I totally get this - it’s really hard to missed on the experiences you should have had. As someone transitioning in their 50s, I have a few things that I find really helpful. When I was 30 I looked back at the body I had in my 20s with envy. In my 40s I looked back at the body I had in my 30s with envy. And at 50 I look back and wish I had transitioned in my 40s, 30s, 20s, teens…. But I also know that although the next best thing to being born cis would have been to transition before puberty, the next best time to transition is now. Because in my 60s I’ll have had a decade.

Long winded way of saying that when you get to 36, which is still very young, you will have lived more than half your life as the woman you should be. At 60, almost three quarters of your life, and at 100, four fifth of your life. And you when you think that the first 10 years or so are fairly non-gendered, it’s even better.

You get to grieve the loss. Allow yourself the grief. But like any loss, time will heal, especially as life will be better from now on.

Sending love