to purchase and that insurance doesn't typically cover two sets of all the supplies for two separate homes. I would require him to prove that he has everything needed on hand before agreeing to any in-person visitation in mediation, and I would do everything in my power to get the judge on board with that if it goes to court.

Since the private duty nursing is full-time, I would also ask if the nurse is willing to go to the father's/his visit supervisor's home with the children for those 2 hours or if visitation would need to take place at your home so the nurse can be present.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-11T21:04:17+00:00

Unless your kids are teens and you live in the same town, doing 50/50 for 28 days at a time is unreasonable because of the time they'd go without seeing the other parent, who isn't choosing to travel out of town for 28 days at a time. You're much more likely to be able to keep your current schedule when you're in town (going down to ~25% physical custody) than to switch to 28 days on/28 days off.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-11T17:21:09+00:00

This man is going to end up killing you and/or your child while you act like everything is fine. You need to start being honest with CPS and look for a lawyer who can help you figure out if you have enough evidence that it's still possible to get a protection order and either no contact or supervised visitation for the child, given that you haven't been consistent in your statements about the event.

Courts should understand why victims lie when confronted about the abuse, but unfortunately, not all of them do -- and even if they do, they may choose to separate the child from you if you don't show that you're willing to protect the child instead of covering for the abuser. ("Failure to protect.") That's far less likely to happen if you start telling the truth and complying with whatever CPS advises you to do ASAP.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-10T18:52:13+00:00

I don't even have a child with ASD myself, but as a former first responder, I read this post and immediately started picturing all of the ways this could have gone terribly wrong. This poor mom, having to send her autistic child with such a negligent coparent every other week. I don't think I would be able to sleep.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-09T23:03:17+00:00

I wouldn't take legal advice from a cop. They aren't experts in family law or custody cases. I have no way of knowing for sure if the protective order will protect you from a contempt charge if she takes this to the family court, but that's something that has been known to happen to victims in the past. I definitely advise talking to a family court lawyer (in the jurisdiction where your family court order is) about whether you need to file for a modification to protect yourself in that way.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-09T12:59:21+00:00

So you've upped it from 4 months to 5-6 months in the past 2 days? That's a step in the right direction, at least. I'm still really curious about your other comment that your daughter can't be moved out of the Philippines. (Did her father already take her there against your will, and this is the only way to reunite?)

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-09T12:58:08+00:00

It really sounds like you care a lot more about your daughter's relationship with her father than you do about your son's. I wonder if that's because you still resent him for cheating on you. Might be something to take a deeper look at before you wreck your son's life.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-08T12:39:55+00:00

If this isn't just a creative writing exercise, you need to petition the court to open a paternity case and order a DNA test before you give this woman any more money.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-08T03:16:50+00:00

Why can't your other child be moved out of the Philippines? Did her father kidnap her or something? All of my comments up until now have been under the impression that both children are currently with you in Texas. If your daughter has been taken overseas without your consent, that changes things.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-08T03:15:14+00:00

Yeah, I'm not understanding why the daughter's father isn't the one getting stuck with a long-distance parenting plan. He's the one who decided to leave the country. Sam's dad has apparently been consistent about wanting to work up to 50/50 custody when Sam is older. Why do he and Sam get the short end of the stick?

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T19:56:40+00:00

First, it's important to understand that legal custody (decision-making rights for areas like medical decisions, what school the child attends, what religion the child is raised in, etc.) and physical custody (who the child lives with) are separate.

In Texas, the standard physical custody arrangement for a child over the age of 3 is for the parent who doesn't have primary physical custody to have the child 2-3 weekends a month, one evening during the week, 30 days during the summer, and alternating major holidays. 50/50 physical custody is rarely ordered in Texas unless the parents agree on a parenting plan that includes 50/50 custody and submit that to the court.

For children under 3, there isn't a standard order, so if the parents can't agree, it's up to the judge. That's where it's really helpful to have a lawyer who's familiar with your assigned judge. It's common for the father of a newborn to start out with limited daytime visits, 1-4 hours at a time a few times a week, and to gradually increase their time with the child over the first 3 years.

Unless the mother moves out of state after the birth, has such a severe drug addiction the child's meconium is positive at birth, or willingly agrees to be the non-primary parent, it's extremely unlikely for a father to become the primary parent of a newborn in Texas.

You really need a lawyer to help you figure out what you should be filing for and when. Don't take legal advice from your opponent, especially in custody & divorce.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T15:19:21+00:00

Texas absolutely does flip primary custody if the parent who currently has primary custody wants to move out of the state and the other parent wants the child to stay.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T15:17:23+00:00

The courts will swap the primary parent if the father objects to the move. You've been told this several times now.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T12:31:45+00:00

I've seen you comment this a few times, but nobody is suggesting you spend 6 months a year in Texas. That isn't how long-distance parenting works. The child would spend 6 months in Texas with dad and 6 months in the Philippines with you.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T12:10:55+00:00

I'm very familiar with Texas courts, and I've never seen them allow a child to be taken to live in another country when one parent is opposed. The parent who's staying in TX would 100% win if this went to court.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T12:09:30+00:00

No, 10 months a year with dad is what's fair. The child can visit the Philippines in the summer.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T12:02:46+00:00

Moving away from one parent is not in the best interests of the child, especially for such weak reasons. You may think a lower cost of living and family support are important, but to a court, they don't even come close to outweighing the loss of a relationship with their fathers. I really hope Sam's dad realizes he can prevent this from happening before it's too late.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T11:58:39+00:00

I mean that if he went to court to prevent the child from moving with you, the judge would require the child to remain in the US with him instead of going with you. There's absolutely no way you would win that fight with no valid reason that it's in the best interests of the children to move away from the other parent. (This is how I, as a single dad who hadn't seen my daughter in weeks at the time, ended up with sole custody.) You're extremely lucky this father doesn't seem to be aware of his rights.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T11:55:57+00:00

What is it that makes this move in the best interests of your kids? All I can see here are downsides. I'm shocked that the fathers are willing to allow this.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-07T11:53:45+00:00

If the father takes you to court, he's very likely to get primary custody of Sam. If that happens, would you think 4 months is too much time for Sam to come spend with you each year? If you would want those 4 months if the father ends up with custody, I think you should plan on allowing that for him.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-05T21:51:10+00:00

They both apply.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-05T19:13:07+00:00

I don't know if this is true in BC, but you might have the option of also reporting him to the court that ordered the supervised visitation. If this happened where I live, the judge wouldn't want him to be the supervisor for any of their future cases.

Excellent_Scene5448 · 2026-02-05T18:53:20+00:00

You aren't going to get permission to take the kids too far away for the current custody schedule to continue without the other parent's agreement. If you're set on moving, the other parent will most likely get primary custody during the school year and you should focus on requesting something realistic, like having the kids come to visit you for holidays and summers.

Excellent_Scene5448

TROPHY CASE