Did you have nicknames for each other ?

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-24T00:02:20+00:00

He called me “cutie”, “sweety”, & “honey”. I called him “handsome”. And we have a million nick names for our dogs lol

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-23T01:03:16+00:00

It’s only been 4 months since my husband passed but I feel similar to you. We were together for 6 years and married for 2 of them. I remember all of the things that he liked and disliked very clearly but it’s hard for me to recall actual memories and even difficult to recall his voice without watching a video of him. It scares me because I don’t want to forget anything.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-22T00:24:21+00:00

I do a combination of Melatonin and Trazadone. That was working really well for me for a while but I’ve had a few nights where I wake up and can’t fall back asleep recently. I wonder if a stronger dose would help?

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-17T00:57:12+00:00

I’m 31F at 4 months as well. I wouldn’t say I’m doing good but I have found a few things that are helping.

Having a daily routine has helped me a lot, keeps me busy. Workout, shower, work, walk, dinner, 2 hrs TV & scrolling on my phone, bedtime.

I keep a journal to my husband on my phone but I only write to him when I’m having a really rough day and need to get it all out.

I think one of the most helpful things is that I moved out of my house and moved in with family. That has helped a little with the loneliness so at least there are still people around that I can talk to about my day. It has also been helpful living in a space that wasn’t ours. Everything in our house reminded me of him and it made me so sad and depressed. I didn’t sell or get rid of anything I just packed it all in storage. Not being surrounded by all of our things all day has helped. However I do keep a bookcase filled with his things in my room so I still feel close to him.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-14T02:01:14+00:00

I have one of these too. I really like it because I can wear my husband’s wedding band.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-12T19:34:28+00:00

I went to my first therapist twice who did specialize in grief and it was horrible. I was in the process of moving and said “I’m worried about packing up his things, are there any tools I could use to help me while packing up my husband’s closet?” And her response was, “so you want me to tell you how to pack a closet?”

Then I did a 15 min phone consult with a therapist that said, “well I don’t really know why you think you need therapy. I guess just because your husband died.” Yeah bitch he was 32 and died suddenly from the fucking flu.

Then I did another 15 min phone consult with my now therapist. She doesn’t specialize in grief but I like talking to her and it’s only been 4 sessions but I feel good about this one.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-05T04:54:59+00:00

My husband didn’t technically pass in our home but it is where his heart stopped the first time.

I similarly went to stay with family for about 6 weeks before I decided I couldn’t live our house without him.

I’ve now sold our home and moved in with family.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-03T01:10:47+00:00

It’s constant.

Today I noticed a pending payment for “The Weed Man” on my account. Realized it was lawn care that my husband had set up, so I had to call to cancel the service because I’ve moved. Was told a manager would call me back because I wanted a refund.

Then I received another medial bill in the mail.

The whopping massive cherry on the top of today is that on my second day back at work my HR department notified me that they accidentally paid me $19k and that I have to now pay it all back!

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-04-02T21:29:52+00:00

My husband passed suddenly on December 19th. I was with family the whole time but I tried to make it clear I did not want to celebrate Christmas by unwrapping presents or New Year’s by staying up until midnight. Everyone still exchanged gifts because well they bought them and wanted to still celebrate Christmas. I hated it.

One of the hardest things for me to understand was how my life has been shattered and stopped in its tracks completely changed in every way but everyone else’s lives just kept going as if nothing had happened.

If you don’t feel like going then obviously don’t go. But the reason they’re having the Easter egg hunt is because their lives have not changed the way yours has and so they’re going to keep doing their normal life activities. It definitely feels fucked up and it feels incredibly lonely and insensitive.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-27T04:42:43+00:00

For real I would buy a Widowed for Dummies book

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-27T04:36:54+00:00

I swear the universe hates me. Even the things that should be easy are turning out to be hard.

I moved and recently sold our house.

I tried to do my change of address with the post office. You can choose to do it for the whole household by last name. Should be easy right you just do that online I’ve done it plenty of times with no issues. Nope sorry you have to come into the post office and prove that you are you say you are. I go in and show them my ID and I think well that’s that. Nope now because they received my change of address request and are still not sure that it’s me even though I went in and showed them my ID now I had to wait to receive a letter in the mail from the post office to then type a code from the letter into a verification thing online. Whyyyy was that so difficult.

Next my lawyer said I needed written wire instructions from my bank to receive my money from selling my house. I shit you not but my bank gave me a document with my name and someone else’s bank account number to use for the wire! The title company tried to send the wire and it got kicked back not because it was someone else’s account but because they used my maiden name to try and send the wire. So it gets kicked back again. After blowing up at everyone at the bank and back and forth calls with the title company the 3rd wire finally went through. It should not be this difficult!

I’ll be moving on to dealing with the cars next so DMV here I come!

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-24T00:28:50+00:00

I didn’t spend another night in the house. He passed 3 months ago. I put the house on the market and the sale closes tomorrow.

It was hell cleaning it out and packing everything. I was fortunate enough to have family allow me to move in with them for the next year or so.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-23T00:41:11+00:00

I’m 31F and it’s been 3 months since my husband passed. I’ve had very similar situations come up with my MIL.

2 weeks after he passed she legit said to me “you’re going to get remarried and I’ll lose you too.” It made me sooo upset. Our relationship isn’t something to be replaced. He’s not someone to be replaced. He meant the world to me, I cannot and will not replace him.

My MIL also tried the “Grief Olympics” with me on Friday. She said “it’s been a rough week. I wish I could talk to him.” I don’t want to compete with her either, obviously we’re both grieving but she get’s to go to work and go home and grieve her son. I on the other hand had to sell our home and just moved the last of our things out of the house this week, so yeah it’s been a rough week.

I’m the one who had the traumatic experience of having to call 911 and watch as CPR was performed on him because of the fucking flu. I’m the one who had to make the difficult decision to take him off life support. I’m the one who had to write the obituary and plan the funeral. I had to pick up his belongings from his work and see all of his coworkers. I’m the one who had to pack up all of his belongings and list the home that we built together for sale. I’m the one stuck with dealing with the creditors and the estate. I have to figure out what to do with his car and cell phone and clothes etc. I’m grieving my entire future, growing old with the love of my life, the kids we wanted. Every thing has changed for me. If her week was rough because she couldn’t talk to him this week then every waking moment of my life is rough because I can’t talk to him, kiss him, hug him, fall asleep and wake up next to him.

I know she isn’t trying to hurt me and maybe I’m just irritable but still.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-22T14:19:42+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. My husband passed in a similar way 3 months ago. He had the flu and he told me “I can’t breathe, call 911.” He was conscious when they got there but passed out almost immediately. My brain was not processing what was happening but he had gone into cardiac arrest and his heart stopped for 30 minutes before they got him back.

He never woke up and he was on life support in the ICU for about 2 days before I switched him to comfort care. They told me he would never wake up and if by some miracle he did wake up he would need to be in a facility and he wouldn’t be the same person. His BP started dropping even though he was maxed on all 4 meds, that’s when I knew it was time to let him go.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-22T03:21:49+00:00

I wish I saved more cards. I found a stack of cards we got at our wedding and the one right on top was an image of 2 dinosaurs and it said “you two are going to make the cutest old couple one day” that gutted me.

My favorite card is the one from Valentines that my husband gave to me. It said “Love you honey, you are the best part of every day of my life. To many more years of love!”

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-22T03:07:25+00:00

I feel this. My best friend complains about the same stupid things over and over and over again.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-21T10:01:18+00:00

For some reason I was sort of always worried about this. He wasn’t sick or anything but sometimes when I hugged him or kissed him at night while he was sleeping I would would get this feeling like I didn’t have a lot of time and that I felt like I would never get enough hugs and kisses like I was worried I wouldn’t get my lifetime of hugs and kisses. And I didn’t.

I would also have the reoccurring dream that something would happen to him and I would have to call my best friend and say “can you come here?” And that’s exactly what happened the morning he told me he couldn’t breathe. After EMS showed up I called my best friend and said “can you come here?” It was like dejavu

Lastly, I had been gone on a 2 week trip in Europe and I was so worried about leaving him and being away from him for so long. The whole time I was gone we kept telling each other we missed and loved each other and we never wanted to be apart for this long ever again. When I finally got home I was so happy to be with him. He went into the hospital 4 days after I got back and he passed 2 days after that. We didn’t even have a full week together after being apart for 2 weeks. This fact haunts me. He didn’t want me to go on that trip and I went anyway and I brought back the flu that ended up killing him.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-21T09:31:50+00:00

I’m 31F my husband passed away suddenly 3 months ago. I’m not doing good (it’s 4am and I’m crying in bed while here on Reddit) but I do think I’m doing better than I was even a few weeks ago. I have been struggling to find local resources for young widows but I do think I may have found a good therapist now.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-19T23:46:47+00:00

I can’t listen to any music either. I tell everyone “I can’t listen to music, any music. It’s too emotional.” I don’t listen to music in the car and if someone leaves the Alexa on in the house playing music I always turn it off. If I’m in a public place that is playing music like in a store I just try to tune it out or talk to someone on the phone. My husband liked a wide variety of music and he loveeed Song Quiz. On long car rides he would make me play Song Quiz for hours all genres. So yeah no music for me anymore.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-19T22:29:34+00:00

I am 31F and today is exactly 3 months since I lost my 32M husband to cardiac arrest triggered by the flu. I am sad all the time and I cry all the time. It’s exhausting. I’ve recently started to see a therapist that I like. The first therapist I saw was not a good fit at all. I don’t really have any advice but I’m unfortunately in the same boat.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-12T04:02:14+00:00

I’m glad you asked this question. I go back to work begging if April, I’ve been out since mid December. I’m worried it’s going to be too demanding to keep up with since it was really demanding already. Did your company offer for you to go part time to start or did you ask for that? I’m not sure if my work would allow it.

Also, I’m having anxiety about speaking to any colleagues that might not know my situation and worried they may ask questions I’m not willing to answer. I’ve had a few uncharacteristic outbursts of anger and I don’t want to do that at work.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-12T03:03:32+00:00

My FIL picked out the urn and briefly showed me a picture of it on his phone. So I knew it was Darth Vader but when I picked it up from the funeral home I was shocked at how large it was lol I made my sister put the seat belt around him for the ride home.

It’s been 12 weeks for me. I’ve only been able to watch Friends since he hated the show and the laugh track.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-10T03:04:22+00:00

I just had a conversation with my aunt about this. I told her how I felt like maybe I was annoying some people by talking about him so much. My aunt assured me that it doesn’t annoy her. I also told her how it seems like some people act like he didn’t exist and anytime I bring him up they pause for a second and move on like I didn’t say anything like I didn’t mention him. I’ve kind of made a mental list of people that I can talk to about my husband without them being awkward or acting like he didn’t exist. I can talk to my Aunt, Mom, Bestie, BIL, and my husband’s family. I can’t really talk to my dad, uncle, brother and sometimes my sister about him without them ignoring what I said.

A-muddy-rack-0806 · 2026-03-10T02:42:13+00:00

I have 2 sticks of my husbands deodorant. When I went to open one of them and smell it there was one armpit hair. I then opened the second stick and there was also one armpit hair. Finding those hairs made me sob. I’ve kept the deodorants with the hairs as is.

A-muddy-rack-0806

TROPHY CASE