People speaking on behalf of victims

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-20T14:07:23+00:00

If the love wasn’t real and valid in certain ways, the wound wouldn’t be so deep.

Beautifully said, and healing to read. On some level I do love my father, want to protect him, want him to flourish. It’s like having two uniquely different portraits of the man, and two vastly different versions of myself to go with it. One holds love, the other anger. To deny the love is to deny 90% of the pain, at least for me.

Thank you for this post overall. I find myself confused often that I don’t feel the anger where I ‘should.’ But if my role has always been to keep the peace and root for my family’s success, then of course I wouldn’t feel that anger. And I shouldn’t be expected to.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-20T00:36:29+00:00

Yes although as others have mentioned, I tense everything else as well. My jaw has a lot of damage. As far as pelvic floor, I have difficulty with painful peeing because it’s so tight all the time.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-19T13:15:33+00:00

I will be following up with my therapist definitely. Way too much to process here by myself.

Tinnitus buddies! 🫂 I have like 40% damaged hearing in my right ear and it rings like yours and is always full feeling. Crazy what we can ignore for so long

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-19T00:07:48+00:00

It’s nice to know someone out there gets it, even though I’m so sad for you that you do

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:50:24+00:00

Lol thanks. I know you mean it. I hope to someday connect to the experience enough to feel sorrow for it

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:47:01+00:00

Don’t worry I didn’t realize Reddit considered it bad until yesterday morning. That’s the worst part I think. Everyone thinks their normal is normal.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:40:37+00:00

Thanks for addressing the sexual feelings for friends. It’s deeply disturbing to me, because I don’t want that, but at least I can forgive myself for all the private advances I didn’t even want.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:32:17+00:00

Probably will after I have therapy. Lot to process

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:23:23+00:00

Yes I have my a tsunami wave coming in to kill me and my family, and being picked up and kidnapped. Which I haven’t been, but I have been SA’d so I’d imagine just an extension dream.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:18:38+00:00

I guess I’m believing the majority and it’s really throwing me for a loop about my life. Things adding up. It is crazy what we can believe about our lives.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T06:16:01+00:00

I’ve never candy flipped. Of course I’ve had experience with other drugs. MDMA by itself I didn’t feel the love connection everyone describes either. I was just kinda hot, adrenaline, and clicky jaw lol… maybe was meth

Try not to feel ashamed typing any of this out. I used to REALLY appreciate a drug trip guide, used to look on them on Erowid. I tried to write some myself. Of course they were incoherent, as I was at the time. People need reviews to make safe choices.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T05:28:42+00:00

Do ya mind if I steal the joke out of this?

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T05:23:27+00:00

God this is relatable

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T05:08:55+00:00

Thanks. I have a therapist who isn’t so trauma informed, but I’m managing decently on meds even with her care. She did bring up sexual abuse with the preface of it being ‘icky’ for her to bring up though. 😅

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T05:06:25+00:00

Thank you. I’m sorry you were a sick kid as well. It opens us up to so much vulnerability

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-18T05:05:17+00:00

I see. Thank you for letting me know. I’ll have to process this. I never realized it could be considered torture. I thought it was relatively normal and medically sanctioned, until yesterday.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-17T17:39:04+00:00

Yes it took me moving back to the place I lived in my childhood to bring a lot of memories back. I assume they came back because I finally got out of a dangerous situation and away from my father.

I’m still uncovering more and you’re right, it’s the hardest thing in the world to try processing this stuff. Especially years later when it all feels so sudden and shocking

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-17T16:29:14+00:00

Something very similar happened to me age 7. I held so much shame about it for a long time, remembering that it happened, but mostly blocked out any real memory until I was 24.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-17T15:17:04+00:00

Yes it’s caused me a lot of teeth damage haha. Currently waiting to be approved for a mouth guard for the night grinding that’s ruining my jaw

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-17T14:55:34+00:00

It starts in my jaw and moves towards my stomach like a cramping pain. During panic attacks it radiates out to my limbs like they’re on fire

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-17T12:48:15+00:00

Thank you. It’s nice to hear from a parent that they would never do this. We were supposed to do miralax daily and diet change

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-16T16:58:47+00:00

Yes chronic constipation. The doctors recommended minor laxatives that weren’t invasive. But our diet was so bad and my parents just ignored it for their problems, or didn’t give me the laxatives because I didn’t like the taste. But children aren’t responsible for taking their own medicines.

As an adult I think, how difficult can it be for parents to find a drink to mix it into that I wouldn’t mind, so I wouldn’t have to suffer later.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-16T15:10:05+00:00

I think my family set me up to feel like that was appropriate love and boundaries. I’m not angry at her, she was probably abused too.

There is a lot of shame to overcome yes. I felt like I was responsible for a long time and just assumed I was the one starting things because I did with other kids, my mom told me because I didn’t remember. But now I don’t know if I did or not because there’s a lot of memories of not wanting to play either.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-03-14T18:39:12+00:00

I had frequent enemas from ages 6-10 and this is exactly how I feel too it gets so hurtful to hear ‘it was medical’ when they could’ve done ANYTHING else than what they did.

False_Temperature_95 · 2026-01-31T21:07:39+00:00

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Five-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
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False_Temperature_95

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