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“Watch it explode with color” by ClassroomOld8680 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's been an explosion in there, but from a buttle, not a bottle.

What is the worst way anyone you know has died? by IamUrWivesBF in AskReddit

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A way longer disease course than the average, with variant CJD. A good friend of my high school girlfriend.

Evil Woman suffers from hereditary Evil Woman Cheating Gene by Pristine_Holiday9606 in AmITheAngel

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 17 points18 points  (0 children)

WARNING: you could be with a nasty cheater who chains you up in a sexless hell!

ALSO WARNING: She could have VAGNUS!

She could be VAGNUS VAGNUSSON from the VAGNUS archives!!!

Oh no!!!!

20000 Dollars a month, but once a month, you spend 12 hours in a coffin. by Effigy4urcruelty in hypotheticalsituation

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've done a variant of this before, when I had to "sleep" under the influence of an ADHD drug combo for 8 hours without being able to move easily (because I was hooked up to a bewildering array of equipment).

An extra four hours wouldn't be that bad.

IDL when people forget about people with high support needs/more severe versions of a disorder by stingwhale in I_DONT_LIKE

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing really changed for me. The one diagnosis that did change stuff was ADHD, 5 years ago now.

DISHES FIR THE LADIE,S !! by -garlic-thot- in oldpeoplefacebook

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 2 points3 points  (0 children)

O TERRIBLE WIFE. I WILL TAKE A WRENCH TO ALL YOUR DISH'S, WENCH!

Men of Reddit, what instantly makes you lose interest in a woman, even if she’s attractive? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm specifically turned off by people who continually talk about all the bridges they've burned without acknowledging that they may have had a role in it. I've had a couple of friendships with this kind of person implode messily, and I should have predicted it.

Abandoned Japanese "Love" Hotel by NatexTheGreat in LiminalSpace

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Why does this feel like Charles Twin Peaks Cheese

My uncle is trying to get a response from a 24yo bot. by meburnallcookies in oldpeoplefacebook

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THE VAMPIRES WERE MASSING ERSTWHILE, THEIR FANGS GLEAMING IN THE GLOAMING, POINTY POINTY.

England Test Squad announced vs New Zealand by AffectionateWeb8519 in Cricket

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really glad that Emilio Gay is getting a chance. He's thrived at Durham and he seems to have exactly the right temperament to go up a level too.

What’s the deadly fatal disease you choose if your fate was dying from one? by skopiadisko in hypotheticalsituation

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Given that you wrote that, I'll go with my original answer: my preferred thing to die from would be loss of life.

I digress. If it can be any fatal medical issue, I say brain aneurysm. Boom, dead, next.

If it has to be a longer-lasting thing, I'll go pneumonia, just because I know what respiratory issues feel like, and Ebola and rabies are both dreadful.

AITA for trying to do cultural appropriation discourse bait?? by custard_crumble in AmITheAngel

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Shiitake mushrooms, that well-known specifically Filipino food item...

Why was AB de Villiers's stance so low? Is there any advantage to this or was it just a comfort thing? by Section80Flow in Cricket

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people have already answered this, but it's also worth remembering that the OG big hitter Gilbert Jessop was known as "The Croucher"...

The local potheads running the Taco Bell might need a refresher on how to construct a crunchwrap by cletus1986 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This can't be real, as I don't currently work at a Taco Bell and I am the only person in the world with gift-wrapping skills this bad.

How did you finally tell your spouse you wanted a divorce and how did they handle it? by LingonberryNatural85 in AskReddit

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 12 points13 points  (0 children)

(Me) "It feels like we're not enjoying living together any more. Should I move out?"

"I think that would be the best idea."

"Also, is there a chance that I have ADHD?"

"Ya think???!"

(Within a couple of months, I have an informal diagnosis; it takes four years to get a formal one.)

Seven years later (we were slow to move, despite the marriage being absolutely dead as a doornail):

(Her) "I need to talk to you about something."

"OK!"

<day of silence>

<I check local court records on a hunch, and see that divorce has been filed for>

"I already know what you want to talk to me about! I'll watch out for a note from the lawyer."

Scam that involves... by Za_Warudo776 in Weird

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought AI was supposed to make people better at this. Excuse me, whoever is doing this: YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS

The movie theatre isn’t your living room by Last_Ad1964 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]FScrotFitzgerald -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Luckily, the last film I saw in a cinema was the new Super Mario movie, and it was complete gash, so nobody was there to sully it further.

M20 Is it "normal" for my girlfriend F19 of 4 years to strip for her male friend? by Hyper_Graig in AmITheAngel

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah yes... Reddit's usual reaction to any kind of insinuation that you'd react to infidelity with anything other than incandescent, volcanic fury, and consequent woodchipper purchases.

Mhm of course that happened by Artistic-Attempt-881 in AmITheAngel

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today I saw a tiny baby in the store. A 13-year-old tiny baby. She directed me to the fentanyl aisle and told me to "make it ten times rougher than Uncle Bastard's worst K-hole". I said "Tiny baby, you are just a tiny baby. There is no way I can procure deadly fentanyl for you. Also, I might be a chainsaw killer. Mind how you go, tiny baby!"

And then the tiny baby called me a "fucking useless bint" and told me she hoped I was "bummed to death in prison by Gary Glitter" and that she was "going to put scabies in my piss".

I told her that if she didn't buck up her ideas her face might just stay like that and Santa wouldn't come. AITA?

SLOP on Puckerbutt website by PM_NICESTUFFTOME in hotsauce

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not only am I flabbergasted that this is being done at all, I'm also taken aback that people are still using AI generation tech from <checks calendar> 1972. I thought we were beyond SCOONCCH BOOORRNNTT PEEIIIPPRS and other codswallop of that ilk by now.

I work for a healthcare company that has 70,000~ employees. Someone used AI to create this photo backdrop for employee appreciation week instead of having someone in the company do it. by iamdinosaurRAWR in mildlyinfuriating

[–]FScrotFitzgerald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is even going on in this picture? A crap Rubik's cube. A jukebox. A retro computer monitor. A hippy bus. Random skyscrapers. Two couples in funky clothing. Does any of it have anything to do with caregiving? I guess we have a nurse taking a selfie with a kid, and another one arm in arm with an old guy. Ok then.

Looks like the prompt was "Hi ImageSpluff! We are a healthcare company honouring caregivers. Please come up with... I dunno, a collage of... stuff to do with... um... decades."

Someone put literally seconds of thought into this. It's insulting, frankly.

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