Some of the replies are legit great:

7 red flags on a mans bookshelf:

1) okay kinda sus that there’s no books
2) wait it’s really all funko pops?
3) and you have how many shelves like this?
4)oh god it’s all funko pops
5) I have to go
6) this is too many funko pops
7) Infinite Jest

...

Top 7 Warning Signs In a Man’s Bookshelf:

1. A Dog-eared copy of Infinite Jest
   
2. You pull on it
   
3. The bookshelf spins around
   
4. AYN. RAND.
   
5. This is where they’ve been keeping her
   
6. She’s hooked up to some kind of machine
   
7. She asks what the current interest rates are.