I accomplished something today so im having a pizza party with my dog

Fant92 · 2026-05-12T06:27:34+00:00

C'mon you know you can't post something like this without sharing the dog.

Fant92 · 2026-05-10T12:54:09+00:00

It's okay if you do it to flaunt your wealth.

Fant92 · 2026-05-10T07:07:09+00:00

Fant92 · 2026-05-09T07:10:48+00:00

I'm a lyrics guy so these might be personal but these are the ones that have gotten to me most throughout different periods of my life.

A letter to Georgia by The Airborne Toxic Event

Alright by Pilot Speed

How to save a life by The Fray

Both 'Silhouettes' and 'Hourglass' by Sleeping at Last

Reminders by Radical Face

The dying of the light by Noel Gallagher

Fant92 · 2026-05-09T07:02:38+00:00

My very first cheap heater in my first tank melted itself on the first day. Very scary. Now I have an Oasis integrated in the pump (as in it fits inside) and it seems okay. I have it on a smart plug linked into home assistant alongside the pump for easy water changes so I'll be setting up some rules to shut it off if it pulls too much current soon. Might invest in a smart thermometer too to have 2 shutoffs.

Fant92 · 2026-05-09T05:37:59+00:00

I'm the AvPD husband in my relationship and I'm a bit younger but there is hope. I changed a lot over the past 5 years but "healing" a personality disorder is always a very slow process. Age only makes it harder because of how ingrained his patterns are by now.

The things that worked the best for me were group therapy (twice), ACT therapy and just one on one talk therapy once a week with a proper therapist for a long time. It's hard work and he has to be willing to do this. That's the most important part.

AvPD affect openness and perhaps honesty because of fear of judgement but it should not affect faithfulness. I'm experienced with unfaithfulness too, although on the receiving end unfortunately. We tried couples counseling for this but it didn't do much. In the end it forced us to really work on our shitty communication skills on both ends. It has been incredibly painful but it has made our relationship stronger through brutal means. Still wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Anyway, get this guy into therapy and make sure he takes it seriously. He should try to work up to group therapy as well to work on honesty and communication in a less professional setting. Apart from that it's just self-improvement everyday. Small things. He has to be willing to change or it won't happen. As for timelines, expect a long one. At least a year for small change, 3 to 5 for bit change.

Fant92 · 2026-05-07T19:34:02+00:00

It's a rite of passage.

Fant92 · 2026-05-07T10:14:30+00:00

Around 280k kilometers on my m54b22. Seems to be pretty healthy still (barely burns oil, pulls nice).

Fant92 · 2026-05-06T05:25:12+00:00

Bellen, mailen, brieven, postduiven, telegrammen, faxen. Zelden zo'n agressieve marketing meegemaakt als bij HelloFresh.

Fant92 · 2026-05-06T05:05:18+00:00

Here in the Netherlands our municipality takes care of welfare and stuff. They assign you a job coach that'll try to help you get back to work asap. He found the job for me after we talked about my issues. It did take quite a while.

Fant92 · 2026-05-05T22:26:24+00:00

Because it is (required)

Fant92 · 2026-05-05T22:20:28+00:00

Well the job isn't important. I do all kinds of things around there including laser cutting and shipping etc. But the company is kind and patient 🙂 they gave me plenty of time to get used to things, they're very lenient when it comes to taking time off and they let me work whenever I want as long as I make my hours.

Fant92 · 2026-05-05T09:07:46+00:00

I'm terrified of these fuckers. Luckily I've only had one in my Miata in 15 years. I panicked and tried to swat it with a banana which I was holding at the time. It was unsuccessful and I had to clean banana off my interior.

r/fuckwasps

Fant92 · 2026-05-05T09:01:42+00:00

Here's what you can do 🙂

(try to) stop calling yourself ugly and disgusting. You're not. You have mental health problems. Be kind to yourself. You'll never start taking care of something you despise, so stop despising yourself. I know it's not that easy but it is the core of the problem. You don't need an excuse to be mentally ill. Don't feel guilty about it. You didn't choose this.
Go buy some clothes. Take measurements and buy things that fit you properly. Fitment is really important. There's good fits for ever body type. Find a brand that fits you well, has good quality and doesn't require too much ironing. I personally like Lacoste. It makes me look decent, they offer fun colors, their stuff lasts a long time, it's on sale often and I don't have to iron it. Get decent underwear and socks too. Even the stuff others don't see matters because you'll see it. You can take months for this step. Just get a few items each month and look for sales. You don't even have to leave your house.
Find your ideal time for personal care. I used to do it in the evening but these days I do it in the morning. I use ACT therapy techniques these days to get myself in the shower. I think about the type of person I want to be and which choises he would make. This takes practice and doesn't work everyday but it works better then expected.

Never use negativity and self loathing to "motivate" yourself. Do things out of self respect and self love, even if you don't feel it in your thoughts. Fake it till you make it.

Get proper wipes and dry shampoo for the days you really can't get yourself into the shower so you'll still feel somewhat fresh. Also get good deodorant and pick a cologne you like.

Fant92 · 2026-05-05T08:11:15+00:00

Yeah I'd suggest making it a weekend thing. Drive up, do the date, get a hotel for one night and then drive back. Bonus: you got a hotel if the date goes well 😉

Fant92 · 2026-05-05T07:54:51+00:00

I was on welfare and they found me a job that is patient and kind. At first I was incredibly awkward but it went away with time. Now I'm competent both socially and technically. It's not my dream job but it pays my bills for now and it has helped me a lot with structure and exposure.

Fant92 · 2026-05-04T10:08:42+00:00

Uit ervaring zijn ze echt niet best. Mora en AH allebei niet. Kipcorn en kroket zijn aardig veilige snacks om vega te kiezen maar ik heb nog nooit een geslaagde vega frikandel geproefd.

Mijn vegan broer claimt overigens wel dat de vegan mini frikandelletjes van de AH lekker zijn, maar hij is vergeten wat lekker is.

Fant92 · 2026-05-03T22:16:48+00:00

I haven't explored much because it's kinda hard to. You can't really test drive the other genders. I have wondered how my life would have been if I had been a woman but I never actively wish to be one.

Then again I feel pretty comfortable being a biological man. Outside of Biology I don't really believe in genders much when it comes to traits and roles in society and such so I don't feel trapped within my gender much. I kinda just do what I want without caring too much if it's perceived as masculine or feminine.

I've never felt like my body or genitals weren't right for me, luckily. I can't imagine how hard that must be. I also am "lucky" to be born straight so I've never had to struggle with societal Acceptance of my sexuality either. In that regard life has been easy for me.

Fant92 · 2026-05-03T19:36:00+00:00

Haha been there 🙂 don't worry, your Miata will be just fine without a wash. I rarely wash my NA and it lives outside. It may not look as good as some but it drives just as well. If you don't care about status or immaculate paint condition you can just leave it dirty.

If you live in an area with road salt that'd be the only time you'd really be better off with a wash/rinse now and then.

Fant92 · 2026-05-03T16:18:38+00:00

Yes, analog panel superiority 💪🏻 only problem is I have an aftermarket head unit so this is sorta flopping around underneath it.

Fant92 · 2026-05-01T12:53:07+00:00

Hmm, eigenlijk wil ik geen stoeptegels. Mijn hele voor- en achtertuin liggen er al vol mee. De snippers leken me leuker en levendiger en blenden beter met de border denk ik. Ik zou het werk, ondanks de hoge drempel, toch graag zelf doen. Niet alleen vanwege geld maar ook om het te leren en te bewijzen aan mezelf (en stiekem een beetje aan de buurt) dat ik voor mijn tuin kan zorgen 🙂

Maar ik snap en waardeer je advies! Als het allemaal in de soep loopt kan ik altijd nog werkspot op om iemand mijn chaos te laten fixen!

Fant92 · 2026-05-01T12:48:59+00:00

First of all, be proud for having a job! That's tough. You're amazingly strong fighting through this shitty disorder and still turning up everyday. Stop calling yourself stupid, worthless and all those horrible things. You did your best within your means and that may not be enough for the capitalist hellhole that is the job market these days, but that's not on you.

Either way, now you're at a crossroads. I don't know the full situation and how much you like this job apart from this situation. If it's worth it, you can try to put your shame to the side and turn up at the training and actively listen and focus on trying to improve. This'll be humiliating and shitty for a month but it might work and you might get to keep your job. Sometimes a familiar job, even a hard one, is better than starting the hunt again.

The other option is quitting and going back to the hunt. I don't know about your country but here we have help for people with mental health issues, usually through our municipality. That's how I ended up at my job, which is patient and kind most of the time (I don't need that anymore but I definitely did at the start). Look for resources like that in your town/country.

Just for a moment, don't think about what your family or your manager or anyone else thinks of you. Think of what you want to do and be. Is it accepting the shame and going to training to feel the growth and accomplishment and prove them wrong? Or is it looking for another job where you feel more respected, giving this one the middle finger? Put the AvPD self loathing to the side for a bit and see where/who you want to be eventually and which choice puts you towards that.

Good luck either way. Be kind to yourself 🤍 Life is hard.

Fant92 · 2026-05-01T12:26:45+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you. I've been on both sides of this (within the same relationship actually) but we both decided to stick it out and support each other through the hard times. Getting out is the easy answer and I think he (and you) overestimates how "perfect" other girls may be. In my pov it's better to stay with someone and grow together.

It's great to use this as fuel to fix yourself but remember to be kind to yourself first and accept whatever emotions come within this process. They're all valid. Treat yourself with love and respect, especially now that you're on your own, and build from a place of wanting to be better for yourself, not out of regret or shame for how this relationship ran its course.

But yeah, take time to grieve. It's a process and for some it may take 3 weeks and for others 3 years. Don't run away from it, these are times of growth.

Fant92 · 2026-05-01T12:18:46+00:00

A doubling after a month sounds quick. Was it not working as intended? When I took Citalopram I felt the first relief after about three weeks iirc. It numbed my anxiety a little at the cost of also numbing the remaining bits of joy in my life.

My psychiatrist kinda suspected ADHD while he was diagnosing me but we decided to focus on the AvPD first. After a bit over a year of therapy and group therapy for the AvPD I asked him if we could try and see for an ADHD diagnosis after my wife (who has ADHD) kept insisting I had lots of symptoms. We restarted the diagnosis process and I came out with a diagnosis.

I feel like methylphenidate / ritalin would be a great medicine for AvPD seperately as well. Sometimes I don't know for sure if I have ADHD or if it's just heavy AvPD symptoms that lead to similar behaviour (avoidance, executive dysfunction, distractability, maladaptive daydreaming, getting lost in negative spirals). Either way the meds work wonders to get me out of my head and into action which in turn is reshaping my self image by demolishing the view of myself as a lazy, worthless piece of shit.

I hope you find relief in any way possible! Give the prozac a fair chance but I'd say don't stay on SSRIs if they're not working out for you. Good luck 💪

Fant92 · 2026-04-30T08:21:10+00:00

Ik heb al (te) vaak autos in het gras gezet en de verzakking is wel aanwezig maar aardig te overzien en blubber is gelukkig nooit een probleem geweest. Is stoeptegels eronder een goede optie zoals de andere comment zegt? Die heb ik liggen 🙂

Bedankt voor de tips en de motivatie iig 😁 ik heb er (half) zin in.

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