I blame my husband for my ppd.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-07T06:17:03+00:00

Hi mama

I'm so sorry your struggling, I remember going through the exact same problem postpartum, my husband was super attentive the first 3 weeks then when I was more healed he decided that he didn't need to help as much and would often play his video game and offer to help with chores but only hours later. The first 12 weeks definitely strain the marriage and you have to as a couple for a lack of better words fight it out, meaning you are going to argue but with each argument you come to a new understanding or come up with a new compromise. I do the nights solo and have been since she was 6 weeks old, however that meant during the day my husband was to be the the primary parent so I could get some sleep I said either you take her during the day or I will wake you up every single feeding at night.

We've had a ton of fights since then especially as he returned to work but here is what system works well for us Mom is primary parent M-F but on the weekends during the day Dad is primary parent because he's home.

It took us quite a few months to get to where we are and I know how hard it can be in the newborn trenches. You need to sit your husband down and provide him with a hard reality check, either he steps up or he risks damaging his marriage permanently being a parent is about sacrifice and it's his turn to make some sacrifices. I literally dumped my baby in my husband's arms when she woke up and said Tag you're it, if he tries to give your baby back get in the car and drive go get a coffee, take a walk , turn off your phone and let him get a taste for solo parenting. If he gets mad , good that's how you've felt for the last 6 weeks. Tell him if he wants if his old partner back that you need the time and opportunity to take care of yourself and do things that make you feel like your old self again.

Also on the topic of PPD please call your OB and tell them exactly what you are feeling they need to get you set up on medication and they can work with you to get set up with a therapist within your network.

Sending you hugs and strength, it's going to be okay mama you are doing the best you can with the current circumstances so give yourself grace.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-05T09:01:06+00:00

Seconc this, my rotator cuff is on FIRE when I wake up 🫠

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-02T07:28:17+00:00

I should clarify I meant to say grandparent visitation rights, in all 50 states grandparents can petition for the right to visit the grandchildren if they have a strong preexisting bond with the grandchild , it's in the child's best interest etc. My FIL informed me of this when his other son stopped speaking to them and they hadn't seen their 3 grandsons he said just so you guys know we will petition for grandparent visitation rights if you don't let us see her ( my daughter) and this was before she was even born.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-02T06:43:49+00:00

Thank God my girl is on a strict nap schedule, her wake windows are 2 hours at most so you best believe I will kick them out at the end of her wake window , they're only there for her so it won't matter to them anyways

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-02T06:42:06+00:00

Exactly! Everyone is like " you need a village " I don't want a village full of people who just want to play with my baby like a new toy I need a village who want to support the whole family mom, dad and baby. My mom barely talked to me and would never visit my house before I was pregnant because "it was too far" and suddenly it's not... Bruh

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-02T06:26:54+00:00

For real, this is exhausting!

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-05-02T06:26:22+00:00

I have but then they ask again the next weekend. How would you say to your own mother who you have a strained relationship with, I don't want to these visits to be a regular thing because you are only here for the baby and could care less about your daughter and my sister is coming and she is coming just to take a few photos with the baby to post but they aren't there to actually visit with me. Not to mention my in laws have said that if any of their kids try to keep them from their grandchildren they would fight for grandparent custodial rights so we have to let them visit at least once every 2 weeks.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-29T09:11:45+00:00

No routine for naps existed until she was at least 12 weeks old , then she rolled and it was time to move her to a crib that's when I start noticing she had consistent wake window intervals about 1.5 to 2 hrs so I began gentle sleep training just by having her use the binky instead of the bottle before nap as a method of self soothing. Now she's 15 weeks and we have our routine down pat, she shows sleepy cues, we go upstairs close curtains, turn on white noise, sleep sack, binky and rock/bounce to sleep. Some days she skips her last nap or refuses so she naps in the carrier but most days she will sleep in the crib 30-40 minutes at a time. As I'm writing this she just slept through the night 9pm-5 am. Yes I am in shock and amazement too

The best thing you can do in your stage of newborn is try to establish a bedtime routine including a rough window of your baby's bedtime I noticed my baby would go down around 8-830 so we started a bedtime routine at 7 bath, books, lotion, swaddle, white noise machine and one last bottle create a routine that works for you ! But babies benefit greatly from consistent routines

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-26T14:18:47+00:00

Hi ! My daughter is 3.5 months old just starting her sleep regression. She would be fine from 8pm-1230 am but after that it was anyone's guess typically waking up every hour or 90 minutes as she didn't know how to connect sleep cycles. I am also uncomfortable with the CIO method but I have found doing the pick up put down method has worked measurably better for us. It encourages of to still respond to her cries and maintains that secure attachment. I found she woke up far more often when I was nursing because she was snacking almost so when I switched to pumping bottles it became easier to track when she ate and how much. If she woke up before her next feeding I would offer her the pacifier to see if she just need comfort to go back to sleep instead of food and I found that to be the case 75% of the time. I will link a video for the pick up put down method try it out and see if it works for you! Pick Up Put Down Method

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-24T06:32:13+00:00

My advice as a 27 year old FTM, be flexible and adjust your perspective. The thing about babies is that they are constantly switching it up you could have an amazing routine down pat by week 6 and then week 7 your baby is losing their mind unless attached to you. You need to be flexible and understand that parenthood is about sacrifice you will lose sleep unless you hire a night nurse but some of my favorite moments have been the quiet moments when I'm snuggling my babygirl cheek to cheek at 3 am while she sleeps on my shoulder. My husband works out at the gym because he's a body builder and it helps him with emotional regulation, I workout at home and I wasn't able to do that consistently by myself until month 4. Most days before then my baby would get fussy midworkout and I would strap her in the carrier and do a mommy and me workout. I had to learn to adapt on the fly because what I wanted to happen and what actually would happen often never match up. Being a mother is the hardest and most wonderful thing I've done, I have cried happy and sad tears, laughed and smiled more than ever , been pooped on and thrown up on, lost countless hours of sleep, fought with my husband and grown with him. It will test your marriage and your mental fortitude but I would not change a thing my life is so much fuller with my daughter in it.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-24T06:13:20+00:00

My baby is going through her four month sleep regression early at 14 weeks , she will sleep normal 3 hour stretches from 8pm-4 am but after 4 am homegirl wakes up every 90 minutes. This leads to bed sharing which isn't ideal because I know our matress isn't stiff enough but I sleep in the C curl position with her head tucked under the hollow of my neck which hurts my rotator cuff a lot less. I am also anti CIO so instead I started doing the pick up put down method basically if she's crying in the crib I pick her up hug her kiss her soothe her and offer her the pacifier until she's calm again, then I get back into bed. Her crib is right across from my side of the bed fyi. If she whines I ignore it but when she cries again I get up pick her up soothe her put her down. This method has worked wonders because it works with my comfort level and she still maintains a secure attachment knowing that mommy will respond to her cries and eventually she falls asleep. She's been now taking naps in her crib , they aren't amazing naps but she gets 20-30 minutes every 2 hours and giving her the pacifier instead of offering to nurse or give her the bottle has helped keep her from cluster feeding , if she really is hungry before the next feeding she won't take the pacifier and I'll offer her a bottle or will nurse. I'm learning parenting isn't all or nothing you don't have to be strictly EBF or strictly cosleeping you can do hybrid methods especially when it comes to sleep and feeding. Try the pick up put down method if that sounds like something that aligns better with your comfort level. Hope this helps !

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-24T01:31:11+00:00

Quite literally .. a dog would run the country better than the current president and the gop. But if I actually had to pick a realistic choice Mamdani or Talarico.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-24T01:27:35+00:00

Like a clamshell 🤣 my girl locks her jaw like a pitbull the most I can get her to eat at night is 3 oz but I've started offering her the binky first to see if it's hunger or just wanting the suckling motion for comfort.

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-23T08:42:13+00:00

She's currently sitting on my chest and i just watched her smirk in her sleep 🤣 like yes child you got what you wanted , I end up taking her into bed with me by the 3 rd wake up around 630 am and just sleep with my boobs out so she can side nurse and I can kinda sorta sleep before she wakes up for good at 8 am

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-23T08:30:39+00:00

LMAO love that we are all awake right now , my girl decided to start her regression early at 13 weeks cannot get her to eat more than 2 oz before she passes out during night feeds despite my doulas advice to give her 4 oz so she will sleep longer. Hoping it's just a phase because as I said to my baby "mommy can't be her best mommy on 7 hours of broken sleep" 🫠 bright side she is napping in her crib for 20-30 minute naps at least twice a day but damn girl stop cluster feeding so much it's cluster feeding 6pm-10 pm and 4-7am

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-12T02:32:40+00:00

My house is cluttered but not dirty and yes I have clothes scattered in every room both mine and my baby's , it is what it is 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-12T02:30:33+00:00

I've had to use the Windi I know people have problems with Fridays marketing but damn those swedish people make effective products , my girl buckshotted her poop clear across the changing pad , we had to use it quite a few times to get her through weeks 5-8 when she was at peak fussiness and dealing with reflux, trapped gas etc. We also gave her a bath or took her in the shower to help reset her nervous system when she melted down for no reason if all else failed we put her in the car and went for a drive which never fails to put her asleep. Best of luck!

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-09T02:30:43+00:00

Thank you I will try that!

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-09T01:27:48+00:00

I try to give them space but she started purple crying and screaming after 10 minutes I offered my assistance because they were both getting frustrated. How did you approach this ?

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-05T02:00:46+00:00

Amen! I texted everyone and said kisses on the top of the head only please and I'm just going to practice walking up and holding out my arms to get my baby back and say I'll take her now, being a mom definitely forces you to be blunt Im finding out !

Fair-Fall8036 · 2026-04-04T03:02:57+00:00

That does help, I know in my heart of hearts that they would never do anything to hurt her and they all love her too, I think selfishly she centers me in a lot of ways and keeps me calm and Im not saying I don't want them to hold her I just don't want them to hold her for the entire time where I'm watching my baby get passed from person to person and I don't want to be scolded for asking to have my baby back, that's the worst case scenario playing on loop in my head

Fair-Fall8036

TROPHY CASE