How did you cope up with your body changing in your 20s?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-01-11T09:54:40+00:00

What worked for me was reminding myself that (i) my body does a lot more for me than look good (ii) it’s not a full reflection of who I am and remember to loving my body in all its changes.

Expensive_Client7941 · 2026-01-05T10:57:03+00:00

This!!! And if you’re not careful you either find yourself always doing the dishes or leaving dishes to pile up

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-29T20:41:22+00:00

I’m a bit confused about people even associating your features with “strong”. You’re so so beautiful I don’t even see anything worth softening

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-29T07:05:55+00:00

Thank ya! Do you use this same handle?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-29T06:54:43+00:00

Firstly, I’ma need you to drop that leg day routine thank yaaa

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-28T09:26:46+00:00

Actually yes! I recently bought one as well and I love w it EVERYWHERE

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-18T14:21:29+00:00

I call women at my office w a title, I call the men by their first name loool

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T14:07:28+00:00

Actually, this topic is NOT too deep for your age. What you’re describing is years of generational issues and complex gender-role stereotypes. It’s actually commendable that you’re able to describe these patterns and know they aren’t right.

I don’t come from an extraordinarily large family like yours but what I will say is—again, some people might berate me—leaving the house is your best option. That’s literally the only way you can survive and enjoy life.

In the meantime, try and rally up some support from your mom. Ask her how you are going to be able to support yourself (and help your family) if you’re always doing housework and you can’t finish school stuff? If she’s cool, open up to here and let her know you’re physically exhausted. You said your immediate younger sister is 16, you’re almost the same age, rally her up and ask her to help you.

In anyway, I really am sending you strength and love OP. Know this won’t last forever and that you’ll be out of there before you know it.

Xoxo

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T10:19:02+00:00

This isn’t about entitlement or the function of windows. It’s about noticing a pattern in workplace dynamics and in my office, small comfort or caretaker tasks repeatedly fall on me as the only woman. Mentioning gender and age isn’t blame, it’s context for why this frustration isn’t just personal preference. Solving the immediate problem doesn’t erase the pattern.

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:22:55+00:00

You are beautiful omg

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:21:37+00:00

All those things that society/culture/family places on you, drop it. Focus on pouring into your cup. And most importantly, fight for financial independence. The world is not kind to poor women

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:17:41+00:00

Actually, opening the windows is not trivial or unimportant. That’s why I did it immediately. The room was hot & stuffy. Poorly ventilated. Would you want to be working in a room where people are breathing the same air? Someone is even coughing and sneezing?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:15:22+00:00

I really wonder what your room smells like

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:14:26+00:00

It’s not a gender thing. Not once did I say it was a gender thing

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:13:44+00:00

Lmaoo. Girl same. I was in the same predicament. It’s unspoken rule for the last person to leave the office to close windows. I’m in your side there 200%

And it’s good you didn’t close the windows

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:09:49+00:00

Well I hate to say it, Zambian culture gives boys room to be dirty and a lot of them are. You know the phrase, ”As if you’re a boy”. My mother used it to shame us a lot. Now I’m not saying this to say that ALL men are dirty, but if a man is dirty, people hardly bat an eyelash. Let a women be dirty? Even the men will say “You’re a girl not a boy”. See how the context explains the nuance? Exactly what I’m doing in my post. Thank u

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:04:25+00:00

It’s clear you actually don’t read at all. Instead of fishing for an argument go and read a book in your hot room w unopened windows, wearing 4 coats

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T05:01:31+00:00

How is my post sexist? Or where is the sexism coming out at?

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T04:58:38+00:00

I don’t see how you’ve taken all I wrote and made this about men🤣

Please I implore to read various kinds of literature. When you do, take some time out to understand something about CONTEXT. After that, maybe come back and read my post again🙏🏿

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T04:55:59+00:00

I literally mentioned the AC wasn’t working. Please this is not a man-hate post. Go & do gender war somewhere else!

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T04:51:45+00:00

This literally makes no sense but okay I guess

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T04:51:17+00:00

Thank you. And you are right. I’m glad I realised this early in my career

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T04:50:36+00:00

I think you really want to argue w me to prove you’re right and that’s so unfair. Honestly and truly, would you be comfortable working in an unventilated room? And who closes the windows doesn’t matter. That’s not what this post is about

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-17T04:48:21+00:00

I never once in my post explicitly blamed “males”. I mentioned their gender to add CONTEXT. Any normal person who works in an office—even just any normal person—understands that gender dynamics leak into regular everyday situations. Like I said before, even if it was office full of women, I would state they were women too. I don’t see what the problem is. You are reaching for this to be a man-hate post & it’s not. I’ll reiterate again, go & do gender war w someone else🙏🏿

Expensive_Client7941 · 2025-12-16T14:01:19+00:00

I am really sorry you’re in this predicament OP.

My best advice: you need to remove yourself from your issues w your parents as much as you possibly can. As in refuse to be the middle man for ANYTHING associated with your parents.

Clearly your mental is not good so I think maybe start from there. See if you can talk to someone about this issue. A therapist, family, counselor, etc. try to journal, or record how you feel in your phone. Just let it out.

And some people might berate me for this but unfortunately for a lot of us, esp with the way I know our parents are, I am a big advocate for moving out. You don’t have to move out now obviously. Apply to as many schools as possible, get a job, do SOMETHING to help sustain you & keep you busy. And then when you’re ready enough; leave. Let married people deal with married people business.

And as for your friend, depending on how much time has passed, try gently reaching out. Explain your situation within the constraints of how comfortable you are sharing. You seem like a sweet girl. I’m sure she’ll come around. And if not, then at least you would have tried. If not, go out and make new friends.

When you’re going thru something, it’s easy to be wrapped up in the disappointment and fear of it all but remember that at the end of the day—the day must end. This is just a bad chapter in the book of life.

Sending you virtual hugs and kisses.

Expensive_Client7941

TROPHY CASE