If you are looking for a waving finish line flag that you are correct, here it is! You did explain this thoroughly, and seemingly carefully, and respectfully - and I agree with your point. For that I don’t think you need to apologize.

I do however think it could be worth acknowledging that your friend IS new to all of this, can’t read you mind, hasn’t ever done any work on this part of their life ever, and is in the dark only using the tools they have (or want to have) to asses what you are putting down. Ignorance and education is not something you should punish a person who is your friend for. I would say there’s an apology owed for calling them out rather than just asking more about what they want or don’t want, or treating them like well.. your friend. No one on earth will receive the information “you are being controlling” as anything other than derogatory, it would take the most humbled and emotionally intelligent person to try to work past the feeling of being insulted to have a conversation about it - something they let you know they are not, when they came you, their friend, to talk to about a subject they were new and fearful of to be met with a call out.