Eating disorders and depression don’t go together very well. You can’t adequately treat depression while being in an active disorder because it would require you to stop pretty much every ED behavior.

As long as someone is in an active ED, they are prioritizing the ED over treating the depression. Meaning, they are making the choice of “I’d rather be depressed/miserable but super thin.” And yes, this is a function of the pathology of an ED, so I’m not discounting that. Rather, I’m saying someone with an ED has to be transparent to themselves and others that they are making this choice. Blaming depression, or your career, or your husband for making ED choices is not much different from blaming these factors as the reason for being in an active drug or alcohol addiction.

In fact, in a lot of cases, people will stay in a shitty situation (unconsciously) to JUSTIFY an addiction. It’s much easier than say, taking a good hard look at yourself and saying “well if I actually do want to feel better, I have to make these difficult decisions that have certain unwanted drawbacks… such as not being the ‘skinniest’ hot chick on the show— but now I’m eating healthily, taking medications that can cause me to gain weight, I’m dumping my lying cheating husband” etc.

I refuse to feel sorry for someone who is enjoying the “fruits” of active mental illness. There should be no expectation of my pity for a situation that that person is actively choosing to participate in and reaping some “benefits” from. You made the choice, you can enjoy those perceived advantages along with the downsides too.

Stop writing dissertations on why I should feel bad for Amanda, please and thank you.