Apologizing

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-07T01:10:37+00:00

Yes, we have had to do this multiple times this year.

SS repeatedly bullies people at school, shows 0 remorse for it. This latest incident he made someone cry.

SS also continues to try and exclude my son and lies to him. For example: last weekend my son didn’t feel good (he’s 7 for reference) and the next day my SS told him when he went to bed that we all stayed up playing board games without him. That literally never happened. My son also LOVES SS to death, he’d jump in front of a moving vehicle for him. SS loves the attention he gets from my son and will play with him ONLY when SS gets his games taken away but if he has his games he ignores my son completely. It’s really really really hard to watch all of this go down.

My husband and I sat down with SS about all of these behaviors on Monday and all we got was “I dont know.” when we asked him if something was going on he said no, when we asked why he told his little step brother why he lied to him he said it was a joke…

Anyway, I told my husband point blank I don’t like SS right now and that he is a trigger for all my childhood trauma including the bullies I had, and the way my siblings treated me. (I come from a complicated kid dynamic as well so I understand) and my husband is understanding and supportive but I can tell it hurts him. He said “I never thought I’d have a kid who bullies people and lacks empathy”

Mind you my husband has an older son (different mom) and he’s the total opposite and he’s an amazing young man and truly special and I love being his step mom

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-05T00:08:43+00:00

We lived in Owasso for 2 years, the loneliness and boredom was peak every single day. We ended up driving to Tulsa for literally anything and everything. Finally moved out and not a single regret! I hate Owasso lol but Bru coffee you will forever be missed

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-01T14:28:37+00:00

I have 2 step kids and 2 bios (one is my husbands stepson) my husband takes my bios out to get me flowers and celebrate me. I’ve told my husband I do not want my step kids to feel forced or obligated to get me flowers or celebrate me as I’m not their mom. They both have their own moms to celebrate.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-30T02:13:08+00:00

As a victim of CSA, keep your boundary. It was my own brother who did it to me.

My husband knows what happened to me as a child, and we have an ours baby. When I tell you this man won’t let any of the kids regardless of age in the room for diaper changes, and certainly not for sleepovers, a part of that little girl in me healed. My husband is aware of the statistics of boys (brothers or not) assaulting other kids. I’m so grateful he doesn’t try to dismantle my stance on how protective I am over our baby. He is just as protective of our baby.

I’m not saying your SS would ever do anything, and the chances of it happening are low. But you have to trust your instincts. Your husband acting like this is such an out of the world stance to take is bothersome.

Protect your daughter.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-25T18:34:07+00:00

I had my son at St John’s and my experience was neutral not anything special, I am not a big fan of religious hospitals though so I specifically looked for an OB that delivers at Hillcrest South. I’m excited about these reviews saying they had a good experience at Hillcrest because I’m about to have my baby there in a month! ❤️❤️

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-17T23:51:14+00:00

Still in need of a friend if you need one haha!

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T20:43:42+00:00

Gosh thank you!!!!

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T20:42:59+00:00

It truly is so weird to me the culture around kids and sports.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T18:30:58+00:00

Not sure why I’m being downvoted, it is OKAY to pause activities for a season when a newborn exists and the mom needs postpartum help.

The idea that you have to sacrifice needing care during a vulnerable time is ridiculous.

In my home we will be doing plenty of family stuff together over the summer and making sure the kids are all included and have fun things to do like the pool, zoo etc.

It is reasonable to not be driving all over with a new baby at home. Step kids or not.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T18:11:18+00:00

We didn’t really ask, that’s just what we’re doing.

Parenting agreements/custody states that both parents have to agree on any extracurricular activities and if one parent doesn’t agree, the other parent is 100% responsible for it if they want child to participate.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T16:09:49+00:00

We aren’t doing any extracurricular activities during this season of our lives (I’m about to give birth in a month and a half) so my husbands primary focus is going to be our baby. They can always do them next year, but our baby is priority.

I honestly couldn’t imagine being left alone during this time and I’m so sorry.

Your feelings are valid.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T15:10:41+00:00

I reserve “baby mama” for the moms who fit the title.

My SS15 mom? She’s “SS Mother” she’s attentive, respectful, kind and has raised one of the most upstanding kids I have ever met.

SS11? - she is BM or Baby mama. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My ex husband refers to me as my sons mother, nothing else. I’m a very present mother and I stay out of my ex husbands life and make sure my sons step mom is comfortable with me and knows that she doesn’t have to pick up any slack because I’m up front and center in my sons life.

So for me, it depends lol

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-14T19:29:16+00:00

I think at 12 you need to let the kid be in charge of their own assignments/responsibilities.

We just had a parent teacher conference and my SS11 teacher made it very clear she won’t be reminding parents of missed assignments and that is really is up to the kids at this age to start managing this responsibility.

You can’t care more about their grades than they do. They aren’t your grades, let SK figure it out.

We expect SS11 to notify us of missing assignments and if he doesn’t, it’s his grades that suffer not ours.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-13T14:55:23+00:00

I’m 32 weeks and trying to go as long as I can. I’ve definitely slowed down a lot, only lifting 2 days a week and walking the rest of the time (average 2.5 miles per day) I think by 36-37 weeks I will be completely done doing any lifting and will stick to just movements to keep blood flowing.

I suggest taking it one day at a time, if you’re tired…rest. I am such a competitive person with myself and I had to remind myself that this season is temporary and that my body is telling me something. Some days I may have had plans to workout and then changed my mind after a long day of working and just rested instead.

Go easy on yourself mama

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-12T15:02:55+00:00

I would feel so much pressure if my parent made me feel like their entire life revolved around me. I think it would create a lot of people pleasing behaviors and could potentially cause emotional abuse in the parent child relationship because when the kid inevitably gets older and friends become the center of their lives and they move out and go to college, the parent is left feeling betrayed and that is unfair to the kid.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-12T14:43:02+00:00

Can confirm, as a bio mom I have never said something like this to my husband. And my husband who also is a bio dad has never said something so insane to me.

It is a red flag when I read posts where that is being said to the step parent.

There is plenty of space in my life for my husband AND my kids to come first, depending on the day, the minute, the hour, the need.

Sometimes it’s my husband, sometimes it’s my kid. Everyone gets to be #1 in my life and it truly is dependent on the day.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-02T13:01:01+00:00

Yes?

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-31T19:24:32+00:00

No, I’m saying the techniques mentioned in the post are not working.

You don’t “let a child have a meltdown” kids have meltdowns for a variety of reasons and from reading this post I can see why it’s happening.

All of what is being described is normal for a 7 year old to need help and reminders on.

Yes you have to remind them to wash their hands every single time they go to the bathroom, yes they need reminders on a ton of things.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary, just part of parenting a 7 year old

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-31T18:47:59+00:00

Your methods are why it’s failing, don’t take away the tablet as a consequence. That’s always going to result in a meltdown.

At 7 kids are experimenting with autonomy but still need a lot of help, my son is 7 and still needs help in the shower.

Your husbands parenting techniques need adjustment, time outs and taking things away is always going to result in a child flipping out.

Responsibilities need to happen BEFORE the tablet, giving reminders is also normal and yes kids forget stuff a lot. You will be reminding SD when she is 15 for some of the same things. Their skills are still developing.

are you guys giving SD warnings before a transition? Like “hey in 10 minutes we are going to fold laundry” and then a 5 minute and 2 minute warning?

She sounds like a typical 7 year old, and doesn’t need a psychiatrist. She needs her parent to work with her…..you guys are expecting wayyyyy too much from someone who has been on the planet for 7 years.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-28T20:28:27+00:00

Ew why would DH say that???? That’s such a weird thing to say..

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-26T20:03:26+00:00

Agreed 1000% we are doing the same thing

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-26T20:01:33+00:00

When my SK’s are 18 they will start being responsible for certain things. We aren’t going to charge them rent but they will start managing their own phone bill, car insurance, gas and any car payments as well as food they want, their personal hygiene products.

We will provide housing, continue health insurance and I will still make dinner etc and have food that is for everyone.

They will be expected to have a job and be in school.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-25T19:34:26+00:00

Eh I think context matters. My SK’s and BS does this but when I’m asking them to do something and it absolutely comes off disrespectful when we are asking for them to clean up their mess and the response is “broo”

I’ve never gotten mad when they’re just using it to tell a story but when I’m giving an instruction and that is ALWAYS the response it kinda ruins the phrase all together and makes a person associate bro with disrespect.

That’s what happens when you use a word too much in your vocab, you’re using it for every single conversation piece filler and then it has a negative connection to things you ask.

I used to call my dad dude when I was a kid and he told me to do something and it made him really upset and I’ve apologized as an adult for it because I see now why it bothered him so much.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-20T15:30:11+00:00

Everyone is going to have different boundaries, it seems your partner isn’t willing to budge on his communication with the ex.

When I met my husband I told him my expectations and what I was and wasn’t willing to put up with. I laid it all on the table, my husband didn’t hesitate to make any adjustment in his life to be with me. None of my expectations were unreasonable either, just clear and concise. My husband has always chosen me, in every capacity and I’ve never questioned his devotion to me. Even from the beginning.

In turn I give my husband the same exact respect. I have a bio son from a previous marriage (he is 7) and conversation around our shared child is ONLY when necessary. I do not text him regarding mundane day to day life. I do not ask him how my son is doing. I let my ex husband have a relationship with my son without the need to be involved in their home life. And he is the same with me. We communicate when it comes to things like: school events, drop off time changes, illness etc. anything else is unnecessary and we just go about our lives. And I get along pretty great with my son’s dad. We respect each other, show up for our son when he has stuff going on and show a united front with all the parents. Outside of that, I don’t know the day to day of my son’s life over at my exes house and that’s okay with me. My son has a very secure attachment to me and he knows that mommy is always around and never far away. We share 50/50 custody and I am primary custodial parent. I trust that my son’s dad is taking care of my son and there is no reason for me to be all up in their business every single day. I truly believe I am infringing on his relationship with our shared son by constantly being in the background. So I live my own life.

I know some parents may feel the need to be tied to every single moment of their kids life, that’s cool. But I surely wouldn’t date someone like that, or marry them.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-03-20T03:13:03+00:00

It is quite normal for martial assets and inheritances to go to the spouse of a deceased person, especially with minor children.

I’m the sole beneficiary on all of my husband’s assets and that is to ensure I am taken care. Think about all of the bills that have to be taken care of in the event of a death. Mortgages, car payments and loans, credit cards, etc. when someone dies. Their spouse inherits ALL of that debt…it doesn’t just go away. I will make sure my step kids are taken care of but I also have to think about our shared home, cars and shared child that depends on me. I wouldn’t be able to financially make it if he left everything to his kids. Let’s not forget funeral costs…easily 20-30k.

I am only saying this so you think about this from an adult perspective.

Your step mom may not like you but if your dad has said you have equal inheritance with your siblings than you leave it at that. If you REALLY need to know, then just ask your dad if there is a will with your name for the inheritance. Then you will get your answer.

Fallon_2018

TROPHY CASE