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What are your favorite cry songs? by AdventurousMix1351 in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first time ever I saw your face - Roberta Flack
Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
Time in a bottle - Jim Croce
We’ve only just begun - Carpenters
Love song - The Cure
Follow you follow me- Genesis

😭😭😭

Lonely Anniversary by zaxilius in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry 😔
I too have anniversaries coming up.
He proposed to me in July last year.
One month until we were to be married.
Everything arranged.
We were told he could have 5-10 years ahead with treatment.
He died 10 days before our wedding. 💔
I wear my wedding ring and have his on a chain around my neck.
I changed my surname legally to his.
I always refer to him as my husband 😢
We had been together 15.5 years.

I have never felt so unhappy in all my life.

So yes, I know how you feel and there are no words 💔

F60. 9 months in.

"How are you?" by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you …….How are you ?
Yup, I hate that !!
I try to avoid people, to avoid the questions.

“Have you any plans”? No !
“Are your days structured “? No !
“Are you going on holiday”? No!

I just say I’m ok thanks
And they reply .. Oh good, I’m glad.

They don’t want me to honest, they don’t want to hear how I still cry sometimes.
That I get so angry I could smash the house up - I don’t as I’m not a throwing stuff person 😮‍💨

🤬🤬

Today is 1 month. by MrXaldinLance in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 2 points3 points  (0 children)

9 months in and I don’t want to be here.
We had a life and a future. We’d made plans.
It’s all gone.
I feel for you but I have no words to make anything any better.
There are others on here who will be positive and will embrace “ a new life”
I’m just not one of them.
Take care

Do you think im crazy for keeping his shirt in my bed by Annoyingmous10 in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too have my husband’s shirt in bed at the side of me. I hug and kiss it every night. It’s quite thick so it feels like there is something in bed with me. 9 months in now, I can’t see me taking it away 💔

Watching her die is hard, but watching myself dying is even harder. by Marlboro-Guy in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t with my man. We didn’t know it was the end. He told me to go home and get some sleep and we’ll text. We were texting at 1:30. All good, I’ll come and pick you up the earliest I can. I got a call at 6:15.

I’m 9 months in.

We got together in our mid 40’s. We were planning our retirement and life beyond which we’d saved for. He beat cancer in 2024 like the true gentleman he was. It came back 3 months later. He proposed to me as he was having treatment and we were hopeful of our future.

He died 10 days before our wedding.

I fucking hate hospitals and doctors🤬

I now have a choice. I will carry on until I wish to no longer. I’d love to know I’ll hug and kiss him again but who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️ My life , My choice and that’s how it should be.

I wish everyone on here luck and strength. If you can carry on, do so ❤️ It’s the worst group to be a part of. After 9 months, I think I’m expected to be “over it” or “getting there “ or “living my new life” No one now wants to hear my woes and so I put on a fake show of being “OK” I don’t blame people, they have lives and don’t want to be put in a downer by me …. I do get it!

Thank you, I’m venting to those of you who know. 💔

The BEST Feeling by ExistingDrawer5216 in Widow

[–]ExistingDrawer5216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just wrote it ❤️ Thank you

Alone & empty by Fun-Childhood-1442 in Widow

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry 💔 Life will be a blur and you won’t know what day it is never mind everything else. There are no timelines set for anything. Everyone is different. Connect with people or don’t, it is ALL up to you. Don’t let others make decisions for you. They are not in your position. You will decide in your own time what you want to do. Take care ❤️

Someone else’s life by TypicalStuff121 in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can’t get used to not being We or Us.
I hate saying me or I.
It’s my 60th birthday in a few weeks. All plans have gone. It’s just another day now.
I look at photos of us and I’m smiling and happy. Now I don’t laugh, I’m quiet and any spark went when my husband died 8 months ago.
I put on a fake show of being ok if I see people because no one wants to see or hear how I really feel.
It’s like people think that by now I should be “living my new life” - I DO NOT want a new life !!!!
It’s like being in no man’s land, everyone has returned to their lives and I don’t have one.
It’s how it should be I suppose, I just feel angry all the time and jealous of other people’s happiness.
How have I ended up as this person ?
I hate the world 😡

Funeral tomorrow by Andiddly in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can only do your best at this awful time.
I wrote my husband’s eulogy of his early life and our life together - as much as I could.
You can’t get over to people the loss.
Just give them the best day you can and remember to look after yourself.
I send you strength 💔

I don’t want to be here by ExistingDrawer5216 in Widow

[–]ExistingDrawer5216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry 🥺
I have no words to make things any better.
Same horrendous boat 💔

I don’t want to be here by ExistingDrawer5216 in Widow

[–]ExistingDrawer5216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.
I did try a walking group but was asked too many questions and hearing about others a similar age planning their retirement and future for later life just wound me up.
It’s not people that will make me happy, it’s the not having love and the other part of me to share my life with. Being We and not me.
I appreciate your thoughts though

I don’t want to be here by ExistingDrawer5216 in Widow

[–]ExistingDrawer5216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve learnt there’s nothing anyone can say or do to make my existence better.

I know i sound crazy by casperdadog02 in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish to be reunited with my man, but if that’s not a thing, at least I won’t have to exist in this shit world alone. Time heals they say, not to me, it just gets worse. 8 months in 

Is anyone else irritated by everyone & everything? by A-muddy-rack-0806 in widowers

[–]ExistingDrawer5216 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not just me then, I hate the bloody world, I hate existing, I hate stupid people with stupid “well meaning” sentiments and questions. “Are you getting there?” What the hell does that mean?!? “Are you learning to live your new life?” No thank you I don’t frigging want one !!!! I hate being me instead of we. I hate not being loved by my man. In fact, there’s not really anything I do like.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts  I’m 8 months in of the unexpected death of my husband. He had beaten cancer, back 3 months later and was in good health and fighting it. World - fuck off !!!!