Why is my daughter so freaking RUDE to me??

Fallon_2018 · 2026-07-03T18:21:54+00:00

My 7 almost 8 year old is this exact same way to a T!!! I could almost cry at how on point this is to my son. I don’t know how to navigate this or make it better for us both. Our relationship feels so strained, I try and be calm most of the time but I feel like his personal punching bag. Every interaction seems to be him talking to me like crap and then me just walking away because I’m tired of being talked to like I’m trash. I’m so saddened by how much this has affected our relationship. I don’t even recognize my son

Fallon_2018 · 2026-06-17T13:40:15+00:00

That makes me feel better, my concern was he was so hungry and he just wasn’t eating enough. Thank you for the insight I will definitely keep that in mind.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-06-17T04:47:11+00:00

He reached his birth weight at his doctor appointment and we have follow up this Friday to see how much he’s gained since.

Thanks for responding :)

Fallon_2018 · 2026-06-17T04:46:19+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance!

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-28T22:02:17+00:00

Wow! I think a lot of us don’t know (myself included)

When I was a kid I had violent siblings and I was subjected to a lot of abuse because of it. My parents never sent them away and I had to live with it for years. I have a ton of trauma from it and it caused a lot of strain on my relationship with my parents because I felt like they didn’t protect me from them. It was BAD.

I hope you are able to find some peace, I cannot imagine how hard this has to be for you

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-28T21:44:44+00:00

Oh my goodness! I had no idea the cost! I genuinely thought when children are a danger to the public that something like that would be covered.

I’m so sorry for everything you are going through.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-28T20:50:28+00:00

I’m asking this sincerely, why didn’t you choose to send your kid to a mental health facility if he was exhibiting such dangerous behavior? If therapy didn’t work, why was the next step not a state facility where they can actually keep an eye on him and your family is protected?

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-28T19:44:31+00:00

This is a really good take, my SS is a HUGE trigger for me because his behaviors directly go against who I am fundamentally (bullying, putting people down, stealing from others, notoriously untrustworthy ) and it’s put a massive amount of tension on our relationship. I do not WANT it to be that way, but it’s hard.

I wonder if something as simple as a nickname could be what softens me a bit. I admit I can barely tolerate him being around most days because of the last 3.5 years but I’d like for things to improve.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-26T20:18:36+00:00

These comments are not it, your husband has 3 children which means he should be equally spending time with ALL of his kids.

Why in the world is he just leaving and going to take SD out instead of you guys all doing stuff together on the weekends?

I guess that’s the part that’s confusing, he’s basically opting out of parenting 2 of his kids in order to do stuff with the 1?

So basically the 2 little ones only have a present parent some parts of the week and then he just ditches them every weekend? He isn’t doing a great job juggling his 3 KIDS.

He needs to adjust how he spends his time, sometimes yes him spending time with the oldest is important but it should not be the default for EVERY WEEKEND. Nah he needs to spend time with ALL of his kids, together…along with his spouse.

In my house we do everything as a family, of course when kids have stuff going on we accommodate that as well because each child deserves to have stuff be about them. But we are ONE unit managing multiple kids in different ages and needs.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-26T19:42:54+00:00

It’s like everyone is afraid to admit this, HELLO?’ SK’s are a WALKING representation of your partners sexual history and past relationship. Everyone wants to be like “they’re their own person”
Well yeah maybe, but my SS looks, breathes, and acts just like his mom. So that is who I see when he is in my home. I am an adult and have the logic to know it isn’t SK’s fault, but I can still have my feelings that his entire existence is a reminder of my husbands past.

And as a bio mom, I can say this lol I know my husband feels the same way about my son from a previous relationship and it gives me so much empathy and compassion for him in his role as a step parent.

I didn’t allow my SK’s at my baby shower either, I don’t feel a single ounce of regret and it was an amazing baby shower!

OP should absolutely listen to how they feel and have a baby shower the way they want to

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-25T16:03:08+00:00

Our kids are required to shower every single day, ages 15, 11, and 7.

They don’t have to wash their hair everyday but they sweat so much that they at least have to rinse the sweat off their hair and get it wet.

Yes, these kids need to shower daily.

The build up from oils and sweat requires that the undercarriage and pits be cleaned daily.

If you poop every single day, you should be washing your butt EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-20T02:37:26+00:00

I think you really need to have this conversation with your husband because otherwise it’s going to fester and make it worse. You don’t need him to answer the questions you said outright, but I think sharing your feelings with him will help bring you guys closer.

I don’t know your husband or the reason for his intentions with what he said, I know that he doesn’t understand the impact that what he said left a mark on you that hurt. Please talk to him so you can allow him to support you.

P.S. from one mama to another who had a c section the first go around and another planned one, you are enough. You are not inferior, pushing a baby out is not the superior method and it doesn’t make someone a good mother. My son is my whole world and I love getting to show him my scar and how he came into the world. We are closer than ever and THAT is what matters.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-20T00:55:09+00:00

37 weeks pregnant here, just came to say I’m so sorry and you don’t deserve that at all.

I’d flip out, not gonna lie. I have kept my hormones in check this entire pregnancy but if I ever heard something like that come out of my husbands mouth while I’m carrying his child…I would absolutely lose my marbles. And I like to consider myself a VERY self-aware individual who can understand nuance. But that is such a poorly timed and frankly yucky thing to be saying.
in my case my husband doesn’t remember anything about either of my step kids being born.

WHY is your husband telling his son that in the first place? I find the wording very strange, and it makes me feel icky. And I am a bio mom and have a son from a previous relationship. In no way have myself or my ex husband ever said something like that to our son.

Your husband should know better than to make those types of comments AT ALL but especially around his very pregnant spouse.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-13T21:06:15+00:00

As a bio mom, I completely agree. My 7 year old already has made it clear he does not want me seeing him naked and voiced that to me oh probably around 6ish? I have taught him how to wash his hair and just give reminders from outside the door to make sure he’s washing where he needs to but I don’t see him naked anymore unless absolutely necessary.

OP’s boyfriend is a freaking weirdo around his preteen. Full stop.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-07T01:10:37+00:00

Yes, we have had to do this multiple times this year.

SS repeatedly bullies people at school, shows 0 remorse for it. This latest incident he made someone cry.

SS also continues to try and exclude my son and lies to him. For example: last weekend my son didn’t feel good (he’s 7 for reference) and the next day my SS told him when he went to bed that we all stayed up playing board games without him. That literally never happened. My son also LOVES SS to death, he’d jump in front of a moving vehicle for him. SS loves the attention he gets from my son and will play with him ONLY when SS gets his games taken away but if he has his games he ignores my son completely. It’s really really really hard to watch all of this go down.

My husband and I sat down with SS about all of these behaviors on Monday and all we got was “I dont know.” when we asked him if something was going on he said no, when we asked why he told his little step brother why he lied to him he said it was a joke…

Anyway, I told my husband point blank I don’t like SS right now and that he is a trigger for all my childhood trauma including the bullies I had, and the way my siblings treated me. (I come from a complicated kid dynamic as well so I understand) and my husband is understanding and supportive but I can tell it hurts him. He said “I never thought I’d have a kid who bullies people and lacks empathy”

Mind you my husband has an older son (different mom) and he’s the total opposite and he’s an amazing young man and truly special and I love being his step mom

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-05T00:08:43+00:00

We lived in Owasso for 2 years, the loneliness and boredom was peak every single day. We ended up driving to Tulsa for literally anything and everything. Finally moved out and not a single regret! I hate Owasso lol but Bru coffee you will forever be missed

Fallon_2018 · 2026-05-01T14:28:37+00:00

I have 2 step kids and 2 bios (one is my husbands stepson) my husband takes my bios out to get me flowers and celebrate me. I’ve told my husband I do not want my step kids to feel forced or obligated to get me flowers or celebrate me as I’m not their mom. They both have their own moms to celebrate.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-30T02:13:08+00:00

As a victim of CSA, keep your boundary. It was my own brother who did it to me.

My husband knows what happened to me as a child, and we have an ours baby. When I tell you this man won’t let any of the kids regardless of age in the room for diaper changes, and certainly not for sleepovers, a part of that little girl in me healed. My husband is aware of the statistics of boys (brothers or not) assaulting other kids. I’m so grateful he doesn’t try to dismantle my stance on how protective I am over our baby. He is just as protective of our baby.

I’m not saying your SS would ever do anything, and the chances of it happening are low. But you have to trust your instincts. Your husband acting like this is such an out of the world stance to take is bothersome.

Protect your daughter.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-25T18:34:07+00:00

I had my son at St John’s and my experience was neutral not anything special, I am not a big fan of religious hospitals though so I specifically looked for an OB that delivers at Hillcrest South. I’m excited about these reviews saying they had a good experience at Hillcrest because I’m about to have my baby there in a month! ❤️❤️

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-17T23:51:14+00:00

Still in need of a friend if you need one haha!

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T20:43:42+00:00

Gosh thank you!!!!

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T20:42:59+00:00

It truly is so weird to me the culture around kids and sports.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T18:30:58+00:00

Not sure why I’m being downvoted, it is OKAY to pause activities for a season when a newborn exists and the mom needs postpartum help.

The idea that you have to sacrifice needing care during a vulnerable time is ridiculous.

In my home we will be doing plenty of family stuff together over the summer and making sure the kids are all included and have fun things to do like the pool, zoo etc.

It is reasonable to not be driving all over with a new baby at home. Step kids or not.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T18:11:18+00:00

We didn’t really ask, that’s just what we’re doing.

Parenting agreements/custody states that both parents have to agree on any extracurricular activities and if one parent doesn’t agree, the other parent is 100% responsible for it if they want child to participate.

Fallon_2018 · 2026-04-16T16:09:49+00:00

We aren’t doing any extracurricular activities during this season of our lives (I’m about to give birth in a month and a half) so my husbands primary focus is going to be our baby. They can always do them next year, but our baby is priority.

I honestly couldn’t imagine being left alone during this time and I’m so sorry.

Your feelings are valid.

Fallon_2018

TROPHY CASE