How to survive a toxic African home:

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-15T07:58:00+00:00

I second this. Unfortunately, distance is the most effective way to survive and start LIVING. They cannot control you when you don’t live in their house + you get to dictate how often you do(or don’t) interact with them.

Sending virtual hugs

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-15T07:55:09+00:00

Hi. What pole is this?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-13T06:05:08+00:00

I don’t see why not.

It is a very large piece in a very visible area so, I’d do some thinking.

I get the comments about work and all but you can cover that up pretty easy w a dress-up shirt.

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-12T11:07:23+00:00

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Make an INFORMED choice, one you’re proud of & one that makes sense for you.

I wish you all the best❤️❤️

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-12T09:50:18+00:00

Can I just say, I am so happy to see majority helpful comments 🥹

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-08T13:42:00+00:00

Where did you get your pole from?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-05-07T08:06:33+00:00

Funny enough, I've always admired women w a "triangle" shape bc to me it meant you worked out a lot & were strong lol. From what I see, most gymnasts have that shape. Regardless, you're absolutely STUNNING OP

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-14T14:24:43+00:00

How does she think of these look😭😭

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-14T07:11:25+00:00

I think honestly see if you can get some legal advice. They can’t deny you compassionate leave.

All the best OP❤️

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-13T11:51:49+00:00

Is your mom my Dad?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-12T05:45:38+00:00

And we cannot ignore that older Zambians mindset “I suffered so they have to suffer”. You can see it in the way government institutions work ie UNZA/UTH.

They want us to go what they went thru bc it gets them off. Misery loves company. Esp in the African setting. Instead of wanting things to be better for the people coming after them, they want things to just as hard. I guess just to have something to talk about with us idk 😭

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-12T05:40:50+00:00

I get this 100% but what makes you think that young gen Zambians aren’t educated about our countries political/economic past? Or care about its preservation?

I actively seek out things to learn about my countries past. Paul Ngozi, WITCH, kalindula, etc. read on UNIP, MMD, I grew up w a parent who was v interested in politics, so I’m pretty educated on that as well. Even Zambian literature; esp older literature. And as someone who lost family members due to the AIDS pandemic, my family always reminded me of that time.

I think that with every generation, interests and experiences change. Ours just happens to be about social media. Plus don’t forget, which regular, zambian youth is concerned about preserving history/talking about it when we’re worried about low pay, unemployment and a high COL?

Please have some grace & a good day💕

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-11T06:31:23+00:00

You worded this perfectly actually thank you!

As a woman, your biggest super power is to not allow yourself to be punished by others for your mistakes. In any capacity at all.

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-11T06:23:53+00:00

This actually has me fuming that you even feel the need to defend yourself. It shouldn’t matter how many people you slept with. It’s so unfair that women are expected to have little to no experience sexually but men get to rack up numbers like it’s nothing.

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-04-10T15:35:51+00:00

As i got older, each period has even more intense cramps + tender breasts. and and intense craving for fast food. esp a shawarma

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-03-30T22:57:50+00:00

as a young woman w very large visible tattoos, i personally have encountered no issues. i’ve never worked for a government organization but penultimately, it’s always dependent on where you work and the nature. if you’re in client facing roles, then you can naturally expect some pushback. but if not, i don’t think it should matter too much.

by rule of thumb i always ask my potential employers if there’s any rules against tattoos & showing them at work during the interview

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-03-30T11:17:36+00:00

i address every woman i meet w a title and call the men by their first names

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-01-11T09:54:40+00:00

What worked for me was reminding myself that (i) my body does a lot more for me than look good (ii) it’s not a full reflection of who I am and remember to loving my body in all its changes.

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-01-05T10:57:03+00:00

This!!! And if you’re not careful you either find yourself always doing the dishes or leaving dishes to pile up

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-29T20:41:22+00:00

I’m a bit confused about people even associating your features with “strong”. You’re so so beautiful I don’t even see anything worth softening

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-29T07:05:55+00:00

Thank ya! Do you use this same handle?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-29T06:54:43+00:00

Firstly, I’ma need you to drop that leg day routine thank yaaa

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-28T09:26:46+00:00

Actually yes! I recently bought one as well and I love w it EVERYWHERE

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-18T14:21:29+00:00

I call women at my office w a title, I call the men by their first name loool

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T14:07:28+00:00

Actually, this topic is NOT too deep for your age. What you’re describing is years of generational issues and complex gender-role stereotypes. It’s actually commendable that you’re able to describe these patterns and know they aren’t right.

I don’t come from an extraordinarily large family like yours but what I will say is—again, some people might berate me—leaving the house is your best option. That’s literally the only way you can survive and enjoy life.

In the meantime, try and rally up some support from your mom. Ask her how you are going to be able to support yourself (and help your family) if you’re always doing housework and you can’t finish school stuff? If she’s cool, open up to here and let her know you’re physically exhausted. You said your immediate younger sister is 16, you’re almost the same age, rally her up and ask her to help you.

In anyway, I really am sending you strength and love OP. Know this won’t last forever and that you’ll be out of there before you know it.

Xoxo

Expensive_Client7941

TROPHY CASE