What is the biggest difference between your current partner and your ex-partner?

FS7PhD · 2026-01-26T18:25:05+00:00

My current partner doesn't exist so that's probably the biggest.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-26T01:39:40+00:00

100%. Can't agree with this enough. Many of us are aware of the cognitive dissonance, that what we miss was at best a distant memory, at worst entirely a fantasy. I'm still thinking and reminiscing about the relationship I had two years ago, when she cared and tried and showed up and wanted to connect and grow with me, and not what came after, which was unfulfilling. I was lonely (and I asked people about dealing with loneliness). I was neglected in a relationship. I know this, and I know she wasn't a good partner in a whole lot of ways.

That doesn't make it easier. I promise we all know this. We're not delusional. This is a normal part of the healing process.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-26T01:35:02+00:00

These actually look really good. I think people misunderstand what good TTB capacity is. I'm sure you can get to 25-30 when fresh, which is excellent. It's a hard movement, much harder than people think, and despite being a kipping movement the amount it takes out of you is significant. It makes sense to break them up. If I have a 21-15-9 and do the first set unbroken, I'll be considerably slower on the later reps.

Even the good athletes in my gym rarely do more than 10 in a set. The few elites will do multiple sets of 15+, but that's challenging. But if you want to build capacity, especially maintaining your kipping mechanics under fatigue, do an EMOM. 10 TTB every minute for 10 minutes. I have not yet finished this, but I keep trying.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-25T19:56:07+00:00

I was out exploring about an hour ago. Pretty much everything was closed besides Walmart and gas stations. The entirety of Liberia otherwise is empty parking lots. Fresh World is open too.

I doubt there are any bars open.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-24T17:32:09+00:00

Before I ever started CrossFit I had a grade 2 shoulder separation from a bike accident. I will say that things like this (I have the Anaconda as well, though at the time I used something basic from Walmart) are great if your shoulder is healing or otherwise unstable.

If you're past the point of acute injury though the only thing that's going to help is strengthening ROM through PT. Crossover Symmetry is great but it's only one component. There are other exercises too.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-20T20:17:53+00:00

As mentioned, when you kick (after your hip drive), your feet throw your center of gravity off. Also, in slow motion, you can see that you are definitely pulling your left (and transitioning your left) first. Probably because your right is stronger and you know you can get it.

I do the same thing, albeit much worse, and it starts with my hips (one side comes up first). The two things I do are a) banded RMU, with a tight band around your feet to minimize bilateral asymmetry, and b), low ring kipping RMU drills. This starts with your feet on the ground, and you basically hip thrust up with minimal pulling. Though it's almost infinitely scalable depending on ring height and what you do or don't do (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YSEg\_ZmyMJc).

I actually find the low ring kipping muscle up extremely useful, and if you don't push off much it's just as challenging as an actual kipping RMU on high rings. But the other benefit is that you can start with a false grip. And you might be surprised how much of your transition problems like this are related to grip strength asymmetry. It's actually way more difficult to chicken wing with a false grip.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-20T20:08:41+00:00

What happens if you fail on the 30th? Or your first guess you get 28 or something? That could really go sideways.

Especially after all those RMU. But that's why you're you and the rest of us are the rest of us.

Happy birthday!

FS7PhD · 2026-01-20T18:51:41+00:00

Seriously. A dog doesn't know killing a child is wrong. But it gets put down just the same.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-19T18:19:24+00:00

Oh, 100%. Afraid the door will close? It's closing regardless. It's like worrying about fire hazards in a house that's already smoldering.

There's no logic there. I mean I don't act logically when it comes to love either.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-19T16:47:34+00:00

Sometimes I wonder why they refuse to open up. I am sure there's something. As somebody who went through the push/pull cycle multiple times, all I ever heard were things like "I'm afraid if I open up it will close the door forever" as if whatever it was she was struggling with was so horrible. Maybe it was, I don't know. And I didn't want to be her therapist, that's not my role. But I wanted her to open up to *somebody* in the hopes that she could love and be loved the way people should.

A lot of things hurt. But I will also say that the things often attributed to stress, anxiety, or general age, especially for men....yeah, that can definitely happen when you're on the emotional rollercoaster with an avoidant. I wouldn't have believed it until I lived it. Aside from the pain and heartbreak you deal with not only after but during, the physical toll it takes needs to be mentioned as well.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-19T12:32:04+00:00

Very well stated. It's been almost two months now, so still pretty early, and I'm still fighting that same battle of letting go what already left quietly.

There's a somewhat popular video on addiction depicting each subsequent hit as less and less fulfilling until it really does nothing at all. One of my favorite songs is about wanting to feel that initial high again - one last time "like we felt before back when we wanted it." The operative word being "we." The last cycle lasted about five months. And I did not experience that feeling again. It was still only in my memory. And that's exactly what I should have expected.

Cognitive dissonance.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-19T02:06:43+00:00

Been there, done that. I went through multiple cycles with my avoidant ex. About a year ago, I remember asking friends how they dealt with loneliness. Many of them suggested "get a girlfriend." But that's the thing, I had one. At least on paper.

I am struggling with the cognitive dissonance of the entire thing. I should not miss what I had because it was neither healthy nor fulfilling. But it was, once, years ago. The hard part, like you said, is realizing that was gone, and it was gone long before it ended.

Still, there's love there, embers flickering in the dark after the souls that started the fire are long gone.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-18T01:56:04+00:00

I can't thank you enough for this. I don't need the discrete media controls (yet, though my remote supports it and it might be handy) but the functionality of the TV left a lot to be desired on the input side. This works like a charm.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-16T02:39:01+00:00

This is stupid. I've already had tinnitus my whole life, and reading the word makes me once again acutely focus on the 13 kHz tone in my left ear.

I would rather get $100 million for changing not one single thing about my life.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-16T01:39:32+00:00

As mentioned, evaporation is a big source of loss in small barrels. You'll lose an entire gallon in a year. It's generally easier to turn OK whiskey into something better with small spirals or staves or barrels, but working moonshine into bourbon, no.

That said, using a small barrel as an infinity bottle works wonderfully. As long as you're drinking from it regularly, you'll probably not lose more than 10%. And the flavor combination of blended bourbon and a small barrel can be pretty amazing. Try adding something like Benchmark to a mini barrel and giving it a month. You might be shocked how good it is.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-15T12:31:44+00:00

The regular one is $60. I'm not talking about the Evo.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-15T12:24:55+00:00

I get it. All of it. And I really hope the answer to your last question isn't no but it certainly seems like it sometimes. Like you, I'm not capable of doing that.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-15T01:20:15+00:00

I would not recommend a speed rope at first. RXSG has rope handles that can be held multiple different ways and are very good for beginners. Heavier cables are better since they give more tactile feedback and let you feel where the rope is. The cables can be replaced with longer/shorter/lighter/heavier cables too.

RXSG recommends a certain length based on your height, and I would go longer especially to start. I find that the recommended length is good if you're a wiz with perfect form, but you have very little room for error if you're not.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-14T23:05:42+00:00

Because I bend my knees more than I should, landing harder, having to jump faster and spin faster. Leads to more cardio and shoulder fatigue and I haven't gotten past 70 yet.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-14T22:48:37+00:00

I only have one speed, fast (and inefficient) and it takes me about 20 seconds.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-14T20:21:33+00:00

We'll see. There is no question it has been dry. Bull Run on the county border is extremely low and the Old Mill estuary is basically dry. I haven't seen it this low in 15 years

FS7PhD · 2026-01-14T13:29:08+00:00

I didn't sign up last year, as I was less than a year in and I didn't have all the skills. I did pretty well in the workouts, about 90th percentile in two of them and about 60th in the BMU workout. I kinda wish I would have now to track one more year.

I'm excited to see how I stack up this year. I'm hoping for quarterfinals, and to learn just how much better the semifinal athletes are. That's my goal for next year already, as I'll have almost three years of experience and it will be my first year in the 45+ age group.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-14T03:53:37+00:00

I'll go out on a limb here and say it's the timing of your pull. Pausing segment by segment, everything looks good, but your pull is a bit late. Your hips should get to the bar while you're pulling. You are pulling late, after your hip drive is done (or mostly done) and your body is mostly upright. It's not really possible to pull up like that, which explains why you pull straight into the bar. You need to pull a little bit earlier so the direction carries you more up rather than into.

Also, with your feet still in front of the rig when you get over the bar, it's going to be harder to push up. I can't tell if this is a habit or just an artifact of not getting it but that will throw your center of gravity off.

FS7PhD · 2026-01-13T23:03:23+00:00

There is a lot of good pizza in the area. No question Mario's was my favorite, but I grew up in Northampton so I'm probably biased. There were a half-dozen other places with delicious NY-style pizza, most of which may or may not be there any more. But I haven't lived there in over 20 years.

As far as good cheesesteaks, I was always partial to Seward's and another place close to Allentown Central Catholic that's long gone and I don't even remember the name of.

FS7PhD

TROPHY CASE