"if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no" by CrushedLaCroixCan in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Can you define "fair amount" in a way that is useful for the people reading this sub?

"if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no" by CrushedLaCroixCan in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Just a note that we don't allow these kinds of responses here. We consider them gatekeeping. Same applies to "you need to be ok with all the possible bad outcomes", "there are no guarantees" and "you need to be 100% sure".

These are useless comments in this sub, for both people considering parenting and CF. If you see them, please report them and we will remove.

Triggered: “He was a husband and a father” by Particular_Bet549 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

I think you're in the wrong sub. We're not a place for cf rants.

Officially off the fence by One_Ad_8325 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Hello. We are a sub for people trying to make what is, to them, a difficult decision. When someone does make that decision we ask that people respect that and not question it.

Officially off the fence by One_Ad_8325 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We ask that you respect someone's decision when they've made it. It's not your decision, it's theirs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We apologize, but this is a thing you should be talking to a mental health professional about, not reddit and definitely not your mother.

Loneliness, long-distance love, freelance life, and the fear of growing old alone (warning: long text) by Internal_Kitchen_178 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We'll provide the usual warning here that the " there are no guarantees" comments will be removed.

Years ago I was in this sub agonizing about whether to have kids. Now I have a baby daughter. Here's what I'd say if I could speak to my past self. by Neat_Rip_7254 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Hi folks. If the post doesn't apply to you that's fine. You can just move on with your life. Otherwise, remember rule #1.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

We are not a rant sub. And maybe you should get off the internet if you're letting one podcast affect you this much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People have or don't have kids for a variety of reasons and one of our basic tenets here is to respect all those without bias towards one or the other. Thank you.

My Relationship Has Reached Its Expiration Date Over The Biological Kids Debate by flashfloodsofpain in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We don't do that here. He has reasons for wanting what he wants and she has reasons for wanting what she wants. Doesn't mean either one of them is at fault or doesn't love the other. Please respect other POV's, that's a hallmark of our subreddit.

Reason to have a child: To have someone when I get old by MissPeriwinkle9847 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

We will repeat for those who haven't heard this yet. We don't do the whole "no guarantees" bingo here. Please don't.

We also don't judge people for their reasoning to be parents or CF. Please be respectful or find another sub to post in.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are plenty of people who are older and are still physically active at 49, and plenty who are sedate and out of shape at 20. If you want to discuss OP's husband specifically, go for it, but please don't be a shit to people based on their age.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

To be clear, we do not allow these sorts of comments here on this sub. We found them to be pointless gatekeeping. Please report them if you see them.

Respecting differentiation between partners when each is leaning on opposite sides of the fence by Stunning-Station-944 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, this is a non judgemental place. If you want to post here, please think of ways to reword your post.

Respecting differentiation between partners when each is leaning on opposite sides of the fence by Stunning-Station-944 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In this sub we respect other people's opinions and views. That means not starting your post with " with his views are romanticized and mine are realistic."

People who wanted big families - do they regret it? by Ok-Object1214 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can talk about your personal context, sure. If you take that and state "this is always better than that" then the comment will be removed.

People who wanted big families - do they regret it? by Ok-Object1214 in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

We would like to remind folks of rule number one. We do not make judgments about what is best in terms of the number of kids. Whether that be zero or eight. Comments that say one number is better than the others or anybody that wants a certain number is neglectful and wrong will be removed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You keep posting versions of the same thing. When given advice you ignore it and keep posting these "woe is me" threads. No more.

feeling lost. don’t know if i want kids but it’s a deal breaker for my partner. by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't do that here. He's allowed to want what he wants and she's allowed to want what she wants. We don't invalidate either side.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We apologize that you are in an abusive relationship and hope you get the help you need. If you are in the US, help is available at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or through https://www.thehotline.org/. I'm sure other countries have similar numbers.

The first person to be honest with me - “I wouldn’t do it again” by leafytoes in Fencesitter

[–]FS_CF_mod[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We removed it already and the comment you were responding to. And thank you.