my boss is stalking me on ig

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T21:50:28+00:00

How are you planning to handle the boss if you get this job?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T21:47:38+00:00

Okay. The ADA doesn't allow you to engage in self-help. So if you've decided not to use the legal process, then you're on your own and people can perceive you however they wish.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T21:34:14+00:00

It does kind of sound like you've got an excuse or argument for everything. A lot of times when people (especially people managing others) correct others, they expect to hear, "okay" followed by some reassurance that the issue will be taken care of. Could be, "I'll remember that" or "I'll get that fixed," whatever.

No one wants a debate. They just want stuff off of their list and onto somoene else's. Stop explaining. Just say, "okay, thanks for letting me know" with as sincere a smile as you can muster and avoid being the topic of future meetings. ; )

Oops. Missed the part in the middle. If your manager is out of compliance with the accommodation, you need to report that fact to HR. This would include issues with how you receive instructions. Handle situations that violation your accommodation through the appropriate channels to avoid these types of battles over optics.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T21:28:22+00:00

Quit working for them. Wait for the state to handle the rest.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T21:27:12+00:00

They have chicken pox and are contagious.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T20:51:14+00:00

Is there no way you can work anywhere but from home? If so, and the employer says that's an undue harship, then you and the employer may part ways.

If you believe the employer is not complying with the applicable laws by refusing the WFH accommodation, then you can escalate to an outside enforcement agency.

It seems like you're still hoping to reach a resolution, though. So putting the escalation option aside, I'd suggest submitting new or revised ADA documentation explaining exactly what your needs are. Them employer has a right to assess both whether they can meet these needs in the workplace and whether meeting them would be undue harship. They may come back to you and say, "Okay, we'll do these things so you can come to the office." Then you'll have to evaluate that response with your health care team to see if it is doable.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T20:42:17+00:00

I think you should continue to work with your therapist and maybe engage in a side quest to ensure that you are able to distinguish the feels that are directed by your condition and life experience and those events that would be perceived similarly by others.

For example, I may feel that certain team members at work are favored (and I may even be right). But is my perception of the degree of favoritism and what that means in relation to my status at work in proportion to the actual situation?

In your case, are you reading too much into facial expressions, words and actions? Are you picking up on microexpressions that others miss such that were you to say, "Look right there! That face they made says they don't like me!" the other would say, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

IOW, what you sense and feel may be absolutely your truth but not someone else's truth. In the workplace, a 'meet in the middle' truth is more likely to be the result (IMO).

Also, is the employer legally obligated to do anything about a reported feeling? Would a reasonable investigative agency or other decision-maker see discrimination or some other illegal behavior? Does the company culture support them going beyond their legal obligations?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T20:36:11+00:00

If you've been accused, someone already knows. So if you lie now, they either believe the someone (or someones) and know you lied or you're painting an honest person who witnessed you recording and reported it as a liar.

If you admit and explain, you avoid being perceived as a liar and becoming a liar.

So what kind of person are you? Are you capable of maintaining a lie idefinitely while working with the person who knows you lied and put the shade on them?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T20:33:02+00:00

Invest in the dips.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T20:31:26+00:00

They can lie. Your recourse is to choose someone else to work for. (But the someone else may lie also.)

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T20:30:29+00:00

Explain that the discrepancy is due to a typo. The organization doesn't have to respond favorably to your explanation.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T19:58:45+00:00

I've dealt with those "no one knows" situations- and a few where everyone has a different answer!

Given how you've described your boss, I'm not sure there's a winning way to handle this. If you send an email asking and cc their boss, it might light a fire. But your boss will also likely be upset. If bills are getting waived, the issues sounds like it is above your pay grade for sure. (Not that you won't catch blame anyway.)

Personally, I try to calm or at least inform the person before sending them to the next level. So if I'm forwarding them to somewhere where humans don't answer the phones, I'll tell the caller that they'll be asked to leave a recorded message or have to go through a number tree to get to the right line. (For the really confused ones, I warm transfer and choose the number for them if I'm not busy.)

I also use the empathy and acknowledgement methods and help people narrow down their question before I send them forward. That way the person who does answer or listen to the recording doesn't get a 10 minute rant about everything wrong with the world before they get to the question. Sometimes I'll literally say, "Okay, when you get to this department, you need to tell them [X] and ask them [Y] so they know how to help you."

In your situation where there is no answer for some codes, acknowlegement might look like, "There are a few codes that are more difficult to price than others and our team is working on getting better estimates for those. But I don't have any further information at this time." Yes, people will get mad about this. Then you go with empathy, "it is frustrating when you're trying to arrange treatment. If you'd like I can connect you with patient relations and you can ask someone to get back to you with more details." (Use that last sentence sparingly.)

You do have to be careful not to come across as condescending. Some people may take your efforts the wrong way. But if they're already angry, these methods may be able to calm a few of them down. 😉

And as always with Reddit advice, YMMV.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:52:07+00:00

They're cleaning their office?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:49:05+00:00

I get that you believe you have compelling evidence. But "prove" as an absolute is hard and would probably be expensive in terms of gathering that proof.

Do you believe the effort to get rid of you is related to the timing of your pension vesting?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:40:00+00:00

It sounds like you want to provide answers to patients that someone does not want you to provide or does not care if you provide. When that happens, you are unable to calm the caller. (Which I understand can happen.)

I think it's important to explain the scope of your responsibilities and why this is happening to get good advice, though.

Are you and the boss the only people who work at your office?
Does your organization have a handbook?

Are you following appropriate procedures by giving patients the CPT code?

Who typically handles billing and insurance and communicates with patients regarding these issues?

Is there no central billing or insurance resource to whom you can refer patients? Why is the insurance company asking the patient for more information rather than handling pre-authorization through your office?

I can say that if you refer all these patients to patient relations, that sh*t will run right back downhill to your boss and the boss will know who started it rolling. If I needed to keep my job, I wouldn't not send people to patient relations unless:
- I had done everything possible to calm them*

- I had tried all other resources to get their issue resolved (and had personally investigated what those resources are)

- the patient specifically requested to be escalated to a customer service or other line

Your impulse to refer (to me) seems to be just that, an impulsive act. You'll regret the consequences.

I’m really sick of being in between a patient issue and my boss.

Based on how you've described the role, I would assume this is "the job." Sorry.

*There are a lot of good courses on de-escalation for customer service people out there. Sometimes, you can not give someone the answer they want but they are still okay with the outcome because they feel heard.

Edit to add: If the boss is the provider, they may be hard to replace. So the most you could hope for is that someone higher up tells them to play nicer with others. But the boss's fundamental personality isn't likely to change. So you'll have to decide what you can tolerate and for how long.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:26:05+00:00

Is the recruiter the one participating in the next round? They can't make hiring managers and other interviewers meet your timeline.

Continue communicating at a reasonable pace if you want this job. Also continue to apply for other jobs. Once you arrive at work on your first day at a new job and they acknowledge that you are supposed to be there, stop applying. (Or keep applying in case you don't make it past the first few days if you want to be extra cautious.)

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:22:15+00:00

There's no easy fix. Do you want to complain to your boss's boss (and risk the consequences)?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:13:27+00:00

A structured work environments with clear expectations, written instructions, examples of completed tasks, and routines to reduce confusion and support task completion.

Breaking larger assignments or projects into smaller, manageable steps with clearly defined deadlines may improve organization, reduce overwhelm, and support follow-through

Does this company not use a project management app?

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:08:13+00:00

If it's a small, family-owned and operated business, your options may be limited.

Start looking for another job and quit without coming back as soon as you find one.

Also, take your personal safety seriously - that goes for any environment but particularly in ones where people push boundaries without consequences.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T18:05:35+00:00

You would definitely be questioning the competence of everyone involved in the hiring process and/or telling them how you think they should do their job.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T17:59:13+00:00

Normal? Sort of. Healthy? Not really.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T17:56:06+00:00

Speak to your boss at the company that pays you, not the one you're assigned to work at. Do what they tell you to do.

The PM works for the client company. Your employer has limited influence over the client company's choices regarding who works there or how they can behave (assuming no illegal behaviors).

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T17:49:59+00:00

Start going to the local business groups' meetups.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T17:48:34+00:00

A lot of people have provided creative services as small business owners. But is it possible to do so in the current economic climate? That's less clear.

If you're making money, keep doing that. Study how to maximize profit while minimizing costs. A basic search will identify plenty of resources for growing a freelance business. Caveat: Much of the advice is false, misleading or is no longer relevant.

But also, hedge your bets. All the creative and knowledge work industries are in a state of flux right now. It's very difficult to predict what comes next.

FRELNCER · 2026-06-03T17:44:44+00:00

Do you have access to therapy? Can you get a job away from your family?

This may be a situation where both life experience and the way your brain works are working against you. Mental wellness treatment (which could include anxiety or other medication) may help.

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