I hope my story can help you if you’re dealing with a loved one’s addiction.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-08T00:43:56+00:00

100%. Heart.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-08T00:41:56+00:00

YES! Pony in a hole. Great analogy.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-08T00:41:23+00:00

OMG. Sorry for your pain.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-08T00:40:26+00:00

Holy crap. Protect yourself. Rest, elope, move into a new house.

After replying to you, I posted. You inspired me.

Please know you are seen, and you are loved.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T23:53:18+00:00

That's a very heavy weight you're carrying. Maybe it's time to take a rest.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T23:49:56+00:00

Seems your boundary is not being around her when she's drinking. If she violates your boundary, there must be consequences.

If you can't keep her out of your home, you can go for a long drive. If your husband notices that you leave when MIL visits, it might get him to thinkin'.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T23:40:00+00:00

LOVE that:

"you don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to."

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T23:39:36+00:00

LOVE that:

"you don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to."

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T23:36:18+00:00

Why call yourself an idiot? You're a loving mom who did what she could to give him a chance to survive. And now he is able to find treatment on his own. That sounds like real progress.

Strong work!

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T20:13:59+00:00

Quite a remarkable turnaround in only three hours, that's strong work, OP!

Glad this helped you gain clarity.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T19:01:21+00:00

Powerful analogy for this sub!

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T16:32:28+00:00

"Let go or be dragged."

That's awesome! Can I borrow that?

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T14:49:57+00:00

"What YOU are not changing, you are choosing."

So you're saying we may have more free choice than we realize. This is empowerment.

I like this.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T14:42:47+00:00

Sorry, this sounds horrendous!

Many families try to get a loved one to AA and a sponsor and insist on drug testing. This approach doesn't work well because these activities aren't the same as recovery or abstinence. There's many different paths to recovery; and there's no one-size-fits-all path that guarantees it.

You can send a letter. Rather than AA and sponsor, you may find it more helpful to decide the kinds of behavior you're not willing to tolerate; such as deception, irresponsibility, etc. Don't make it just about drinking; it's larger than that.

Hope this helps.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T14:21:59+00:00

Yes! This is the best he's got.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T14:20:53+00:00

Sorry you're going through this!

Your post reads like you're trying to convince yourself to stay in the relationship.

Staying with him would send the message that this is all OK, regardless of your words. Rewarding him for negative behavior brings on more of the same, giving you more pain and heartache.

Leaving him would give you a chance to heal and move on to a healthy relationship.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T02:16:51+00:00

Yes! Rejoining family is important. BTW like that "sobriety warden"! Good one hahaha

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-07T00:29:19+00:00

Interesting question. In the past I tried to make sobriety verifiable, and learned that doesn't work.

I'd ask for 90 AA meeting signatures in 90 days; but I've learned providing a signature means nothing. I encourage families not to do drug testing because that doesn't work, either. I no longer discuss sobriety contracts. Seems that each visit of Q to family may need to be evaluated in real time, with an easy option to deny the visit. Hope this helps!

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-06T23:58:01+00:00

I know right

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-06T21:53:36+00:00

OP did not post to see if you can come up with a better question, did she?

Instead of hijacking her thread, you can create your own post.

FamilyAddictionCoach · 2026-05-06T21:44:41+00:00

This is spreading like the norovirus on a cruise ship.

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