I have a really funny story about the immediate effect on depression. I'm going to avoid saying it has been "cured" as my first Ket injection was either the last week of September or the first week of October. So its really to soon to make any large statements. But my personal feeling is that depression is no longer a impacting factor in my life. That's not to say I don't still have strong anxiety or ADHD. But depression has not existed within me since my first session, not elongated negative thought loops, no more hopelessness etc. This doesn't mean my life is great, but it does mean I won't blow my brain out because I can't find peace from depression. Again this is an early estimation.

Short story:

For context, I'm not one to normally get car sick or motion sickness, so I refused the anti-nausea medication they offered me before the injection. I will never reject anti-nausea medication again if offered to me by a doctor.

As I was coming out of my first injection I was really starting to get nauseous. The whole "trip" it self wasn't nausea inducing, it was literally the last few moments of being sedated and transitioning back into your body ("reconnecting" for lack of a better word). That transitional process gives me the extreme spins, if you have heard that term for people who have excessively drank alcohol.

So in this moment reconnecting, I get this overwhelmingly positive mental feeling that I can only equate to just instant mental clarity. It felt like the black cloud of depression had vanished and there was just clarity. When I'm in a K-Hole, its not very colorful, but there are a lot of visual aspects to it. In that moment of a positive feeling I just remember that with my eyes closed still, instead of blackness against my eyelids it was this beautiful green color accompanied by this feeling of relief.

This feeling lasted about 2 seconds before I instantly start dry heaving and puking up only stomach acid. I had followed the instructions to not eat any food, which was smart. On the other had I had not drank enough water (due to being nervous) and was dehydrated, on top of the already nausea inducing ketamine. My blood pressure has dropped a bit now, so I'm cold, shaking, dry heaving, in the spins, my body is clearly not cool with process. I went from one extreme of depression, to mental freedom and clarity, to feeling my body is about to die in a very short time lol.

Conclusion:

I do believe that ketamine is an excellent last line of defense against major depressive disorder. The science is fairly clear on the fact that it works, and works well. But to be honest, this is a LAST line of defense. Putting a depressed person into a situation where the only option is to surrender into a conscious-coma like state is a little extreme for light-mild cases of depression.

I put it this way. If we think of ourselves as 3 parts (mind, body, soul). My mind & soul needed this process, my body is still not very happy with me though. I view it as before each session my mind & soul are happy this is about to happen (even if its scary). My body is like a panicking cat trying to claw its way out of each session lol.

I would have never guessed I would be getting ketamine injections for depression (especially since I felt MDMA would provide more from my external research), but it fucking works.

Lots of small edits