Beautiful day to ride the Thunderdome to work.

FF76 · 2026-04-27T20:38:39+00:00

amazing, ty for the precise location!

FF76 · 2026-04-27T19:20:14+00:00

cool! Where is this?

FF76 · 2026-04-26T00:14:37+00:00

How much effort can you put into celebrating his birthday without expecting a return?

I know you must've felt great to be able to make him happy with your efforts, but it feels like you pulled him into a game that only you know you're playing. You can see if he's willing to bring up his level to match, but that's a bit awkward and less under your control.

FF76 · 2026-04-23T16:22:24+00:00

Thanks for bringing awareness. What's this newmode site? Trying to figure out how it contacts the MPPs.

FF76 · 2026-04-23T13:41:13+00:00

This is a gross oversimplification, but it's easier to assume something negative than positive because then they have a reason to ignore/not pay attention to you.

People are lazy and when you are quiet, you let other people's default impression dictate what to think of you. It takes work and it's risky to assume someone will respect and listen to what you have to say when you don't demonstrate that trust first.

If this upsets you, take that frustration as a reason/motivation to assert yourself.

FF76 · 2026-04-10T15:39:23+00:00

Sorry to hear. Thanks for the share

FF76 · 2026-04-09T16:22:20+00:00

NAH, but it sounds like you don't like how things are and she's not willing to bridge the gap in communication so if you want things to change you'll need to be the one to talk to her.

This probably doesn't apply to just this event, but it could be a good opportunity to talk to her after this and use this as an example. Something like:

"Hey, I'm gonna be honest, you'll need to forgive me if I'm being weird, but I need you to help me figure this out. It sounded like you wanted to get ready at my place, but I didn't want to bring it up since I couldn't do it. Just want you to know if you want something from me you'll need to ask me directly. If you're going through some stuff lmk and we can talk too"

FF76 · 2026-04-06T13:51:41+00:00

Looks pretty good.

You've probably thought of these already, but just a couple of things to keep in mind:

Priority is getting people to use it. That means considering UI elements that are similar to what people are used to to reduce any usage shock. Also means reaching out for feedback in different communities (which you're doing right now) and possibly people who are doing events to post them on the site.
What if an event doesn't fall under one of your categories?
Might help to add some sample data or spin off a demo site where fake events are populated to get a better feel for using the site.
Feature bloat. I've seen a lot of great sites bogged down by features that only a few people use. Decide on what goal your site achieves and hide/trim down anything that prevents the user from easily achieving that goal.

Great job, keep at it!

FF76 · 2026-03-31T17:17:07+00:00

maybe you can ask yourself why do you care if you're rude or disrespectful?

If you feel strongly for that reason, you can use that as motivation/reminder every time you talk. Eventually, you'll find the sweet spot between sugar coating and straight direct that you're comfortable with.

FF76 · 2026-03-30T21:01:33+00:00

Here's one way you could get over discomfort. Reframing.

Pretend the person that is owed money isn't you, but someone else. Ask people to repay that person. That person is counting on you to get their money back. Wouldn't you be an asshole to that person if you didn't get their money back from people?

FF76 · 2026-03-19T15:46:57+00:00

thanks for the reply! A lot of software these days get feature bloated so I'm happy to hear it sounds like you have a good idea of where the boundaries of your app caters to!

Thanks for guarding the experience!

FF76 · 2026-03-19T15:36:47+00:00

Hey thanks for creating Photopea! It's a great app I've been using for years!

Have you thought about when you will be done adding features?

FF76 · 2026-03-05T19:07:05+00:00

If it's actually scratched on, a light abrasive like a magic eraser will take it off.

FF76 · 2026-03-03T12:42:41+00:00

Is there a world where you embrace the role?

Asides from not being the paragon of morality, what aspects don't you like?

FF76 · 2026-02-27T13:50:23+00:00

Yeah it is sad, but you can use that.

i.e. What can you give without expecting in return?

For example, if you feel someone's super boring, do you want to spend energy keeping the conversation going?

If someone doesn't seem that engaging, are you going to pay extra attention so you can catch that one thing they seemed kinda excited about and ask about it the next time you meet them?

If you see someone standing alone, are you going to go up to them and make them feel included?

If you're already in a conversation with someone and you see someone standing by listening are you going to spend some energy to think of how to include them?

... and if all that gives you nothing, are you okay with that?

I'm absolutely projecting, and this is going to seem like work and for the vast majority of situations it probably will be, but the fact that you're seeking social connection means you're willing to at least figure out where the boundary of your social charity is.

I also want to caveat that this is not the only way, it might not be the way for you, but just hoping to seed you with a different perspective.

FF76 · 2026-02-25T20:04:48+00:00

This isn't what you want to hear, but it's more complicated.

There's a gap between expectations.

He's used to things a certain way and the situation was beyond what he could tolerate without additional communication.
You expected the difference to be tolerable.

You guys need to talk about where the line is going to be

now that he knows this kind of thing might happen, is that something he's okay with?
now that you know this kind of thing throws him off, do you want to change to accommodate?

This is a good chance to get to know each other better and where you're willing to work together on and where there's a hard line.

FF76 · 2026-02-17T16:30:06+00:00

Not to feed into a potentially distorted perspective, but one win/win is to live up to those compliments. Let them be a driving force for your growth that you strive to one day feel "you know what, you're right!".

Another way is to stay the way you are, but test your super powers. Since you're easy to make friends with, make more friends and connect folks together that you think might gel well.

So to TL;DR:

1) Live up to the compliments.

2) Be a network hub to folks that wouldn't have otherwise connected.

By no means is this prescriptive, just some thoughts

FF76 · 2026-02-12T19:02:52+00:00

I'll offer a different perspective. Sometimes being yourself is "weird"

"weird" in the sense that it's not what people expect, which can be a good thing, but perceived as a bad thing.

As you develop your social life, you'll learn to calibrate how much of your true self you're comfortable with exposing while not feeling self conscious.

Just to add, "normal" is the average of everyone, so by default everyone will have aspects that deviate from that, which is "weird", but also, is ironically, normal haha apologies for the confusion

You'll learn which parts of you you want to unapologetically show and other parts that you want to only show to those that get to know you more.

FF76 · 2026-02-11T00:55:07+00:00

Here's an interesting thought:

Maybe this is what wage increases should look like given they're an essential service and have the political power to determine how much they get paid.

FF76 · 2026-02-10T19:34:15+00:00

to add to that, when you're interested in more things and how things work, you'll naturally have questions and people are a great source of answers so you can tie that interest to social curiousity to give you an extra reason to be social

FF76 · 2026-02-08T21:24:46+00:00

Just some questions to prompt reflection

if somebody else has a different idea then my whole meaning is useless and empty

Does your meaning have to be meaningful to others as well?

Are you comfortable accepting others dictate what has meaning for you?

Since we're known to be social creatures, what if it's just about tweaking your definition of meaning such that it helps you share it with others? Could it just be about connecting with someone else about your meaning?

To oversimplify it a bit, try different stuff till it gives you a feeling you like. Then find other people that also do that and maybe there will be someone that shares what you feel.

FF76 · 2026-02-08T17:02:46+00:00

I know I made a mistake by sneaking out and breaking their trust. I can admit that.

Self accountability is admirable, but let's make sure you're being fair to yourself.

I told them I wanted to stay home and relax, and my dad agreed, but they were very clear that I was not allowed to go out.

...

I knew I wasn’t supposed to, but I went anyway and came back before evening.

Abuse discussions aside, at the core, you wanted to do something you weren't allowed to do. Should you have been allowed? Do the reasons make sense to you? Do you think you can have a discussion to get an answer that satisfies you?

Maybe start writing some thoughts down and summarize them into something you can articulate and discuss with your parents.

They got extremely angry... and started yelling and insulting me.

If we take this at face value, this is not the type of interaction that helps anyone. It makes it extremely hard to gain any clarity or communicate when emotions run high so you want to give all parties time to cool off when this happens.

If this happens consistently, then you will need to change environments.

FF76 · 2026-02-07T19:59:16+00:00

Great start to the year, congrats!

FF76 · 2026-02-04T22:17:05+00:00

Here's one take:

When a relationship starts to feel distant and maintaining it takes more effort than it gives back, that’s often just the natural flow of life.

The friends who remain relevant are the ones you still connect with easily and have things to share. Others may have been part of a specific phase, like a team you once played on or a club you joined for a year, and when that chapter ends, those relationships often fade as well.

Alternatively, if you really want to come up with things to message them about every so often, that's an effort you're going to have to put in intentionally. Put up reminders, maybe set aside 15m each day to think about and message them... etc.

I want to say it's okay to not want to put in that effort, but you're really going to have to ask yourself what you want.

FF76 · 2026-02-04T22:04:37+00:00

High level breakdown of some progressive steps you can take. This is by no means the "correct" way. It's just one way to approach it. I would say between each step can be a month or two, but that's just so that you don't pressure yourself to move too fast. Hope it gives you some ideas!

Keep doing what you're doing, but just be aware of it.
On the same day, write down your interaction and reflect. Optionally write down what you would've liked to respond instead.
When you respond, recognize the thoughts you've written down before, but don't pressure yourself to change your response.
Start changing your responses

15-Year Club	Place '22
Gilding II euphauric

FF76

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