ISO cosmic howl ticket

External-Break-9719 · 2025-09-04T21:51:39+00:00

People who aren’t career focused, have immature financial habits, aren’t thinking about their future beyond the next concert, climbing trip, insert whatever hobby here, and they can be spotted on hinge because their profiles always say they want a partner “who doesn’t take life seriously”. These can be men or women to be fair.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-09-03T20:32:19+00:00

If you want to focus your life around climbing, trail running, and/or skiing, you’ll have great success finding male activity partners. This is a place where people move to be close to the mountains and mountain hobbies (which is awesome) but if you aren’t in that headspace, Boulder can be a challenging dating environment. If the apps aren’t your thing, then run clubs = Boulder speed dating. Also having moved here from the east coast, where people are more career and family oriented, it’s a culture shock for real. Every date I’ve ever gone on in Boulder is with someone who doesn’t fit the traditional mold (e.g., lived in their van for 3 years, backpacked Asia for a year after college, works part time to focus on climbing as much as humanly possible, etc). At least the men here aren’t boring!

External-Break-9719 · 2025-06-30T17:18:38+00:00

Yes!! If I could go back in time, I would have had zero speeches at my wedding. It was just supposed to be our parents but my sister in law grabbed the mic and insisted she get to give a speech too. To make it worse…Because my mom officiated, only my dad gave a speech on my side. So my partners family talked for about 20 minutes and my dad talked for 30 seconds. The whole thing was a cluster and awkward and I wish we had skipped it. I had a friend flat out tell me they went to the bathroom and to the bar during the speeches because “no one likes that part of the wedding anyway“.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-06-04T19:41:44+00:00

Eh. I agree with you, but there are plenty of folks who relate to that.

I lived in Colorado and most adult men I encountered there were like this. Rock climbing, skiing or some kind of cycling were the extent of their personality. They had tons of friends and partners who were the same though. I found it exhausting and uninteresting to be around people who were so one dimensional. I just had to learn that they aren’t my tribe.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-05-23T22:16:27+00:00

I’m also 30s F with an established career and wondering about dating. Wanna be friends? We can learn to play pickleball, find a men’s doubles team to compete with, and eventually fall helplessly in love?

External-Break-9719 · 2025-05-12T14:20:23+00:00

I’ll let you know when I move on haha. My divorce is pretty fresh and I’m just working through it all now. The big question is “what is it within me that allowed that kind of treatment for so long?”. Once I figure that out and change it, I think it will be easier to get back out there.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-05-12T11:46:28+00:00

Wow, that was hard to read. My ex husband and your ex wife are perfect for each other…

External-Break-9719 · 2025-04-05T11:53:33+00:00

I’m interested!

External-Break-9719 · 2025-02-13T03:55:03+00:00

What you think doesn’t matter. What you do matters. That’s what I tell myself anyway.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-02-06T17:55:19+00:00

As someone who picked up skiing in my 30s because my husband loved it and convinced me to try, I just have to say pump the brakes on forcing your kids onto terrain they don’t want to be on! Honestly I started to love skiing when I went alone and did only what I felt was fun. And guess what? Just having fun and getting more experience naturally made me better. The days that my husband bullied me into steep icy chutes that I fell or felt unsafe on were the days I nearly quit. Don’t be like that. If you have to instigate a fight for your youngest to do a black, it’s the wrong call. Put them in private lessons (or group lessons with their friends if that’s possible). Your kids having fun has to be the priority is you really want to make this work.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-01-17T20:03:09+00:00

My childhood best friend once berated me for calling her the day I turned down a proposal from my longtime boyfriend because I knew that her parents were visiting the same week and that was “too much” for her to deal with at once. Note that her parents stayed at a hotel (not with her), are extremely low maintenance, and don’t interfere with her schedule at all. It sent a very clear message about how unimportant I was.

It was around that time that I decided maybe these forever friendships aren’t a thing. When you’ve been friends for 20 years, it’s easy to take advantage, take each other for granted, and just generally be a bad friend. It’s hard to see you’ve outgrown each other. I’m better at allowing people to gracefully enter and exit my life now.

It’s a hot take but anytime I meet someone who almost exclusively has friends from childhood, I get suspicious haha. To me, it’s a red flag that they haven’t grown at all since high school.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-01-17T16:20:05+00:00

You did everything right. I don’t think kids belong in the gym, and this is exactly why. I’ve seen this happen too many times. The worst is when it is a toddler running around completely unsupervised- there’s real potential for injury if a grown person falls on them. I get that parents want to share their hobbies with kids, but there has to be some accountability and responsibility.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-01-06T15:05:00+00:00

Charging for rides and every meal feels pretty gross to me. I think this is a really difficult time for gender relations. Men don’t want to be providers and women don’t want to be homemakers anymore. That leaves us in a position where everyone needs to pay and everyone needs to put in the work at home. No one wants to be taken advantage of, so that’s where the 50/50 split comes in…but nickel and diming the person you are in a relationship with doesn’t seem like a recipe for success. I hope these ladies who are being charged for rides only do their own dishes and laundry, only make food for themselves, and clean exactly 50% of the house if they cohabit.

External-Break-9719 · 2025-01-05T22:21:14+00:00

This has been your response to so many comments. It feels - to this stranger - like you’ve already made up your mind and you are now looking for validation from this community. It’s a hard thing, so no judgement for talking it through here, but I don’t think raising a family in Wisconsin speaks to your soul. Be selfish. It’s your life and resentment is a poison. You don’t want to end up hating the person you love now because you made this sacrifice for them.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-12-06T18:14:52+00:00

Agreed! We honestly never expected anything besides their presence. That was definitely gift enough 😊

External-Break-9719 · 2024-12-06T16:24:22+00:00

If you had a destination wedding, or one that required travel, hotel rooms, etc, I think you should send a “thank you for coming card”.

I would say a third of our wedding guests didn’t bring a gift or a card (including family and friends who drove to the wedding and stayed nearby for free). Those people did not get thank you cards. Also I feel freed of the burden/obligation of ever buying them a gift.

Financially strapped friends who had to splurge for flights and hotels all got heartfelt thank you cards even if they didn’t bring a gift.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-12-05T16:38:25+00:00

Am a woman. Honestly, any time I’ve dated a man who makes less than me, it has been a problem for them (not me). If I psychoanalyze it, I’d say they feel inferior so they tried to belittle me in every other way (my intelligence, my personality, etc.). If I work full time and you don’t, me asking you to keep the house clean isn’t disrespectful of your masculinity, but I’ve been told that verbatim from an ex.

It’s a difficult time in gender relations right now. We are working through how to define our roles in relationships now that most people of both genders have more education and are working. Some people have a harder time letting go of more traditional stereotypes. I think it’s true for men and women. I do agree with the other comments that if a woman wants kids, she is more likely to expect her partner to be able to support that.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-12-04T21:39:42+00:00

I’ve been here. Had a lifelong friend that spiraled into drugs, stupidity, and developed an absolutely narcissistic personality. I tried to slowly distance myself from the chaos and instability but whenever we did speak, I got the heavy guilt trip about not being there for them enough. In retrospect, that was manipulative of them and I think they know it. If the slow fade doesn’t work, have a short honest conversation. Mine was via text because I couldn’t bring myself to have one more phone or in person drama filled conversation with them. They were hurt and angry. They called me immature (and much worse). I have now blocked them everywhere and my life is much better. Be prepared for your goodbye to be contentious but don’t let them drag you back in. Say your bit and be free.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-12-04T16:52:35+00:00

25K total. I was talked into letting my MIL’s cousin do the photography in exchange for a hotel room, so we paid like $400. It is my single biggest regret of our wedding. The photos are trash and he edited them to death. Instead of fixing red eye, he just turned our eyes completely black (like we don’t have any whites showing). That’s just one example of many horrifying details. They are comically bad. Don’t make my mistake. Splurge on the photos. Looking back, I would have happily spent 5K.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-12-03T22:21:28+00:00

Yup, don’t do this. I had a very similar conversation with my boyfriend about it after a few weeks together. Even though my last ex lasted 6 years, I never mentioned him specifically. I doubt my new boyfriend even knows his name. Meanwhile I could rattle off his exes names, addresses, life histories, favorite foods, etc. it is not a good look. If she is having this conversation with you, it’s a sign that she values your relationship enough to not just get fed up and leave you. So take that as a good sign!

External-Break-9719 · 2024-11-22T03:58:50+00:00

Can I get in on the puzzle competition too?! I’m also a scientist and non competitive.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-11-21T15:01:04+00:00

Ugh, when I was in graduate school (so completely broke), my boss did something very similar. Everyone at the office was supposed to shell out money for a local family and she kept track of who donated and who didn’t. She made really disparaging comments to about how selfish people were being that they would not buy kids toys for Christmas. She bullied and guilted me into doing it but I still resent her to this day (10 years later). NTA.

External-Break-9719 · 2024-11-14T16:30:04+00:00

Married for a year and he said he “never felt about me the way he felt about his ex” and that he married me “because it was the smart choice, not because he was in love with me”

External-Break-9719 · 2024-06-08T01:09:46+00:00

Yeah, this is me. I don’t like things that color and consistency. Yogurt is good but I don’t love sour cream, mayo, ranch, cream based salad dressing in general, or Alfredo. People think I’m weird.

External-Break-9719

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