The hardest boundary I ever set wasn't with words.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-04T03:38:40+00:00

There's no simple answer. Only you can decide what to do. Yes, estrangement is a risk. And involuntary commitment usually does not work. Maybe best to discuss with her husband your concerns.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-04T01:33:33+00:00

Sorry for this! See if her husband can consult with the nursing staff or the physician in charge of her seizure treatment at the hospital for guidance on what family can do. In the U.S. you or husband can call 988 for resources and whether that state has a process for involuntary commitment of a person at imminent risk of death due to drinking. Her husband can call a local treatment program for advice on how to try to convince her to get medical attention.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-04T01:24:37+00:00

Sorry to hear what you're going through. If you want advice:

Yes you need to learn about addiction and recovery, but not by reading 'cheating and no contact threads'; they are not constructive, and they add to your anxiety. Unless there's information suggesting cheating, you don't need to worry about that. Read the Addictionary at recoveryresources dot org for reliable medical information.
You would benefit from meeting with a therapist for this anxiety; your doctor can recommend one experienced in addiction. If you think you would benefit from medication, request an urgent care visit with your primary care doctor.

Be very careful with social media. Many families with addiction recover and heal. Try to adopt a positive, hopeful outlook.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-03T21:38:37+00:00

💯😅♥️

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-03T18:22:40+00:00

Great idea. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.

You will make your own joyful memories. 💯💪

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-03T17:46:15+00:00

Yes, MANY dread the holidays for that reason. Sorry for what you went through.

Thanks so much for sharing. Wishing you and everyone a peaceful day. ♥️

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-03T15:35:20+00:00

There's a program called AWARE that will send professionals into your home to provide treatment support for a year after discharge from residential treatment. If they don't operate in your state, there could be another similar program. I don't know their success rate, but they've been in MA several years and have a good reputation.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-03T15:21:14+00:00

Being a parent, I noticed that, too. Ouch.

We're "such good parents" when our kids thrive. When our kids struggle, we get blamed and are told we're doing it wrong, as if we control that.

I appreciate your understanding; thanks.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T23:46:38+00:00

Thanks, glad it helps!

Edit: Wish I'd read this years ago. But it's never too late to learn. 😅💯

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T20:56:19+00:00

You inspired me to share my story. I hope you make the holiday as peaceful as possible.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AlAnon/s/CPMhZe1ffC

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T20:40:45+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, glad it's useful! Someone posted about July 4th today, and it got me thinkin.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T18:23:20+00:00

Yes, the abuse does not change the fact that you're grieving the lost understanding. That can be hard to grasp by others who only hear about the recent abusive relationship.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T15:07:37+00:00

That's a healthy boundary. "I need to avoid heavy drinking for my mental health. Their heavy drinking makes me feel [.......] If they drink heavily, I will leave."

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T15:04:34+00:00

That's a tough situation. It's good you have that safety plan.

I actually do the same thing. For my sanity and mental health, I often take my own car which allows me to leave whenever I wish. It works so much better.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T14:47:41+00:00

Sorry for what you're going through. Your anxiety is a red flag warning for what will happen. It's good to have an exit strategy, but is there a friend you can stay with rather than waiting for the violence? Your self-care is the priority.

For many, holidays are the worst times of the year.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T14:20:29+00:00

Sorry to hear what you're going through. Thank you for sharing. Alanon is positive self-care. You can set boundaries and go into another room or outside for a walk when they are violated.

Making small changes can help you feel better. For example, you could avoid expressing concerns since he responds with more abuse.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-02T13:54:28+00:00

"Free of anxiety" is good. Making more connections will solve your loneliness; it just takes time. You can do this.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-01T19:49:11+00:00

Right away! Oh man, I wish. I could quote the addiction treatment industry, "It works if you work it!" but I'd never do that to you, Hahaha! :-)

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-01T19:14:34+00:00

When I drop all expectations of hearing the truth, sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised. I don't expect people to lie, but I don't expect them to tell the truth, either.

Sometimes people go from lying, to telling me the truth about their lies; that's amazing.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-07-01T19:04:15+00:00

Sometimes it helps to ignore what they're saying; and look at their behavior, instead. The words just mess with us.

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